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Five Presidents Imagined As You’ve Never Seen Them

Jul. 6, 2012 5:42pm

American history has its share of great people – people whose actions we can marvel over, and in some cases even gasp in awe and/or horror about if a new perspective comes along. However, those perspectives are almost always constrained by historical fact, and historical fact sometimes doesn’t permit the full impact of a particular historical figure on the national consciousness to be presented. In earlier times, artists could solve this problem by depicting political figures in mythological situations, sometimes even rising to the level of inserting particular historical figures into Biblical settings. However, this practice has remained essentially unheard of with respect to Presidents.

…Until the internet. Now, we can quite literally imagine our past Presidents in some of the most ludicrously awesome poses you’ve probably ever seen, thanks to an artist named Jason Heuser. Here are five of Mr. Heuser’s most insanely awesome creations, a fuller catalogue of which are viewable here and on his main page here:

#5. Theodore Roosevelt vs Bigfoot

Five Epic Pictures of Former Presidents As You Have Never Imagined Them

Speak softly and carry a minigun

#4. FDR as imagined by Michael Bay

Five Epic Pictures of Former Presidents As You Have Never Imagined Them

The only thing you have to fear is my arm cannon...oh, and fear itself.

#3. Ronald Reagan, Dinosaur tamer

Five Epic Pictures of Former Presidents As You Have Never Imagined Them

I'm from the Government and I'm here to kick your butt

#2. Abraham Lincoln on a bear

Five Epic Pictures of Former Presidents As You Have Never Imagined Them

So much better than "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter"

#1. George Washington, Zombie Hunter

Five Epic Pictures of Former Presidents As You Have Never Imagined Them

Nothing we can say would make this picture more awesome.

BONUS: Ben Franklin vs the God of Thunder

Five Epic Pictures of Former Presidents As You Have Never Imagined Them

Those who would sacrifice liberty for security deserve a lightning bolt to the face

In CONTROL, Glenn Beck presents a passionate, fact-based case for guns that reveals why gun control isn’t really about controlling guns at all; it’s about controlling us. Find out more HERE.

Comments (86)

1 2
  • Aerocog
    Posted on July 7, 2012 at 4:15pm

    Could anyone else stop laughing when they say this?

    Report this comment

    Aerocog  
  • lukeshop
    Posted on July 7, 2012 at 2:32pm

    Check out the vampire that George takes out!! Look familiar???

    Report this comment

    lukeshop  
  • OperationNorthwoods
    Posted on July 7, 2012 at 12:46pm

    I’d love to see Andrew Jackson against the Banksters.

    Report this comment

    OperationNorthwoods  
    • rickc34
      Posted on July 7, 2012 at 2:28pm

      The pictures are cool , Obama would be in a Tinker Bell outfit being the first Gay President.

      Report this comment

      rickc34  
  • LibertyGoddess
    Posted on July 7, 2012 at 10:18am

    Although the artist is good at coloring, his knowledge of the presidents is typical of our education system. He has none. Benjamin Franklin was not a president. I’m not impressed at all, because it does not inspire me. If I were a liberal, I might like what he did to FDR. The rest are nonsense using guns, violence and zombies is so typical of today’s youth culture. Senseless.

    Report this comment

    LibertyGoddess  
    • Weiners Wiener
      Posted on July 7, 2012 at 2:10pm

      Chill out, Libertygoddess. The artist isn’t quoted anywhere as having called Benjamin Franklin a president. The author of the article did that. Maybe you should stop trying to be such a know-it-all.

      Report this comment

      Weiners Wiener  
    • Mardoqueo
      Posted on July 7, 2012 at 11:44pm

      LOL Liberty i guess your reading skills are also that of public school level as the BF picture is clearly marked BONUS picture and is a 6th picture so clearly not part of 5 presidential pictures.

      Also I think its my fav of all of them

      Report this comment

      Mardoqueo  
    • Kupo
      Posted on July 8, 2012 at 5:59am

      Can’t you just chill out and have a little bit of fun? My God! The guy also has a kick ass drawing of Paul Revere riding a Light Bike. Do you think the guy thinks that Revere is a President also? Get a clue, stop being such a stick in the mud, and maybe think for 2 seconds before opening your gaping maw.

      Report this comment

      Kupo  
  • ocrick
    Posted on July 7, 2012 at 5:14am

    I guess seeing Ronnie Raygun on a Dino is correct, considering many Phony Christian GOPinheads

    say man and dino’s roamed the earth together…or the earth is 5,000 yrs. old.

    Report this comment

    ocrick  
    • nelbert
      Posted on July 7, 2012 at 7:04am

      @OCRICK

      Did your septic tank back up into your head again?

      Could you show me where there is any stated position by the GOP on evolution, dinosaurs, or the Ussher chronology?
      I’m a conservative who accepts the theory of evolution quite enthusiastically.
      So be careful when you bandy about your moronic accusations and generalizations.

      Report this comment

      nelbert  
    • RockinChuck
      Posted on July 7, 2012 at 11:49am

      time does not matter to God. Its a human thing. If you study science’s time line of how the earth was created it FOLLOWS Genesis. Personally, I think evolution is God’s software program . Evolution is a creation.

      Report this comment

      RockinChuck  
    • stage9
      Posted on July 7, 2012 at 12:56pm

      I’ll tell you what, if you can show evidence to the contrary, maybe we’ll accept your science fiction….otherwise there is absolutely NO SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE to support the theory of millions of years of MACRO evolution (natural selection, yes — macro-evolution, no!).

      And artist interpretation isn’t evidence of evolution nor are assumptions about the past based upon skewed data in the present, nor can evolution be conclusive simply because you’ve done a fantastic job of indoctrinating the naive with ridiculously false and phoney assumptions over the years.

      Areas that evolutionists must answer:
      The phoney claims of missing links based upon the findings of falsified bone fragments.
      The lack of fossil evidence of the millions of transitional forms that should be evident if evolution had happened.
      The law of biogenesis (life only comes from life)
      The uniformity of nature (uniformity cannot exist or be expected without a creator)
      The laws of physics (the big bang requires the suspension of the laws of physics, nor could those laws exist without a creator)
      The laws of probability (the fine tuning of the universe requires a creator)
      The laws of logic (logic requires a logical source)
      The laws of chemistry (the logical properties of the elements require intelligence)
      Radiometric dating methods that have led to wild assumptions about differing rock ages (while the science is sound; the conclusions aren’t)

      Report this comment

      stage9  
    • Uranium Wedge
      Posted on July 7, 2012 at 1:16pm

      @OCRICK
      Damn! You got our number. And your argument is so fresh and delicious.
      Damn… I mean, how in the hell do I come up with a witty rejoinder to that fresh comment of yours?
      And smart too… Damn.

      Report this comment

      Uranium Wedge  
    • Occupy_The_Blaze_FORWARD2012
      Posted on July 7, 2012 at 1:17pm

      and the Tea Zombies turn on Dilbert…err…Nelbert in 3…2….

      Report this comment

      Occupy_The_Blaze_FORWARD2012  
    • ERP
      Posted on July 8, 2012 at 4:10pm

      @Occupy_The_Blaze_FORWARD2012

      Try not to poop on anything while you are here, will ya?

      Report this comment

      ERP  
  • Jeritroll
    Posted on July 6, 2012 at 10:04pm

    I know FDR was a liberal but his picture is freaking hilarious.

    Report this comment

    Jeritroll  
    • BOMUSTGO
      Posted on July 6, 2012 at 10:14pm

      You would think there would be some Eagle droppings on his glass face plate?

      Report this comment

      BOMUSTGO  
  • desertspeaks
    Posted on July 6, 2012 at 9:58pm

    psst stupid, ben franklin wasn’t a president!! just thought you should know!
    Who edits this crap?

    Report this comment

    desertspeaks  
    • BOMUSTGO
      Posted on July 6, 2012 at 10:08pm

      Uuuuhh, it was a “Bonus” addition..It says so.

      Report this comment

      BOMUSTGO  
    • Liberty-or-Death-NOW
      Posted on July 6, 2012 at 10:13pm

      Yeah GENIUS, you can’t read? 5 Presidents, and a BONUS. Reading comprehension is a must; others need not apply.

      Report this comment

      Liberty-or-Death-NOW  
    • Flyingfish
      Posted on July 8, 2012 at 8:18am

      Another excellent example of the good works produced by our modern education system.

      I dig on the picture of Lincoln on the Bear.

      Report this comment

      Flyingfish  
  • BOMUSTGO
    Posted on July 6, 2012 at 9:47pm

    Why is Theodore Roosevelt shooting a Wookie? ;-)

    Report this comment

    BOMUSTGO  
  • BOMUSTGO
    Posted on July 6, 2012 at 9:38pm

    I was wondering what the Bill Clinton one would look like?? “The Intern seducer!”

    Report this comment

    BOMUSTGO  
    • Anti_Spock
      Posted on July 7, 2012 at 12:51am

      Yeah thats a good one! And what about Obama as the “Drug King Pin”…. he arms them through fast and furious…. slaughters U.S. border agents… all while high on cocaine and smoking choom. Heck throw in the NAACP as his evil legion.

      Report this comment

      Anti_Spock  
  • Bruce P.
    Posted on July 6, 2012 at 8:37pm

    If you got a kick out of these pictures, I would whole-heartedly recommend Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. I was skeptical but it was a FUN movie, that while wildly historical inaccurate (“you don’t say…”) it still captures, with wonderful accuracy, the bravery and spirit of the man who may be the greatest leader and finest citizen this country ever produced.

    Report this comment

    Bruce P.  
    • Bruce P.
      Posted on July 6, 2012 at 8:47pm

      Oh and then there is this…FDR: American Badass. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-R898wegx6Y (warning: strong language and laughably-done graphic violence)

      And this…Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0tFaQYSFLuE

      Report this comment

      Bruce P.  
    • Truthbeliever2
      Posted on July 6, 2012 at 9:50pm

      I think it’s absolutely ludacris to put men of this stature in fantasy poses. Unless you are planning to propangandize certain figures for political gain.

      These are powerful figures who’s names live on in history while their factual biographies become forgotten. These fantasies cast a comical light on our past leaders and serve as a distraction to their true nature.

      I am certain that average members of society would see this art and give a stamp of approval to the person represented in it solely based on their satisfaction with the art itself. Put simply; this is eye candy for prospective SHEEPLE.

      Report this comment

      Truthbeliever2  
    • ERP
      Posted on July 8, 2012 at 4:08pm

      @Truthbeliever2

      Here I am…

      Report this comment

      ERP  
  • loneindividual
    Posted on July 6, 2012 at 7:46pm

    Washington should have been dual-wielding Sabers or carrying a cannon at his side.

    Lincoln obviously should have been carrying a battle-axe in one hand and a shotgun in the other.

    Jefferson (who I wish was in the list) should have wielded a tomahawk and bone-knife.

    ps: I laughed hard at Reagan riding a Utah Raptor (that’s what it is classified as…not a velociraptor…Jurassic Park was wrong.)

    Report this comment

    loneindividual  
    • Chet Hempstead
      Posted on July 7, 2012 at 7:50pm

      Follow the link to the full gallery and you will find a hilarious picture of Jefferson delivering a knockout punch to a gorilla with his bare fist, as well as Paul Revere in Tron and pictures of Jackson and Kennedy.

      Report this comment

      Chet Hempstead  
  • ChadRohlfsen
    Posted on July 6, 2012 at 7:36pm

    Ummmm. Ben Franklin was never a U.S. president….

    Report this comment

    ChadRohlfsen  
  • LeadNotFollow
    Posted on July 6, 2012 at 7:17pm

    …
    Are most of the real Blaze reporters on vacation this week?

    Report this comment

    LeadNotFollow  
  • Crazy Times
    Posted on July 6, 2012 at 6:55pm

    not to be a critic, but i think it would of have been alot cooler if Reagan was punching a t-rex right in the face.

    Also he shoud do one for Obama – kitten korraler.
    Clinton as “Harem’s Heros”.

    Report this comment

    Crazy Times  
  • frust@ted
    Posted on July 6, 2012 at 6:50pm

    I like it very cool, but i was always a huge comic book fan so this is right up my alley. I’d like to see an Adrew Jackson poster, I think i read that he was shot 7 times over the course of his life. Some others I’d like to see, Grant, Ike and Taft(mostly because of the awesome moustache).

    Report this comment

    frust@ted  
    • Chet Hempstead
      Posted on July 6, 2012 at 7:41pm

      Follow the link in the story above to go to a gallery that includes four more paintings, one of which shows President Jackson as a space warrior clutching the head of a slain alien.

      Report this comment

      Chet Hempstead  
    • frust@ted
      Posted on July 6, 2012 at 7:50pm

      I checked it out, i liked the Paul Reviere one as well thought the JFK one was kind of lame though.

      Report this comment

      frust@ted  
    • Kupo
      Posted on July 8, 2012 at 6:05am

      The JFK one was lame, but the Robot Unicorn was still really awesome. Needs some music from Erasure and maybe a few dolphins though.

      Report this comment

      Kupo  
  • jonathanfarrar
    Posted on July 6, 2012 at 6:26pm

    Obama as the Emporer with Eric Holder as Boba Fett, Nancy Pelosi as Darth Pelosi, and all the liberals as storm troopers

    Report this comment

    jonathanfarrar  
    • BurntHills
      Posted on July 6, 2012 at 7:01pm

      so nice to know we all know how the story ended for the vile Emperor too.

      Report this comment

      BurntHills  
    • EJ1979
      Posted on July 6, 2012 at 7:01pm

      Thats a good one, but Id have to think the real Emperor is someone we dont know, and Obama is just another storm trooper.

      Report this comment

      EJ1979  
  • Lesbian Packing Hollow Points
    Posted on July 6, 2012 at 6:11pm

    Ah-hem!

    These are NOT five PRESIDENTS. These are FOUR presidents and one demi-god of intellect named Benjamin Franklin. Why does everyone thing Benjamin Franklin was a president?

    I am digging the Wolverine-claw lighting rods Ben’s sporting there.

    Report this comment

    Lesbian Packing Hollow Points  
    • Lesbian Packing Hollow Points
      Posted on July 6, 2012 at 6:14pm

      OH!

      And Ronnie lost his hat! Ronnie should be like Indiana Jones. Indy’s hat never falls off… except that one time when it did, but he recovered it.

      Report this comment

      Lesbian Packing Hollow Points  
    • I support God's Israel!
      Posted on July 6, 2012 at 6:16pm

      How about Obama kissing 5 men ON LARGE DONKEY? Afterall, he kisses the gay community’s butts now – on the lips wouldn’t be a stretch…….oops, sorry, me bad. I just can’t stand this potus. HE IS A TRAITOR TO EVERYTHING THIS COUNTRY STANDS FOR.

      Report this comment

      I support God's Israel!  
    • Chet Hempstead
      Posted on July 6, 2012 at 6:18pm

      Count again, they gave us five Presidents plus Ben Franklin.

      Report this comment

      Chet Hempstead  
    • ChristmanWalking
      Posted on July 6, 2012 at 6:44pm

      LesPacHolPoints…

      You went to school…Where? Proves you speak before you actually read the facts/truth!

      I don’t care who you sleep with or if you have a gun…Just stop talking if you can’t READ!!!

      Report this comment

      ChristmanWalking  
    • The-Monk
      Posted on July 6, 2012 at 8:23pm

      @ChristmanWalking

      Hey ChristmanWalking, back off my friend. She’ll chew you up and spit you out and then you’ll be DeadmanSleeping. She’s one of the most knowledgeable people I know. And I spent 14 years having breakfast every Sunday with a Nuclear Physicist, a Chemical Engineer, a Mechanical Engineer and an Electrical Engineer. My best friend is a real Rocket Scientist. Just a warning before you get over your head on this one. : )

      Report this comment

      The-Monk  
    • Lesbian Packing Hollow Points
      Posted on July 6, 2012 at 10:04pm

      D’oh! I committed the classic computer science error. Off-by-one. I wasn’t paying attention to the fact that Benji was a bonus, essentially the zeroth panting. I just saw the first one was numbered 5 and the last one was Benji and assumed it was number 1.

      Mea culpa. Mea culpa. Mea maxima culpa.

      Report this comment

      Lesbian Packing Hollow Points  
    • Lesbian Packing Hollow Points
      Posted on July 6, 2012 at 10:07pm

      In my own defense, I do try as hard as I can on a daily basis to forget that the Roosevelts were ever my countrymen, let alone presidents.

      Report this comment

      Lesbian Packing Hollow Points  
  • Snowleopard {gallery of cat folks}
    Posted on July 6, 2012 at 6:10pm

    Forget the two Roosevelts; the others, especially Lincoln and Washington and Reagan, wonderful.

    Report this comment

    Snowleopard {gallery of cat folks}  
  • blazingaway
    Posted on July 6, 2012 at 6:08pm

    Stupid

    Report this comment

    blazingaway  
  • Chet Hempstead
    Posted on July 6, 2012 at 6:05pm

    How about one of President Grant halting a stampede of pink elephants.

    Report this comment

    Chet Hempstead  
    • RJJinGadsden
      Posted on July 6, 2012 at 7:44pm

      Now, that was funny.

      Report this comment

      RJJinGadsden  
    • The-Monk
      Posted on July 6, 2012 at 7:52pm

      Shouldn’t that be “pink donkeys”?

      Most Elephants don’t vote gay….

      Report this comment

      The-Monk  
    • RJJinGadsden
      Posted on July 6, 2012 at 7:59pm

      Hey MONK, I would expect the pink donkeys would go with 0bama. Of course somebody else here made a better comment for 0bama. I laughed my ‘ass’ off.

      Report this comment

      RJJinGadsden  
    • RJJinGadsden
      Posted on July 6, 2012 at 8:06pm

      I stand corrected with that last post. I should have said ‘rainbow donkeys.’

      Report this comment

      RJJinGadsden  
    • The-Monk
      Posted on July 6, 2012 at 8:11pm

      Hi RJJ,
      “I would expect the pink donkeys would go with 0bama.”

      Of course. And CHET smokes HEMP inSTEAD is the reason for my commit. He’s an Obama supporter. I left a few replies on the Ted Nugent article that you might like for another Obama supporter. : )

      Report this comment

      The-Monk  
    • The-Monk
      Posted on July 6, 2012 at 8:27pm

      Hi RJJ,

      Looks like we were typing at the same time. LMAO. Free the Rainbows!

      “Just because Rainbows are curved doesn’t mean they aren’t straight” (A Monk original)

      Report this comment

      The-Monk  
  • WINNEBAGOMAN
    Posted on July 6, 2012 at 5:55pm

    The Presidents like Washington and Lincoln don’t need mythical imaginings to add to their legends. Their true portraits speak to them enough. Others, like FDR do need such favorable face-lifts.

    Report this comment

    WINNEBAGOMAN  
  • Rdy4WAR
    Posted on July 6, 2012 at 5:55pm

    Of course the artist had to pick two of the worst presidents ever! He must be a liberal!!!

    Report this comment

    Rdy4WAR  
    • mongastanman
      Posted on July 6, 2012 at 6:10pm

      Or he’s “just an artist.”(Doesn’t know anything about any of the presidents!)

      Report this comment

      mongastanman  
  • BurntHills
    Posted on July 6, 2012 at 5:54pm

    stuff like that is “fun”. it’s called ”imagination”.

    actually, this family took a vote, we all wanted to have a day off and go see ”Abe Lincoln, Vampire Hunter’ ‘ for fun.. but none of us wanted to pay a single red American cent to those commie actors who were on the talkshows voicing their hatred for us Conservatives etc, so, we found ” Independence Day” (Bill Pullman /Will Smith) and we will watch ‘Abe Vampire Hunter’ when it comes out on Dish Network. haha.

    Report this comment

    BurntHills  
    • I support God's Israel!
      Posted on July 6, 2012 at 6:19pm

      Wow. 2 great minds working without knowing! Me and my family, as well. WE WON’T SUPPORT ANY PROGRESSIVE/LIBERAL TYPE MOVIES with out money. I will wait until SyFy or AMC buys the rights to show it next year.

      Report this comment

      I support God's Israel!  
    • BurntHills
      Posted on July 6, 2012 at 6:51pm

      we also support Israel …God’s Chosen People… so whole-heartedly that we left a small local evangelical Christian church over their stubborn head-in-sand attitude. they weren’t anti-semitic, just “it has nothing to do with US, with OUR church HERE”… that was such a revelation to us.

      Only 2 nations on earth have been deliberately founded on God’s Word: Israel and America.

      Report this comment

      BurntHills  
    • BurntHills
      Posted on July 6, 2012 at 6:59pm

      we figured out with this entire extended family, if everyone stays true to our convictions (= NO money to the ANTI-AMERICAN ANTI-SEMITIC ANTI-CHRISTIAN COMMUNIST HOLLYWOOD) for the rest of 2012, since Jan 2009 we will have saved over $8000. on Hollywood-communist MOVIES. (staggering scary amount isn’t it)

      that doesn’t mean we do not watch them AFTER they come to Dish Network, haha. — as long as we do not pay to the BOX OFFICE thus our small withheld dollars= punishing the actors and Hollyweird bank books.

      by the way, we ALL proudly gladly went to see ” ACT OF VALOR”..some saw it multiple times. (we have a retired USN SEAL in our family)

      Report this comment

      BurntHills  
  • cookcountypatriot
    Posted on July 6, 2012 at 5:54pm

    should have one of obama running away from a pack of dogs

    Report this comment

    cookcountypatriot  
  • banjarmon
    Posted on July 6, 2012 at 5:51pm

    What would BHO’s pic look like????

    Report this comment

    banjarmon  
    • BurntHills
      Posted on July 6, 2012 at 5:56pm

      BHO’s yeah haha he’d be in a baby carriage crying in crappy diapers and it’d definitely have King Kong with a bra belt dress on in there somewhere terrorizing him.

      Report this comment

      BurntHills  
    • Chet Hempstead
      Posted on July 6, 2012 at 6:17pm

      Spider-Man fighting the Lizard. Spidey is Barack’s favorite comic character, and he excites the rage of people who are controlled by their reptile brains.

      Report this comment

      Chet Hempstead  
    • AnimalsAsLeaders
      Posted on July 7, 2012 at 1:34am

      It would be Barack taking a bite out of a warewolf

      Report this comment

      AnimalsAsLeaders  
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