Wife of General Facing Sex Crime Charges Laments ‘Open-Ended War’ for Wrecking Marriages

(Photo: AP)
Amid the ever-developing story of former CIA Director General David Petraeus’ affair and General John Allen’s potential involvement, another general’s scandal has flown relatively under the radar.
Brig. Gen. Jeffrey Sinclair was sent home from Afghanistan in late September on a litany of charges, including forcible sodomy, possessing pornography and alcohol while deployed, engaging in inappropriate relationships, and misusing a government charge card.
Now, Rebecca Sinclair is defending her husband in an op-ed blaming “open-ended” war for what she admits is unacceptable behavior. However, while Sinclair is aware her husband was having an affair, she believes the more disturbing allegations will be dropped.
She explains, via the Washington Post:
Spectators will try to make this scandal about many things: the arrogance of powerful men; conniving mistresses; the silent epidemic of sexual assault in the armed services. But these explanations obscure an underlying problem: the devastating influence of an open-ended war — now in its 11th year — on the families of U.S. service members.
Let me first address the elephant in the room. My husband had an affair. He violated our marriage vows and hurt me tremendously. Jeff and I are working on our marriage, but that’s our business.
Jeff also needs to answer to the Army. That is his business, not mine, and he accepts that. I believe in and support him as much as ever.
I wish I could say that my husband was the only officer or soldier who has been unfaithful. Since 2001, the stress of war has led many service members to engage in tremendously self-destructive behavior. The officer corps is plagued by leaders abandoning their families and forging new beginnings with other men and women. And many wives know about their husbands’ infidelity but stay silent.
Sinclair notes that many military spouses don’t have any alternatives after finding out a husband or wife was unfaithful. If they leave, they risk losing the financial security of military salary, pension, housing and health benefits.
“Because we move so often, spouses lose years of career advancement,” she said. “Some of us spend every other year as single parents. We are vulnerable emotionally and financially. Many stay silent out of necessity, not natural passivity.”
But Sinclair continued:
None of this is meant to excuse infidelity. I expected more of Jeff, and I think he expected more of himself. But we’re fooling ourselves if we don’t recognize the larger reality. My friends who are married to other combat leaders have been my anchor during this crisis. We understand that our soldiers may come home disfigured or injured in such a way that we will become lifelong caregivers. We also understand that they may not come home at all, and if blessed with a reunion, they may carry emotional baggage few could understand. My friends know that it could have been their heartbreak as much as mine. This is the only time in U.S. history that our nation has fought a decade-long war with a volunteer Army. Doing so has consequences. Nothing good can come of families being chronically separated for a decade or more.
While many in our armed forces represent the best of our nation, Rebecca Sinclair concludes, they are also fallible human beings.
She writes: “How we address this strain will say much about what kind of country we are; it will also determine how stable and strong our military is.”
The Associated Press contributed to this report.
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Comments (95)
GetOuttaMyPocket
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 8:33pmMrs Sinclair states the truth, I appreciate her courage in posting her well written letter. The comment by Delores is also right on – women in combat is not good for our soldiers or our country.
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sailorV
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 8:27pmRebecca Sinclair is smart, compassionate, wise and deserving of a better husband.
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rickc34
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 9:14pmTwo top ranking Generals go down in one week. Funny. What do they have in common. Both have been hanging with the President a bit to much. Bad habits and lack of morals rubs of. Hang out with pigs and you start eatting the same slop. Pick people that have a higher moral standard than yourself to be around and you will stay out of trouble. Sin will keep you from the Bible and the Bible will keep you from sin.
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Walkabout
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 9:55pmHanging with liberals does not do a soul good.
But I think social scientists or anyone with a statistical background could show a correlation between the amount of time away form home & infidelity. Sure there are other factors, but this is one worth studying.
By in the 1800s an Englishman made an observation that the wives of traveling salesmen had a high than normal rate of ******* cancer. Now why would that be I wonder?
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VanceUppercut
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 9:57pm@rickc34
As others have pointed out, everyone involved in the Petraeus scandal, from Petraeus and Broadwell, to Jill Kelly and the shirtless FBI man, are openly conservative. And yet it’s Obama’s fault?
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rickc34
Posted on November 18, 2012 at 12:01amVance- even a good man can be tuned. If you hand out with evil it rubs off on you. Wipe the dust from your shoes. Walkabout- so when is it okay to cheat on your spouse. Resist temptation. A lesser man wwill give into carnel desires and fail. I know even David fell . But his eyes were taken off God . Keep your eyes on the prize. Temptation comes to all of us and bad company do not help. Those social scientist should read their Bible.
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rickc34
Posted on November 18, 2012 at 12:08amVance that should be turned not tuned.
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Detroit paperboy
Posted on November 18, 2012 at 1:53amThank you Rebecca , for having such courage to speak the truth ! May God bless you and you family !!!
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DrKev
Posted on November 18, 2012 at 8:13amsorry I dont see her as courageous. her husband had an afair but for the fact that he was in the military and a general and this is the time to bash the military so that the progresives can make fhrther cuts in the miltary while increwsing every other spending especially in union paying positions like ‘infrastrufture’teafhing’ etc and increasing social programs such as welfare food stams obbamacare his wouldnt even be a story. sorry she is wrong to discuss this because its not qbout the war its abiut her husbands lack of moral fortitude
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grayling646
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 8:25pmStrong woman with a good dose of common sense. The General is lucky to have her. I hope the best for them both and their marriage.
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nzkiwi
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 9:07pmSo do I.
I do have one question, though.
Since when were “possessing [...] alcohol while deployed” and “misusing a government charge card” considered sex crimes?
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DadRocked
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 9:13pmYou know… Ummm… Well… Because….. And…. Ahhh…
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Walkabout
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 10:00pmAlcohol is quite common in the war zone. I bet upwards of 5 to 10% are violating orders, when it come to alcohol.
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reform
Posted on November 18, 2012 at 8:35amMy question is this what happens if there is a male to male or female 2 female and they consider themselves married and they cheat in the military? Is it the same results as with the General?
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Small World
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 8:17pmCheryltucker5 will you stop with that post …so annoying.
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tdaly
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 7:58pmWhat she speaks is the truth. We have friends in the military and this happens more than anyone knows. Lots of it. It’s past time to bring our troops home and let the Islamists Sharia loving freaks fight their own darn wars… they have no problem killing their own so have at it! We need our guys and gals here to protect us from our government and protect our borders.
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QuincySmith
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 8:17pmTdaly;
You may have hit on a reason they are not home.
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Delores at CH WV
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 7:58pmThe officer’s wife forgot to remind us with a warning; women in combat needs to be appealed.
Having women on the front lines is causing big problems in the military lives of both male and females soldiers. Other liberal changes has undermined the moral and cohesiveness between the small groups that have to be alert 24/7. The military is not a social club or a dating service; Or, for women to reach a “glass ceilings”. They are employed to protect our security and freedoms. Along the way, I think that someone has decided to destroy the best trainned personnel in the world. I suggest that the military’s mental health staff seek more research because I think there is more stress on the men, women, and family’s back home allowing women on the front lines.
Women support teams are fine, if monitored; however, there are too many psychological problems then the government is willing to admit with this “political correctness” and “women rights”.
Yet, we are putting our heads in the sand and ignoring the facts; and, we are allowing social behavior to trump good common sense by allowing women on navy submarines and troop ships.
Sleeping on the ground or in a bunk, next to same sex or opposite sex is already a psychologically mental delima for anyone’s mind in a war zone of danger, death, and the need for normal affection to get through the next hour or day. Of course, others will think that I am totally wrong and I need to get with the new world order of
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Wisdom7
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 8:23pmMost civilians don’t understand that. I made a post about what you just said but I guess they didn’t like it. I would say thank Clinton for women on ships and front lines, but when you have high ranking officers like these, what does it matter. They obviously have no honor.
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DR4SOUL
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 9:26pmActually, Delores, you are dead right! Anyone who denies the reality of physiological attraction between male and female when thrown together in close quarters is delusional. Men, who have been away from their wives, their homes and all the technical props that perpetuate fidelity for long periods of time, are prime targets for extra-marital affairs. Without a strong sense of morality and religious commitment, the best of men can find themselves attracted to someone when the chemistry is right. Since our current administration is doing its best to rid the military of those “archaic Biblical absolutes”
like “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” or “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife . . .”, and since they have opened the door to same-sex hook-ups under the guise of “political correctness,” what are we to expect? The biological reality is that men and women will be attracted to each other when forced to work, fight, play and sleep in close proximity to each other. The same is true for those who now feel they are free to act on same-sex attraction not that their commander-in chief’s views have evolved to the point of approval. Who cares that fornication, adultery, homosexuality and other forms of sexual sin are condemned in the Bible. The Apostle Paul addressed these same problems in Romans chapter 1. Truth is that the party of our commander-in-chief has seen fit to endorse the sins so vividly described in this passage of Scripture.
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Max jones
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 11:00pmDRSOUL….Absolutely, dead on post. sir.
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asybot12
Posted on November 18, 2012 at 3:20amIn this segment, delores, wisdom dr4 , thank you for your insight all three of you have added a great amount of substance to this discussion.
As in this P.L.C. world my next comments will probably be laughed of this page.
But for thousands of years women have been an integral part of any army (OH Cr.P did I really say that in the year 2012?). Yep I did the only difference is they did it in ALL of the the most important “non front line” role.
For as long as there have been wars (sadly enough) through history women have been the back bone of all armies , sure the guys did the slugging but the women did the:
feeding,
healing,
protecting the off-spring,
keeping the “home “fires burning, ETC ETC
and MOST off all, for most soldiers their wives and children is what they are fighting for, I am sure that there were times men and women fought side by side.
But I agree that in this day and age single or married ladies can do and be way more effective in non combative roles as long as every-one realizes those roles are just as vital as the guy that pulls the trigger or flies the planes, Lets just talk computers, communications radar tecs etc etc hey today they can even fly drones but the down and dirty , no thanks guys only please! and the guys do not need the distraction of looking out for ladies in a fox hole!
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ConservaTEA
Posted on November 18, 2012 at 10:36pmYou nailed this.
I spent 20 years in the U.S. Navy and watched the changes unfold as we went from men-only on ships to having a full 10-15% of the crew women. To say that sexual politics played a role in everything on-board would be a HUGE UNDERSTATEMENT.
Working in close quarters with only men allowed the crew to focus only on the job at hand which is always dangerous at sea. When women came aboard, guys minds were not nearly as focused on the job at hand and favoritism began to be the rule of the day. Then add a lot more disciplinary actions and you can see how things could go down hill quickly.
The military is NOT a dating service, but with the creep of political-correctness into the military that brought women in combat positions, that’s what it turned out to be. Facebook live. . .
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Noonien_Soong
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 7:57pmNever mind the dalliances of these officers, the overview is that this regime is systematically deconstructing our military one general at a time. Who will be in command of forces if and when strife breaks out within?
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DadRocked
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 9:05pmCommanders that he wants in his army doing his bidding… It’s his prerogative as commander in chief. All lower case letters are intentional. First education, then the people, then thecourts, then the economy, then the military. It is the plan…
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ProudInfidelToo
Posted on November 18, 2012 at 7:45pmLook up The Communist Takeover Of America – 45 Declared Goals. Scary how many of them have already been accomplished.
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freeberty
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 7:46pm“If they leave, they risk losing the financial security of military salary, pension, housing and health benefits.”
Parasites
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charles116
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 8:35pmYou are referring to the Cheneys of course.
These wars were all started to fatten their Halliburton portfolios.
It’s called WAR PROFITEERING, lov.
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DadRocked
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 9:15pmCHARLES116 – Come on, strong allegations but what facts do you base this on? Or just opinions of yours and soundbites that you have obtained?
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Liberty and Common Sense
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 10:51pmHow dare you. The sacrifices that we make as military spouses are completely foreign to 99.5 pct of this country. The parasites are people like you who want something for nothing. If you had any knowledge of the military you would realize that this country relies on spouses for a tremendous amount of free aka volunteer labor. I would rather hear from any military spouse than a lowlife troll who gets jollies from criticizing a woman because they hate the military. You will be singing a different tune when we go back to the draft because our volunteer military is tired of the treatment they get.
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charles116
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 10:52pmThese are my opinions
Cheney was once CEO of Halliburton.
Never gave up his stocks.
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USAMama
Posted on November 18, 2012 at 2:03amIt’s not being a “parasite” when you EARN it. This is his family SALARY and as a family they made a decision on who worked/ didn’t work, raised the kids etc. She has made many, many sacrifices for him I’m sure. If she can’t afford a divorce, and doesn’t want to break up her family so she makes the hard decision to stay in the marriage and work through it who are you to call her names? Sounds to me like she is putting her family first.
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dugbru
Posted on November 18, 2012 at 3:12am@DADROCKED facts??? he doesn’t need facts,he’s a liberal, and it’s all about what he feels…..
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reform
Posted on November 18, 2012 at 8:52amHey 116 do you think if you write enough they will let you out!!!! Is that what they told you, my guess is that they fibbed!!
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ezekiel22
Posted on November 18, 2012 at 8:42pmArmchair moralist are you? I would that you change your moniker to hypocrite. It would fit perfectly.
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MrKnowItAll
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 7:36pmANY Military Wife’s between the ages of 18-35 that want to get even. Don’t Call! If your over 115lbs. Don’t Call. If the Dr. Slapped your Mother. Don’t Call. How about going to get STD Tested? How about another Wife of Satan making Adultery look Acceptable? How about never getting Married, if you think for ANY Reason Adultery is O.K..How about YOU Don’t Call. Like Rush. I Think Slut is a Good First Impression of Adultery Choosing People! Don’t Call. Call Dr. Phil.
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MadAsHeII
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 7:52pmOK Jesus. I guess that is your name since you are so perfect. I mean your name says you know it all and that would fit being Jesus also. Man, what a Narcissist.
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DetritusScreener
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 8:04pmMRKNOWITALL – You really need to have a ‘come to Jesus’ meeting with reality.
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charles116
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 8:36pmThis woman committed no adultery.
Make sense,that all we ask.
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USAMama
Posted on November 18, 2012 at 3:06amYou lost me.
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Ghostrhymer6
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 7:34pmI totaly agree with mrs sinclair and her abilty to see and feel the facts first hand and may GOD BLESS our soldiers and their family and screw Obama and his regime death to tanarcy
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eyestoseeearstohear
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 7:27pmIs this woman honest or WHAT? WOW.
She said the UN-speakable and cut straight to the core of it.
I imagine she just spoke the hearts and thoughts of thousands.
God Bless you Mrs. Sinclair..
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Wisdom7
Posted on November 18, 2012 at 7:42amI’m a veteran. I was deployed a number of times to the Middle East and elsewhere. Not once did I think of committing any of these things.
I hate to say it but any veteran can tell you this behavior started long before 2001. It has always been around in the military. However, it just became worse since we allowed women to take greater roles and placed them all throughout the military and on ships.
This woman, however, is not telling the entire truth. These “military wives” are just as guilty. I don’t think I knew a single married couple in the military that wasn’t cheating. A few of those wives tried it with me but I refused. However, I bet a bunch of guys didn’t. Before anyone thinks it, I am not saying all of them do, but again every single married couple I knew in the military cheated.
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soybomb315_II
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 7:26pmshe must have been a Ron Paul supporter!!! War destroys truth, lives, and families. Perpetual war should be avoided
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Eastinfection
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 8:11pm“We face a hostile ideology global in scope, atheistic in character, ruthless in purpose and insidious in method…” and warned about what he saw as unjustified government spending proposals and continued with a warning that “we must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the military–industrial complex.” -Eisenhower in one of his finer moments.
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mrs.janet.murgatroid
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 7:25pmMadam, your husband should be castrated and then hanged by the neck from the gallows. Next.
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soybomb315_II
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 7:28pmcheating is very common on deployment. Lots of desert princesses in the Air Force and Navy – dunno about Army
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blackyb
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 7:28pmHe should be tried as a traitor for his crimes against another soldier.
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iono12345
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 7:24pmWell that’s all well and good, her opinion, although heart felt and her own percieved truths still does not excuse the action these higher ranking officers or spouses. Where there are a few who cannot control themsleves due to stress there are many that can, so boo hoo you reap what you sow….
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Small World
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 7:23pmSo very sad ! @ http://www.breitbart.com Media declares Libya a non-scandel . Get ready for all he!! to break loose.
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DougHuffman
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 7:19pmTake your sequestration medicine now, bitter though it may be, it will be easier than when the ChiComs jam it down our throats with their members nations.
Good people ought to be armed as they will, with wits and Guns and the Truth. Hope4Change ******* progs
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Eastinfection
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 7:18pmI’ve never understood the concept of “forcible sodomy”…. Beyond the psychopathic nature of such a demand… aren’t the aggressors worried about.. getting chomped?
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progressiveslayer
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 7:28pmI don’t know let’s ask Barry how it works for him.
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ares338
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 7:09pmTo be a General you have to go through Slap and Tickle training! Yee haaw…..
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barber2
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 7:06pmWhere is Harry Truman when you need him ? Trying to win the hearts and minds of Islamic fanatics doesn’t seem to be working. Perhaps a military advantage is our only path to survival. Oh, shucks, let’s just keep trying to be nice to them……
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possom
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 7:05pmBarry’s just pick’em off one by one.
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CatB
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 7:18pmCertainly does look that way doesn’t it .. I seem to remember in history this doesn’t end well … when the regime gets rid of the top military.
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gyro
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 7:19pmthis
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DetritusScreener
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 8:00pmIt is just a ‘general purge’.
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DetritusScreener
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 6:55pmAs a veteran, I can say that Mrs. Sinclair has truly hit the nail on the head as far as military familiy matters go.
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justangry
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 7:02pmAye, there is a lot of infidelity and stress. I think between 3-4 marriages ended after every cruise. Often the spouse has their own troubles during deployments too. PTSD will wreck a marriage too. War just destroys lives. Besides no one can even tell us why we’re still over there.
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freedomisasfreedomdoes
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 6:54pmwow
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chips1
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 6:54pmJeff’s wife is correct, however I don’t see anything being done to the thousands of women that spend their every waking moment trying to get another mark in the success column. Women know they can control men any time they want. Talking about it is a No No. Eve started it. Might even have something to do with that fishy smell.
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Nanaswords
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 6:49pmWOW…….Talk about Opening Up and Telling the Truth !!! Shall we all say…….Thank You !!!
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Eastinfection
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 7:21pmi agree.. that was refreshingly candid.
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SaturdaysWarrior76
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 7:33pmYes, I agree.. and it was beautifully said. This President is taking apart our Military.. as another poster put it: picking the top brass off, one by one. This is deliberate and calculated and we need to stand WITH our Military or we are lost. Jesus Christ is the one who died for ALL of our sins. It is not up to us to judge anyone. Only God knows the whole story and it is up to these men (and women) to repent and get right with the Lord. But that is their business, not ours. We each need to worry about our own side of the street before we judge what the other person is doing on their side of the street.
“Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone.”
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reform
Posted on November 18, 2012 at 8:47amGeneral McCrystal was the first i believe and why was he taken out of his position?
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johnpaulkuchtajr
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 6:48pmAmerica, this is just a scratch on the surface of what will happen if sequestration takes place.
How many Generals and Admirals have we lost just since Benghazi?
The ones who escape Obama’s purge are self-destructing.
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barber2
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 7:13pmJohn: Obama’s Purge is correct. The General ” Be-tray-us ” Crowd seeks their final revenge ( oops, think their phrase for that is now ” social justice ” -wink, wink ) They hate American capitalism, and the American military…hell, they hate America. They didn’t adopt that ” Change ” slogan for nothing. Nor that ” Forward” one either…with or without an honest election…Our New Far Left Ayers’ Chicago Radical Democrats are going FORWARD…. off the financial cliff to chaos. And, hopefully, an impeachment .
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VanceUppercut
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 10:01pm@johnpaulkuchtajr
The sequestration can be blamed on House Republicans (not that your “agenda-free” and “fair and balanced” news sources will ever tell you this):
“During a press conference of House Republican leaders on Wednesday, the list of those whacking the president for failing in one way or another to head off the pending defense cuts was long: House Speaker John Boehner of Ohio, Majority Leader Eric Cantor of Virginia, House Armed Services Committee Chairman Buck McKeon and Mr. Romney’s top liaison to Capitol Hill, Rep. Cathy McMorris Rodgers of Washington.
In the Senate on that same day, two prospects for Romney’s vice presidential slot – Sen. Kelly Ayotte (R) of new Hampshire and Sen. John Thune (R) of South Dakota – lambasted the president and the Senate’s Democratic leadership for a lack of leadership on the issue.
But there’s just one problem with that analysis: With the exception of Senator Ayotte, every member of Congress listed above voted for the legislation that put the sequester into place. And that’s not something that’s lost on some of the GOP’s most conservative members on the Hill.
“When it comes to the issue of sequestration, it’s giving me a bit of a heartburn because those people who are complaining about it were those people who caused it,” said Rep. Jeff Landry (R) of Louisiana on Thursday at a forum with several other conservative members of Congress. “The people who voted to raise the debt ceiling caused
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VanceUppercut
Posted on November 17, 2012 at 10:07pmTo finish my post (which was cut off despite the fact that I was below the character limit):
““When it comes to the issue of sequestration, it’s giving me a bit of a heartburn because those people who are complaining about it were those people who caused it,” said Rep. Jeff Landry (R) of Louisiana on Thursday at a forum with several other conservative members of Congress. “The people who voted to raise the debt ceiling caused the sequestration.”
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