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How Would These Political ‘Elites’ Spend a $1 Trillion Coin? Here’s Our List

Jan. 10, 2013 12:32pm Becket Adams

Policymakers and economist all over the country are currently engaged in a giant “what if” conversation involving a $1 trillion-dollar platinum coin.

The idea is that rather than have another fight over the debt ceiling (and a possible default), the U.S. Treasury Department should use a legal loophole (31 USC § 5112) to mint a $1 trillion-dollar coin to be deposited into the Federal Reserve as payment towards our debt.

Now while this plan sounds absurd, it is very much legal. The Treasury actually has the power to do this.

However, the fact that it’s legal doesn’t take away from the fact that it’s, well, pretty ridiculous. I mean, can you imagine the press conference where President Obama introduces the world to the $1 trillion-dollar coin solution?

“Ta-da!”

Anyway, it’s legal, it’s being debated, and it’s all rather silly. So in the spirit of this silliness, we got to thinking: How would the people in and around the Obama White House (i.e. the so-called political “elite”) spend a $1 trillion coin?

We really have no idea. So we made it all up:

Anna Wintour: 30 Million Louis Vuitton Handbags

While Were Speculating About Minting a $1T Coin, Heres How These Notables Would Probably Spend it

(Courtesy fora.mtv.ca & Pixar)

Also known as that character from “The Incredibles,” this infamously unpleasant fashion mogul was a major bundler for President Obama’s 2012 presidential campaign.

With a $1 trillion-dollar coin, Wintour could buy 30,303,030 of those $33,000 Louis Vuitton Crocodile Old Flap Speedy bags she likes so much (assuming she hasn’t already moved on to bigger and greater game).

Jon Corzine: 27.7 billion Steak Dinners

Courtesy Emile Wamsteker/Bloomberg News

Former New Jersey Sen. Jon Corzine oversaw the collapse of MF Global and was at the helm when it was discovered that approximately $1 billion in customer money had gone missing.

Interestingly enough, on the eve of MF Global’s demise, Corzine, a major Obama bundler, was seen at a steak dinner at New York’s Helmsley Park Lane Hotel with a group of bankers and traders.

Now although one attendee says that there was “no sense at all that there was impending doom,” something must have bothererd Corzine because he left the restaurant before the main course arrived.

However, now that it’s fairly certain no charges will be brought against MF Global executives, Corzine can probably breathe easy now. In fact, he can finally have that steak dinner!

Jon Corzine, chairman and chief executive officer of MF Global Holdings Ltd., at a New York Philharmonic dinner in September. On Oct. 24, Corzine excused himself before the main course was served at a steak dinner at New York’s Helmsley Park Lane Hotel, saying he had to prepare for an earnings call the next day. (Amanda Gordon/ Bloomberg).

With a $1 trillion-dollar coin, Corzine could buy himself 27,777,777,777 $36 New York strip steak dinners at the Helmsley Park Lane Hotel Park Room restaurant.

Actually, now that we think about it, he’d probably get to about 10 before losing the rest of the money (yes, we know it’s a coin).

President Obama: 445.2 Billion Golf Balls

Cafepress.com

It’s no secret that President Obama enjoys golfing. Indeed, with 112 rounds under his belt since his 2008 inauguration, it’s high time he invests in a healthy supply of golf balls.

At $26.95 per 12-pack, the president could use a $1 trillion-dollar coin to purchase 37,105,751,391 packs. That’s 445,269,016,692 Titleist Velocity Double Digit Golf Balls.

He would never have to leave the links. Ever.

Rep. John Boehner: 2.4 Trillion Cigarettes

Getty Images.

It’s true: House Speaker John Boehner loves his smokes. Not only have we seen his habit first-hand, but there is also footage of him doing it:

Courtesy CNN

Yes, the Speaker really enjoys his cigarettes. You might, too, if you had his job.

At $8.27 per pack in Washington, the speaker could use a $1 trillion-dollar coin to purchase 120,918,984,280 packs of Marlboro Reds (contains 20 filtered cigarettes). That’s 2,418,379,685,600 cigarettes, which, now that we think about it, should make the next budget fight much more bearable for the Speaker.

Paul Krugman: 33.2 Billion Cat Scratching Posts

New York Times columnist and economist Paul Krugman has come out in favor of the coin idea, arguing that it’s preferable to a default.

“So minting the coin would be undignified, but so what?” he writes. “At the same time, it would be economically harmless — and would both avoid catastrophic economic developments and help head off government by blackmail.”

And while most everyone is aware of Krugman’s unwavering devotion to John Maynard Keynes, a lot of people don’t know about his fondness for cats:

Apparently, he’s a cat man.

With the power of a $1 trillion-dollar coin and all the wisdom that comes with being a demand-side economist, Krugman could use his freshly-minted goodness to buy 33,233,632,436 PETCO cat scratching posts.

He can either distribute the posts equally among 33.2 billion cats or he can give them all to one really fat cat. His choice.

Sen. Mitch McConnell: 50 Billion Bottles of Bourbon

Getty Images

Seeing as how he was raised in Louisville, Ky., we’re going to assume that Sen. Mitch McConnell has the same predisposition toward whiskey shared by all natural born citizens of the Bluegrass State.

True, he was born in Alabama, but we’re pretty sure Sen. McConnell enjoys Kentucky’s most important export. Also, some might say bourbon is the best explanation for why he signed off on that “fiscal cliff” deal (but that’s unconfirmed).

Look at it. It’s beautiful.

Anyway, with a $1 trillion-dollar coin, Sen. McConnell could buy 50,000,000,000 bottles of Wild Turkey Bourbon 101, almost enough to flood the nation’s capitol (9.9 billion gallons).

Sen. Harry Reid: 1.4 Billion Ringside Tickets at Madison Square Garden

This is a tough one. With his good looks and charm what more does he need?

Seriously, though, you know what Sen. Reid likes? Boxing. In fact, at one point in his life, he used to be an amateur boxer:

He even still occasionally weighs in on the big ticket matches. That being said, we think he’d really enjoy ringside tickets to the World Championship Boxing Tripleheader at Madison Square Garden.

At 675.00 per person, a $1 trillion coin would buy Sen. Reid 1,479,289,940 tickets, which, of course, is more than the venue can sit. But who cares? We’re talking about a $1 trillion coin here!

So there you have it. Share your own in the comments.

–

Follow Becket Adams (@BecketAdams) on Twitter

Featured images courtesy Getty Images.

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Comments (51)

SGT Rock
Posted on January 10, 2013 at 3:27pm
I would use it in a game of Monopoly to buy Boardwalk.

Well any money we are printing/minting is worthless now.

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- Go Glenn
  Posted on January 10, 2013 at 4:16pm
  Actually, the new money being print/minted (really just 0′s and 1′s in a computer now) is just as valuable as the money in your bank account. THAT’S THE PROBLEM!!!!
  
  Create more money and all existing money is worth less or should I say worthless?
  
  AND borrowing money is just as bad too. It has the same effect on our economy…..money dollars chasing the same goods mean inflation. When will anyone really admit that deficit borrowing is just as bad as printing money?
  
  Report this comment
John.Galt
Posted on January 10, 2013 at 3:16pm
The LIB-TARDS really are that DUMB.

I mean, if the Federal Govt can just make a $1 trillion coin, with no negative consequences, why not just mint 310 million coins worth $1 million each and give every citizen a million dollars?
Then we would all be RICH! Problem solved!

YES LIBERALS ARE THAT DUMB!!

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- FISH_BONE
  Posted on January 10, 2013 at 3:26pm
  That’s a stupid idea. Where would you spend your $1,000,000 coin? Giving each person two coins valued at $500,000 makes more sense.
  
  Report this comment
- TheBurningTruth
  Posted on January 10, 2013 at 4:35pm
  Good one Fishbone. But in truth, if the govt gave everyone a million dollar coin, then you’d use it to buy a burger down at McDonalds because that’s about what it would be worth.
  
  Report this comment
- FISH_BONE
  Posted on January 10, 2013 at 6:52pm
  I am hopeful that you understand my stupid comment as a commentary on the stupidity of the idea of issuing a 1 trillion dollar coin, including the effects that such stupidity would have on the economy. Further, I am hopleful you understannd my stupid comment as a commentary on the stupidity of liberals who believe the stupid idea to be good.
  
  Report this comment
FISH_BONE
Posted on January 10, 2013 at 3:13pm
With a trillion dollar coin, I would purchase a nice house next to Al Gore and then send my dog over to sh1t on his lawn every morning.

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CROCK-HANDLER
Posted on January 10, 2013 at 3:11pm
That and a dollar will buy you a cup of coffee.

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- SGT Rock
  Posted on January 10, 2013 at 3:29pm
  It could be the coaster for your coffee
  
  Report this comment
Canada_Goose
Posted on January 10, 2013 at 3:06pm
Memo to Mr. Adams:

Sometimes it’s actually a good idea to try to actually understand the theory behind what you’re writing about prior to actually posting some half a**ed , ill conceived , and poorly thought out article. If I was your editor on this one I would have sent you back to the drawing board.

The whole idea behind the $1T coin is that it would not actually be spent on anything, but it would be deposited into the Treasury’s account at the Federal Reserve. Then rather than issue new debt
(which would not be permitted due to the artificial debt ceiling) Treasury would clear it’s payments against this money. Once the ceiling is eventually raised the coin would be melted down.

Below is a good article in the very conservative Financial Post discussing this option and the various myths associated with it.

http://business.financialpost.com/2013/01/04/have-you-heard-about-the-trillion-dollar-coin-and-how-it-could-save-americas-economy/

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- Beachmastermax
  Posted on January 10, 2013 at 3:22pm
  Why not deposit a gold platted dog turd for the same purpose?
  
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- SGT Rock
  Posted on January 10, 2013 at 3:31pm
  Money only has value if it is backed by something. this coin would be backed by broken promises and ever rising debt limit so thus it is worthless and Fiat currency.
  
  Report this comment
- Canada_Goose
  Posted on January 10, 2013 at 3:31pm
  Sorry dude, but The Treasury is only authorized to mint platinum coins in any denomination. I didn’t write the rules, but nice try.
  
  Report this comment
- Attention2Detail
  Posted on January 10, 2013 at 3:42pm
  So you’re saying we would use the money to pay our bills but not actually spend it? You must be a politician to come up with a moronic statement like that. Let me see If I can explain it to you. The coin is deposited so we can continue to spend money. What money are we spending? The answer is the money we just deposited. What money is that? The trillion dollar coin. So you see we are spending the million dollars and it is the million dollar coin. You have to stop believing everything the puppet masters in Washington tell you and start thinking like a real boy.
  
  Report this comment
- Canada_Goose
  Posted on January 10, 2013 at 3:52pm
  @Attention2Detail
  
  Read the article. Clearly you have no clue how your own Treasury together with the Fed actually makes payments.
  
  http://business.financialpost.com/2013/01/04/have-you-heard-about-the-trillion-dollar-coin-and-how-it-could-save-americas-economy/.
  
  Report this comment
- Eastinfection
  Posted on January 10, 2013 at 4:02pm
  Read what the article’s aboot you hosers, eh?
  This is aboot money, eh?
  It’s aboot the Treasury, eh?
  
  Report this comment
- Attention2Detail
  Posted on January 10, 2013 at 4:06pm
  Two things. I know what they say. I also understand reality, which has nothing to do with how the government says it works. You go ahead and believe their hocus pocus if you want. In real life you spend the money you have and if that’s a trillion dollar coin, that;s what you’re spending. The fact that they may buy the coin back at a later date doesn’t make it any different. If people in government knew anything about money and finance, none of this would be necessary.
  
  The second thing. This was a light hearted piece about what one trillion dollars is. You don’t reallly think the author expects Obama to buy golfballs with it do you? Of course not, when votes are so much more valuable. Take it for what it was, entertainment.
  
  Report this comment
hslusher
Posted on January 10, 2013 at 2:16pm
Our insanity knows no bounds. Go for it sooner we crash the sooner we can RESET this horror story of a nation.

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- jcldwl
  Posted on January 10, 2013 at 3:04pm
  True
  
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gbarrel
Posted on January 10, 2013 at 2:05pm
Insanity hitting new levels everyday.

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thegreatcarnac
Posted on January 10, 2013 at 1:49pm
What stupidity! This fool mints a trillion dollar coin and then what? Will he borrow against it or will he pay down the debt will it? Just becaue you print it does not mean it is worth anything. My God…these people are crazy.

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- Beachmastermax
  Posted on January 10, 2013 at 3:20pm
  Maybe he will ask that a trillion dollars worth of Gold Bullion from Fort Knox be transferred to a Kenyan Bank in his name? Of course he will give Fort Knox the coin for safe keeping.
  
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Beachmastermax
Posted on January 10, 2013 at 1:48pm
Who would be stupid enough to buy a Trillion dollar coin? China? Europe?

Oh yea, I forgot, the American taxpayer.

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mcsledge
Posted on January 10, 2013 at 1:47pm
Throw another $1 trillion of currency in the mix and watch your $100 bill fall in its buying power to $75 or worse.

The ignorant and corrupt elite (as they would like to be called) are considering ways to dilute their own spending addiction. In the end, we all get sodomized.

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jackact
Posted on January 10, 2013 at 1:37pm
6 of those coins would cover the debt the Obama regime cost us (our children) during the past four years.
But not the $25 million spent on four Obama Hawaii vacations.

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The-Monk
Posted on January 10, 2013 at 1:35pm
Sounds like a rich private collector might pay a bunch for someone to steal it for his “private collection”.

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Beachmastermax
Posted on January 10, 2013 at 1:30pm
First Black president and we get a Banana republic Zimbabwean trillion dollar coin. Makes sense.

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- naughtycal
  Posted on January 10, 2013 at 1:36pm
  Didn’t the first trillion dollar stimulus show us what they would do with a trillion dollars…..Buy the next election
  
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bekhiet
Posted on January 10, 2013 at 1:26pm
Well, heck why don’t they make a few more of these platinum coins, won’t cost anyone anything and we can spend spend spend.

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EqualJustice
Posted on January 10, 2013 at 1:24pm
You forgot Nancy Pelosi.She wouldbuy herself a few 757′s.

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Snowleopard {gallery of cat folks}
Posted on January 10, 2013 at 1:19pm
It is one more lunatic idea of the leftists to find a way around the Constitution so they can avoid the Constitutional responsibilities they have.

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The-Monk
Posted on January 10, 2013 at 1:17pm
I’d buy that for a $1… oops, a $1T

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=85cL1HisrNc

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- Eastinfection
  Posted on January 10, 2013 at 1:41pm
  Please put down the coin. You have 20 seconds to comply.
  (Monk puts down the coin)
  You have 15 seconds to comply…
  You have 10 seconds to comply….
  You have 5 seconds to comply….
  
  Report this comment
Eastinfection
Posted on January 10, 2013 at 1:12pm
1.5 billion abortions?

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Eastinfection
Posted on January 10, 2013 at 1:09pm
Three windmills blocking the Kennedy family’s awesome view of the Atlantic ocean?

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IrritableGimp
Posted on January 10, 2013 at 1:05pm
Easy…I’d corner the gold and silver markets. ’nuff said!

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13th Imam
Posted on January 10, 2013 at 12:56pm
A years supply of condoms for Sandra Fluke.

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- RJJinGadsden
  Posted on January 10, 2013 at 12:58pm
  Really think they will last that long for her?
  
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HotFixIt
Posted on January 10, 2013 at 12:49pm
Guns for everyone!

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marine249
Posted on January 10, 2013 at 12:46pm
as I said before,= it’s a joke and so is obammmmer

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Cavallo
Posted on January 10, 2013 at 12:45pm
Increase the money supply by 1 trillion? I’m sure that will have no side effects on inflation, right? What is backing up that 1 trillion the full faith.. snort.. and credit.. LOL .. of the United.. ROTFL.. States.. chortle … of America..

How about 833 million free AR-15s? About 2 rifles and assorted ammo and accessories for every man woman and child on the census in the United States.. starting to get a picture on the amount of money yet?

The Pols don’t care, its MADE UP MONEY.. FIAT.. BY DECREE.. its based on NOTHING.

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RJJinGadsden
Posted on January 10, 2013 at 12:43pm
This is nothing more than a stupid gimmick to print more money.

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