Media

Fox News’ Keith Ablow recommends ‘DADT’-like policy as alternative to divorce

Dr. Keith Ablow, Fox News’ in-house psychiatrist, is chock-full of medical expertise. He’s either recommending a decade-worth of drug supervision for Lindsay Lohan or diagnosing the country with a type of blanket voyeurism for following the Petraeus sex scandal.

In his latest FoxNews.com column, it gets no less weird. Ablow has some advice for the unhappily married: Don’t get a divorce. Get a “consorce.”

Consorce is an Ablow original, a type of cohabitation for couples without romance, all for the sake of the kids. And also to save money.

From his column:

Why not just stay in the same house, continue to work together financially for the good of the family, and, perhaps, even sleep in the same room (without sexual contact expected by either individual)?

In order to avoid the myriad costs of divorce, why not free one another from the expectation that one’s husband or wife is responsible for anything more than being a good partner in parenting and finance and a good roommate?

Those who agree to a “consorce” are inherently agreeing on a “Don’t ask; Don’t tell” policy regarding their romantic lives. That part of their individual behavior becomes entirely private, again, and I believe it is best to never mention it to one another.

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Comments (6)

  • Mhopkin
    Posted on December 14, 2012 at 3:06am

    This is the first time I’ve written on a blog. Somehow I stumbled upon this. I’m not quite sure why you think this is so strange. As another blogger mentioned, it has been going on for years. I am a person living in this type of arrangement. Full disclosure: It is fairly new. However, so far it is been amazing. We have been living this way for many years already, but it was the “Elephant in the room.” Once named, it immediately began to remove some of the tension. Granted,it takes two adults who really love their children, and care for each other enough to pull this off. As far as lying to the kids, you can’t lie to the kids. They already know what’s going on. Now they see their parents working together as a team. That must be a good thing. I knew my husband wasn’t “that guy” for me, butI also knew that no one else would love our children as he does, and they of course adore him. Non-husband material doesn’t equal non-parent material. I will continue to help in anyway I can, with no expectations. My spirit was immediately renewed, and although nothing has changed: Everything has changed.
    Lastly, of course it is a given that if abuse is present, this will not work. In no way did Dr. Ablow imply this.

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    Mhopkin  
  • Federica
    Posted on December 13, 2012 at 8:18am

    People suffering in a sad marriage needs a way out. They already feel pain and loneliness, they already lie to kids to protect them. The way dr Ablow suggests is only considering the possibility to fall in love and have intimacy without others suffering. Now, if you’re married and your marriage is broken, falling in love means cheating and lying. If you have an agreement, you don’t break promises and the partner won’t feel betrayed. Sure it’s a sad way to live an affair, but better than living without intimacy or always cheating

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    Federica  
  • blissdesignz
    Posted on December 13, 2012 at 6:48am

    Hey don’t knock it. My husband & I were separated filing for a divorce for a year stuck under the same roof because we had kids & not enough money to live separately at the time…I thought I was going to lose my mind having to look at him day in & day out it was one of the hardest times of my life! All I wanted was to get away from him & not be an emotional wreck. I went from liking him to hating him to missing him never knowing what I’d feel from minute to minute! But something happened during that time.. I guess we were able to clearly see what we were losing because we fell crazy in love all over again. Our light-bulbs seemed to light up at the same moment & a year after making a split ‘official’ you couldn’t pry us off or away from one another! For a year after being reunited we spent almost every weekend at a reclusive spot somewhere AWAY from everyone else. An epic romance for sure, even more powerful than the first time (which was epic). It truly strengthened our relationship so much that I can’t see us ever failing now & there was a point I really would have done ANYTHING to get away! I’m so thankful I went through it now. Not saying it’d work the same for everyone, but you just never know. If you can be civil enough to stay under one roof at least give it a try with a separation period. You may get yourself back & fall in love all over again in the process!

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    blissdesignz  
  • Mapache
    Posted on December 12, 2012 at 6:14pm

    What about lying to the children? Doesn’t integrity require some sort of honesty? Does he expect they will be better off with each spouse sleeping with other partners…..does he think the children will not know? I think Dr. Ablow has to go back to the drawing board and reconsider his idea.

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    Mapache  
  • Ducky657
    Posted on December 12, 2012 at 3:01pm

    Hey Keith–folks have been doing this for years. I have two friends who waited until their children were grown and then they divorced about seven years ago. Strangely both their parents did the same a generation earlier. Not everyone is able to do this because it was not easy for the four couples to ‘act’ like everything was OK when it clearly was not. However, cases where drug/alcohol abuse was a major factor this arraignment may not be practical–ditto for physical/mental abuse. Unfortunately our society is geared more towards what the individual wants despite the effect it has on their children.

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    Ducky657  

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