Former Congressman Jesse Jackson Jr. admitted Wednesday to embezzling approximately $750,000 in campaign funds — and now faces more than two years in prison and a fine of up to $100,000, the AP notes.
“I did these things,” Jackson, 47, told a federal judge yesterday, adding later, “Sir, for years I lived in my campaign.”
What did he spend all that money on? Education? Medical bills? Cars? Nope! The bulk of it was spent on luxury items and knickknacks.
So, without any further introduction, here are the 15 most fabulous things the disgraced former congressman bought with stolen campaign funds, according to official court documents:
Gold-Plated Rolex: $43,350
Children’s furniture: $9,584
‘Porcelain collector’s items’: $1,553
Bruce Lee Memorabilia: $10,105
Michael Jackson Memorabilia: $14,200
Martin Luther King Jr. Memorabilia: $11,130
Michael Jackson Hat: $3,900
Michael Jackson & Eddie Van Halen Guitar: $4,000
[Full disclosure: I’d embezzle campaign cash if it meant getting my hands on the guitar used in “Beat It.”]
Malcolm X Memorabilia: $2,200
Jimi Hendrix Memorabilia: $2,775
Michael Jackson Fedora: $4,600
Mink Cashmere Cape (presumably for his co-conspirator wife): $800
Black & red Cashmere Cape: $1,500
Mink reversible Parka: $1,200
Black Fox Reversible: $1,500
Oh, junior: When the going got hot, you should have bailed. But now you’ve been caught and you’re gonna’ be jailed.
See what I did there? Jesse Jackson Sr. would be proud.
Here’s the full plea deal if, you know, you’re interested in reading it:
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(H/T: @dansinker). Featured images Tumblr.