These Are the 5 Most Ridiculous Moments From GQ’s Attempted Expose on Conservative Kids Patriot Camp
GQ’s Lauren Bans published a long, blistering article purporting to expose the “re-education” she experienced at Patriot Camp, a summer experience for children that seeks to inform young people about American heritage. While Bans, an associate editor at the magazine, admits that most of what the camp teaches is harmless, she highlights the apparently “disturbing” pro-life and conservative values that are instilled in the young children who attend.
TheBlaze has compiled some of the more outlandish portions of the article, which Glenn Beck highlighted on his radio show Tuesday morning. Below, you’ll find the five most ridiculous sections of the piece which Bans entitled, “Welcome to Camp Idontwantobama!”
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1. Among the themes and tactics present throughout the article, Bans used personal and unflattering descriptives of some of the individuals whom she encountered at Patriot Camp. Her first insult doesn’t take long to emerge, as it appears in the second paragraph and is directed at camp director Deborah Seneca. She writes:
“Okay, guys, let’s bow our heads.” Camp director Deborah Seneca, a.k.a. Miss Deb, a mother of two who could easily be mistaken for the butchier Indigo Girl, waits for a hush to fall over the campers. Today is day four of a weeklong history camp run by Constitutional Champions, a national nonprofit that was founded in part with seed money from Glenn Beck. Patriot Camp’s stated mission is to teach kids the “truth about our country’s founding,” in the way, I guess, you might send kids to math camp to learn the truth about the Pythagorean theorem.
The Indigo Girls are outspoken lesbians, thus the insult, which was clearly unneeded if Bans was truly seeking to explore Patriot Camp’s central tenets, has intended meaning.
2. The personal insults continue not long after this, with Bans writing about “a sweet redheaded senior” who was volunteering at the camp. In addition to insulting her by comparing the woman to Tammy Faye Bakker (an evangelist, author and evangelical known for her over-the-top makeup and hair), Bans tells an unflattering story that seems intended to make the camp look particularly unfavorable:
I join a group taking a break for cold cuts and “prayer pretzels.” I’d always thought of pretzels as nondenominational, so I ask one of the snack-table volunteers, a sweet redheaded senior who’s made up like Tammy Faye Bakker, to explain. The camp’s pretzels “are made in the image of a child praying,” she tells me. “It’s the way they did it in the olden days.”
Tammy Faye and I kibitz for a few minutes by the coolers. She tells me she’s from nearby Hershey, home of a pair of Hershey factories, land of chocolate-perfumed air. She loves volunteering because she loves kids, and as if to illustrate her point, she tells me about one of the camp sessions yesterday, when an instructor asked, “How do you get rid of a president who’s doing a bad job?” Here Tammy Faye giggles and half covers her mouth like she’s about to share the perfect kids-say-the-darnedest-things punch line. “A couple of them shouted out, ‘Assassination!’“
While it’s possible this happened, can an entire camp be held responsible for the words of children — especially immature children who blurt out the first thing that comes to mind? One can easily see this being an answer given at a camp with a liberal tinge, too. What about the more positive stories of children learning about American history or the related breakthroughs that very likely happened at the camp? This were, of course, left out of the article.
3. At another point in the piece, Bans inserts race and admits expecting that the camp would have a “take back our country from the black guy” sentiment embedded within it. She also associated this racist mentality to some of the elements present in the 9/12 March back in 2009:
IF I’M BEING completely honest, I have to admit I wasn’t sold on the idea that this would be a politically neutral history camp. In fact, I envisioned a kind of “Take back our country from the black guy” ethos permeating the place, the same attitude that dotted the 9/12 March on Washington, a movement that likewise billed itself as nonpartisan. This is partly because of Beck’s financial hand, but also because the first time I ever saw Miss Deb was in a 2011 clip from Beck’s show on Fox News, which she had posted on the Patriot Camp website.
4. In an effort to show just how “disturbing” the camp experience was at moments, Bans told the alleged story of a little girl who had drawn a mother with a dead fetus:
One of the volunteer moms is encouraging the creatively blocked: “Start drawing the things you like! Baseball? Spaghetti?” I spot two little girls at the end of the bench who need no encouragement. They’ve already commandeered about five of the Magic Markers and are hunched over, vigorously coloring. When I go stand behind them, they part to show me their work. The skinny little blonde girl on my left has drawn a crying woman standing next to a burning ball of fire. “Why is this lady so sad?” I ask her. She looks up at me with brown jellybean eyes, puts her index finger on her sun, and explains to me that “her baby is dead.” That’s when I realize I’m not looking at a sun. It’s a bloody fetus, which she drew using orange and red. Apparently Crayola doesn’t make a decent flesh-colored marker.
5. Despite sharing examples that purportedly show the “disturbing” nature of the camp, Bans also made a seemingly-contradictory point in claiming that she witnessed “plenty that suggests” the kids “aren’t absorbing much of anything” at Patriot Camp. Bans writes:
Is Patriot Camp, as one left-leaning blogger for Mother Jones labeled it, an “indoctrination camp”? Or does the political stuff just go right over these kids’ heads? I witness plenty that suggests they aren’t absorbing much of anything. At one point during Mr. Alex’s intense lecture about God’s hand in the drafting of the Constitution, a little girl raised her hand and interrupted him. “Mr. Alex,” she pleaded, “can you do a magic trick to make me disappear?”
So, which is it? Is Patriot Camp a dangerous indoctrination mill — or a harmless experience for children? Perhaps Bans’ attempt to rectify this is best encapsulated in this portion of the article:
After three days here, I can tell you the vast majority of Patriot Camp was harmless. But on the few occasions it wasn’t all dodgeball and kiddie-pooling, it really, really wasn’t. And in those moments, the fact that this was a camp for little kids never stopped being, to use Beck’s word, disturbing.
These are only a few of the highlights from the article. The entire thing can be read here. Not surprisingly, the overall picture isn’t favorable. But considering that Bans admits going in with a bias, would one expect it to be?
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Comments (75)
lothlorien
Posted on October 9, 2012 at 12:16pmWhere do I sign up my granddaughter for this camp?
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Oneirishman
Posted on October 9, 2012 at 12:45pm@LOTHLORIEN
LOL made my day!
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The912Project
Posted on October 9, 2012 at 2:22pmvisit our website for details on putting a camp on in your community. http://www.constitutionalchampions.org
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The912Project
Posted on October 9, 2012 at 2:33pmGo to constitutionalchampions.org to get more details on how to put a camp on in your community. We can also see if there is one in close to you. Contact us thru the site. Thank you!
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The_Cabrito_Goat
Posted on October 9, 2012 at 2:58pmThis story has a commanding hold of the facts. What a victory. Keep up the great work, the blaze!
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JQuentinEvermann
Posted on October 9, 2012 at 3:55pmMeanwhile, inner-city youth are killing each other by the dozen every day, and the lack of supervision is blamed. So which is it? If this country is allowed to have the “Obama Youth”, how can a camp that teaches kids the underlying principles of this country be dismissed as radical or right-wing?
Let them say what they want, but these kids will grow up to be something besides a warning to others.
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Mulder1
Posted on October 9, 2012 at 5:29pmAnother example of liberal bias in the media. Imagine what an expose of a liberal camp for kids would show.
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sixtysix
Posted on October 9, 2012 at 7:40pmMs. Bans should have attended the camp before she became indoctrinated by the left. I feel sorry for her. She probably thinks she is amusing. But, it is impossible for a lib to be amusing since they never seem to have a sense of humor. It is obvious she went to the camp with preconceived ideas and was determined not to be fair in her coverage of the camp’s goals.
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encinom
Posted on October 9, 2012 at 8:40pmOh look a Hitler..er…I mean Beck Youth Camp.
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Git-R-Done
Posted on October 9, 2012 at 11:08pmEncinom – Better than the Soviet Youth camps that you support. At least those children will grow up appreciating this country unlike you Marxists.
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BasketFullOfPuppies
Posted on October 9, 2012 at 12:14pmHow can someone with a bias, legitimately call themselves a journalist or reporter? This person is a commentator and is giving her opinion, which brings to mind:
When I need legal advice, I go to a lawyer.
When I need medical advice, I go to a doctor.
When I need automotive advice, I go to a mechanic.
Why would I need an opinion? I already have my own.
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fgbouman
Posted on October 9, 2012 at 4:58pmThis is simply a pathetic attempt at gonzo journalism a la Hunter Thompson. It isn’t objective reporting as the author quite readily admits to the reader. Still, so long as opinion is separated from fact clearly labelled in that way, we’re not in any danger. This is very different from labeling a blastula a “person” or claiming that dinosaurs and humans were contemporaries, etc. and calling it “fact.”
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loveliberty83
Posted on October 9, 2012 at 12:12pmthey all hate Christians, they are as bad as henry the eight who chopped off your head if you did not believ he was the head of the church, that is why freedom of religion was put in 7 the haters today have no idea about history
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ModerationIsBest
Posted on October 9, 2012 at 8:46pmYea, they’re JUST as bad as someone who would murder someone else.
You’re a psycho.
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loveliberty83
Posted on October 9, 2012 at 12:03pmi am proud of being an American, don’t care what nationality a person is , give credit to all we are so blessed to have learned so much about the great outdoors of America by the Indians, they taught the first Americans to survive in this country without the things they had in Europe, they learned trading trapping, making rafts so much I think we should have more written about how they helped build America. They the quiet people have been treated the worse in this country 7 some of them were used as slaves just like there were white slaves
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An_American_Thinker
Posted on October 9, 2012 at 12:00pmGlenn Beck’s doing a great job as evidenced by this reporter’s inability to write a truly unbiased article without constantly reminding the reader that Glenn Beck helped fund the camp!
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The912Project
Posted on October 9, 2012 at 2:38pmConstitutionalchampions.org was started by others. Glenn Beck donated in support of the organization. Yvonne Donnelly started the organization with her life savings after seeing the need to educate our children on American History and Patriotism. Three great women from PA wrote the handbook after looking for such a camp to send their kids too. You can purchase the handbook to put one on in your community!
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gregjackie1
Posted on October 9, 2012 at 11:49amI can tell this lady is lying through her teeth. All one has to do is look no further than the left wing tweets calling Mitt Romney’s demise, put in a nice way. Also, when someone starts out by saying, To be completely honest, they are usually trying to make someone believe the lies they are telling.
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22AUTOMATIC
Posted on October 9, 2012 at 3:20pmIn comparison to this idiot in the GQ article see what Planned Parenthood is teaching TEN YEAR OLDS! Children’s books showing sex acts, videos of naked children, all in the name of building more future business for Planned Parenthood. (sex toys, abortions on demand, birth control, big $$$$ for them) It is just like drug pushing or cigarette selling to little kids to get them hooked for life. Note: The videos are graphic and repulsive.
http://youtu.be/j7XR9yH2ETk
http://www.theblaze.com/stories/hooking-kids-on-sex-graphic-new-vid-report-shows-how-planned-parenthood-is-creating-future-customers/
Now compare that trash to the “outrage” over the camp mentioned in the GQ article. “and in the end days they will call good evil and evil good.”
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woodyee
Posted on October 9, 2012 at 11:47am@ VAMAN –
Define “extremist”, in context with this children’s camp.
Define “radical Christianity”, in context with this children’s camp.
Describe “teachings that permeate dislike for others, but justify it with some random biblical quotations.”
Identify the “random biblical quotations” you speak of.
It is VERY likely, that when you said “The kids just regurgitate what mommy and daddy say and do.”, you were referencing yourself, your mommy and daddy being whoever infuses you with the indefensible crap you just spouted in your post. You know NOTHING of this camp save for what you just read about it, written by someone with a view obviously slanted against it. Your post would have been more truthful had you posted the same about public schools in general.
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DesdemonasCrew
Posted on October 9, 2012 at 11:36amGod forbid we teach our children values contrary to what they will get at a huge cost when they enter school. And if you want them thorougly mush brained, spend an extra 50-100K and send them to college. Then they think like this liberal moron.
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elosogrande
Posted on October 9, 2012 at 11:36amBans sees a multitude of problems with this indoctrination camp, but what does she think of the liberal indoctrination camp that kids are forced to attend every day? Public school teachers ram their political adgenda down our kids throats on a daily basis – at The Taxpayers expense. They spend an inordinate amount of time telling our kids how bad America is, and how irrelevant our Constitution is.
What does Ms. Bans, who evidently has a lot of distain for “butchie lesbians”, think we should do to make our schools more friendly toward American values?
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vaman
Posted on October 9, 2012 at 11:34amThis story is evidently biased and I can only hope the writer has some sense of honor and is telling some truths. It is a camp with funding and support from Beck, meaning it is going to be extremist, with a strong basis on radical christianity and teachings that permeate dislike for others, but justify it with some random biblical quotations. It’s far more creepy because this is directed at children. Kids drawing aborted fetuses is likely. The parents probably talk about it all the time, maybe even showed their children pictures of dead babies. The kids just regurgitate what mommy and daddy say and do. The assassination part is also probably true to some extent. Again, children repeating what their parents have said hundreds of times. Very disturbing.
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TAXEVERYONE
Posted on October 9, 2012 at 1:28pmWhy is a woman writing for GQ?
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The912Project
Posted on October 9, 2012 at 2:54pmVaman, she has no honor. Lauren Bans misrepresented our camp. She is a typical hate spewing Progessive. Lauren’s goal was to connect Glenn Beck to this camp and trash it even prior to writing the aricle. Glenn gave a donation in support of the camp. Patriot Camp is about teaching our children American History and Patriotism. Sad that people have to find fault with this or make it political.
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sta
Posted on October 9, 2012 at 11:33amI want to send my kids there!
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woodyee
Posted on October 9, 2012 at 11:19amLeftists have few uses for children. Very few:
1. Abortion
2. Indoctrination
3. Sound bytes (singing Barack Hussein Obama, Mm.Mm.MM!)
4. Armed rebels
5. Domestic political cannon fodder (see Lauren Bans)
6. Semi-armed rebels (ows/blackbloc)
7. Political and financial slavery
8. International political cannon fodder (see Korea, Vietnam, Afghanistan, Libya, Egypt)
9. Anti-American, pro-PUBLIC union protests (BIG difference between public and private unions, one that needs no explanation to young and old conservative minds).
Have at it!
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biohazard23
Posted on October 9, 2012 at 11:13amWhat’s GQ?
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Balthazor
Posted on October 9, 2012 at 10:57amI’m going to guess that in the mind of Lauren Ban, a young girl drawing a picture of an abortion is MUCH more disturbing than that same young girl actually getting an abortion.
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The912Project
Posted on October 9, 2012 at 3:38pmBalthazor! You are spot on. So sad put true. Our camp is an opportunity for teachable moments. The group that put the camp on made a decision to include a pro-life speaker, it is not a part of our curriculum. Our handbook is a blueprint for individuals and groups to put a Patriot Camp on in thier communities. Each group can make thier own decisions about adding extra information. It’s that weird concept called Freedom!
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solomon
Posted on October 9, 2012 at 10:57amWhy aren’t my posts showing?
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AlwaysAmazed
Posted on October 9, 2012 at 11:48am@SOL
I had the same problem. Scroll to bottom right of the page and click on ‘Site Support.’
Ask them. I did. I think they fixed me up. If they did, my response will show up soon. THIS IS ANOTHER TEST. Good luck…
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solomon
Posted on October 9, 2012 at 10:55amWhat?
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bdandsl
Posted on October 9, 2012 at 10:55amGod bless Lauren Bans.
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sta
Posted on October 9, 2012 at 11:28amYes, Bless her heart. And may her heart be turned as well.
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solomon
Posted on October 9, 2012 at 10:55amWho is this freak?
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Mahtoska
Posted on October 9, 2012 at 10:54amThe kids need to learn about the Constitution somewhere; they’re never gonna learn about it in public school. As for the journalist about whom this article is written…. what do you expect? really? Is anybody surprised? The journalists are of the very same ilk that turned Tory during the American Revolution; they have no concept of liberty and the sacrifices it takes to maintain it.
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angelcat
Posted on October 9, 2012 at 11:28amJust a minute! I taught for 30 years, most of it 5th grade which is the year kids learn American history. I taught the Constitution – a whole unit. We studied how and why it was written, each of the articles and each of the amendments, discussed them and took a test of them that I expect many adults couldn’t pass, but most of my students did. I even read to them Limbaugh senior’s speech on the signers of the Declaration of Independence and the hardships they encountered before and after signing it. I can also truthfully say that the other 5th grade teachers taught the unit also, and no, they didn’t put a liberal spin on it. So it IS possible for kids to learn about the Constitution in school if they have the right teachers.
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sta
Posted on October 9, 2012 at 11:36amAngelcat- I’m sure you are a wonderful teacher, but take it from someone who works with the local schools, kids of today know about recycling and saving the planet. The Constitution, not so much.
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angelcat
Posted on October 9, 2012 at 12:09pmSta, I just stopped teaching a few years ago and I still sub. My teacher friends at the school where I worked still teach the Constitution as I did, thank goodness. Of course that is only one school.
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nmrls
Posted on October 9, 2012 at 1:21pmI know kids who barely learn anything about American History. They only time they do is when they sign up for the special history or government classes in high-school.
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Carlinpa
Posted on October 9, 2012 at 10:53amRE”“disturbing” pro-life” That statement tells you all you need to know about the left, aka, Slave owners, racist, anti woman , KKK , eugenics. No human being would refer to respecting life of a innocent human being as “disturbing”
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COFemale
Posted on October 9, 2012 at 10:52amWould you really believe this woman’s story? She is already going in biased. As far as the little girl drawing a mother crying with a dead baby, lets say that is true. Did it ever occur to this nincompoop that it could be the girls mother who lost a baby recently and not due to an abortion? I find nothing disturbing about the drawing other than this little girl is internalizing what happened to her mother or friend if this is the case. I don’t know and neither does this woman.
As for the blurt “assassination”, I really doubt that is what they said. I do not know of any kid that would blurt that out and even if they did, I would hope the adult in the room would quickly correct the children that is not how to solve issues. If not, then an investigation should ensue.
Frankly, I think she is too bias to make a judgement call. I call her story bogus and exaggerated.
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RJJinGadsden
Posted on October 9, 2012 at 10:51amJust how shallow and vacant can one get when it regards others enjoying themselves. As somebody else already mentioned, stay away if it’s not your thing. Another note, Crayola bowed to liberal demands years ago and stopped producing ‘flesh’ color. I really wonder if this author can explain the actual simplicity of the Pythagorean theorem? Any construction working carpenter worth his tool belt can explain it, and probably uses it almost on a daily basis. Most often when doing lay outs.
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noslave
Posted on October 9, 2012 at 10:49amhey liberals force your kids into indoctrination camps called PUBLIC SCHOOLS??are they afraid some are getting away??
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Landon410
Posted on October 9, 2012 at 10:45amdon’t like it, don’t send your kids there….
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EqualJustice
Posted on October 9, 2012 at 10:44amOH, but indoctrinating kids from Sesame Street up to progressive LEADERSHIP roles is ok? I think not! http://www.progressiveleaders.org/resources/programs.htm
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