Entertainment

Butt Glue, Bombshell Bras & Last-Second Lunges: Why Miss America Is Called A ‘Beauty’ Pageant & Not A ‘Brains’ Pageant

Last night’s Miss America pageant offered a host of fascinating revelations from the contestants.

Miss Iowa (whose real name is Mariah Carey) appears to support marijuana for both medical and recreational use:

Miss California (Leah Cecil) thought euthanasia was a vaccine. (Luckily for Miss California, this happened before the competition. Lucky for us, ABC News had cameras rolling for a “Good Morning America” special called “Beauty Pageant Confidential.”)

Miss New York (the pageant’s eventual winner) believes armed guards at schools would not stop violence:

“I don’t think the proper way to fight violence is with violence. I think the proper way is to educate people on guns and the ways we can use them properly. We can lock them up, we can have gun safety classes, we can have a longer waiting period.”

Mallory Haggan, 23, from Brooklyn, N.Y. walked away with the Miss America title last night.

Miss America Pageant Highlights

Image: AP/Isaac Brekken

As the first New Yorker to win the coveted crown since 1984, Haggan is likely to get an extra special thank you from New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo — but probably moreso because of her answer about armed guards in schools. Expect the new Miss America to make appearances with the governor as he announces the next phase of his “sweeping gun control” proposals.

Bonus Miss America content:

The clip of Miss California’s fumble on euthanasia was from ABC’s “Beauty Pageant Confidential.” That entire segment is also worth watching, especially for those of us who did not know about such pageant secrets as:

  • Butt glue
  • The “bombshell bra”
  • Last-second lunges and push-ups before going on stage in bathing suits

Bonus Miss America trivia: 

The last Miss America winner from New York was Vanessa Williams in 1984. Williams made headlines as the first black woman to wear the crown. A few months later, Williams was in the news again when she relinquished her title after nude photos of her were published in Penthouse magazine.

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Comments (108)

  • marssnw
    Posted on January 14, 2013 at 7:57am

    Stupid people, winning stupid contests. The answers get worse and worse every year. I know kids under 12 that could answer these questions better. Why don’t they just call it “Miss Beauty No Brain Contest”?

    Report this comment

    marssnw  
  • Deane
    Posted on January 14, 2013 at 6:45am

    If Gretchen Carlsen can win anyone can. Like the golden globe awards and academy awards these “contests” are the most ridiculous shows on tv. I haven’t seen either in decades.

    Report this comment

    Deane  
  • orecon
    Posted on January 14, 2013 at 4:04am

    I think every ” Gun Free Zone” posted at each school should become a voucher, pull it down and exchange it for an armed guard/police officer from your local statehouse. Let’s see how vulnerable the politicians feel when a sign is their only security.
    I’m sure the newly crowned Miss America will actively shun armed security at all of her events.

    Report this comment

    orecon  
  • LeadNotFollow
    Posted on January 14, 2013 at 2:18am

    These beauty contestants’ skulls are just fancy wind tunnels.

    Report this comment

    LeadNotFollow  
  • LeadNotFollow
    Posted on January 14, 2013 at 2:00am

    I sure hope Miss California isn’t planning on a career in the health care field.
    I would hate for someone to go in for a flu shot and come out in a body bag.

    Report this comment

    LeadNotFollow  
  • N37BU6
    Posted on January 14, 2013 at 1:36am

    Who even watches these things?

    Also, I hate to have to point it out, Suntzu, but:

    Hear / here
    Than / then

    They mean different things.

    Report this comment

    N37BU6  
  • neverending
    Posted on January 14, 2013 at 12:51am

    The majority of them are botoxed to death, implants, enhancements all over the place and then lacking an iq – never could waste my time on any of it.

    Report this comment

    neverending  
  • SarahBeALightInTheDarkness
    Posted on January 14, 2013 at 12:48am

    Oh dear me, butt glue! What have we as women come to? Hmm, well at least they are trying to stay IN their bathing suits..

    Report this comment

    SarahBeALightInTheDarkness  
  • Rbell2915
    Posted on January 13, 2013 at 11:36pm

    Miss New York, ugly as hell and more than likely owning 7 brain cells.

    I watched that little video and I gotta say that Miss Kentucky was extremely hot.

    Report this comment

    Rbell2915  
  • truthbased
    Posted on January 13, 2013 at 11:36pm

    wait i know the answer DONT HAVE A SUPER SKIMPY BIKINI.

    Report this comment

    truthbased  
  • whatsitallabout
    Posted on January 13, 2013 at 11:06pm

    Not.

    Report this comment

    whatsitallabout  
  • hugo65hsv
    Posted on January 13, 2013 at 9:47pm

    The beauty Beauty Pageant is not about feminine beauty in the least.. It’s more like a training show for female manipulation of men..

    Report this comment

    hugo65hsv  
  • CFL Tea Party
    Posted on January 13, 2013 at 9:18pm

    Fine *** women who will make horrible wives for rich people some day. These things are a little passe IMO. The over the top fake crying like they just got a letter from the war department, the fake smiles, the flamboyant judges, etc. It’s annoying as hell.

    Report this comment

    CFL Tea Party  
  • Pug
    Posted on January 13, 2013 at 6:55pm

    its amazing that we guard our money more then our children…money is picked up in armoured trucks guarded by armed guards…but putting an officer in the school is bad..what a dtiz Mess America is..but then she prbably agrees with the gov.of N.Y. that no one should have salt…..

    Report this comment

    Pug  
  • dumpsterdog
    Posted on January 13, 2013 at 6:01pm

    Haggan’s answer indicates that she must have been sniffing butt glue.

    Report this comment

    dumpsterdog  
  • MrKnowItAll
    Posted on January 13, 2013 at 5:49pm

    The Hotter they are….The more trouble they are.
    The Hotter they are….The more expensive they are.
    The Hotter they are….The More Stupid you are.

    Report this comment

    MrKnowItAll  
  • AllAmericanGirl22
    Posted on January 13, 2013 at 4:52pm

    These are rigged, if someone shared a conservative point of view, they would be disqualified in the judges minds. She won because she gave the answer all of the liberals wanted to hear.

    Report this comment

    AllAmericanGirl22  
  • User1
    Posted on January 13, 2013 at 4:42pm

    Who cares!

    Report this comment

    User1  
  • OhSnappage
    Posted on January 13, 2013 at 3:20pm

    Ouch! This beauty pageant speaks volumes of how embarrassed as a country we should all be. This is the best our society can churn out? We should strive to demand better, to be better. Intelligence should be key for these contestants. These three contestants represented incompetence and smug arrogance which is where our society is headed. Thanks Progressives/Liberals/Moderates!

    “Ok, this is the ONE THING I am not familiar with” – Really? You think maybe there might be a few other things?
    “Well, I DO KNOW that it’s a vaccine, right”? – Are you asking or do you actually know and are you telling us?
    “I believe we should use Marijuana for recreational and medicinal use only, and nothing else” – Is there some other way that it is being used?

    And this clearly is why this contestant was the winner with the dumbest full of herself type response on the show: not fighting violence w/ violence? When an assailant has a gun, a knife, aids needle, hazardous bio material, or to quote a Simpsons episode, has a “board w/ a nail in it” while breaking into a school, your home, place of work, public forum or wherever how the HECK ARE YOU TO DEFEND YOURSELF? The option is to surrender and be a victim? What if the person whose intened purpose is to kill, to maim, to rape yourself or your children? Is the solution a harsh talking to, flipping moron it’s embarrassing. Please get her for an interview to explain it because thats a nation waiting to be conquered let alone a home.

    Report this comment

    OhSnappage  
  • truthnstuff
    Posted on January 13, 2013 at 3:15pm

    Pop culture and idiots still sway the minds of the stupid. This is what Dumbocraps count on.

    Report this comment

    truthnstuff  
  • labec
    Posted on January 13, 2013 at 2:53pm

    Ah, THAT’s ENTERTAINMENT! …manufactured, manipulated, mutilated, and faked realism
    as a standard of beauty and representation of The United States. Pitting one girl against another
    is beautiful.

    Report this comment

    labec  
  • hades3
    Posted on January 13, 2013 at 1:54pm

    I keep hoping someone will come up with the brilliant idea to produce a beauty contest, using liberal
    women from the House and Senate as contestants. One would hope these ladies are all brains, since they appear physically too be a persons worst nightmare when it comes to the lack of beauty.
    I’m sure the lame stream networks would have an easy time, (not) , selling air time too sponsors, who would jump at the chance too lend their product names for a good cause. The sponsors who sell
    cosmetics, might even get a few of the ladies too endorse their products. Wouldn’t that be a hoot ?!!

    Report this comment

    hades3  
  • Papa Joe
    Posted on January 13, 2013 at 1:49pm

    Fake **** with fake brains!!

    Report this comment

    Papa Joe  
  • mbck1491
    Posted on January 13, 2013 at 1:43pm

    Miss NY says, the answer is not to fight violence with violence??? So what is her answer to nut jobs getting a hold of a gun and going on a shooting spree? I am sick and tired of all the touchy feel good responses from liberal anti gun twits. So what are we supposed to do grab the nut job by the arm while he’s on a shooting spree and sit down, and have a good chat with him and tell him what he’s doing wrong. How is having an armed guard in a every school violent? So many questions with no real solutions. I don’t know I think the armed guard in every school sounds good to me, or at least let some trained teachers carry concealed; problem solved.

    Report this comment

    mbck1491  
  • sgallion1
    Posted on January 13, 2013 at 1:25pm

    Let’s see….average beauty, average figure; but she isn’t for armed guards and wants more laws on gun control issues. Oh, and she’s from the “Big Apple”. Oh yeah……crown her! Another American tradition bites the dust and drinks the liberal kool-aid.

    Report this comment

    sgallion1  

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