As the Republican-controlled House inches closer toward a vote on an amendment-less version of the Senate’s “fiscal cliff” bill, many conservatives are wondering about the future of the Grand Old Party:

For the wayward and dismayed conservative, former gameshow host and Hollywood conservative Chuck Woolery has a New Year’s resolution: Whatever Washington says it’s going to do, prepare for the opposite.

“My fellow Americans, it’s that time of year again when we wake up disoriented, hung-over, and proclaim our New Year’s resolutions,” the former host said, “promises that we make to ourselves which we have little to no intention of keeping.”

“One of mine is that I will find a third political party to support since we have been abandoned by both — but we all know that I won’t find one,” he adds. “John Boehner will pledge not to allow taxes to rise further, but he’ll ignore that. President Obama will promise transparency in Washington, but he’ll never do it. Nancy Pelosi will promise to lay off the Botox long enough to have a facial expression. That’s not going to happen either.”

“So here’s my one real new year’s resolution: Whatever I hear coming out of Washington that sounds good, I will plan on the opposite happening,” he concludes, “happy New Year.”

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Featured image courtesy wbal.com.