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Colo. Considering Blowing Up Frozen Cows Found in the Mountains — Cue Flashbacks of the ‘Exploding Whale’

Apr. 17, 2012 4:16pm Jonathon M. Seidl

Colorado Forest Service May Use Explosives on Frozen Cows

Shutterstock.com

If you remember the infamous story of the “exploding whale,” you might be ale to predict how this story ends.

Here’s what we mean: the Forest Service in Colorado is considering using explosives to dislodge a group of cows that wandered into an old ranger cabin high in the Rocky Mountains, then died and froze solid when they couldn’t get out.

You might want to go back and read that again.

The carcasses were discovered by two Air Force Academy cadets when they snow-shoed up to the cabin in late March. Rangers believe the animals sought shelter during a snowstorm and got stuck and weren’t smart enough to find their way out.

The cabin is located near the Conundrum Hot Springs, a nine-mile hike from the Aspen area in the Maroon Bells-Snowmass Wilderness area.

Michael Carroll, a spokesman for the Wilderness Society in Colorado, said cattle are often allowed to wander on federal wilderness lands as long as ranchers get a permit from the Forest Service, and sometimes the animals get separated from the herd.

The Forest Service said Tuesday the animals came from a herd of 29 cows that went missing last fall from the nearby Gunnison National Forest where the rancher had a permit. An aerial search failed to turn up any sign of the animals.

Forest Service spokesman Brian Porter said rangers saw about six cows inside the cabin, and several dead cows lying around the building.

“There is a lot of snow, and it’s hard to determine how many cows are there,” Porter said.

U.S. Forest Service spokesman Steve Segin said Tuesday they need to decide quickly how to get rid of the carcasses.

“Obviously, time is of the essence because we don’t want them defrosting,” Segin said.

Segin said officials are concerned about water contamination in the nearby hot springs if the cows start decomposing during the thaw.

The options: use explosives to break up the cows, burn down the cabin, or using a helicopters or trucks to haul out the carcasses.

If the whole scenario sounds familiar, that’s because it is. Back in the early 70s, a whale washed ashore in Portland and officials decided the best way to remove the carcass would be to pack it full of explosives and light the fuse.

Recently, the famous KATU-TV journalist behind the report, Paul Linnman, recounted the incident on its 50th anniversary and has the hilarious original footage:

How did that one end? Suffice it to say the news camera and bystanders had to run for cover from the falling whale blubber, and a car nearly a quarter-mile away was totaled by a chunk of exploding flesh:

Oh, and they ended having to bury the whale carcass anyway.

But Segin said using helicopters is too expensive and rangers are worried about using trucks in a wilderness area, where the government bars permanent improvements and tries to preserve the natural habitat.

Carroll praised the Forest Service for trying to remove the animals while doing the least damage. He said burning down the cabin or packing out the carcasses are probably the best solutions.

“They need to use the minimal tool to get the job done. They don’t want to leave the land scarred,” he said.

Segin said the Forest Service occasionally uses explosives to destroy carcasses of animals that can’t be retrieved.

“We’ve used them as a means of disposal to remove dead horses, elk and other animals in areas where it’s impossible to get them out,” he said.

As for the whale, it’s become somewhat of a legend. According to KATU, “media watch groups have called it the single-most viewed news story in history and the BBC estimated several years ago that it had been viewed online about 350 million times in various incarnations.”

In other words, should officials detonate the cows, we could have another instant classic on our hands.

The Associated Press contributed to this report.

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Comments (46)

one_of_a_kind
Posted on April 18, 2012 at 1:26pm
Regarding the whale, my sister has lived in Florence for many years. This is what she had to say:
This story of the whale being blown up happened here in Florence in the 1970’s
between the 1st and 2nd parking lot at south jetty. They didn’t mention that a guy who
worked in Army demolition told them they were setting the blast wrong, that the explosives
should be put on the seaward side of the whale, so it would blow out to sea. They told him
they knew what they were doing. The whale blubber flew inland and two big pieces landed
on bay street and the one that landed on the car, was the car that belonged to the guy
who told them they were doing it wrong. He had had the car for only a week and it was
brand new. The guy lived in Eugene and a week later he got a new car, compliments
of the state of Oregon. The people who were watching ended up with whale oil on their
clothing and it didn’t smell too good. It was a funny story.

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bluesdog
Posted on April 18, 2012 at 10:46am
Leave ‘em be.
Buzzards gotta eat.

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ColoradoMaverick
Posted on April 18, 2012 at 9:24am
Here’s an idea:

Drag them out and let the coyotes, birds and worms eat them. I am a Colorado native and spent my entire life in the mountains here. I find dead cows just about every time I go into the back country where cows have grazed. In a month, they are a scattered pile of bones.

leave it to the Federal government to make a big deal out of this. They will hire experts that need to be flown in. They will do an environmental impact study on the effects of a decomposing bovine carcass and then after they spend a few hundred thousand dollars of money we don’t have, they will do something stupid like blowing it up.

It’s amazing how stupid our government is.

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- johnjamison
  Posted on April 18, 2012 at 9:42am
  Exactly, someone please tell these dumba55 cows are bio-degradable already…
  
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cowboy357
Posted on April 18, 2012 at 5:22am
Obviosly part of the Occupy Movement…..see their statement at Moo on .org

So no motor vehicles etc but a dynamite explosion is ok

Let me know the day so I can claim my wilderness experience was ruined and sue the Forest Service.

Don’t tell the buzzards and coyotes of my plan they ruin everything

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sillyfreshness
Posted on April 18, 2012 at 1:50am
How is the early 1970s the 50th anniversary of this story?

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- NOT A CRAZY
  Posted on April 18, 2012 at 5:14pm
  Exacty…it was the 42nd Anniversary.
  
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MBA
Posted on April 17, 2012 at 9:57pm
Helicopter to the butcher shop. How hard is that?

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schroeder123
Posted on April 17, 2012 at 8:11pm
This is stupid….someone wants to see a big bang..that’s it. let the wolfs eats the carcass. Or invite ME I wanna se a big BAng.

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- ColoradoMaverick
  Posted on April 18, 2012 at 9:26am
  There aren’t any wolves left in Colorado thanks to the feds, but plenty of coyotes can do the job.
  
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The Gooch
Posted on April 17, 2012 at 7:11pm
Foolishness. Six cows? Nature’s cleaning crew can easily handle this snack. This is man fixing a non-problem. The undertone is that environmental busybodies are pissed and formulating a laughable “worst case” scenario. Oh, and screw you, ranchers. I’m quite certain this will be used to limit your access in the future.
Hey, does this mean the cabin will be haunted? I hope the govt. doesn’t forget to hire a bestial medium. That’s important, too. Don’t want any negative spiritual energy hanging about from cow ghosts.

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- sic-semper-tyrannus
  Posted on April 18, 2012 at 9:52am
  As a friend of mine who was in Ordinance Disposal once said: There are few problems that can not be fixed with liberal amounts of high explosives and beer.
  
  I think that Backwoodsman Magazine should get up there and have a bushcraft and cooking symposium.
  
  Report this comment
Stu D. Baker-Hawk
Posted on April 17, 2012 at 5:59pm
Cowboy Rule #42: Never, ever ride upstream from the creek you just drank… you may not like what you find.

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possom
Posted on April 17, 2012 at 5:51pm
1 gal gas + 1 chainsaw = big BBQ

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- Sirfoldallot
  Posted on April 17, 2012 at 6:04pm
  Good idea, 2 damn the gas is 2 high !
  
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- Onowicit
  Posted on April 17, 2012 at 8:50pm
  I would buy the meat for my dogs. if any one could gather the chunks and send it my way, much appreciated. Save me a lot of money.
  
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Psychosis
Posted on April 17, 2012 at 5:50pm
Rangers believe the animals sought shelter during a snowstorm and got stuck and weren’t smart enough to find their way out

must have been liberals

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- gr8t2bfree
  Posted on April 18, 2012 at 12:12pm
  They were occupy Aspen protesters!
  
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- Welcome Black Carter
  Posted on April 18, 2012 at 4:07pm
  You only need to own cows for a short time to know they are quite a bit smarter than liberals.
  
  Report this comment
KingDork
Posted on April 17, 2012 at 5:43pm
Hmm a dead cow in the wild… yeah nothing in nature would take care of that at all… yup… nature is totally unable to do anything with dead animals…
*puts down his sarcasm sign and lets out a deep sigh*

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- Sirfoldallot
  Posted on April 17, 2012 at 5:49pm
  lol, then there was man & his nut jobs.
  
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valleyfever
Posted on April 17, 2012 at 5:41pm
Sounds like a Three Stooges routine with rules of engagement.

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Dishevel
Posted on April 17, 2012 at 5:32pm
Segin said officials are concerned about water contamination in the nearby hot springs if the cows start decomposing during the thaw.

Really. Six dead animals in the woods is a threat that the government needs to save us from?

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AJC1973
Posted on April 17, 2012 at 5:17pm
So when a bear dies in the forest… and all the other animals in the forest at any given time dont their bodies decompose and end up in the water? is there something wrong with THESE cows that we need to know about lol

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Silk
Posted on April 17, 2012 at 5:13pm
The first time I heard about this was a Dave Barry “Farside” column, I laughed so hard, I had tears in my eyes.
This time was no different seeing all the footage…thanks for the laugh.

Seriously though, a whale washes up on a BEACH, who do they call to fix it? The Highway Department, really? Because nothing says whale disposal expertize like the Highway Department…lol!

Good luck with the frozen cows.

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MrSunshine
Posted on April 17, 2012 at 4:43pm
Fly in some beer. Big ol’ mountain bar-b-que! Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm beefcicles.

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1234567
Posted on April 17, 2012 at 4:42pm
the whale washed washed ashore in Florence Oregon not the Peoples Republic of Portland, although the degree of commonsense used may have been the same.

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Fubar Frog
Posted on April 17, 2012 at 4:41pm
My question is; where did the person that wrote this article learn to do math? The whale thing happened in the early ’70′s and they had the 50th anniverary of it recently? Really? WTF!

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- Stoic one
  Posted on April 17, 2012 at 5:17pm
  2012-1978=34 there, now the author can correct the article.
  
  I did a triple take on this as well……….
  
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- Silk
  Posted on April 17, 2012 at 5:35pm
  Thank God you caught that, I was suddenly feeling like a very senior citizen!!! ;0)
  
  Report this comment
- Snidely
  Posted on April 17, 2012 at 10:05pm
  “Math class is tough.” Barbie
  
  http://youtu.be/NO0cvqT1tAE
  
  Report this comment
- erxcwrestler
  Posted on April 17, 2012 at 11:13pm
  The 50th anniversary is of the broadcasting station, not the whale explosion. However, it seems the blaze seems to have confused that detail.
  
  Report this comment
- katiefrankie
  Posted on April 18, 2012 at 12:10am
  I thought the same thing – Paul Linnman is not that old, and it is impossible for a whale to wash up on a beach in Portland, OR! If it could, I wouldn’t have to drive nearly two hours to get to the Oregon coast! Who writes these articles, anyways?
  
  P.S. Silk, Dave Barry is one of my favorite writers – I’m looking that whale article up!
  
  Report this comment
JP4JOY
Posted on April 17, 2012 at 4:41pm
Come on it’s 9 miles from Aspen CO!!! Get a cleanup fund going, all those rich and giving liberals that so love Aspen and the beautiful surroundings should cough up some money to airlift those dead cows out. Did you hear that the road contractor spent $200,000 in San Fran to move a manzanitas bush because it is supposedly extinct in the wild. There are lots growing along I-80 and all over Northern CA but they had to save that particular one, just stupid. Let Them Eat Cake, oh I’ve got that backwards don’t I?

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- YourVoiceMatters
  Posted on April 17, 2012 at 4:54pm
  great point! wait and see if anything happens! putting money where your mouthis is different than just adding your name to raise money … ought to be interesting to see how the dilema plays out !
  
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Mark0331
Posted on April 17, 2012 at 4:40pm
Let nature take its course, then dry and clean out the bones..make bowls and pipes out of them, then sell them at smoke shops…

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Sister_Mary
Posted on April 17, 2012 at 4:38pm
Yea don’t use a truck with a backhoe to go in dig a hole and bury them because you will hurt the land… instead take 20 government people around a room to take months to figure out what to do and $$ wasted… This is why when WWIII starts we will lose becasue you will have peole like this making decisions on where the tank can and cannot drive .. also when you shoot your weapon make sure you pick up you used shells …

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- Elena2010
  Posted on April 17, 2012 at 4:56pm
  Yeah, and burn down the forest as you burn down the cabin they got stuck in!
  
  Chain saw them into manageable pieces. Take the frozen pieces to a homeless shelter for the residents to eat like kings!
  
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hidden_lion
Posted on April 17, 2012 at 4:32pm
What ever happened to let nature take it’s course? Blowing up the carcass of animals does not seem to natural.

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- circleDwagons
  Posted on April 17, 2012 at 5:59pm
  Not natural but fun. beef hail
  
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- WeekendAtBernankes
  Posted on April 18, 2012 at 1:26am
  Says the guy who won’t have to drink the contaminated water. Geeze man, did you read the article? READ? There’s a reason why there is a long string of letters below the headline, you know.
  
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lukerw
Posted on April 17, 2012 at 4:23pm
What kind of Forest Service do we have… that cannot locate missing Cows… but is ready to Blow them Up?

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- TXPilot
  Posted on April 17, 2012 at 4:43pm
  I guess, the government subscribes to that old saying” “there are few problems in life, that cannot be solved by a suitable application of high explosives”…..:/
  
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- Onowicit
  Posted on April 17, 2012 at 8:55pm
  lukerw
  Made me laugh.
  stupid is as stupid does.
  
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Snowleopard {gallery of cat folks}
Posted on April 17, 2012 at 4:19pm
So now they are going to let all that beef go to waste and just blast it – and then have to bury it anyway? Waste across the board yet again.

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