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Crime

Bad Day: Security Guard Shoots Off His Penis With Illegal Gun, Faces Charges

Jan. 23, 2013 6:00pm Jason Howerton

shutterstock.com

A security guard in the Brazilian town of Rio Claro arguably had the worst day ever after he reportedly shot his penis off with an illegal gun. To make matters worse, he also faces charges for illegal possession of a firearm.

Police found the 33-year-old man slumped over in the driver’s seat of his car after a resident reported hearing gun shots. Police say the man was bleeding from his groin area when they arrived. The man was reportedly in possession of a .38 caliber handgun with four rounds of ammunition in his pocket.

The man was transported to San Fernando General Hospital where he remains under police guard. After conducting a trace of the man’s gun, police determined that he did not own a firearms users’ license. He faces charges for illegal possession of a firearm and ammunition.

RawStory points out that “these types of accidents are not uncommon. The Digital Journal listed reports of accidental gunshot wounds to the penis and testicles in Arizona and Washington state, as well as an incident from September in Port Lucie, Florida in which a man cleaning a newly purchased gun at a party shot himself in the genitals.”

(H/T: Gawker)

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Comments (162)

heavyduty
Posted on January 23, 2013 at 6:30pm
They said shots fired! What did he miss the first time? Then they say this is not uncommon! Is there a fad going around in that country?

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- MisterSarcastic
  Posted on January 23, 2013 at 6:40pm
  It’s called Dickaphobia and it’s nothing to joke about.
  
  Report this comment
- American_Christian_Capitalist
  Posted on January 23, 2013 at 6:47pm
  One final romance explosion.
  
  Report this comment
- The-Monk
  Posted on January 23, 2013 at 6:57pm
  In some Countries… if his name was Johnny Holmes or he could be facing 2 illegal weapons charges.
  
  Report this comment
- The-Monk
  Posted on January 23, 2013 at 7:03pm
  Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see… BANG….. oh, never mind.
  
  Report this comment
- The-Monk
  Posted on January 23, 2013 at 7:18pm
  His .50 cal is now a ,22 short…
  
  Report this comment
- kryptonite
  Posted on January 23, 2013 at 7:30pm
  @MISTERSARCASTIC
  There are now too many “females cruelly trapped in male bodies,” as one liberal judge recently stated. Barack should not let this crisis go to waste. It’s time we created the American d ick bank, where liberals can redistribute their little p ricks to the least fortunate, like this poor fella.
  
  Report this comment
- afishfarted
  Posted on January 23, 2013 at 8:12pm
  Excellent commentary folks.
  Crackin’ me up
  
  Report this comment
- Toltepeceno
  Posted on January 23, 2013 at 8:33pm
  Now he will need to schedule an addadicktomy.
  
  Report this comment
- KickinBack
  Posted on January 23, 2013 at 8:47pm
  Eric Holder’s reaction:
  
  “You see! We didn’t lose all the guns!”
  
  Report this comment
- SUNTZU
  Posted on January 24, 2013 at 12:08am
  Just shows some people will do anything
  to be transgendered.
  She could be the next Miss Brazil
  
  Report this comment
- Bodacious_Boedi
  Posted on January 24, 2013 at 1:09am
  It’s called a Mexican Carry…..just stuffing the weapon in the waistband of your pants like you see in the movies!! Incredibly stupid method, really.
  
  They have inside the waistband, IWB, holsters and they will cover that trigger!!
  
  Report this comment
- NLN
  Posted on January 24, 2013 at 3:25am
  That is his revolver, that was his gun. That is for fighting. that was for,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,well nevermind.
  
  Report this comment
- SacredHonor1776
  Posted on January 24, 2013 at 4:03am
  Illegal possession of a firearm? I thought he shot it off… How can he be in possesion of it anymore?
  
  Report this comment
- SacredHonor1776
  Posted on January 24, 2013 at 4:04am
  This guy will remember not to dismember his member in the future. To bad there won’t be much of a future.
  
  Darwin award?
  
  Report this comment
- RepubliCorp
  Posted on January 24, 2013 at 4:53am
  wait until the hangover sets in……
  
  Report this comment
- loriann12
  Posted on January 24, 2013 at 7:28am
  My father in law was out target practicing, with a LEGAL gun. He tucked it into his waistband, bent over his other sun to check the target, and it went off. It was a clean through and through shot (of his p e n i s). He had to wear a catheter for about a month so the hole didn’t close up.
  
  Report this comment
- poorrichard09
  Posted on January 24, 2013 at 8:40am
  A good example of why NOT to carry “Mexican style” ie. shoved down the front of your pants!
  
  Report this comment
miller721108
Posted on January 23, 2013 at 6:29pm
I’m pretty sure being charged with possession of an illegal firearm is the last thing on this doofus’ mind right now. Talk about dicking something up.

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- Rattlerjake
  Posted on January 29, 2013 at 2:33pm
  “This is my rifle,
  This is my gun,
  this is for fightin’,
  this is for fun! (Not any more!)
  
  Report this comment
FlagWavingPatriot
Posted on January 23, 2013 at 6:26pm
He sure got the shaft.

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- Al J Zira
  Posted on January 23, 2013 at 7:10pm
  Not any more!
  
  Report this comment
heavyduty
Posted on January 23, 2013 at 6:25pm
Sure hope his tomorrow goes better!

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- M13
  Posted on January 23, 2013 at 6:30pm
  I didn’t know Encinom had relatives that work as security guards.
  
  Report this comment
- thegreatcarnac
  Posted on January 23, 2013 at 7:34pm
  It probably was encinom….
  
  Report this comment
- BIG_G
  Posted on January 24, 2013 at 1:54am
  The guy has no balls!
  
  Report this comment
- rickybobby302
  Posted on January 24, 2013 at 8:09pm
  Big red. No this Guy has no penis now, not balls. Did you not read the story?
  
  Report this comment
Guitar Master
Posted on January 23, 2013 at 6:25pm
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
From THE REPORTER
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

According to his wife this was “no big deal.”

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- bigdaddyt46
  Posted on January 24, 2013 at 3:55am
  yep his wife told the da this could all be settled in small claims.
  
  Report this comment
- AJBrad
  Posted on January 24, 2013 at 11:54am
  could it be that it was already a .22 short?
  
  Report this comment
rs9
Posted on January 23, 2013 at 6:24pm
Can’t not read this one with that headline. He should have used one of teh remaining bullets to just end it all

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SpankDaMonkey
Posted on January 23, 2013 at 6:23pm
.
That’s a far cry from You’ll shoot your eye out kid…..

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- The-Monk
  Posted on January 23, 2013 at 7:16pm
  Hi Spank,
  “That’s a far cry from You’ll shoot your eye out kid…..”
  
  Unless it was the one-eyed monster. LOL
  
  Report this comment
- Jenny Lind
  Posted on January 23, 2013 at 8:56pm
  OK, you and Monk get the prise!
  
  Report this comment
- MDECKER
  Posted on January 23, 2013 at 10:29pm
  Colt Python-1, Python-0
  
  Report this comment
theBru
Posted on January 23, 2013 at 6:18pm
Blew his brains out, did he??? I guess we will be financing his reconstruction surgery…

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- 1TrueOne55
  Posted on January 23, 2013 at 6:42pm
  Only if you pay taxes in Brazil.
  
  Report this comment
- ALL4FREEDOM
  Posted on January 23, 2013 at 9:07pm
  Don’t bet on that!
  
  Report this comment
rvsample
Posted on January 23, 2013 at 6:18pm
This guy will probaly be one of the few living receipients of the Darwin Award. Usually one needs to die for a Darwin Award so they do not contaminate the gene pool.

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- EgbertThrockmorton
  Posted on January 23, 2013 at 7:55pm
  I am rather sure after his “field-expedient” penisectomy, he won’t be contributing anything to any gene pool.
  
  Report this comment
MisterSarcastic
Posted on January 23, 2013 at 6:18pm
If this man didn’t have a p enis this never would have happened.

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- Jim in Houston
  Posted on January 24, 2013 at 3:05pm
  We need penis control laws to prevent this sort of thing from happening again.
  
  Report this comment
Witness1974
Posted on January 23, 2013 at 6:16pm
Traded in his .38 for a derringer.

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spfoam1
Posted on January 23, 2013 at 6:13pm
There is no end to the Darwin Award candidates. A fool and his gun are soon parted. This is my rifle, this was my gun, this is for fighting and this was for fun.

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- caveman74
  Posted on January 23, 2013 at 6:22pm
  If a guy can shoot off his junk with a .38 then there wasn’t a lot to shoot off in the first place
  
  Report this comment
- Chuck7884
  Posted on January 23, 2013 at 7:33pm
  Funny thing is you do not know why the Drill Instructor (DI) has his hand between his legs and pulling up!.
  
  Report this comment
- spfoam1
  Posted on January 23, 2013 at 9:54pm
  @Chuck7884…….You say I do not know, based on what?
  
  Report this comment
- Chuck7884
  Posted on January 24, 2013 at 12:33pm
  The Drill Instructor (DI) infers that his Penis is a smooth bore gun.Hence this is my rifle this is my gun.
  
  Report this comment
KeystoneState
Posted on January 23, 2013 at 6:13pm
Ban Penises!

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SHASTADIANE1
Posted on January 23, 2013 at 6:13pm
Ouch!!!!

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RabidPatriot
Posted on January 23, 2013 at 6:12pm
I think he has suffered the max under the penal code.

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- EdtheK
  Posted on January 23, 2013 at 7:10pm
  Don’t you mean “penile” code?
  
  Report this comment
civilwarcometh
Posted on January 23, 2013 at 6:10pm
Will he get free health care in prison so he can finish the transformation process???

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- oneshiner
  Posted on January 23, 2013 at 6:16pm
  OUCH!. What does he think with now?
  
  Report this comment
tonypro
Posted on January 23, 2013 at 6:09pm
No comment

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whatthecrazy
Posted on January 23, 2013 at 6:09pm
Seems shooting your wang off would be punishment enough.

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U4eeeahhh
Posted on January 23, 2013 at 6:09pm
Is that a pistol in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?

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JohnTwoFeathers
Posted on January 23, 2013 at 6:08pm
Funniest thing I’ve heard all day.

Semper Fi

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- KeystoneState
  Posted on January 23, 2013 at 6:15pm
  A Marine would say that. Go Navy! Lol!
  
  Report this comment
gyro
Posted on January 23, 2013 at 6:08pm
Dam !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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justangry
Posted on January 23, 2013 at 6:08pm
Ouch, and so close to Carnival…

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- 1HonestInjun
  Posted on January 23, 2013 at 6:42pm
  This year he will dress like a transvestic.
  
  Report this comment
FlagWavingPatriot
Posted on January 23, 2013 at 6:06pm
This person was poorly trained.

This is not the proper way to **** a firearm.

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- FlagWavingPatriot
  Posted on January 23, 2013 at 6:39pm
  Ouch. I think, in this instance, the censors made this WORSE!
  
  The missing word rhymes with stock.
  
  Report this comment
- grimmster
  Posted on January 23, 2013 at 7:04pm
  @Flag.
  Yeah,it was too large of a calibre!;p And no high capicity cl!t……Sorry, couldnt resist,….
  
  Report this comment
neidermeyer
Posted on January 23, 2013 at 6:06pm
I miss the good old days when stupid traffic cops would bombard their testicles all day with a radar gun (convenient place to hold it) and give themselves cancer a few years later.

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- RJJinGadsden
  Posted on January 23, 2013 at 6:18pm
  I’ve operated traffic radar since early ’78. Not only is that the stupidest thing that I have read today, I’ve never seen anybody doing that. Been watching too many of those movies that show what real cops never do?
  
  Report this comment
- neidermeyer
  Posted on January 23, 2013 at 6:37pm
  ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/8213849
  
  Within a cohort of 340 police officers, six incident cases of testicular cancer occurred between 1979 and 1991 (O/E 6.9; p < 0.001, Poisson distribution). Occupational use of hand-held radar was the only shared risk factor among all six officers, and all routinely held the radar gun directly in close proximity to their testicles. Health effects of occupational radar use have not been widely studied, and further research into a possible association with testicular cancer is warranted.
  
  *********************************************
  It was common practice here … serves them right ,, thieves with badges.
  
  Report this comment
skippy6
Posted on January 23, 2013 at 6:05pm
OWWEEE!!!! Outside holsters for me only thank you….

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- Welcome Black Carter
  Posted on January 23, 2013 at 9:19pm
  This guy may be in the running for the 2013 Darwin Awards!
  
  Report this comment

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