Education

Retractable steel walls? Here are some other ideas to secure our schools

In terms of beefing up security in schools across the country, liberals have been quick to dismiss the idea of arming school officials in the wake of last week’s deadly shooting in Newtown, Conn. That isn’t to say, however, that they aren’t offering up alternatives of their own.

Take, for instance, Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee’s genius idea to install retractable steel walls in schools, designed to keep potential attackers out.  She didn’t (but I’m assuming she meant to) mention how the security system will detect potential attackers and trigger the motorized steel walls to shut down the school before they can enter.  I’m imagining some sort of Minority Report-like system that predicts crimes before they happen.  Either that or a security device that will ask visitors whether they are at the school to a) attend a PTA meeting or b) to kill people.  If the intruder responds that they indeed intend to kill, a secret trap door will drop the perp down into a pool of alligators.  Or fire ants.

Speaking of alligators, wouldn’t it be easier to just dig a moat around the school and fill it with the hungry crocodilians?  Surely this would be a more cost-effective solution than steel walls.  You could lower the draw bridge when non-violent visitors arrive and for routine fire drills.  They’d also be good fun for kids during recess:

Retractable steel walls?  Here are some other ideas to secure our schools

We could also keep a litter of vicious attack dogs at each school and “release the hounds” whenever trouble arises.  Oooh, or how about man-eating lions?  I’m sure Sheila Jackson Lee failed to mention these options in error.

What are some other security measures you think could help keep our schools safe that a) don’t involve arming any law-abiding citizens, and b) are as viable as the installation of giant retractable steel walls?  Be sure to let us know with a comment!

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Comments (11)

  • beket
    Posted on December 23, 2012 at 10:21am

    Bear repellent.

    Bear repellent has become something of a family joke. I said (originally) I wanted to get some bear repellent to use against the hungry mob that would show up for our canned goods when Obama’s economy collapsed. But in the wake of Sandy Hook, my mother and I wondered (seriously) if the principal etc had had bear repellent, would it have stopped this guy? We think people still would’ve been shot, and some of them would’ve died, but we don’t think he would’ve made it to the classrooms.

    Of course, if it really works, the Left would ban it for some reason. And no doubt, CT probably already has some law banning mace and pepper spray type items from schools.

    Report this comment

    beket  
  • Keep Your Skepticals On
    Posted on December 20, 2012 at 9:23pm

    I say we skip to the inevitable conclusion and turn our schools in prisons and our prisons into schools – there is now way to lock up every criminal and crazy but we can lock up all our children nice & safe.

    I protested when my daughters’ daycare installed fingerprint identification. They said it was for security and efficiency. Ironically it only worked 50% of the time and had to be bypssed the other 50%. Not to mention those “not in the system” were often waved through out of convenience.

    I always think of that story a while back of the student that got suspended from school for breaching security protocol when he opened and held the door for somebody. Do we really want ALL of our children to treat everyone as a criminal else be treated like a criminal because somewhere out there is a criminal? These security measures are propogating the same shut-in, anti-social culture they are intended to curb.

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    Keep Your Skepticals On  
  • ambrosia
    Posted on December 20, 2012 at 6:22pm

    Hmmmmmm………detractions ?

    How ’bout a full size mural of Ms, Sheila Jackson Lee
    sitting on the toilet
    eating a fried pie ?

    That would deter ANYONE from wanting to enter the building-
    armed or disarmed !

    Report this comment

    ambrosia  
  • tootsie roll
    Posted on December 20, 2012 at 3:23pm

    Have you ever notice the lunatics that are in the Senat and Congress THIS WOMEN IS AT THE HEAD ALONG WITH THE THIEVING MAXINE WATERS

    Report this comment

    tootsie roll  
  • conservative karl
    Posted on December 20, 2012 at 1:54pm

    Retractable steel doors huh? So when an intruder somehow gets in and sets off the alarm system (say that killer has worked there for years as a janetor and has been sneaking in weapons all that time)… steel walls come down trapping hundreds of children inside a building with an insane killer with or without guns (maybe all he has are machetes and hatchets and crossbows)… meanwhile no one can escape and police can’t get in… meanwhile killer has time to do whatever the heak he wants without having to worry about those pesky people with guns who can stop him… Sounds like a brilliant alternative to an armed citizen practicing their right to keep and bear arms.

    Report this comment

    conservative karl  
  • blondenblueeyed
    Posted on December 20, 2012 at 1:15pm

    I got a better idea Sheila…how about parents keep their children OUT of public school and teach them at home. They’re not learning anything worthwhile anyway.

    Report this comment

    blondenblueeyed  
  • AmericanStrega
    Posted on December 20, 2012 at 12:50pm

    Geez, maybe we could start with taking down the signs that state “Gun Free Zone” and put in place “There are people with guns here. Enter at your own risk”

    Report this comment

    AmericanStrega  
  • Free To Choose
    Posted on December 20, 2012 at 11:31am

    While the moat & alligator idea is ok…moats can start to smell and alligators aren’t agile.

    I’m thinking about an aquarium like area with the top open around the entire school and have sharks with freakin’ laser beams attached to their heads. It could also double as a tourist attraction to gain revenue for the school which could help by books and computers.

    Either that or have a pressurized chamber at the lone entrance to the building that everyone has to stand in while being vetted by a panel of 9 administration officials. If this person doesn’t get a majority of “thumb’s up”, the chamber will then automatically vaporize the individual. This way, you don’t have to install retractable steel walls everywhere, and thus….saving money which can be spent on books and computers.

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    Free To Choose  
  • TEXASGRANNY73
    Posted on December 20, 2012 at 11:19am

    Meredith Jessup, what? You are cynical about Sheila Jackson Lee and her brilliant idea? Me two after you. I like the crocks and moat better. Merry Christmas from Texas and…a Happy New Year as well.

    Report this comment

    TEXASGRANNY73  
    • SouthTexan
      Posted on December 21, 2012 at 4:56pm

      Let’s put the retractable steel walls on the border and fill the Rio Grande with alligators. What up?

      Report this comment

      SouthTexan  

Comments are closed.