13 Things Joe Biden Is NOT ALLOWED to Say at Tonight’s Debate
Watch Thursday’s vice presidential debate live on TheBlaze TV and get instant reaction and analysis immediately after from the “Real News From TheBlaze” team. It all starts at 9pm ET. Get the details here.
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Polls show that expectations are not high for Joe Biden in tonight’s much-anticipated VP debate. Based on Biden’s propensity to wax offensive, all can be sure that team Obama has worked overtime to reduce the chances of a classic Biden gaffe. Even Obama campaign spokesperson Robert Gibbs says the campaign has attempted to “soften” Biden’s rhetoric. Here is the unsubstantiated report (read: this is fictional) on what Biden is not allowed to say, or do, in the debate.
1. Swear
The Vice President never served in the Navy, but he does swear like a sailor. Most notably saying “This is a big fu**ing deal” after the administrations passage of Obamacare. There will most likely be bleep button ready during the live debate.
“This is a big fu***ng deal!” –Joe Biden, caught on an open mic congratulating President Barack Obama during the health care signing ceremony, Washington, D.C., March 23, 2010
“An hour late, oh give me a f**king break.” –Joe Biden, caught on a live mic speaking to a former Senate colleague after arriving on Amtrak at Union Station in Washington, D.C., March 13, 2009
source-article.wn.com
2. Put People In Chains
Biden is not allowed to use any “slavery”reference in the debates, like he did in August.
“Look at what they [Republicans] value, and look at their budget. And look what they’re proposing. [Romney] said in the first 100 days, he’s going to let the big banks write their own rules — unchain Wall Street. They’re going to put y’all back in chains.” –Joe Biden, speaking to a largely African-American audience in Danville, Va., Aug. 14, 2012
source-hpronline.org
3. Highly Sexual References
Our VP has a tendency for the double entendre. Dont believe me?
“Folks, I can tell you I’ve known eight presidents, three of them intimately.” –Joe Biden, Aug. 22, 2012
“I promise you, the president has a big stick. I promise you.” –Joe Biden, citing Theodore Roosevelt’s famous quote, “Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far.” (April 26, 2012)
source-hpronline.org
4. Declaring Himself President
Joe Biden has run for president three times in the last 20 years. It must be confusing to have come so close.
“My mother believed and my father believed that if I wanted to be president of the United States, I could be, I could be Vice President!” –Joe Biden, campaigning in Youngstown, Ohio, May 16, 2012
source-weaselzippers.us/
5. Not Being Exactly Sure Who Is Dead and Who Is Alive
These details are important to a (mostly living) voting population.
“His mom lived in Long Island for ten years or so. God rest her soul. And- although, she’s- wait- your mom’s still- your mom’s still alive. Your dad passed. God bless her soul.” –Joe Biden, on the mother of Irish Prime Minister Brian Cowen, who is very much alive, Washington, D.C., March 17, 2010
source-www.sott.net
6. Begin Widespread Panic
Never a good strategy.
“I wouldn’t go anywhere in confined places now. … When one person sneezes it goes all the way through the aircraft. That’s me. I would not be, at this point, if they had another way of transportation, suggesting they ride the subway.” –Joe Biden, providing handy tips to protect against the swine flu and freaking us out, “Today Show” interview, April 30, 2009
source-footagenotfound.tumblr.com
7. Racism
Never really a winner these days.
“You cannot go to a 7-11 or a Dunkin’ Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent…. I’m not joking.” –Joe Biden, in a private remark to an Indian-American man caught on C-SPAN, June, 2006
source-www.theblaze.com
8. Make a Potty Joke
“A successful dump!” –Joe Biden, explaining his whereabouts (dropping deadwood at the dump) to the reporters outside his home, Wilmington, Del., Aug. 20, 2008
source-madmikesamerica.com
9. Count/ Spell
These things can get confusing.
“Look, John’s last-minute economic plan does nothing to tackle the number-one job facing the middle class, and it happens to be, as Barack says, a three-letter word: jobs. J-O-B-S, jobs.” –Joe Biden, Athens, Ohio, Oct. 15, 2008
source-www.theblaze.com
10. Insult the Supreme Court
Especially since they have helped out the BFD.
“Am I doing this again? For the senior staff? My memory is not as good as Chief Justice Roberts’.” –Joe Biden, mocking Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts’ botched effort to swear in Barack Obama as Biden was set to swear in White House senior staff one day after the Inauguration snafu, Washington, D.C., Jan. 21, 2009
“Jill and I had the great honor of standing on that stage, looking across at one of the great justices, Justice Stewart.” –Joe Biden, mistakenly referring to Justice John Paul Stevens, who swore him in as vice president, Washington, D.C., Jan. 20, 2009
source-slate.com
11. Say Any of This About President Obama
I mean, he is your boss.
“A man I’m proud to call my friend. A man who will be the next President of the United States — Barack America!” –Joe Biden, at his first campaign rally with Barack Obama after being announced as his running mate, Springfield, Ill., Aug. 23, 2008
“I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, that’s a storybook, man.” –Joe Biden, referring to Barack Obama at the beginning of the 2008 Democratic primary campaign, Jan. 31, 2007
source-weaselzippers.us/
12. Say This About the Administration
60% of the time, it works every time.
“If we do everything right, if we do it with absolute certainty, there’s still a 30% chance we’re going to get it wrong.” –Joe Biden, speaking to members of the House Democratic caucus who were gathered in Williamsburg, Va., for their annual retreat, Feb. 6, 2009
source-weaselzippers.us/
13. Say This About Himself
Hey, at least he’s humble.
”Hillary Clinton is as qualified or more qualified than I am to be vice president of the United States of America. Quite frankly, it might have been a better pick than me.” –Joe Biden, speaking at a town hall meeting in Nashua, New Hampshire, Sept. 10, 2008
source-xfinity.comcast.net
Follow Benny Johnson on Twitter.
All quotes credited to Bidenisms on About.com.
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Comments (191)
RJJinGadsden
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 12:28pmThis is a list of the topics that Ryan should bring up!
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OutOfTheAether
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 12:39pm“If we do everything right, if we do it with absolute certainty, there’s still a 30% chance we’re going to get it wrong.” –Joe Biden, speaking to members of the House Democratic caucus who were gathered in Williamsburg, Va., for their annual retreat, Feb. 6, 2009
HUH?
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Gold Coin & Economic News
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 12:55pmThat’s a tall order for Joe. He can’t drink either. Boy this is going to be fun watching Ryan shred BIden to pieces:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPKWvP_LUtY
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CatB
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 1:01pmGet your VP Drinking game here ….
http://www.debatedrinking.com/
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The_Cabrito_Goat
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 1:10pmThe picture for #7 is priceless.
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MONICNE
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 1:41pmVice President Biden’s son recently returned from Iraq. I wish Paul Ryan had a connection – ANY connection – to counter that. Ryan needs to put the final coffin nails in place tonight. he has to use the tactics and strength of Allen West.
West knows he has to crush the enemy with total dominance and clear eyed decisiveness. Go ankle deep in blood and get your knuckles bloodied. No mercy. No pity. Just win at all cost.
Hang on, be PATIENT and stay the course. Ronald Reagan said, “Press on.” Pray they put this ship called America on its righteous course to freedom.
Romney-Ryan 2012-2019, then Sarah Palin/Allen West 2020! And Beyond!
God Bless America
Wear Those Jump Wings High
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AvengerK
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 2:17pmYou know ENCINOM/MONICNE/SLEAZY HIPPO/ad nauseum? For someone who pretends they were in the service you sure do have a problem with West saving his men from an ambush in Iraq don’t you little fella?
Perhaps you apply Obama’s “doing their fair share” axiom to your imaginary stint in the service whereby you expected others to die while you politicized their deaths? It’s for the ideology and the party of course and those are noble and lofty virtues for you lefties are they not?
Oh I know what it is….you’re approaching West’s saving his men’s lives in Iraq the same way Obama approached the embassy in Benghazi? That is to say…politics and appearances take precedence over the actual lives that needed protecting at the time. N’est pas MONICNE/ENCINOM.
By the way that’s so clever the way you reversed the spelling of your screennames so you could pretend to be two different people. In you , the left clearly has a mental giant working for it.
Your unhinged drive-by posts are getting more so MONICNE/ENCINOM/SLEAZY HIPPO/ad nauseum. You claim to be a 60 year old woman when you’re posting as MONICNE..perhaps you should consult your physician soon about looking into the possibility that you may be entering the first stages of dementia?
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2MINUTESTOMIDNIGHT
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 2:19pmJust curious – Does anyone know if Biden will be sitting in the lap of a biker chick during the debate?
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walkintruth
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 2:39pmLet’s hope Joe will be Joe tonight. He is the gift that keeps on giving!
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Freebird
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 2:56pmDoes anyone else question the scheduling of this debate?Notice last weeks debate was on a night when there wasn’t much else on.Looking at what’s on-tap for tonight,sports-wise;
NFL Thursday Night Game
WNBA Playoff Game
ALDS Playoff Game
4)count-em,4)College Football Games
I’ll bet y’all two things,
1)Joe hopes most Americans are sports fans and won’t bother to tune-into his meltdown tonight against Ryan
2)Ole’ Joe is wishin he was debating Big Bird instead of Paul Ryan,although,Big Bird would wipe the floor with him too
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TRVTH
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 3:17pmHis error here was if they did everything they wanted to do, there is a 100% chance of failure, at least failure, of the economy to recover, our nation to be safe, our borders secure, and our lives be free of senseless regulation.
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ChildOfTheKing
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 4:11pmWow. Biden fits well into the last photo above, with all those characters. I can’t tell who is who.
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Twinspeedr
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 4:41pmThey left out his most recent (and funniest, I think) “Highly Sexual Reference”:
“You think I’m joking… they’re almost all gymnasts… the stuff they do on hard wood; it blows my mind.”
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RoboCop
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 6:51pmWhat’s left? They might as well send an empty chair…knowing the Dem’s, if they did, Joe might win. I am surprised no one ever brings up the fact Biden has had a major stroke. His actions are very typical of other stroke victims I have had to deal with in my life.
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MONICNE
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 6:53pmWhat is it you do not understand about the word, “opposite,” my whiny joKer paranoid friend? Is it spelt differently whilst you bleat off in Brisbane? LOL
T-E-A is stronger than G-O-P
USD 1,200.00 overdraft
encinomonice all caps
sh13478it00f9a66ceAK
pay thursday awestusa/uk
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sillyfreshness
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 9:07pmJoe Biden=what happens when you let a clown “off da chain.”
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RamonPreston
Posted on October 12, 2012 at 6:49am1.) RFID implants as part of Obamacare. Required by March 23, 2013.
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AvengerK
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 12:28pmBiden will behave himself just like he did against Palin. He wont’ launch into his “this is deadly man..this is deadly earnist” mode. Biden is the epitome of a democrat apparatchik..he will be a good little soldier for the party and for his boss. But in being so rigid and bland he will also allow Ryan to do what Ryan does best..explain and speak.
Ryan is immune to the “rich guy” attacks Biden likes to launch. Biden will go for Ryan’s budget, the 47% and Bain and try to make it all stick to Ryan and Romney. But scare tactics are not what the electorate want..they want explanations and solutions…something Biden is desperately in short supply of. This is why Ryan has the debate sown up.
Worse yet for Obama…Ryan’s likability will further cement Romney’s progress from the last debate and convince fence sitters that Romney and Ryan are a good choice.
Nothing Biden can do short of a miracle can help Obama.
Imagine…having to rely on Biden to save your job?…LOL.
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Copper Catfish
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 12:35pmBiden DROOLED when Sarah Palin winked at him.
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AvengerK
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 12:41pmIn my rush to type my post I fudged plugs’ line. It should read: “This is deadly earnest man…this is deadly earnest”.
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MEANS2RESIST
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 1:12pmJill Biden is a classy lady & very cute. What the hell is she doing with this schlubb?
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chips1
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 2:39pmMEAN:
It pays better than pole dancing.
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Strange_Paradox
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 4:14pmI’m not so sure he will be able to contain himself this time – he was asked by reporters if he was going to do the “rope a dope” with Ryan and his reply was “when have you ever seen me not throw a punch.” I think Biden’s arrogance is larger than Obama’s. And he
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guns-an-bibles
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 5:14pmAvengerK
Imagine…having to rely on Biden to save your job? OMG I would be scared! “DOOMED”
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BSdetector
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 12:27pmAnd this doofus is second in line after the Traitor.
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OutOfTheAether
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 12:44pmwhich is why I PRAY each day that the Secret Service keep Obama safe. Only thing worse that have O for President would be having B for one. man oh man
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CatB
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 1:03pmI don’t see how Biteme could be worse than Obama … They are both disasters.
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lbutler528
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 12:27pmHow about, “I built this.”
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nana35
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 8:20pmHow about thinking about the third in line and that makes me sick too. the three of them needs to go back to school or to the old folks home. I can’t stand to look at Nancy P’s and Obama’s face and poor old Joe has lost it.
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Eastinfection
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 12:24pm#16 COMPLIMENT THE AUDIENCE
”I guess what I’m trying to say without boring you too long at breakfast–and you all look dull as hell, I might add. The dullest audience I have ever spoken to. Just sitting there, staring at me. Pretend you like me!”
—Joe Biden
(speaking to a group of Turkish-American and Azerbaijani-American donors, April 27, 2012)
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AmericanStrega
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 12:23pmBiden:
The Gift that just keeps on giving.
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GumRock
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 2:00pmJoe’s been in dry dock for days , ” Brushing up on his Skill’s ” for the debate.
Watch for signs of D.T’s, shakings hands and Agitation.
I know they clam he don’t drink. But come on. When would I ever believe anything they say
I’m better off believing the opposite.
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RodT82721
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 12:21pmIMHO the debate isn’t about Joe, everyone knows he’s dumber then a box of rocks. He has spent 40 years on the govt payroll, riding Amtrak to and from Mom’s home.
This debate will be about the leftist moderator, playing the roll of savior for the Obama campaign. It’s going to be a blast to watch the antics to help poor old Joe, get by.
I hope Paul, or one of the plants in the audience, ask sheriff Joe, just what really happened to all that stimulus money he was put in charge of watching for the tax payers.
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WashingtheBrainWashed
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 12:29pmWhat happened to the stimulus money? You mean 1/3 of which was TAX CUTS?!
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Ronko
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 12:35pmRyan’s still going to destroy Biden, even with a bad moderator.
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Herrmadl
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 12:38pmLets not forget the millions that they LOST ! Can’t find it ! Don’t know where I put that money! mmmm!
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ambrosia
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 1:04pmAin’t no way,
this big Dope os gonna win
or for that matter….even place second in this debate.
“Bazooka Joe” should just show up tonight to entertain us-
that’s what he does best,
by trying to take a serious stand-
he ends up being rolling-on-the-floor stupidly funny.
I say,
every time the Big Bazooka is asked a question-
he should STARE right into the camera at the American people
and do a verse of “My Way”
and another….and another….and another…..
America’s put up with a lot from Bazooka & his boss these past 4 years,
we need to grab every opportunity to laugh when we can
and ole’ Joe doesn’t have anything else to do-
let him entertain the taxpayers who pay his room & board,
even if it is at his professional expense.
Oblameo & Biden are both ‘Bunglers” of one sort of another-
hopefully, Nov. 6th WE can all serenade them with “Who’s SORRY now” ?
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williemcd
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 3:43pmRod.. Scrutiny will be on the moderator just as much as on Joe Gaffe. The public is aware of the bias of CNN and will pounce on any irregularities.
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Exidor
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 12:21pmI love the photos in this article. Made it even funnier!
Those are great…..
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Rational Man
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 12:39pmI like them too. But if it was Romney or Ryan in the pics, there would be outrage at showing “unflattering” pics. At least by The Blazers. (See recent articles on the subject)
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Annapurna
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 6:10pmAnd not a one of them falsely depicts a little girl’s surprise at seeing a man’s butt ahead of her, that the Lamestream media presents as “news”.
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texasderek
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 12:19pmBiden looks so much like Jeff Dunham’s “Walter”… it is just absolutely spooky.
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RJJinGadsden
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 12:32pmYeah, but at least Walter is not that dumb, and speaks with more articulation.
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Herrmadl
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 12:39pmIf Biden is Walter, who does that make Obama !
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RJJinGadsden
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 9:33pmHERRMADL, Uh, Sweet Daddy Dee?
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woodyee
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 12:19pmABC’s Martha Raddatz will be moderating tonights VP debate. Raddatz and her former husband hosted President Obama at their wedding more than 20 years ago, ABC News confirmed Wednesday. But of course, there is no conflict of interest here, right?
Would you be surprised if the lame-stream media does a voice-over every time RYAN speaks?
Raddatz begins – “Erah, Congressman Ryan, what is your position on abortion, with regards to a woman’s right to choose?”
Then she presses a button and as his mouth moves, what you here is “I think all babies should be thrown in a top-loading washing machine, then tossed out with the bath water.”
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Herrmadl
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 12:35pmI can not believe that they would go for that one. Yeh, no conflict there, I expect him to be cut off at every point while Obiden runs his mouth saying much of nothing, much like the POTUS did.
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Snowleopard {gallery of cat folks}
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 12:17pmWe shall see what happens, somehow I think the moderator will softball Biden and slam Romney as hard as she can at each and every turn.
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Rillobymorning
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 4:39pmNot to worry, Snow. Ryan’s still going to be the smartest man in the room. He’s got this.
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JoeInAlbany
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 12:17pmJoe Biden – the gift that keeps on giving….
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Ronko
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 12:35pmRepublican’s secret weapon since 2008
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Detroit paperboy
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 12:16pmForgot to mention, tell paraplegics to stand up and take a bow……..
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Oneirishman
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 12:16pmCan he start ever answer with “here pull my finger?”
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Eastinfection
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 12:14pm#15 TEACH HISTORY
“When the stock market crashed, Franklin Roosevelt got on the television and didn’t just talk about the princes of greed. He said, “look, here’s what happened.”…”
-Joe Biden
(In interview with CBS News, September 2008. However, Roosevelt wasn’t president in 1929 and televisions were still experimental.)
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MittensKittens
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 12:13pmNow that’s funny, there should be one more…he’s not allowed to show up!
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Eastinfection
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 12:12pm#14 PUBLICLY TAUNT CRIPPLES
“Uh, uh, Chuck Graham, state senator, is here. Stand up, Chuck, let ‘em see you. Oh, God love you. What am I talking about.”
-Joe Biden
(To wheelchair-bound Missouri state senator, Charles Graham, September 9, 2008)
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dublinthewagons
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 12:11pmHe is allowed to just stand there and look stupid like Obama did.
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Oneirishman
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 5:15pmDude any chance you coached Ryan this week!
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Exrepublisheep
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 12:11pmFunny how the guy in the fake oval office is saying what can’t be said.
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M13
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 1:41pmI didn’t know Obamas office was fake.
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RightThinking1
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 12:11pmObama’s last-minute debate advice to Joe:
“Just remember Joe, you is kind, you is smart, you is important.”
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darkeningskies
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 3:51pmimportant?
I would say impotent is more like it
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Gonzo
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 12:09pmCan he command the paraplegics to walk at least?
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floridareader
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 12:06pmThen he is going to be mute!
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howltothemoon
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 12:13pmMy thoughts, too. In honor of Time Magazine publishing Ryan’s buff workout photos, maybe they can arm wrestle instead.
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guns-an-bibles
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 5:37pmThey should at least tie his wrists to his ankles and put duct tape on his mouth… He’ll do perfect!
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kickagrandma
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 12:06pmThey’d do well to lock him up and put him in a closet somewhere, forever.
HOWEVER,
WE THE PEOPLE do well because they let him out.
Countin’ on you, joe, to finish the job your boss started!
What do you want to bet the rest of the debates are “called” after tonight.
Want to start a list of excuses?
1. Early and prolonged t time.
2.
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Oneirishman
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 12:19pm2). Busy focusing on jobs, like a laser.
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Herrmadl
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 12:29pminstant replay, no need to watch after tonight Ryan is gonna kick his @$$
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NHwinter
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 12:52pm3) we are on the brink of war with protestors in Libya
4) I have scheduled a golf game I can’t miss
5) I miss our anniversary because of the last debate, so I’ve promised Michelle I’d take her to a Broadway play in NY.
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girlnurse
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 1:11pmFalse flag attacks?
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Thundermeister
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 12:06pmIt’s simply mind boggling to imagine the number of people, who, both like, and will vote for this maroon.
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Herrmadl
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 12:32pmYEP ! No matter how much proof you give them, they will ignore it. Say it isn’t so, I have argued and proven my pont repeatedetly and they STILL say it is all a lie! I hope we can get enought votes to get him out, I guess this is the 47% Romney was talking about, I hope it is much lower than that ! Now that is spooky ! ! ! !
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Tri-ox
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 12:06pmUh – that doesn’t leave Crazy Uncle Joe with much to say.
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Gonzo
Posted on October 11, 2012 at 4:54pmExactly, he’ll ignore all advice though. He’s one of those bufoons that just cant shut his mouth when you stick a mic in front of him….hilarity ensues.
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