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‘He Enjoyed Booze, Guns, Cars, and Younger Women Until the Day He Died’: Unrepentant Obituary Deemed ‘Best Ever’

Apr. 14, 2012 3:59pm Erica Ritz

Michael “Flathead” Blanchard’s obituary, published in the Denver Post on April 12, bears little resemblance to the standard “in memoriam.”

Penned by Blanchard before his death, the obituary notes, among other things, that Blanchard was “weary of reading obituaries noting someone’s courageous battle with death.” Rather, he wanted it known that he “died as a result of being stubborn, refusing to follow doctor’s orders and raising hell for more than six decades.”

“He enjoyed booze, guns, cars, and younger women until the day he died.”

After noting all those who preceded him in his death, the obituary continues: “So many of his childhood friends that weren’t killed in Vietnam went on to become criminals, prostitutes and/or Democrats.”

“He asks that you stop by and re-tell the stories he can no longer tell. As the Celebration will contain Adult material we respectfully ask that no children under 18 attend.”

He Enjoyed Booze, Guns, Cars, and Younger Women Until the Day He Died: Unrepentant Obituary Deemed Best Ever

(Photo: Denver Post)

Some are calling it “the best obit ever,” while others are saying, “I think he would have despised me, but that ROCKS!”

“RIP brother,” another commented.

The Denver Post published the article on Facebook, where hundreds have chimed in. Some dismay Blanchard’s political opinions, but most look past it.

“Yeah Michael, I’m a Vietnam Veteran too and a lifelong liberal Democrat. If we had met in a bar and had a few beers, we could have had a punch out….or, we might have broken out laughing. Go in peace brother…”

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Comments (219)

marcus_arealius
Posted on April 15, 2012 at 3:36pm
Yeah, being a criminal or whore is several steps above being a Demokkkrat.

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Rob_M
Posted on April 15, 2012 at 2:42pm
Pure win.

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Arshloch
Posted on April 15, 2012 at 2:35pm
Blanchard for President – at last someone with cajones!

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essay
Posted on April 15, 2012 at 2:17pm
I would have loved to party with him! RIP, and ride on.

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Slowman101
Posted on April 15, 2012 at 2:08pm
Wow, let’s save the preaching already! Enough. Start your own church.

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Mathew Manhorne
Posted on April 15, 2012 at 1:25pm
Wow, this story really hit a nerve with the Bible thumpers….. Its the height of hypocrisy to claim you know God more than the next person and to make the claim that you know place of a mans soul is even worse. As far as I am concerned this man was a true American. The kind of American that fights our wars , risks his life for his brothers and is there for them…. I salute him!!!!!!

Go easy Brother…Alpha Mike Foxtrot!!!!!!!!

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USAPLISKENXI
Posted on April 15, 2012 at 12:35pm
RIP Brother /173 AIRBORNE BongSong Nam 68/70 all the hurt is gone now

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The Gooch
Posted on April 15, 2012 at 12:22pm
Funerals and graves. What a waste of time and real estate. If you’re remembered for your death, there is something seriously fouled up with you and your circle of friends and family.
If I can’t be put on a pyre, throw me in a garbage bag or leave me for the crows. Go live life and raise a glass for me if you feel moved to do so.
Honest to the end for this fellow. Nothing wrong with that. We all die. Better to face it like a man than a simpering coward. Lies at funerals are painfully stupid. Wallow in your rituals. I’ll pass.

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southernman92
Posted on April 15, 2012 at 12:21pm
Those of you who post the judgmental christian comments on here every day do an excellent job of alienating the younger generation. Way to go hypocrites. Rest in peace Flathead.

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- The Gooch
  Posted on April 15, 2012 at 12:27pm
  Ya know, I’ve come to the conclusion it is actually very easy for folks to be holier than thou. Saying it makes it so for this breed. You might as well try to engage the foulest of leftist trolls as bother to engage this breed of busybody. Both are cut from the same cloth. Intolerant and ready to cast you aside if you don’t nod and smile in obeisance. Just another brand of bully.
  
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DeCaseMan
Posted on April 15, 2012 at 12:18pm
Feels like and honest goodbye
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kRuHVlGmdUQ

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polis
Posted on April 15, 2012 at 11:58am
There is nothing epic about this obit. Fact is you either accept Jesus with all your heart, soul and mind or you will go to hell when you pass away.

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Gman42
Posted on April 15, 2012 at 11:34am
Geese, someone passes and some people get divided with God and hate. Yes I believe in God. No I don’t give a crap about what you believe in. Let’s not try to force each-others faith/non-faith on people.

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- The Gooch
  Posted on April 15, 2012 at 12:28pm
  Amen.
  
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OutOnTheTiles
Posted on April 15, 2012 at 11:02am
It is sad what some folks consider “The Good Life” as if it is a finite thing without realizing that we are eternal.

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Rob
Posted on April 15, 2012 at 10:43am
I’m thinking I need to just stop paying attention to politics altogether. I really, really hate what liberals stand for and I just get so upset. I just watched Bill Cosby on television saying that in Obama’s second term it is going to be game on and big changes are coming… now I HATE Bill Cosby…. sigh.

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forthepeople
Posted on April 15, 2012 at 10:42am
HONESTY … refreshing in today p.c. society

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John 3:16
Posted on April 15, 2012 at 10:42am
I hope my obituary tells of a man whose goal was to serve his fellow man, to love other people who did not love him/me. I would hope my legacy would be more than a self-serving party boy who never really understood the reason for our existance. I do not judge “flathead” or anyone: I can only hope I have brought more kindness than pain to others, more love than hate and more truth than lies. In the end we will be judged my THE ONE who knows all this and more about every human that has or will ever tread this earth.

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- Rob
  Posted on April 15, 2012 at 11:24am
  I don’t care about other people at all, and only hate liberals. I have my wife and son and struggle to take care of them well. I don’t care if I have an obituary… I will be dead, I don’t care what people think about me. I will be cremated and I know where my ashes will be and that is it. I hope I leave a good son and that he will be happy and will care well for his family too.
  
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Frodo RinosBane
Posted on April 15, 2012 at 10:04am
Yes, God have mercy on his soul (and mine). We may be surprised at whose face we see in God’s Heaven.

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GrandmaPatriot
Posted on April 15, 2012 at 9:48am
My dad is terminally ill. I have asked not to speak at his funeral, because I don’t trust myself not to tell the truth. Something like: He was a mean, abusive man who had no idea what it meant to be a father. No matter how I demonstrated the love of Christ to him through service, He hated me and the God I love. He made a deliberate choice of his afterlife destiny, and now is experiencing the consequences of his behavior and choices. Now he can’t hurt me any more.

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- hi
  Posted on April 15, 2012 at 10:46am
  “He made me the woman I am” (ie I wanted to be the extreme opposite and am!)
  
  …and hopefully
  
  “He repented for his sins on his deathbed. He is in heaven with Christ who forgives all sins for those who ask Him into his/her heart.”
  
  Prayers for your dad that he will know Christ in the nick of time. Don’t give up. Prayers for you to forgive him as Christ has forgiven us of our sins. You will truly be free when you obey Christ and trust Him. Maybe you already have..just sayin’
  
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- hi
  Posted on April 15, 2012 at 10:55am
  I thought of something else. Even if he doesn’t come around, you can bring others to Christ by showing your love and forgiveness of him by saying a few kind words. I’m sure everyone will know what a butthead he was to you. It will have a huge impact for others to see your genuine forgiveness.
  
  Jesus was mocked and spat upon and He said ” Forgive them Father, they know not what they are doing.”
  
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- hi
  Posted on April 15, 2012 at 10:56am
  Fanny head is a cuss word???
  
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- Rob
  Posted on April 15, 2012 at 1:18pm
  My dad was often a SOB that beat me, but I tolorate him now and once he is dead I will speak well of him. He will be dead, who cares, and without him I wouldn’t be here and my wonderful son wouldn’t exist…
  
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- objectivetruth
  Posted on April 16, 2012 at 11:51am
  Just as God forgives you forgive him.If he in fact is ignorant of your love and christs love he will be forgiven by christ anyway.He hurt you out of ignorance not maliciousness.If he knew what he did then evil touched him.He may be lost.You aren’t though.By forgiving him you will heal.While I don’t have that experience with my parents I’ve had it with others.Its what I learned makes sense to do both from a spiritual and practicle perspective.
  I’m actually surprised at the number of people who have had lousy parents.It seems that is the norm.Those who like me had truly wonderful parents are in the minority.Yes they truly were beautiful as parents citizens and as human beings.They had their flaws .We all do.However their virtues far outweighed their flaws.I’m truly glad they were my parents
  
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wolverine
Posted on April 15, 2012 at 9:41am
Men are men women are women and when there is a liberal around the sheep get nervous

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hi
Posted on April 15, 2012 at 9:40am
Getting drunk, sleeping around, and raising hell is not something Jesus would do.

Pastor Greg Laurie commented that some Christians think back to their partying and miss it. He said that old life before Christ should be thought of in the same way as warm dog poop. You would pick it up put it in a bag. You would hold it out as far away as possible holding your nose and gladly throw it in the garbage.

This is the way we should think of our old sinful life. Clearly this guy was proud of his old/current sins.

Also, men chasing younger women is clearly sexist. The men on here agreed Sandra Fluke was a s..ut. Yet, they laugh and praise a men who act the same.

So, feminists became men instead of men cherishing the most intimate relationship with one woman. Sex between a married man and woman is called the Amago Dei…it is the reflection of God….two becoming one flesh.

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- wolverine
  Posted on April 15, 2012 at 9:42am
  One difference S*****id he did ask the taxpayer to pay for his sins
  
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- Baikonur
  Posted on April 15, 2012 at 4:02pm
  @hi
  Posted on April 15, 2012 at 9:40am
  ‘Getting drunk, sleeping around, and raising hell is not something Jesus would do.’
  **************
  Nor is it something any normal good person would be proud of, regardless of religious or political affiliation.
  
  Report this comment
RinkyDink34
Posted on April 15, 2012 at 9:10am
Diaper’s to Depends only takes a blink of the eye.

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usmc1063
Posted on April 15, 2012 at 8:40am
I can’t judge in Gods place nor will I even try. This man lived his life as he saw it. May his life be celebrated as he wanted it to be and his friends remember him as he was.

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T ParT
Posted on April 15, 2012 at 8:30am
Lot’s of folks without sin throwing stones on here.

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- 4BlueStars
  Posted on April 15, 2012 at 10:49pm
  His friends became “criminals, prostitutes and/or Democrats.”
  
  Isn’t that similar to the criticisms they laid against Jesus?
  
  Report this comment
lockedandloadedinSA
Posted on April 15, 2012 at 8:27am
There are no real men in the world anymore. No John Wayne, Steve McQueen, Robert Mitchum. No really tough guys that tell you what they mean and mean what they say. It is the Pussyfication of America. Nobody says what they mean anymore because they are afraid of the PC Police. My new Resolution for the new year is to be one of those guys. I am finally tired of holding back and not saying things that should be said. This guy went out the way he wanted to. No excuses, didn”t blame anyone. Just said it the way it was. And you have people that say that he was wrong. Well here it comes Kiss my ass, this is the way I want to go. If I die because of the things that I have done, I will die happy. and you can’t take that away from me. The only thing is I have lived 57 years and I don’t want to have in my obituary that I died from doing something stupid like bungee jumping or Parquee (sp) I certainly hope that this offended someone.

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- hi
  Posted on April 15, 2012 at 9:29am
  The Bible says that old men will dream dreams. This means that most think their life is ending and just kind of give up and give in. But, knowing Jesus gives hope because of the assurance of eternal life in Paradise. Jesus gives hope on earth too.
  PS I don’t think 57 is old…just thought it was appropriate response to what you wrote.
  
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KINGRUDDY
Posted on April 15, 2012 at 8:10am
Never knew this man, never heard of this man, but from what his obit says, he lived the American Dream, he had freedom of speech, freedom of choice, freedom of religion…..this man was free to persue happiness.. RIP & God bless!!!

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