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Afraid She Was ‘Losing’ Him: Slain Mother of CT Shooter Reportedly Said Son Was ‘Getting Worse’ Last Week

Dec. 16, 2012 4:05pm Erica Ritz

Mother Nancy Lanza Feared Son Adam Was Getting Worse Before Connecticut School Shooting

In this handout image provided by ABC News, shows Nancy J. Lanza mother of suspected mass shooter Adam Lanza at an unspecified time and place. (Photo: Getty Images)

Roughly one week before her son went on a deadly shooting rampage at an elementary school in Newtown, Connecticut, Nancy Lanza reportedly told a friend that she feared her always-eccentric son was “getting worse.”

The New York Daily News relates:

A drinking buddy of Lanza told The Daily News that her son Adam had long been troubled and rarely came up in conversation.

“She just looked down at the glass and said, ‘I don’t know. I’m worried I’m losing him,’” said the bar pal, who did not wish to be named, of the ominous conversation at the bar My Place in Newtown, Conn.

“She said it was getting worse. She was having trouble reaching him.”

Nancy Lanza was the first person killed in the attack that claimed 26 other lives at Sandy Hook Elementary.

Officials say she was shot four times in the head, and was discovered in her bed wearing pajamas.

Prior reports indicate that the gunman, Adam Lanza, had a difficult time feeling both emotional and physical pain. Within the past year, he had apparently taken to burning himself repeatedly.

The New York Daily News continues:

“Nancy told me he was burning himself with a lighter. In the ankles or arms or something,” [the friend] recalled of a conversation they had about a year ago. “It was like he was trying to feel something.”

[...]

“It was weird. She never really talked about (Adam),” he said. “She mainly talked about her oldest kid (Ryan). I knew about the other one but she never spoke much about him.

“She looked disturbed. She was looking down at her glass and kind of talking slowly,” he added [of their conversation last week].

Nancy’s morose disposition could not have been more out of character.

“You have to know Nancy to know how weird that was,” he said. “She was just always so full of life.”

As she lamented her son’s deteriorating mental state, the drinking buddy took a phone call. When he started chatting with her again, the subject had changed and Nancy was acting her normal, happy self.

The anonymous pal remembered Nancy as a die-hard Red Sox fan who had season tickets to Fenway Park. She “was a country girl” who loved to hunt with a falcon that would scare game she’d blast out of the sky.

When the friend asked Nancy whether she had sought help for her troubled son, she reportedly said yes.

WTIC has the latest on how the victims’ families are recovering, and how the city is coping:

The Associated Press contributed to this report.

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Comments (269)

Polarized America
Posted on December 16, 2012 at 5:39pm
…Monk…

I see that…. Prickly ***** lil Pouncing Porcupine POS ” ..has tried to make a point but failed

it’s too bad that Spammers sometimes ripoff people off, but ripoff people they do…

…………………….go get um…………./;-)

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Tri-ox
Posted on December 16, 2012 at 5:27pm
Nancy Lanza was 54 years old and she had DRINKING BUDDIES?

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- VanGrungy
  Posted on December 16, 2012 at 5:58pm
  better that than drinking alone
  
  Report this comment
- Walkabout
  Posted on December 16, 2012 at 6:02pm
  What is wrong with drinking as an adult? Especially if you drink in moderation.
  
  My cultural shock came when I saw 6 graders belly up to the bar after school. Since it was legal & they were getting away with nothing, there is no trying to get rip roaring drunk. Just a beer & go home for homework or to a sports club.
  
  Report this comment
- Fred Noonan
  Posted on December 16, 2012 at 6:05pm
  The commonality among most of these young male murderers is no father living in the house.
  We are reaping what we have sown (in the 60′s & 70′s).
  
  Report this comment
- TROLLMONGER
  Posted on December 16, 2012 at 7:03pm
  Just another right wing holier than though prude that thinks adults shouldnt drink.
  
  Report this comment
- Fred Noonan
  Posted on December 16, 2012 at 7:09pm
  Like I stated before: From todays UK Mail:
  
  “One of Lanza’s former classmates spoke of his ‘noticeable decline’ after his parents’ divorce. ‘He was a loner at school and hyper intelligent,’ he said. ‘But in recent years he disappeared off the radar”.
  
  Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2248782/Adam-Lanza-How-classmates-remember-genius-turned-heartless-killer.html#ixzz2FGNCVY2J
  Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook
  
  Report this comment
- Walkabout
  Posted on December 16, 2012 at 7:12pm
  Fred Noonan
  
  No father does not mean you will not or cannot succeed in life. It is a
  
  Probabilistic Predictor
  
  You are correct.
  
  Report this comment
- Fred Noonan
  Posted on December 16, 2012 at 7:15pm
  More from the UK Mail:
  
  ‘The word is that he was badly affected when his parents split and that might be what pushed him over the edge.
  ‘He was always weird but the divorce affected him. He was arguing with his mother. He was a ticking time bomb waiting to explode.’
  
  Report this comment
- grayling646
  Posted on December 16, 2012 at 7:21pm
  I agree Van
  
  Report this comment
- Fred Noonan
  Posted on December 16, 2012 at 7:31pm
  Walkabout: You are absolutely correct.
  
  Report this comment
- RRFlyer
  Posted on December 16, 2012 at 8:02pm
  I agree, why is that article insistent on calling a friend a “drinking buddy”?
  That was just stupid
  
  Report this comment
- HappyGirl537
  Posted on December 17, 2012 at 6:28am
  Fred, thank you for stating what would have been obvious in earlier times.
  
  Report this comment
- BetsyRoss1513
  Posted on December 17, 2012 at 10:44am
  Please make no mistakes. Nancy had every right as a free adult to go to a bar to have a drink. Her kids were 24 AND 20!!! Not infants, or impressionable school age children. Being the mom of two adult sons, I have no qualms going out for a drink at a bar. I’ve earned that right. Please stop making assumptions about this situation. We don’t know enough about her to blame her.
  My kids are respectively ADHD and Aspergers. If I don’t keep guns in my house, should I worry my 24 yo son is going to shoot me with a bottle of shampoo?
  
  Report this comment
watashbuddyfriend
Posted on December 16, 2012 at 5:22pm
Seems to me, the mother, Nancy Lanza, is the one who contributed to her son slaughtering all those children, and adults? Otherwise, why, and how did Sandy Nook school come into the picture?

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- ckiley
  Posted on December 16, 2012 at 10:30pm
  Not following you on that one. She was not connected to the school as first reported.
  
  Report this comment
- Diane TX
  Posted on December 17, 2012 at 12:11am
  I have read reports that he did attend Sandy Hook Elementary as a young child. The school couldn’t handle his behavior, and his mom was constantly called to the school because of it.
  
  Finally, she ended up home schooling him until he was of high school age.
  
  There’s your connection.
  
  Report this comment
thegoonch
Posted on December 16, 2012 at 5:11pm
My wife and I have an adopted son with alot of the same issues as this killer. Everytime my son does something “wierd” it reflects on us as parents. Our entire family energy goes towards the care and treatment of this boy and still he will most likely end up under state care as an adult. ALL “normal” people exihibit one of these symptoms at some point in life, so diagnosis is difficult. Don’t blame the mom she had more than likely much of her energy trying to save this boy. I know.

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- ldaopines
  Posted on December 16, 2012 at 5:22pm
  He may not be in state care as an adult, UNLESS HE CHOOSES TO BE. These days, there are “patient rights” extended to severly mentally ill people. They either end up committing suicide, dead of exposure on the streets, violently killed on the streets, or in prison for various crimes.
  
  Report this comment
- thegoonch
  Posted on December 16, 2012 at 5:33pm
  Prison IS state care. My family lives this nightmare with our eyes wide open. My biggest task is protecting innocent bystanders. We are 100% and still he may not make it.
  
  Report this comment
- gz22ll
  Posted on December 16, 2012 at 5:44pm
  She did have a responsibility as a gun owner to make sure the weapons were secured from her mentally unstable child. No different than leaving the keys in the ignition of the car in the garage or driveway. If you own a gun you have a responsibility to secure your guns.
- Excomunicatedmarine
  Posted on December 16, 2012 at 8:11pm
  You are totally right…..to others: try raising an autistic child, the mother obviously tried her best, found the “system” which she believed in, as a teacher in it, wasn’t prepared to deal with her son. This destroyed her belief that our society was complete and she decided to take care of herself , teach him herself, protect him herself, all the while seeing how the world is spinning out of control. Her son had social problems, but certainly was not stupid. He felt the rejection, he felt his own in-adequacy, and like so many higher function autistics had great frustration, because he too, like all of us wanted to fit, to be loved.
  
  I could go on and on, but in no way do I condone what he did, I only want to point out that a good part of this is also our failure as a society. It is a horror, evil stepped in where goodness was left out.
  
  When we pass our most vulnerable by…don’t care for them as ourselves , we fail and our failures always bring horrors.
  
  Please, Please Please read the bible, learn what it means; for as we turn our back on God, we turn our back on his protection. Thus we walk in the dark among foul and dangerous things. As we turn to God we turn to the Light, we admit our short comings and ask for help…..the arrogant feel they need no help, they march on in darkness. Don’t let them drag you down too.
  
  Report this comment
- drs1969
  Posted on December 16, 2012 at 8:20pm
  Some mentally ill people can’t be saved in this time, maybe in the future. That’s why institutions were started.
  
  Report this comment
- NigelTufnel
  Posted on December 17, 2012 at 8:27am
  Now we are finally getting to the real conversation at the heart of this incident. The mother’s effort was admirable and clearly she was at a cross-roads with her son. The variable here could be expectation. Did the mother expect her son to get better when he completed high school or once he became an adult? We don’t know. But clearly she reached a point where she knew her efforts were not going to be enough anymore. At some point, someone should have prepared this mother for when this day would come. This mark’s a clear break-down with the left’s logic. “Treat the kid as normal and he will be normal.” “Welcome the Muslim Brotherhood into the world community and they will become a normal society and our friends”. Their logic is not working.
  
  Report this comment
bcope01
Posted on December 16, 2012 at 5:10pm
Trouble is you cannot get the help you need for these mentally ill folks. They have to be a threat to either themselves or others. If there is no outward threat, then there is no help. They are considered adults and cannot be admitted. I suppose if Adam was “burning” himself maybe it could have been reported. Doubtful that anything would have been done by the authorities. You cannot lock the “crazies” up anymore thanks to the ACLU and the libs. So, what’s the answer? They roam our streets, live at home and commit these horrific acts. Sadly, we live a society that doesn’t believe in right or wrong, good or evil. Its a “whatever” society . Whatever feels goods or whatever I want.

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- crazyrightwingmom
  Posted on December 16, 2012 at 7:54pm
  So true…we just put them out on the streets. If we are so caring, how about some really caring and safe places for them to be. They would feel better. The world would be better.
  
  Report this comment
- drs1969
  Posted on December 16, 2012 at 8:32pm
  Don’t leave out Hollywood’s hand in this. Remember One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest?
  My mother worked in several of these intitutions back then. As a kid I’d visit in these ‘Looney Bins’. Most patients were drugged out of their minds, which was just a ‘chemical straighjacket’. I only saw one patient who had been lobotimized. They were very old, had been experimented on back in the 50′s, and just a total vegetable.
  It’s disgusting that our gov. won’t execute killers w/ ‘free will’, but will throw these people out to die, or in Lanza’s case, to kill.
  
  Report this comment
ldaopines
Posted on December 16, 2012 at 5:08pm
This mother, knowing that her son was behaving oddly, had NO business keeping guns where he could get access to them. What on earth was she thinking?

My parents found a handgun my 33 year brother had purchased in his room. Knowing that he had lifelong schizophrenia, they took the gun from him and turned it over to the police. They never kept weapons like that at the house.

Gunowners have a responsibility to lock up their weapons from children or mentally ill family members. My opinion is that they are otherwise responsible.

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- TRILO
  Posted on December 16, 2012 at 10:26pm
  How do you know the guns were not locked up? Maybe they were in a safe and he found the combination. Why are people trying to blame the mother? If I recall, she is dead too. Shot in the face from what I hear. I heard psychiatrists saying today that this is not typical behavior for people with his form of autism.
  
  People put their kids on Ritalin and other mind altering drugs that have serious and dangerous side effects but are labeled as “safe” and pushed liked candy. Should these parents also be precluded from exercising their 2nd amendment right? Where do we draw the line on mental illness? If someone has a bout with depression and talks with a psychiatrist should they forever be banned from owning a gun? Most of the time the side effects of these dangerous psychotic drugs are never discussed with families or patients. Parents just take the word of the “professionals” that this is what their children need to “fit” in and conform to the educational setting. If they suffer secondary side effects, they are prescribed additional drugs. Educators and schools push this cr@p. FYI they get more federal $$$ the more IEP’s (Individual Education Plans) for emotional and educational impaired children they complete. My son’s school tried to push this cr@p on my family 10 years ago; I told them to shove their Ritalin. Kids need more recess not drugs!
  
  And then some people are just plain and simple psychotic killers, Jeffery Dahmer, Charles Manson and Jim Jones all co
  
  Report this comment
- ScreamingMimi
  Posted on December 16, 2012 at 10:27pm
  Have to agree to your thoughts. She should have been more cautious and removed the guns, except this nut job was trying to buy his own gun, so I guess it probably would have made no difference. Another time and date for this murderer’s fuse was lit.
  
  Report this comment
valleyfever
Posted on December 16, 2012 at 5:02pm
What is this “suspected mass shooter” nonsense? Get the guns check the fingerprints, then find out who wasn’t supposed to be in the school. That would be the mass shooter…not the “suspected” mass shooter. Better yet that would be the mentally deranged cowardly POS.

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- TurboCat
  Posted on December 17, 2012 at 2:48am
  The mother knew her kid had something wrong yet she still did not keep him away from the guns. I brought up a dangerous kid, and I had to watch him always, because there were innocent bystanders (called society) and my first obligation was to turn out a decent human being into the world. Sometimes a person needs to grapple with their emotions (ex: not my child…mine would never do that). Oh please. Be honest with yourself and try not to be in denial. Do the most caring and loving things you can for your kids but respect the fact that it’s not all about you.
  
  Report this comment
P. Long
Posted on December 16, 2012 at 5:01pm
What a load most of these comments are. It’s reflects what most people with no experience of mental illness come up with when trying to figure out the mentally ill’s behavior. It’s got to be a lack of love, carelessness, a parent’s lack of care- something, anything, just put blame somewhere. I challenge any of you to try to deal with the rules governing care of the mentally ill in today’s world. I challenge you to take any one of the mentally ill into your home, with your family, (any age) and try to care for them with all your best intentions to the fore. Walk a mile in the other guy’s shoes, then see if you still want to spew your judgements. I speak from 34 years experience. How much you guys got?

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- Mudd
  Posted on December 16, 2012 at 7:16pm
  P.Long.There’s a lot of sense in what you wrote. Those who don’t personally experience mental disorder have no idea what they’re talking about. They have a right to their opinions and to voice them but we need people like you to, hopefully, shed some light on the subject.
  Everyone should reread your post and take it to heart. Unless you’ve been there, you don’t know.
  
  Report this comment
sondoggie
Posted on December 16, 2012 at 5:00pm
The demoniac in the bible was hurting himself and was feared. People in this evil age are also demon possessed. Most mental illness is demonic, but that isn’t sophisticated.

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- calamityjane85
  Posted on December 16, 2012 at 7:22pm
  I agree, people these days either don’t believe it or are afraid to. You can see there is no soul in those eyes.
  
  Report this comment
guz75
Posted on December 16, 2012 at 4:59pm
@RANGER1965
EEWWW!! Get a room!

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RANGER1965
Posted on December 16, 2012 at 4:57pm
The warning signs were there, but I can’t blame the mother. Most Mothers have a default setting of utter love when it comes to their children. They can forgive their child anything, and love them child through every horror.

She needed an ally, someone who could see clearly and help her, and her son through this. The suggestions about making her guns inaccessible to her son was a good one.

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- ResistSocialism
  Posted on December 16, 2012 at 5:03pm
  For sure
  
  Report this comment
- Excomunicatedmarine
  Posted on December 16, 2012 at 8:41pm
  DITTO…….but try getting that help. Have any idea how many families that have autistic children wind up divorced. The “default setting” you refer to isn’t always accepted by the father, but today a wife need not listen to her husband…….I don’t want to sound “un-PC here, but once it gets to where she is alone, it falls apart … sometimes quickly.
  
  Also, Fathers often can’t handle. Even when the woman fights the father’s male survivor “setting” , while not easy, it is often better for the child for him to be there. But of course there are different kinds of fathers.
  
  I don’t blame any of this on any one male.\ female, what have you, but a compassionate community is essential, and that is really hard to find in America.
  
  Above all, be careful what you teach your children, especially the autistic, it is really hard to take it back and “unteach” it.
  
  Report this comment
- OlefromMN
  Posted on December 16, 2012 at 9:13pm
  I think she viewed going shooting at the range as a way to help her son engage in society. She very well may have thought if she could just find a hobby he enjoyed, he would become less anti-social.
  
  Mom (his mom) was doing what every Mom would. She may have been naive, but not culpable.
  
  Report this comment
- Jowolf
  Posted on December 16, 2012 at 9:24pm
  I like your comments…..I wish that she and the father had taken more concrete steps to get help for their son as it sounds like he had been troubled for a long time. I hope that parents with children exhibiting these types of troubles will get help for their children and themselves….these are steps that must be taken so that troubled individuals can overcome their inner anger. My husband and I wasted no time when our child had a drug problem and got him and us help. We also policed our child until we were assured our child had overcome the problems. That was over 25 years ago….no drugs and a very successful individual we are so proud of. It can be done but it takes ALOT OF TOUGH LOVE.
  
  Report this comment
- Walkabout
  Posted on December 16, 2012 at 10:24pm
  Excomunicatedmarine
  but try getting that help. Have any idea how many families that have autistic children wind up divorced.
  ***
  No I don’t but since you bring it up so earnestly I have to believe it is high. So I looked. Go catch Ex. People needed to think about it.
  
  Parents of children with autism spectrum disorder had a nearly 24% chance of getting divorced, while parents in the other group split about 14% of the time.
  http://www.jsonline.com/features/health/100266159.html
  
  The CDC estimates that about one in 110 children in the U.S have autism spectrum disorder (ASD),
  Despite this increase in divorce seen as children with autism grew up, fully three-quarters of these parents did remain married, the new study showed
  http://www.webmd.com/brain/autism/news/20100806/parents-of-autistic-kds-at-risk-for-divorce
  
  Report this comment
jpd91163
Posted on December 16, 2012 at 4:51pm
check out this video and read the comments

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gui-VRT_YZo

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- Polarized America
  Posted on December 16, 2012 at 5:22pm
  i din’t catch the entire news conference but i heard a cop say that there were many “Bogus” stories going around the internet about this shooting, and he said something about it being a Federal crime
  …could this be one of them ?…..anyone else hear about this ?
  
  Report this comment
RANGER1965
Posted on December 16, 2012 at 4:50pm
@Porcupine

Because he’s a man. When he see’s a problem he identifies it, and does his best to fix it. He doesn’t argue about area’s of responsibility, he doesn’t play the “coulda” “shoulda” “woulda” game, and he doesn’t ask for permision.

He’s the same guy that would pick up a piece of trash in his neighbor’s yard, wipe the tears and comfort a child that was not his own, and blow away a bad guy without once wondering where the cops were.

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Kregneva
Posted on December 16, 2012 at 4:49pm
Hi MONchKin – (BABE)
We’re driving back from the Browns game – good thing we brought the I-Phone // which had to be UNEMPLOYED during the game- BOX rules you know. but right now, leaving the stadium in our nice warm Escalade waiting to get past the tailgaters, right now – we can see the Golf Course and there is still a HACKER or two WORKING away – what a bunch of SWINGERS!
It’s a Bummer to cheer for BROWNIES, right now. This really SEALS the season for US.
Is it really true you can pinpoint a moving 4G signal from outer space, right now, like the Bourne Legacy actors did? Can you just SAIL through that or do you need to be SURFING a lot?

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Lordchamp
Posted on December 16, 2012 at 4:43pm
I hear mention of mother but is there a father in the picture anywhere?

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- Pouncing Porcupine
  Posted on December 16, 2012 at 4:50pm
  Does your computer only get one channel?
  
  Report this comment
ares338
Posted on December 16, 2012 at 4:39pm
When my son was 13 years old I started having problems with him. I sold my guns and didn’t get more until he was out of the house. You have to use your brain…..or get killed by your own son apparently. You don’t give a baby a razor blade to play with so why give a deranged teenager access to guns…jeez!

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- mrunner
  Posted on December 16, 2012 at 4:56pm
  You nailed it. My daughter went through a rough time a couple years back. I did not get rid of my guns- but they were well hidden, in a locked cabinet, with trigger locks and ammo in a completely different locked location. I currently carry for self protection. I locked and hid everything back then for her protection and the protection of others…
  
  Report this comment
- ldaopines
  Posted on December 16, 2012 at 5:17pm
  My 33 year old schizophrenic brother had a handgun he had somehow obtained. My parents found it in his bedroom and turned it over to the police. That was the responsible thing to do. Unfortunately, he was able to get a rifle without their knowledge and committed suicide. Somehow, those on SSI for mental problems (like my brother) should be on a list of those unable to buy guns from dealers. Sometimes you have no way of knowing, but SSI would be one way. Personally, I don’t think that ANYONE on SSI, welfare rolls/foodstamps, etc. should be able to use those public funds for guns.
  
  Report this comment
izukiddin
Posted on December 16, 2012 at 4:38pm
How horrible for a mother to know that her youngest child is unstable and be in denial and have no idea of his capability and depths of his evil.

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bjornskis
Posted on December 16, 2012 at 4:37pm
great now the perpetrator is now a victim himself

some times people are EVIL plain and simple

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- 1TrueOne55
  Posted on December 16, 2012 at 5:15pm
  Evil is not a genetic disorder. Even “GOOD” people can do “EVIL” things for reasons we won’t ever completely know.
  
  We are not born into EVIL it is something that comes on or into us as we get older and develop the ability to know right from wrong. We see evil acts on TV shows that we did not use to. Its those who wanted to see more blood and violence (REALITY) in TV shows and now we have children whose parents allow them to watch Friday the 13th or the Texas Chainsaw Massacre at 5&6 yrs old in the privacy of their homes.
  As a Culture/Society we have removed Morality that means something when we removed our teaching of faith in what we call schools. We used to teach the golden rule in school when disciplining kids that would fight with others etc. Now with secular educators in charge it shows how our Society in the future will be like.
  We are getting the Society that we deserve.
  
  Report this comment
The_Almighty_Creestof
Posted on December 16, 2012 at 4:32pm
Time for a scruples question…if his “illness” had been detectable inutero, should she have the right/responsibility to abort? Should it have been done whether or not she agreed? Should he have been born, but placed in a “home” his entire life? Should he have been a guinea pig for drug trials to attempt to reverse his condition…whether or not he agreed or had actually committed any crimes to that point?

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- Diane TX
  Posted on December 16, 2012 at 4:51pm
  I don’t know Creestof … if only all of us could see into the future. The mother knew that something was wrong with her son. I guess that she couldn’t imagine that he would ever do such a horrible thing. She supposedly took him to Professionals and they weren’t able to predict the future either.
  
  Report this comment
- The_Almighty_Creestof
  Posted on December 16, 2012 at 5:06pm
  Thanks Diane TX,
  I watched a movie recently (Yes, I know…it was a movie) about a small village who had a child murdered. The police believe they have the man (a know child killer), but since he had only killed boys and the child from the village is a girl, the village constable believes someone else did it.
  
  As the constable looks into it, he becomes familiar with the childhood traits of eventual serial killers…bedwetting, setting fires, cruelty to animals inappropriate sexual contact, etc.
  
  The caught serial killer puts the constable’s own son…who is 12 and still wetting the bed, is in trouble for exposing himself to young girls, sets his sisters dollhouse on fire for tattling on him and is suspected of killing a neighbors dog.
  
  Near the end of the movie, the constable is so convinced the killer of the girl is his son, he takes him hunting and is moments away from killing him himself…when his wife and detectives reach him with the news that the guy in custody WAS the killer and had set up the constable just for fun. The movie ends with them all walking away with their arms around each other, etc.
  
  But all I could think of was…Ok, yeah…he didn’t kill the girl…but he has all the signs? The same signs the actual serial killer displayed as a child. So, what do we do with the constables son now?
  
  Report this comment
lisalake
Posted on December 16, 2012 at 4:31pm
“A drinking buddy”… just love the way the media talks about dead people who can’t defend themselves..just sayin’..

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- Pouncing Porcupine
  Posted on December 16, 2012 at 4:43pm
  Whatever…
  Obviously the bar-sluht mom was directly responsible for the way her kid turned out.
  
  Report this comment
- 65Mustang
  Posted on December 16, 2012 at 5:07pm
  I am of the opinion that society does not fully accept responsibility to acknowledge that a father is of utmost importance in a child’s life. Do not know the reason for their divorce but children pay the price of parents drinking and screwing around. Will not apologize for my opinion…it’s either God’s way or man’s way.
  
  Report this comment
- Walkabout
  Posted on December 16, 2012 at 6:06pm
  I don;t think going out once a week & having afew beers hurt anything. I don’t think the father being away helped. what is the term psychologists use?
  
  Probabilistic predictor.
  
  Yah, that’s it. It is why we are having all these discussions. People are always finding an example & saying that it shoots down a theory. Well its not it is always true or always fails, 1 or 0. It is something that gives you an edge towards one outcome or another
  
  Report this comment
Polarized America
Posted on December 16, 2012 at 4:30pm
.
…go get um Monk….lol….btw… how ya doing in your search for work ?

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- MONICNE
  Posted on December 17, 2012 at 5:48pm
  Hello POL America
  
  Funny labor situation — Sometimes it’s hard for haters to become employed, because in the current economy the employer has a lot of choices. We (real) Job Creators do not have to put up with over the hill, overweight, overqualified and unpleasant posers with C++ outlooks and taker attitudes.
  
  We can get perky JBOSS builders at a third of the price, who actually have healthy home lives.
  
  What’s things like in the UK? Mate?
  
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UnsubtleSatire
Posted on December 16, 2012 at 4:24pm
Maybe if she thought her son had a problem she should have made her guns so easily accessible to him.

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- redfish52
  Posted on December 16, 2012 at 4:39pm
  More victimizing of the mother…key words “drinking buddy” and “blast out of the sky”. This will all be blamed on her. What about all the people that saw something odd or out of place with this young man and said nothing…do they also have blood on their hands…hmmm. What..cat got your tongue?
  
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- Pouncing Porcupine
  Posted on December 16, 2012 at 4:40pm
  And another thing: If the kid was “burning himself” or whatever, it wasn’t because he was “trying to feel something”. That’s a load of psychobabble. What he was doing was trying to get attention. That’s why people self-mutilate and/or “attempt” suicide. Obviously no one would pay attention to him, so he “acted out” (more psychobabble) to the extreme, likely facilitated by psychotropic drugs.
  
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- dugbru
  Posted on December 16, 2012 at 4:57pm
  @ porcupine, not every mom is like your mom…
  
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- strawberry411a
  Posted on December 16, 2012 at 5:49pm
  Right porcupine. Looked it up on google just before you posted. You do have a lot of ***** in you don’t you?
  
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- Walkabout
  Posted on December 16, 2012 at 6:07pm
  Probabilistic logic
  
  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Probabilistic_logic
  
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- Capt_Gregg
  Posted on December 16, 2012 at 6:20pm
  It’s speculation on my part, but I suspect, her being a collector, that her guns were secured. One doesn’t usually think of one’s own children as being a threat, and, living there with his mother, he could easily have learned the combination of a gun safe or obtained a key to wherever they were kept.
  
  The “coulda, woulda, shoulda” armchair experts, armed with 20/20 hindsight will opine ad nauseum, finding fault with the mother for having guns, the school for not providing adequate security, the police response and, if he had received any psychiatric care, those who may have evaluated him. Face it, evil and/or deranged people — walking time bombs just waiting to go off — walk unnoticed among us every day without attracting any critical attention.
  
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- Walkabout
  Posted on December 16, 2012 at 6:29pm
  Maybe he picked the lock & she didn’t think he could do that.
  
  Information is still coming out I dribs & drabs. I wish this never happened but I certainly don’t hate her.
  
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justa_thought
Posted on December 16, 2012 at 4:22pm
Heres what I think. We have become such a law suit nation that if one person had ever said anything about this kids mental before he did these killings, they would have had an army of lawyers on their butts ready to take them into court on behalf of a bereaved young boy with his bright future ahead of him. But now that a teacher or someone else has said that he was a bit nutty and talking about killing people, he will never be able to find the six figure job that he would have surely gotten without this.
Im sure also that some liberal judge would have thrown the book at that person. Probably putting them into bankruptcy. So the next time someone says, “someone should have alerted someone before this happened” Thank an ambulance chasing lawyer who gets one third of the money he “wins” you for spilling hot coffee in your lap, with keeping everyones mouth shut on kids like this.
Like this comment or not you know Im right.
Someone once said the definition of a shame is… a bus load of lawyers going over a cliff with one seat not occupied.

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- Dkoonz
  Posted on December 16, 2012 at 4:31pm
  You got it on the money.
  
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- strawberry411a
  Posted on December 16, 2012 at 5:16pm
  Holy **** porcupine…take a chill pill and relax. You are out of control.
  
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- Excomunicatedmarine
  Posted on December 16, 2012 at 8:50pm
  So sue the school ! God help us.
  
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Wdawg
Posted on December 16, 2012 at 4:14pm
Bring back the state run mental hospitals!

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- Polarized America
  Posted on December 16, 2012 at 4:28pm
  and if you know your kids are a little troubled, for God Sake put your guns in a safe & if she did then put a trigger lock on them, and if she did, hide the damn key or don’t wright the combination down.
  
  i remember there was an old saying when you knew of a troubled person around
  ..” Don’t let Them Play with Anything,,,” SHARP “”"
  
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- Dustoff
  Posted on December 16, 2012 at 5:46pm
  Do you really want to go down that road?
  Yes these people need help and need to away from others, but state run?
  
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- Cameron1745
  Posted on December 17, 2012 at 1:54pm
  That’s an excellent idea, because those in government would never abuse such power.
  
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neverending
Posted on December 16, 2012 at 4:10pm
Sounds to me like she lost him some time ago and was either blind to it or chose other avenues to escape from it. What a tragedy.

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- HigherRoad
  Posted on December 16, 2012 at 6:44pm
  We must remember that even King David had problems with his children. Admittedly, he was probably not always the best father, but we are all born with a sin nature and can choose or not choose to follow our sinful inclinations. Why was the father out of contact with his son for two years and yet living nearby? The mother should have insisted on his help and input. It sounds like both parents were in denial to some degree.
  
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- Meemster
  Posted on December 16, 2012 at 7:01pm
  It is easy to blame the mother. Unless you have had a really difficult child you cannot imagine how exhausting it is. The father of Adam lived in new jersey. Do we know how much time he gave the mother to help with this boy? Do we know for sure that she did not have the guns locked up? It is difficult and very expensive to get mental help and there is no guarantee that it will help. My son was killed two years ago it is the worst thing that can happen to you as a parent. He was not ill he was pushed and fell and had extreme brain energy and died from that. The people responsible got together and made up a story so they were never held to account. I don’t know which is worse, knowing they can go on with their life or having them kill themselves.
  
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- LadyLibertykicksASS
  Posted on December 16, 2012 at 10:32pm
  Sometimes when you’re directly involved in the situation it’s hard to get the clear perspective.
  Sounds like Mom was overwhelmed, but did not want to give up on her kid. She needed to involve the Police Department’s Youth Aid Division. They would be able to help her get the appropriate help for her son. Very Sad!!!
  
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