Policymakers and economist all over the country are currently engaged in a giant “what if” conversation involving a $1 trillion-dollar platinum coin.
The idea is that rather than have another fight over the debt ceiling (and a possible default), the U.S. Treasury Department should use a legal loophole (31 USC § 5112) to mint a $1 trillion-dollar coin to be deposited into the Federal Reserve as payment towards our debt.
Now while this plan sounds absurd, it is very much legal. The Treasury actually has the power to do this.
However, the fact that it’s legal doesn’t take away from the fact that it’s, well, pretty ridiculous. I mean, can you imagine the press conference where President Obama introduces the world to the $1 trillion-dollar coin solution?
Anyway, it’s legal, it’s being debated, and it’s all rather silly. So in the spirit of this silliness, we got to thinking: How would the people in and around the Obama White House (i.e. the so-called political “elite”) spend a $1 trillion coin?
We really have no idea. So we made it all up:
Anna Wintour: 30 Million Louis Vuitton Handbags
Also known as that character from “The Incredibles,” this infamously unpleasant fashion mogul was a major bundler for President Obama’s 2012 presidential campaign.
With a $1 trillion-dollar coin, Wintour could buy 30,303,030 of those $33,000 Louis Vuitton Crocodile Old Flap Speedy bags she likes so much (assuming she hasn’t already moved on to bigger and greater game).
Jon Corzine: 27.7 billion Steak Dinners
Courtesy Emile Wamsteker/Bloomberg News
Former New Jersey Sen. Jon Corzine oversaw the collapse of MF Global and was at the helm when it was discovered that approximately $1 billion in customer money had gone missing.
Interestingly enough, on the eve of MF Global’s demise, Corzine, a major Obama bundler, was seen at a steak dinner at New York’s Helmsley Park Lane Hotel with a group of bankers and traders.
Now although one attendee says that there was “no sense at all that there was impending doom,” something must have bothererd Corzine because he left the restaurant before the main course arrived.
However, now that it’s fairly certain no charges will be brought against MF Global executives, Corzine can probably breathe easy now. In fact, he can finally have that steak dinner!

Jon Corzine, chairman and chief executive officer of MF Global Holdings Ltd., at a New York Philharmonic dinner in September. On Oct. 24, Corzine excused himself before the main course was served at a steak dinner at New York’s Helmsley Park Lane Hotel, saying he had to prepare for an earnings call the next day. (Amanda Gordon/ Bloomberg).
With a $1 trillion-dollar coin, Corzine could buy himself 27,777,777,777 $36 New York strip steak dinners at the Helmsley Park Lane Hotel Park Room restaurant.
Actually, now that we think about it, he’d probably get to about 10 before losing the rest of the money (yes, we know it’s a coin).
President Obama: 445.2 Billion Golf Balls
It’s no secret that President Obama enjoys golfing. Indeed, with 112 rounds under his belt since his 2008 inauguration, it’s high time he invests in a healthy supply of golf balls.
At $26.95 per 12-pack, the president could use a $1 trillion-dollar coin to purchase 37,105,751,391 packs. That’s 445,269,016,692 Titleist Velocity Double Digit Golf Balls.
He would never have to leave the links. Ever.
Rep. John Boehner: 2.4 Trillion Cigarettes
It’s true: House Speaker John Boehner loves his smokes. Not only have we seen his habit first-hand, but there is also footage of him doing it:
Yes, the Speaker really enjoys his cigarettes. You might, too, if you had his job.
At $8.27 per pack in Washington, the speaker could use a $1 trillion-dollar coin to purchase 120,918,984,280 packs of Marlboro Reds (contains 20 filtered cigarettes). That’s 2,418,379,685,600 cigarettes, which, now that we think about it, should make the next budget fight much more bearable for the Speaker.
Paul Krugman: 33.2 Billion Cat Scratching Posts
New York Times columnist and economist Paul Krugman has come out in favor of the coin idea, arguing that it’s preferable to a default.
“So minting the coin would be undignified, but so what?” he writes. “At the same time, it would be economically harmless — and would both avoid catastrophic economic developments and help head off government by blackmail.”
And while most everyone is aware of Krugman’s unwavering devotion to John Maynard Keynes, a lot of people don’t know about his fondness for cats:
With the power of a $1 trillion-dollar coin and all the wisdom that comes with being a demand-side economist, Krugman could use his freshly-minted goodness to buy 33,233,632,436 PETCO cat scratching posts.
He can either distribute the posts equally among 33.2 billion cats or he can give them all to one really fat cat. His choice.
Sen. Mitch McConnell: 50 Billion Bottles of Bourbon
Seeing as how he was raised in Louisville, Ky., we’re going to assume that Sen. Mitch McConnell has the same predisposition toward whiskey shared by all natural born citizens of the Bluegrass State.
True, he was born in Alabama, but we’re pretty sure Sen. McConnell enjoys Kentucky’s most important export. Also, some might say bourbon is the best explanation for why he signed off on that “fiscal cliff” deal (but that’s unconfirmed).
Anyway, with a $1 trillion-dollar coin, Sen. McConnell could buy 50,000,000,000 bottles of Wild Turkey Bourbon 101, almost enough to flood the nation’s capitol (9.9 billion gallons).
Sen. Harry Reid: 1.4 Billion Ringside Tickets at Madison Square Garden
This is a tough one. With his good looks and charm what more does he need?
Seriously, though, you know what Sen. Reid likes? Boxing. In fact, at one point in his life, he used to be an amateur boxer:
He even still occasionally weighs in on the big ticket matches. That being said, we think he’d really enjoy ringside tickets to the World Championship Boxing Tripleheader at Madison Square Garden.
At 675.00 per person, a $1 trillion coin would buy Sen. Reid 1,479,289,940 tickets, which, of course, is more than the venue can sit. But who cares? We’re talking about a $1 trillion coin here!
So there you have it. Share your own in the comments.
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Featured images courtesy Getty Images.
































































































































Comments (51)
ICEDRAGONNITE
Jan. 10, 2013 at 6:50pmThe Quest For The Ultimate Power! 1/10/2013
As Vice President Joe Biden puts on his act of looking for answers to what is needed for gun control, he is also espousing the side stepping of Congress, via Presidential Order to enact gun control bans on various part of weapons or a weapon that looks a certain way or adding additional expenses on the licensing of said weapons or ammunition.
I understand the heartfelt knee jerk reaction to the school shootings across the nation. However to null or change an Amendment to the Constitution of the United States by Presidential Order is Unconstitutional. In fact Presidential Orders themselves are Unconstitutional but have not been challenged at this time. So to accept that the President or Vice president can assume the power of the people to change a Right given by our Creator is absolutely an act of SEDITION or even HIGH TREASON. Any Congressmen allowing this Presidential Order to stand, without taking action against the said same is him/her-self guilty of Sedition and Treason by means of quietly standing by and doing nothing. This is called Nonfeasance. Which is tantamount to voting affirmative, for this Presidential Order of GUN Control or the Banning of parts or ammunition for said guns. Including the over regulation of such.
Below are the reasons for the Bill Of Rights as argued by our forefathers.
During the debates on the adoption of the Constitution
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alinskythis
Jan. 10, 2013 at 6:31pmApparently, you have to be dragged face-first through a key-hole to be a member of “The Elite.”
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media-bias-steals-elections
Jan. 10, 2013 at 5:14pmIf I was a liberal, I would use it to raise your property taxes, but hey, who knows what they will do with one of those?
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TotallyNotATroll
Jan. 10, 2013 at 4:59pmOk, forget that it is the very definition of devaluating our currency, by simply printing enough to pay our debt, I might be convinced to join in the bandwagon if they give me a truckload of bourbon. Plus, I won’t care about inflation at that point.
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Topcat
Jan. 10, 2013 at 4:59pmI would block the debt ceiling permanently , pass a balance budget amendment and mint a $1 Billion Dollar coin a day , destroying its value in paper money , the coin will remain in the treasury , or be sold to investors tax exempt .
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bankerpapaw
Jan. 10, 2013 at 4:57pmYou would have to pass GO before you could collect.
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taintso
Jan. 10, 2013 at 4:52pmBy the end of this term the platinum would be worth more than the face value of the coin.
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taintso
Jan. 10, 2013 at 4:48pmNancy Pigloski would spend it on her plastic surgery to improve her appearance, by getting a tail and floppy ears added.
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media-bias-steals-elections
Jan. 10, 2013 at 3:46pmI sense a disturbance in the force, and another urine jar piece of art in progress…..??
BTW, that is priceless with Paul Krugman?
Nice….
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