After yet another amazing last-minute victory for the Denver Broncos, Jesus stopped by the team locker room on Saturday Night Live to tell quarterback Tim Tebow he needs to start playing better earlier in the games.
His other request? That Tebow, famous for getting on one knee and kneeling in prayer during a game, “take it down a notch” with regard to his outward displays of faith.
“Here’s the thing, if we’re going to keep doing this, you guys gotta meet me out halfway out there. I mean, let’s face it. It’s not a good week if every week I, the son of God, have to come in, drop everything and bail out the Denver Broncos in the fourth quarter, OK? I’m a busy guy,” Jesus, played by Jason Sudeikis, implored.
Tebow, played by Taran Killam, excitedly told Jesus he prays to him before every game, but Jesus wasn’t having it.
“Here’s something else you should do before every game: Stretch. Get the arm all warm, you know? Read the playbook, do you read the playbook?” he asked.
“The Holy Bible is my playbook,” Tebow said.
“OK, that’s great, that’s great but you need to read the regular playbook,” Jesus said. “You know who you should be thanking? Your kicker, OK? You don’t win unless this guy gets a 59 yarder. I’m serious man, Matt Prater, I pray to you brother.”
“Wow, you pray to me? I didn’t know that,” Prater said from the locker room bench.
“That’s because I’m not in everyone’s face about it,” Jesus said, with a knowing look at Tebow.
As he wrapped up his visit, Jesus said the team’s on their own next week — he has a “big birthday,” after all — and winced when he heard they’d be playing the New England Patriots.
“If I’m the son of God, Tim Brady’s gotta be the guy’s nephew,” he said.
As he left, he added, “Mormonism? All true. Every single word. All right, peace.”
Watch the clip below, via NBC:
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