The winners:

“I said pull my finger or 1776 will commence again!”– LABGUY31

“The right of the people to keep and wear Jimmy Choos shall not be infringed!”– POLITIGOD

Runners-up after the jump…:

“And did you know, that if you read the Constitution backwards and substitute the word ‘chicken’ for ‘people’ it’s really just a smokin’ good soup recipe?”– PAXVOX

“Take your pedophilic stinking commie hands off my hernia you gold leaf-wrapped baby eater!”– HUGGINGMYBABIES

“You’re in danger! You’re in danger! They’re POISONING your WATER! Do you hear me? You’re in DAAAAAAAANGERRRRR!”– PUNKEYMONKEY

“That’s right! I am wearing a denim shirt with jeans. It’s totally acceptable, too. In fact, my denim jacket is being x-rayed right now!”– HEYBLINKIN

“Ya gotta let me through! I’ve got a UFO to catch!”– CAPT_GREGG

“Have you not seen Project Runway Kentucky? This is a very fashionable suit and I don’t need your pedophile, kidnapping hands all over it!”– BRANDONVPHOTO

“NO dang it! I’m not ED SCHULTZ!”– ANOTHERCOMMEN