For a mere $2.99, you can dive into Schlessinger’s famous no-holds-barred commentary on the Ten Stupid Things Couples Do to Mess Up Their Relationships.
This refreshing and helpful guide to getting things right in the love and commitment department applies whether you’ve been married for decades, you’re in a new relationship, or you’re on the market.
Dr. Laura leaves few “stupidity stones” unturned, as she delves into crucial missteps that couples should avoid at all costs.
The following are the chapter titles along with their descriptions:
- Stupid Secrets (Withholding important information for fear of rejection)
- Stupid Egotism (Asking not what you can do for the relationship but only what the relationship can do for you)
- Stupid Pettiness (Making a big deal out of the small stuff)
- Stupid Power (Always trying to be in control)
- Stupid Priorities (Consuming all your time and energies with work, hobbies, errands, and chores instead of focusing on your relationship)
- Stupid Happiness (Seeking stimulation and assurance from all the wrong places to satisfy the immature need to feel good)
- Stupid Excuses (Not being accountable for bad behavior)
- Stupid Liaisons (Not letting go of negative attachments to friends and relatives who are damaging to your relationship)
- Stupid Mismatch (Not knowing when to leave and cut your losses)
- Stupid Breakups (Disconnection for all the wrong reasons)
Here’s Dr. Laura on the problem of “I don’t feel like it”:
The following excerpt is from the chapter on the stupidity of keeping secrets…but with the caveat of privacy thrown in…and the difference between the two:
Whenever I receive a call about “telling” something to an intimate, the issue of what is private and what is secret is always the first part of the discussion. I not only want people to have integrity in their treatment of others, but it is vitally important for their well-being that they have compassion for themselves and maintain reasonable dignity. Too many folks seem to believe that they have to filet themselves wide open on the cutting board of their new relationships in order truly to be cleansed. These are the folks who have no sense of personal privacy at all. Others are filled with so much self-disgust that they want to hold everything in for fear that there is no forgiveness and no moving on. These are the folks for whom absolutely everything becomes a secret.
Being able to accept one’s limitations, historical warts, and problems while being willing to risk truly being known by another is a definite sign of positive mental and emotional health, without which, quality relationships are not possible.