Alleged Letter from Father to Teen Son After Discovering Porn on His Computer: ‘I Couldn’t Be More Proud of You’

Photo Credit: FILE
There’s a unique letter circulating online that claims to have been written from a father to his son. It’s gone viral and there’s no doubt that the subject matter — pornography — is driving the intrigue surrounding it. See, after Reddit user IrrelevantNinja discovered that his 13-year-old son was accessing porn on the Internet, he took action.
But rather than becoming angry and chastising the teen, the man decided to adopt a more interesting approach. Rather than punish the young man, the father detailed — in a letter — some of the steps his son can take to ensure he surfs porn in a safe manner on the web (i.e. without infecting the computer with viruses). And he concluded by assuring his son he was not angry and even “proud” of him.
Here’s the twist — before giving the letter to his son, he shared it with the Reddit community to get their feedback on his approach. The reactions, as highlighted by The Huffington Post, were diverse:
Many commenters praised IrrelevantNinja for his understanding. “Much better than my parents,” user Nicker_Bocker wrote. “Everything in here is cool, and you rock for being a progressive parent,” arcsine added.
Over on The Good Men Project, Cooper Fleishman agreed that the letter is “enlightened” but wonders if dad had a responsibility to do more. “Is he underestimating the influence of porn on young boys? Should he have told Mom?” Fleishman asks.
Aber83 offered another suggestion. “I think the letter is fine, but also think you should have a face to face talk with him, however awkward that may be. He’s still quite young and impressionable and porn can be quite addicting and give someone an unhealthy view of sex.”
The man reaffirmed that he went beyond simply being understanding and condoning his son’s actions. He also explained some of the implications surrounding what some see as a damaging social phenomenon.
“I also talked to him about porn not being like real life and that women aren’t objects like they are portrayed in porn,” IrrelevantNinja wrote following the incident, thus addressing some of the critiques that were waged against him.
Interestingly — and most controversially — the father also posted some links to porn sites that would be safe for the computer — suggestions that some have highlighted might be illegal (after all, adults offering suggestions on pornography to minors is certainly problematic). Regardless of the legal questions surrounding the scenario, the man inevitably deleted his Reddit account after the story went viral and doesn’t seem interested in speaking out any further.
The letter (which The Huffington Post chose to edit by removing the porn links) is available in its entirety, below:
I want to start out by saying that I love ya and I’m not trying to embarrass you. Before you do anything else click the star in the upper right hand corner of internet explorer which is already pulled up and then click back on the icon to the right of the skype symbol in your toolbar to pull this page back up. —————————————> That history is the reason that you got that scamware and all the other crap on your computer. I want to tell you that it’s ok. Listen, I was 13 once too and it wasn’t so long ago that I don’t remember. I’m not mad or anything. It’s life and I did it too. I just want you to know that most of those sites are places that can and will ruin your computer. You were actually lucky that it only did what it did. There are viruses and other scamware that can completly ruin a computer and I can’t afford to buy you another 1800 dollar machine because you went to a site that fried it.
There are sites that are completely safe and you can go on them and not have your computer turned into a piece of junk. You can go to these sites and not screw up your computer. Don’t click on any links taking you to other sites and please only go to these. Ninty percent of porn sites have crap that can brick a computer …
Listen, I won’t tell your mom and I’m not gonna make a big deal out of this. In fact I’m not gonna make any size deal out of it. If you don’t wanna talk about it that’s fine and I completely understand. I’ve been on this earth three times as long as you and there’s nothing you have done or will do that I haven’t done before. If you want to completely ignore this ever happened then I can and will do that too. Please don’t act awkward around me because of this. You have nothing to be embarrassed about. I just can’t have an 1800 dollar machine turned into a brick because you haven’t learned where to go on the internet. I’m not going to put a child lock on your computer or punish you in any way because as I said you did nothing wrong. I would like you to not be back here so much though. You literally spend all of your time back here. I’d like to see you more often. I like doing stuff with you and miss it.
I love you and I couldn’t be more proud of you.
In the end, the letter seems to be more about normalizing the practicing of looking at porn and the cost of a new machine than it seems to be about correcting the behavior.
Despite the favorable reaction by some in the Reddit community, others would view this letter as a failure to properly discipline the teenager. Furthermore, the suggestion of pornography links that were recommended to the minor only adds to the complicated scenario.
What do you think? Was this good or poor parenting? Let us know in the comments section, below.
(H/T: The Huffington Post)
In CONTROL, Glenn Beck presents a passionate, fact-based case for guns that reveals why gun control isn’t really about controlling guns at all; it’s about controlling us. Find out more HERE.
















































































































Comments (127)
darkhelmet
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 5:13pmWell its not gay porn, that is something to be proud of.
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BuzzardSays
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 5:37pmPORN IS OF THE DEVIL. IT IS IDOLATRY OF LUST AND THE ACT OF FORNICATION. NOTHING BEAUTIFUL ABOUT IT ONLY DEATH CAN BE BROUGHT ABOUT BY SUCH FOOLISH GRATIFICATION AND SELF_ABUSE THAT NATURALLY STARTS ONCE SIN IS BIRTHED IN THE HEART.
I say to the young man. Run,,,Run like your life depends on it.
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Oneirishman
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 5:50pm@BUZZARDBRAIN
If you religious zealots are so pious about everything sexual. How did so many priests molest so many children right under you noses?
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GoodStuff
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 6:41pm“How did so many priests molest so many children”
Because they’re false converts who have never repented of sin, and have never been born again. There are plenty of false converts in today’s “churches”. So, what’s your point? God is who He is, regardless of sinful man professing his own goodness and righteousness.
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toto
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 9:23pmPorn is so sad in that the people who produce it are debased and the people that view have unhealthy sexual relationship views validated. You would think the feminists would be all over this on that issue alone, but just the sound of crickets. The most wonderful sex is between two people that are committed to each other forever. It benefits the children that are born and helps teach the them that bonding is through thick and thin, not just for tonight. Porn is all about selfishness, irresponsibility, and money, and the children be damned.
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Chatikh
Posted on September 28, 2012 at 1:52am@Goodstuff
“Because they’re false converts who have never repented of sin, and have never been born again.”
Who are you to say they are false converts? You can’t say that someone isn’t Christian when they do something morally reprehensible. To God, all sins have the same punishment, and all Christians sin. If you excluded all sinning Christians, there would be no Christians.
So were they sinning? Yes. Were they Christians? Probably, at least most of them. There were so many that you can’t just say they aren’t christian, likely many of them are religious but were severely tempted.
Either way, they deserve to be severely punished. But I wanted to make the point that one can’t assume someone is a fake Christian based on some sins but not others. Especially when all sins are equal. I think it’s tempting to do this because you get to keep this mindset that Christians don’t do bad things, but that is wrong and naive and means you ignore the problem instead of fixing it.
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ToddH
Posted on September 28, 2012 at 9:24amThe letter comes across as practically condoning the son looking at porn on his computer because the father truly is afraid the boy will ignore his suggestion to stick to the “safe” sites if he doesn’t act all cool with the porn in general.
“I will not put a child lock on your computer”, this is mistake one. He could save himself a lot of grief by simply limiting the computer to ONLY access those sites that won’t download viruses. If he wants to allow a few porn sites he knows to be safe, then he can allow those still with a parental lock. Why take the risk with an $1800 machine if you really can’t afford a new one? He doesn’t need to make up a list of porn links for the boy to stick to. That really seems like condoning the behavior (“hey buddy, so proud of you for not being gay”) sort of thing.
Also: “there’s nothing you have done or ever will do that I haven’t done before” is WAY too permissive and a bit presumptuous. I assume from this line the kid is not very far into his teen years yet or the father would probably know how hard kids try to out-cool their parents and you make that more of a challenge by betting you’ve done everything already they could ever think of doing.
Child psychology dictates that you show SOME disapproval. If you don’t, he will go looking for adventures his old man has not yet experienced. Put a child lock on the computer & then let the boy find out on his own that not all of the porn sites have been blocked (wink-wink).
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ToddH
Posted on September 28, 2012 at 9:32amI also think it will be funny when the father learns it was his wife who was looking at th porn sites, not his son.
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NeoFan
Posted on September 28, 2012 at 4:11pmThe fathers approach may not be perfect but at least its loving. We are swimming in filth in this world and we cant protect our kids from it forever. Its best to try and keep them as innocent as we can for as long as possible so they at least have a good childhood. Eventually they will like all of us be barraged with those that are not content to keep their perversions to themselves. So what do we do knowing that we cant keep them safe forever? Try in a loving way to teach them that choices have consequences. Teach them that good choices lead to happiness and bad choices can lead to misery depression and death. Then give them some good examples of people that made the right choices including yourself. Then pray like crazy they make the right choices.
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rbcintexas
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 5:07pmI was with my Mom when I was 13 and whipped out my wallet and a condom fell out. I had no idea what a condom was for but I saw older guys with them in their wallets and to be cool bought one at the gas station and stuck it in mine. We were walking into the store and I pulled out my wallet and when I did, the condom fell out. I did a dance and luckily covered it up with my foot and do not think my Mom saw it but it was embarrassing.
I also bought a Playboy when I was 13 and ran out to the car while my Dad was shopping and stuck it under the seat so that he would not see it. Well, he saw me buy it and when he got into the car, he reached under the seat and pulled it out. We had a long talk on the way home but he never told my mother or said anything about it again.
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DadInFishers
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 5:46pmOf course he didn’t tell your mom about it. He didn’t want her to confiscate it from him! ;-)
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yanki161
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 5:03pmA modest man walks into a hotel and says to the desk clerk, “I hope the porn in my room is disabled,” to which the clerk replied, “No. It’s regular porn, you sick ba$tard!”
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Eastinfection
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 6:03pmLOL… just spit beer out onto my $1800 “brick”.
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Frodo RinosBane
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 5:02pmI just want to know if he’s gonna make sure the ****** he hires for his son’s 18th birthday is AIDS free….
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soybomb315_II
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 4:58pmWhile you guys are busy worrying about some backwards dad, Mitt Romney is going around the country saying the following…..
“I got everybody in my state insured. One hundred percent of the kids in our state had health insurance. I don’t think there’s anything that shows more empathy and care about the people of this country than that kind of record.”
-Mitt Romney (September 26, 2012 in interview with NBC)
http://www.salon.com/2012/09/27/what_mitt_was_supposed_to_be/?source=newsletter
swamp_donkey
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 5:18pmha ha ha i love mitt , doesnt matter who wins the election we will have a progressive in the white house
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soybomb315_II
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 5:32pmat least you are honest with yourself
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Oneirishman
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 5:58pmAnd your source is Salon.com. That’s a very conservative site, Thx moron.
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stillbombshelterbob
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 7:01pmDear Soybomb315_II;
I’d tell you what I think of your “spinning”, but I promised my wife that I wouldn’t belittle and ridicule mentally challenged, constipated D*ckheads anymore. So you’re in luck, you get a pass on this one.
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TIME_2_END_THE_PAUL_CAMPAIGN_IN_12
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 7:59pmSOY. What does this story have to do with Romney? Sound familiar? Fookin’ hypocrite…
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F_This
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 8:54pmSoy’s dad should have stuck with watching porn and beating off, then 47% of Americans wouldn’t be on government assistance.
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soybomb315_II
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 9:11pm“spinning a quote”, “what does this have to do with Romney”, “beating off”
i post a direct quote and you go dark….you are no better than the libs
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Strait Talk Express
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 4:55pmMuch the way that great technological breakthroughs resulted from our space program, I have heard more than a few times that every worthwhile app and innovation on the internet was initially created by international pornography industries investment, with California continuing to lead the way. Is this true?
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rpp
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 5:22pmNo. It is a lie. It is nothing more than wishful thinking by perverts who want to believe that their perversions are somehow productive.
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Chatikh
Posted on September 28, 2012 at 11:40amIt’s true. It’s easy to find info on it. The only people who would disagree are people who don’t look things up and who can’t conceive of something useful coming out from something they despise.
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symphonic
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 4:54pmThe “father” is merely justifying himself. He is the porn addict, and somehow through a SICK COMMISERATION of sorts (your own son!!) he is rationalizing his own failures as a parent. He has been lost to this a long long time. Commiseration. The sin of self-justification through Co-corruption.
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Oneirishman
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 6:02pmYou sound like a hoot!
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Merrymix
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 4:45pmYears ago, the nuns used to tell us that sexual behavior outside of the moral bounds of marriage leads to insanity. That was pretty deep and we all wondered what made them say something like that. Considering all the craziness and mounting insanity in the world today, it seems they had a point. This father needs to worry more about the ruination of his son than the ruin of his computer.
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Oneirishman
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 4:52pmThose must have been some “crazy” nuns.
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thibx
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 4:44pmthe dad is a pervert passing it to the kid.
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Oneirishman
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 4:54pmLet me guess, your a Muslim?
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DimmuBorgir
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 5:15pmI’m no muslim and I agree.
bad parenting. not sure if this is better or worse than the parents that let their kids drink at home
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Oneirishman
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 6:07pm@DIMWIT
I can hear you screaming at you kid now. “I SAID NO WIRE HANGERS IN MY HOUSE!” Mummy Dearest.
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GardenoftheGods
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 4:43pmI don’t like the easy access to porn that the internet offers; in fact, I don’t like porn at all. What jumps out at me is the line…”you’ve been spending a lot of time there…” That tells me that Dad knows there’s a problem brewing; but is too weak or too progressive to save his son from becoming a mind numbed letch with some bad habits. I wonder what else Dad is willing to keep between the 2 of them…Failing grades? Fights? Drug use? A girl that his son got pregnant? Mom’s going to wake up one day & she won’t recognize her son; she’ll turn to Dad & say: “How did this happen?” The 2 of them will look at each other in wonderment and shake their heads & say “But we were such good parents…” NO YOU FOOLS, YOU WERE TRYING TO BE YOUR SON’S FRIENDS, WHILE HE NEEDED PARENTS TO GUIDE HIM…See 65Mustang’s post!
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LeadNotFollow
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 4:38pm…
A real Dad would have spoken to his 13 year old Son face to face, not in a letter.
Also, there should have been some sort of punishment, for going to porn sites.
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FREEDOMoverFEAR
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 4:44pmLeadnotFollow
You’re right on both subjects and thank your for not spouting pious non-sense.
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Oneirishman
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 4:45pmNow go to your room!
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Chatikh
Posted on September 28, 2012 at 11:31amMaybe he should discourage his son from going to porn sites, but punishment might be just as bad as condoning it. It might make his son associate shame with sex, which also screws up kids when they get older.
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FREEDOMoverFEAR
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 4:37pmMy mom caught be looking at porn. Man that was an awkward conversation. I haven’t looked at porn since…. with out thinking about my mom.
LOL I don’t care who you are that’s funny!
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Granny58
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 4:54pmLOL. Yes it is! Guess she made her point!
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Oneirishman
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 5:22pmBut was she proud of you?
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rockmanlinux
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 4:35pmWow, today has shown another step in the wrong direction for me. Samuel Jackson’s video first, now this. World has no morals anymore. I guess thats why we are told to be in the world and not of the world. Just need to be a light amidst the darkness and people will come around. I don’t think this father realizes what he’s doing by not correcting his son.
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wvernon1981
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 4:42pmPeople haven’t changed. Technology has enabled people to do more than they could in the past.
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FREEDOMoverFEAR
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 4:48pmCockmanLinux
You do realize hookers have been around since the Greeks and Egyptians were considered world powers, don’t you? Values change as society’s evolve why do you think Old Testament is considered obsolete. Now go pray your life away waiting for the apocalypse. I will continue to enjoy my life that God gave me and make fun of over concerned people such as yourself.
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coachlips
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 4:29pmThis dad is very worried about breaking a computer, but not so concerned about breaking his son. Very sad. Porn is very addicting. Way to put being your kid’s “friend” instead of doing your job and being his dad.
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Oneirishman
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 4:43pmMaybe dads a porn star.
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wvernon1981
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 4:43pmWell, Dad and Jesus won’t win out over porn so he might as well be realistic about it.
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another pucker
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 4:23pmI approve of the fact that he said he didn’t want things to be awkward between them now but…
1. Dad did not have the internet to support his porn problem at 13 he had to find away to get his hands on a mag. or video and then a place to watch it.
2. Having in such easy access as the web will just give his son the opportunity to become addicted, then want sex all the time then once he has done everything to fill his fantasy he will cross over because the only thing new will be sodomy!
3. One perversion leads to a bigger perversion and so on and so on and yes, so on!
4 What would he have done had he found drugs in his room? I bet we probably know!
He could have had such a different conversation with his son in that letter. He could have told his son he knew, I will not buy you another computer if you brick it, and every time he got on the computer walk back just to say “how you doin” “what you up to” or better yet “mow the yard and take out the trash!” And porn will warp you mind and your life!
XOXOXO
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Oneirishman
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 4:34pmIf I’m following you logic, sodomy is the new “crack”? Get it, crack/sodomy, never mind.
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Oneirishman
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 4:51pmAccording to your last posting you should be blind by now. So my guess is you have been visiting those Braille porn sites, you sick bastard!
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JimL
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 4:19pmsigned, W. Allen
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Lion420
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 4:18pmProud? While I understand the Dad not wanting to crack down on his son, but pride is not an emotion I associate with porn.
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Mapache
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 4:17pmSeems more concerned about the computer hardware than his son’s hardware. Pitiful.
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blackyb
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 4:15pmThe man is trying to appease. He is an idiot. He is letting his kid make his decision and the kid does not need that just now. He could handle it nice, but being that ‘open’ minded does not work on something this serious. He should make a decision to help his son, not try to make the kid feel like he is all grown up and will quit using porn. What ever happened to Church and the teachings of the Holy Bible? Porn will ruin people and is addicting. The boy needs to see and understand how serious this is, but in a way that is not totally condeming, but more serious. It is sickening how this man pushed off his responsibilities onto the son to “grow himself” up and not even allow his mother to be a part of something that is so serious. They boy needs to know his mother is a part of raising him in any serious situations. His father could be gone, dead, or whatever then who is going to be there to settle disputes of what is to is not to be? Sounds like the father is trying to get the kid to see how nice and cool he is. It is sickening and cowardly.
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Oneirishman
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 4:23pmHe could just be happy his kid likes girls.
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walnutportconservative
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 4:11pmThat is lousy parenting. This guy wants to be a cool friend instead of a father. The father obviously has a history of viewing porn, and can’t deal with it himself. He justifies his own actions in a wierd way here. I don’t think this story should even run, as some men will use this very type of story to justify thier own peeping habits. The $1800 computer should be brought out to the living room, parental contols get turned on, and the history never gets touched again except by dad, or mom. Oh… mom should be told as well, in private, junior does not need to know mom knows. The porn available will have junior craving for… who knows what if he continues viewing this tool of satan.
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Oneirishman
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 4:17pmYou mean like craving Devels Food Cake, right?
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MrSunshine
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 4:26pmDevels? Weren’t they a 50s doo *** group?
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MrSunshine
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 4:42pmOh for the love of Pete! How about d-o-o w-o-p group? Is that better Blaze? Lord know I wouldn’t want to offend my d-a-g-o friends.
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Oneirishman
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 4:59pm@mrsunshine
We figured it out;)
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Oneirishman
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 4:08pmAnd son, just to be open, you may see your mom putting herself through college.
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FREEDOMoverFEAR
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 4:33pmLOL
Don’t you now he will go to Hell if he touches his naughty area. He might go blind too!
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wvernon1981
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 4:44pmAwkward
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PurrrpleMtnMajesty
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 4:07pmNot sure of much of it, but the last sentence, “I couldn’t be MORE PROUD OF YOU” is not good parenting as far as I’m concerned for this kind of action. Yes, kids are curious, yes, it’s better to not over-react, but to say it’s one of the best things you have ever done to make me proud? Wow…talk about having the ultimate lowest level of standards/expectation for your child.
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Git-R-Done
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 8:00pmLeft wingers are known for lowering standards.
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goahead.makemyday
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 4:07pm“You discovered porn at age 13, congratulations! I know porn can cause an unhealthy view of s ex and lead into s exual intercourse before you get into the 7th grade. I also know that any girl you have s ex with the earlier she does the more at risk she is for a certain type of cancer. I know that porn will most likely lead to ma stur bation which leads to ED and carpultunnnel, but son. I am so proud of you. Let me be the progressive the father and guide you down this road you have chosen. Allow me to give you some tips on ‘safe’ surfing, and save you from many cyber viruses. I know I should be cautioning you about how early exposure to porn has been possibly linked to increase in chances for possible sociopathic se xual urges. But I am so proud of you. P.S. This will just be between you, me, and the random people I share this with one the internet.
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FREEDOMoverFEAR
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 4:43pmGoahead.MakemeGay
Do you think the porn made the sexual sociopath or that maybe sexual sociopaths like porn. Sometimes studies don’t differentiate between casual and coincidental. I was exposed to porn at a young age but didn’t care to view it until I was older and sexually active. I turned out fine. I only murdered two hookers last week.
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mommaLION
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 4:07pmIt is quite sad that porn is becoming normalized :(
It ruins the fabric of our society. Which is the “Family.”
Men have unrealistic expectations. Women feel objectified.
Porn is really just a very selfish pleasure that in the end costs everyone.
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Oneirishman
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 4:28pmI’m sure next years Fall line-up will have the Shiny New Normal or How I Met Your Mother In Porno.
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PurrrpleMtnMajesty
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 4:41pmI know of a minister who does couples counseling and recommends PORN to help them release their inhibitions…….All I could think is…..Is that what JESUS would do/say?
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MrSunshine
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 4:44pmDon’t forget Sesame Street Walkers.
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Chatikh
Posted on September 28, 2012 at 11:51am@PURRRPLEMTNMAJESTY
I’m pretty sure if Jesus had something to say on the matter, he could have said it. If he was divine, he could probably see into the future, our present, and see that porn was evil. He could have then put a message into the Bible that he wrote, laying down Jesus’ guidelines on whether he likes porn or not. Since he didn’t do that, I’m going to assume he didn’t care much or that he wasn’t able to look into the future.
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65Mustang
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 4:06pmProverbs 22:6 – Train [teach] a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.
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Oneirishman
Posted on September 27, 2012 at 4:15pmIsn’t that what Dad just did?
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Chatikh
Posted on September 28, 2012 at 11:53amAh, if only that were true. If it were, then there would be no Christian teen pregnancies, no Christian teen crime, no homosexuality in Christian families, etc….
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