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‘This Isn’t the Petition Response You’re Looking For’: Yep, the White House Actually Responded to the ‘Death Star’ Petition

Jan. 12, 2013 7:44am Madeleine Morgenstern

This Isnt the Petition Response Youre Looking For: White House Responds to Death Star Petition

The Death Star under construction. (Image source: Wikimedia)

The answer is no.

No, the United States won’t be constructing a “Death Star” as part of its military arsenal any time soon.

More than 34,000 people had signed an official White House petition to build a “Star Wars”-inspired super-weapon and on Friday, the administration responded with enough galactic humor and movie references to make even Darth Vader proud.

“This isn’t the petition response you’re looking for,” wrote Paul Shawcross, a White House adviser on science and space.

For one thing, the construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850 quadrillion.

“We’re working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it,” he said.

Also, “the administration does not support blowing up planets.”

And finally, “why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?”

Shawcross pointed out that there’s already has a space station (“that’s no Moon”) orbiting the Earth — the International Space Station, which has six astronauts aboard.

But to those looking to pursue a career in science or technology, may the “Force” be with you.

“Remember, the Death Star’s power to destroy a planet, or even a whole star system, is insignificant next to the power of the Force,” Shawcross said.

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Comments (56)

Lord_Frostwind
Posted on January 12, 2013 at 4:33pm
Okay I’ll admit that response did make me laugh. I’ll give the Administration one shred of credit, they are at least smarter than the Galactic Empire, “you mean a hole that leads into the reactor core is a problem? Well we’ll solve that by making the hole big enough for enemy starships to fly into the reactor!”

Actually, that might be a perfect metaphor of how politicians think, but I digress. I Suppose I’ll just have to be satisfied with a Star Destroyer.

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- John 1776
  Posted on January 12, 2013 at 5:25pm
  The administration has always had a good sense of humor….
  It’s that sense of entitlement and tyranny that is the problem! ;)
  
  Report this comment
- ALL4FREEDOM
  Posted on January 12, 2013 at 9:52pm
  The only thing they actually want to blow up is the Republican party.
  
  Report this comment
- RTFM
  Posted on January 13, 2013 at 8:01pm
  $850 quadrillion dollars to construct it. So what. Fire up some extra printing presses to crank out some more $$ . No different then what they’ve been doing for the last 13yrs.
  
  Report this comment
BlasberryStrat
Posted on January 12, 2013 at 4:27pm
This kind of thing IS what America has come to. If you feed fantastic films to children – you get “adults” who live in a movie dream land. This shows that there are at minimum 34,000 ACTIVE “adults” who actually believe a “Death Star” can be built. Hey. You men remember when “Mad Max” was the rage, and EVERY group had at least one guy who actually believed you can turn an engine Blower “on and off” by a simple push of a button? Now we’ve got the start of multiple generations who actually “believe” the World can be run by “following the Force”.

Let’s see….a 20′s man standing 20 ft away, wearing a brown cloak and trying to “choke” me with “the Force” – while I stand “in terror” holding a 9mm. Hmmmm…. “Nope”.

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- kevinj319
  Posted on January 13, 2013 at 3:42am
  At least 34,000 adults have a sense of humor that you don’t seem to have.
  
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Watchingtheweasels
Posted on January 12, 2013 at 3:14pm
The emperor is committed to neutralizing the rebellion on a state-by-state basis. Therefore a weapon that would destroy an entire planet would not serve the needs of the empire at this time.

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karen162
Posted on January 12, 2013 at 2:53pm
Yeah, you definitely want to fix that one man fighter flaw. However, if we had a, “Death Star”, this government would definitely blow up a planet. :-O

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- 83plus
  Posted on January 12, 2013 at 3:03pm
  lol wait waste of time
  
  ‘These are not the droids you’re looking for’
  
  Report this comment
sandrunner
Posted on January 12, 2013 at 2:51pm
obama responds to a silly petition as the death star…what a joke.

and his responds on the petition to secede from the Washington DC…and he says no? or is he joking?

I am confused?

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Sloth
Posted on January 12, 2013 at 1:26pm
I am against beginning construction of a Death Star at this time.

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- SocialistSlayer
  Posted on January 12, 2013 at 2:11pm
  I’m for it – At least then we might end up with something useful for all the money Communist obama has spent and at the very least we would know where the money went !
  
  Report this comment
progressiveslayer
Posted on January 12, 2013 at 10:57am
test

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- Gonzo
  Posted on January 12, 2013 at 11:30am
  icles.
  
  Report this comment
- flypantherfan
  Posted on January 12, 2013 at 12:11pm
  I have just petitioned the Obama administration to make The Blaze the official website of The United States of America. I know every The Blaze fan wants to hear a response to this petition. Sign it by going to https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/make-blaze-official-website-united-states-america/qVz9Qqv4 It must have 25,000 signatures by February 11, 2013.
  
  Report this comment
ripvanwinkle
Posted on January 12, 2013 at 10:29am
“We’re working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it,” he said.

Excuse me? Show me the evidence.

Reading between the lines, I think the real response could have been this:

The White House has discovered significantly easier ways to drain $850 quadrillion dollars from the global economy, and they’ve been making great progress over the last four years. Truth be told, we’ve been making reasonable progress for most of the last 40 years.

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- Jadedfate
  Posted on January 12, 2013 at 1:49pm
  He was attempting to use an old Jedi Mind Trick…it only works on weak minded fools, though, like Obama Supporters.
  
  Report this comment
emh1701
Posted on January 12, 2013 at 10:20am
Those people make us normal geeks look bad. Seriously, we know there is a reason it’s called science fiction.

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UNALIEN
Posted on January 12, 2013 at 9:59am
NeoKeynesian Krugman claimed that the threat of alien invasion would be great for the economy, so $850 quadrillion in spending,, we’d all be rich…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhMAV9VLvHA

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Pat Alexander
Posted on January 12, 2013 at 9:48am
I am convinced it’s time for The Martian Ambassador to address a Joint session…

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UNALIEN
Posted on January 12, 2013 at 9:29am
NEW PETITION,, audit the gold.. SIGN UP

https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/perform-assayed-public-audit-all-treasurys-claimed-8100-tons-gold-and-net-swaps-loans-sales/rGyFTLwD

WE PETITION THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION TO:
Perform an assayed public audit of all the Treasury’s claimed 8,100 tons of gold and net of swaps, loans & sales.
As of 12/31/2012 the US Treasury claims to hold 261 million ounces of gold at Denver, Fort Knox, West Point and at the Federal Reserve Bank of New York. This bullion was last subjected to a full physical audit in 1953. The gold bars need to be assayed and weighed. Once the gold is verified the paper trail must be audited to determine who really owns the gold; i.e. how much has been loaned to bankers and dealers and sold or swapped to non-Treasury entities including foreign governments. The audit must include professional auditors outside of the Mint, Treasury, GAO, Inspector General and Federal Reserve system.

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progressiveslayer
Posted on January 12, 2013 at 9:16am
Barry and Co. are having a ball aren’t they? No budget in four plus years,trillions in new spending and now they’re doing this?

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- G-WHIZ
  Posted on January 12, 2013 at 9:38am
  No “DEATSTARR” needed! They are destroying the world from within each country!!
  The New World Order…and it’s KING….Berrie S.!!
  
  Report this comment
- Gonzo
  Posted on January 12, 2013 at 9:38am
  Why not? Who’s stopping them? Boehner and the House we elected? Hell, they’re all ready to sign on to a weapons ban.
  
  Report this comment
- progressiveslayer
  Posted on January 12, 2013 at 10:03am
  Gonzo It’s almost like we have a one party system huh? They’re all the same they don’t give a damn about the constitution or us.They only care about their power and money and how many more of our rights we allow them to strip from us.I still believe they’re working on the slow death of the second amendment,passing more and more ‘gun laws’ to infringe on our right to bear arms until we’re brainwashed to the point that we no longer believe we have that right.
  
  Report this comment
GBTVFan_Non_American_Overseas
Posted on January 12, 2013 at 9:09am
That petition page is just for mocking the people of your country. I hardly believe they will give a serious answer to anything unrelated to their agenda, or in other words, anything that represents the people’s will….

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Gonzo
Posted on January 12, 2013 at 9:05am
“We’re working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it,” That statement is more asinine than the petition.

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- TIMEBOMB
  Posted on January 12, 2013 at 9:10am
  It certainly is but my supporters are stupid they love their gay Marxist magnificent ruler so I can do anything I want. Praise be to me BHO.
  
  Report this comment
- kryptonite
  Posted on January 12, 2013 at 9:22am
  @TIMEBOMB
  Praise be to me BHO.
  —–
  I know you’re being sarcastic, but repeating a phrase over and over again is a brainwashing technique. You are unwittingly inculcating an abomination to God. Please stop.
  
  Report this comment
Fellow_Citizen
Posted on January 12, 2013 at 8:36am
What’s 850 quadrillion dollars to this administration?

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- TIMEBOMB
  Posted on January 12, 2013 at 9:00am
  A weekend in Paris. Praise be to me BHO.
  
  Report this comment
NOTAMUSHROOM
Posted on January 12, 2013 at 8:32am
Now I know why they think we’re all idiots.

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- QuantumVerp
  Posted on January 12, 2013 at 5:10pm
  “Now I know why they think we’re all idiots.”
  
  What an idiotic statement.
  
  Perhaps, because everyone around you knows you are an idiot you simply explain it away by assuming they are thinking that you are an idiot because they in fact think everybody are idiots and that is why you are included?
  
  You are an idiot. And if you think you were insulting the greatest possible thinker ever with your little quip then you are a chicken which would therefore explain why you are an idiot. Chickens are stupid. Do you have chickens yet? Don’t. You probably couldn’t feed them.
  
  Report this comment
QuantumVerp
Posted on January 12, 2013 at 8:25am
Plutonium 238.

What are the bookends for the History of Life on any planet composed of?

Correct! And it’s the Daily Double! What is your wager Mr Verp?
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patriotsofworkingamerica
Posted on January 12, 2013 at 8:20am
“We are 5 days away from fundamentally transforming the United States of America.”- Barack Hussein Obama

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- TIMEBOMB
  Posted on January 12, 2013 at 8:56am
  And that’s exactly what I’ve done,just between you and me my supporters are the most gullible idiotic people on earth,they’ll believe everything I say. I told them I’m a Christian and they bought it. The truth is I’m a Marxist so by definition I’m an atheist. I made them think I was heterosexual so I married my beard,my handelers told me I had to marry to fool the masses,and it worked! I’m killing your coal industry to subsidize my green energy policies which I know will fail that’s why I’m doing it. I forced government health care on you and it will bankrupt you in and of itself. I’m trashing your dollar and soon I’ll plunge you into a depression the likes of which the world has never seen. I will stuff you into third world status and strip the name of God from society. I do all these things to please my ole pop,you know him as Satan but I call em pops. Praise be to me BHO.
  
  Report this comment
YourKidding
Posted on January 12, 2013 at 8:16am
The WH Petition page is such a farse. It’s only to appease people and gather info. for Big Brother. They will only respond to the ridiculous ones that they can handle. Nothing of importance or intelligence.

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- DougHuffman
  Posted on January 12, 2013 at 8:44am
  A honeypot, as I said.
  
  Report this comment
- TIMEBOMB
  Posted on January 12, 2013 at 8:59am
  My supporters aren’t the sharpest knives in the drawer. Praise be to me BHO.
  
  Report this comment
- DougHuffman
  Posted on January 12, 2013 at 9:41am
  Barrak Hussein Oedipus, killed his daddy and ‘married’ his momma.
  
  Report this comment
The_Almighty_Creestof
Posted on January 12, 2013 at 8:15am
Let’s invite all of the democrat congressmen to France on a fully paid “fact finding tour”, get them real drunk, take them to the nearest embassy and get them to renounce their US citizenship in pig latin. Irrevocable & perfectly legal : )

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- kryptonite
  Posted on January 12, 2013 at 9:13am
  Brilliant.
  
  Report this comment
HOOT_OWL
Posted on January 12, 2013 at 8:12am
Oh I get it get now. We have come to that stage, that we must elevate the littlest irrelevant story to distract us from the fact our country is totally in the crapper.

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AlwaysPissed
Posted on January 12, 2013 at 8:06am
Barack…..Frank Marshall Davis IS YOUR FATHER!!!!

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- DougHuffman
  Posted on January 12, 2013 at 8:09am
  Barak is an Oedipus
  
  Report this comment
- TIMEBOMB
  Posted on January 12, 2013 at 8:57am
  Wrong my father is pops,you know him as Satan.
  
  Report this comment
NOBALONEY
Posted on January 12, 2013 at 7:55am
um, the Cliff Lord, the force of the dark side… he is

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DougHuffman
Posted on January 12, 2013 at 7:47am
We the People petitions are a Federal Executive honeypot.

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- TIMEBOMB
  Posted on January 12, 2013 at 9:07am
  Shhhhhhhhhhhhh Doug you let the cat out of the bag,I will reduce your rations of soylent green by half!
  Praise be to me BHO.
  
  Report this comment

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