US

Gun paranoia reaches DEFCON 1

America needs to take one big deep breath.  Seriously — relax, will ya?!

Politicians and the media have you so paranoid and stressed out about guns and violence, you’re willing to ruin cherished 90s sitcom memories and tarnish them with nonsense like this:

Schools in a Pennsylvania county were put on lockdown after a receptionist misunderstood the words of the theme song to “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air,” which a student had as his cellphone greeting, and thought the teen was going to commit violence.

Ugh.

Inhale.  Exhale.  Repeat.

Now, do the Carleton dance.

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Comments (7)

  • MC Wombat
    Posted on March 8, 2013 at 12:44pm

    Learned what lesson?
    People are STUPID. Toy soldiers on cupcakes…poptarts shaped like a gun…
    Sit-com theme songs…assault weapons bad, drones with missles good
    “I’m so afraid of guns that I am willing to ignore my country accelerating towards its demise while I pluck the toy soldiers off of cupcakes & pretend my freedom was won by an army of wall street occupiers battling the British with plastic spoons”! America, don’t run with a lolly in your mouth!
    Do Americans now run & hide when they see their own shadow? We are surrounded by insanity!

    Report this comment

    MC Wombat  
  • Superabound
    Posted on March 7, 2013 at 1:50am

    The teenagers “learned his lesson”?? What the hell lesson would that be, that gun-grabbers are hypersensitive idiots?

    Report this comment

    Superabound  
  • CreamOfWheat616
    Posted on March 5, 2013 at 4:34pm

    DEFCON 5 is the lowest level, while DEFCON 1 is the highest. Let’s work on doing a little research for our headlines, eh?

    Report this comment

    CreamOfWheat616  
  • Eric-n-OTown
    Posted on March 4, 2013 at 4:03pm

    Pay attention at the end of the broadcast, the reporter states that the student “LEARNED HIS LESSON”… What lesson, exactly, is that? He did nothing wrong! Unless, of course, the lesson is the same as all the others that have been recently reported: guns are bad, very, very bad. Wow. We’ve lost our ever-loving minds in this country…

    Report this comment

    Eric-n-OTown  
  • CLAYBLAISEDELL
    Posted on March 4, 2013 at 3:06pm

    Attention NRA Voting Members!

    Nominate Glenn Beck to the 2013 NRA Board of Directors!

    “With president “That Guy” using his vast executive power to abuse our freedom, we are facing an unprecedented assault on the Second Amendment and every other right enshrined in our Constitution. To withstand these attacks and hold the line to protect our rights, your vote is vital in the election of a strong, united, and effective NRA Board of Directors. To paraphrase Abraham Lincoln, remember what your vote means: It assures that the NRA remains an Association of the members, for the members and by the members.” ~ Wayne LaPierre

    If you haven’t done so already, please fill out your “2013 NRA Ballot Package” and nominate Glenn Beck, as a write-in candidate, to the NRA Board of Directors by adding his name to the back of the ballot.

    “In Addition to preserving the Second Amendment, the 2013 candidates will help build and expand NRA’s full mission: from molding public opinion, to promoting and governing shooting sports, to youth programs, to safety training, to preserving hunting rights, and to making sure Americans will always have a place to shoot.” ~ Wayne LaPierre

    Again, if you are a Lifetime or 5-year member of the NRA, please nominate Glenn Beck to the 2013 NRA Board of Directors!

    Ballots must be received no later than April 14, 2013.

    Report this comment

    CLAYBLAISEDELL  
    • r3dbull4dd1kt
      Posted on March 4, 2013 at 4:52pm

      no thanks…I will be nominating someone who didn’t tell us all to hand over our guns and comply if confiscation orders are delivered…somebody who actually knows something about the firearms they own…and somebody who doesn’t hide behind their Bible and actually stands in defiance against President Obeyme…

      Report this comment

      r3dbull4dd1kt  
  • Cavallo
    Posted on March 4, 2013 at 12:55pm

    Americans have seriously grown weak, and feeble. If another country would invade, these sissy pants educators would wet themselves, curl into the fetal position and whimper. Just make sure you don’t yell “boo” at them, lest they have a coronary, or become fatally and impotently apoplectic.

    Report this comment

    Cavallo  

Comments are closed.