
(Photo: Shutterstock.com)
For many, the stories they know from prison are from crafted Hollywood movies. But an Ask Reddit thread is pulling together some potential insider stories.
The social news website’s subforum Ask Reddit posed this question: “Ex cons of Reddit, what is the craziest thing or story you’ve heard or seen in prison?” Posted less than a day ago, it now has more than 4,500 comments.
Some of the stories are understandably disturbing and, it should be noted, that we can’t verify the whether they’re true or not.
The top rated comment, which was not written by an ex con, gives a movie-worthy plot line.
The Redditor going by ColdBlueZero wrote this account of his father who worked at the “county lockup” and his experience with an escapee:
He was generally well-liked by the inmates, to the point that a few times when I was with him as a kid, strange dudes would come up and thank him for being the ‘only one’ that treated them like humans. Anyway, they had an older inmate who was a very high-profile repeat escapee, and my dad would occasionally talk with the guy. Eventually the guy tells my dad that he could escape if he wanted to but he’s tired and could just use the break of staying inside for a while. My dad doubts the story, but casually agrees and thanks the guy for being cool and not causing trouble. Dad talks to his sup about it and the super decides that they want to see how this guy would get out. So they work it out with the guy that if he participates in a training exercise, he can get some credit on his time, all he has to do is escape to a certain point in the building, no negative consequences, but if he’s caught in the process the game is over and he shows them how he escaped and he goes back. I’m not sure what confidence they gave the guy that he wouldn’t get screwed over, but he agrees and a few days go by. While a very not-well-liked guard is doing rounds the old guy comes up missing. Like entirely missing. So now it’s super alert time all of the guards are called together and they’re looking for this guy inside. They go to the designated area, some kind of lock-through or sallyport, and there’s a note from the guy that says “keep looking”. They keep looking, and find him sitting in the cafeteria office eating pie and reading the newspaper.
In the course of three days he had managed to disassemble the light fixture that served his cell, remove the pigtail for the ground and a three foot section of ground wire, and three pieces of metal from inside the mounting box and the fixture. With those he fashioned a tool that allowed his door to be closed and appear to be locked by the through-bolt, but he could release the through bolt from the carrier and get it back out of the receiver. They guy proceeded to walk them through every step of the process and they ended up having to change a whole bunch of stuff on the unit so that the feat couldn’t be repeated.
In another story that has a darker outcome, ItsMrIncredible wrote that a prisoner with diabetes was denied medication because authorities didn’t believe him and he ended up dying a day later. This Redditor wrote that the authorities said they offered him insulin, but the prisoner refused it.
Another Redditor called up the story of a cancer patient who was treated in the hospital with chemotherapy, but was taken back to prison afterward.
“They stuck him in a cell and forgot about him. The other inmates were bringing him water because he couldn’t hold anything else down and sponge bathing him cause he couldn’t get off of his cot and he was covered in his own vomit, feces, and urine,” EmilyamI wrote and included this news article validating the claims.
Evesore, who was in jail for a day, shared this nugget of information:
For breakfast this one black guy seemed extra interested in getting my butter so I gave it to him. He rubbed it all over his feet. He said his feet would crack bad then bleed and he had no way of getting lotion; butter was the best he could do.
The Redditor SpecialCake wrote about cigarettes — how they’re made since they’re banned and how they’re lit.
SpecialCake wrote that bits of tobacco, called “rips,” from the butts of already smoked cigarettes are collected and then rolled into full cigarettes, called a “Cadillac.”
Although lighters and matches are of course banned, SpecialCake explained how cigarettes get burning:
But to get over the problem of not having fire, you could order AAA batteries and a radio on the commissary. You would take two of the batteries, and put one facing up and one down onto the metal toilet/sink surface. You then take your single bladed shaving razor and remove the single blade, then break it in half. When you put one half of that razor on the grounded positive side of one battery and the other on the grounded negative side on the other battery, then touch them together, they form a spark.
To turn a little spark like that into a fire, they would create a “wick”. They would make a wick by taking a bit of toilet paper, rolling it up tightly, then coating it with soap. The (very tiny) spark from the razors touching transfers to the wick, which is then moved up and down at just the right pace while blowing on it until, voila! Fire!
When I saw the guys pull it off I thought they were about to erupt into dance about it like Tom Hanks in Cast Away.
It can’t be verified whether these stories are true or not.
Redditor man_w_plan who claims to be a correction officer wrote that while many may be true, “some are probably greatly exaggerated.”
“We would not stand around denying anyone medicine because we are not evil people, but also we could not get away with doing something like that. The inmates in this prison receive better healthcare than most people on the street, access to nurses 24/7, and all medical procedures for very cheap (less than $5),” he wrote.
“Some of the inmates are good people who made mistakes, while others are deranged psychopaths or plain evil. However, our job is to treat them all fairly and consistently, and to enforce the rules,” man_w_plan wrote.
Although the purpose of such a thread appears to be just for sharing stories, as potterRiot put it, it also served as “a great way to deter me from ever committing a crime. Scared straight times ten.”
Featured image via Shutterstock.com.





















































































































addisamba
Feb. 26, 2013 at 12:36pmI know an EMT who used to run ambulances into federal and state pens. He told me they normally got in and out pretty quickly; but if the patient was a trouble maker or especially hated for whatever reason – someone the guards would just as soon see “never come back” – they would really take their time searching the ambulance; give it the good twice-over. For security’s sake, of course.
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Smith29-2
Feb. 25, 2013 at 11:17pmI have been working in a jail for a long time, and the stuff I have seen will boggle the mind of the average person. My very first time in training checking a rec yard with my training officer I found a shank. A toothbrush filed down. We had an inmate take the metal handle from a mop bucket and stick it up his **** to sneak in and out the bags of heroin on him. I have seen guys get stabbed, I have seen a few try to kill themselves in various ways. I have met murderers of woman and children. I have seen officers second guessed by those in charge simply because someone complained or the inmate had someone in the family connected to someone rich and powerful. It is a thankless, tough job that has one of the highest suicide rate (one of my Sergeants killed himself), alcoholism rate, and divorce rates. It is not a job for everyone. When you walk into a day room and there are 40 plus inmates and you are out with them, no bars separate you, if they want to get you they will. So yes there is a level of respect on both sides, there has to be. In a county jail it is a different setting, you have guys in there for open container laws and stupid stuff on up to people for murder. You need to deal with each and every one. You can still show authority without being a total ***hole. Respect and being fair is not a sign of weakness. It is a tough job and I know when I die I am going to heaven because I have done my time in hell.
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Dudley Do-Right
Feb. 26, 2013 at 10:24amHi Brother
They put this guy with me in the dayroom on his first day. I said Mickey, if a fight breaks out you get the big guy. He did!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZP-IfSZxl0
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KickinBack
Feb. 25, 2013 at 7:21pmWhen these guys want a smoke, they become regular MacGyver. But threaten to take away welfare from people who get around in Mercedes, and Obama will have you believing that “poor” people will be dropping like flies.
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HYPNOTOAD
Feb. 26, 2013 at 1:02pmYes, If these lib losers would put half the brain power they use to steal and cheat into something productive, they would be a huge success.
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Dudley Do-Right
Feb. 25, 2013 at 6:34pmI worked in a medium security prison for 30 years and I could tell you stories you wouldn’t believe. Tattoo guns are made from small motors wherever they could find them, fans, computers etc. Homebrew is made in trashbags by smuggling juice and sugar from the kitchen. A few slices of bread thrown in for yeast and in a couple of days, they’re straining it through a pair of socks and ready to party. I’ve seen them stick lead from a pencil in their electrical outlets to light there butts. Where I worked a “Cadillac” was a real cigarette that sold for $10.00 and would be broken up and re-rolled into three smaller ones using toilet paper wrapper. Some of the guards would chew tobacco and smuggle it in for their own use but spit into waste paper buckets used at their officers stations. Well the inmates would usually empty those baskets, retrieve the spit out tobacco, rinse it and roll it up and smoke or sell it. We once confiscated a toaster made from two 90 watt light bulbs wired together and a slice of bread placed between them. I once shook down an inmate who had 40 bags of heroine, a quarter oz of pot, about a dozen cigarettes, a Bic lighter and a crack pipe all stuck up his ****. They call that “The Safe”. I sure don’t miss the place. When people would ask me where I worked, I’d tell them the Enchanted Kingdom.
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MrKnowItAll
Feb. 25, 2013 at 6:06pmPreparing us all for being Locked Up!
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Slowman101
Feb. 25, 2013 at 5:48pmJesse Jackson Jr. will be somebodys prison bit*h.
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KingCoal59
Feb. 25, 2013 at 5:11pmthe cigarette the battery the escape all true some of the medical likely true but this depends on the prison, i work in a prison medical and this wouldn’t happen there but our medical department is not contracted out it is local with real people and the dr is local. we have a budget but it is not for someone’s profit we pay the dr a salary and the rest of the budget goes for patient treatment..
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MCON29
Feb. 25, 2013 at 4:43pmI used to work in a jail. I’m sure some of the stories are true and some exagerated. Most inmates do get very good, cheap healthcare. But if you have a lazy nurse working that shift, some issues slip through the cracks. Also, you have the issue of inmates not telling staff members about previous medical conditions so when they dont get treatment they can sue.
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6bedlamites
Feb. 25, 2013 at 3:08pmMy dad worked at Folsom prison, (yep, Johnny Cash’s Folsom) and I went on a tour through, and it was 5 hrs long and I felt like only a hour had past. You would not believe what these guys come up with! I believe every word of it! They showed us some of the stuff they confiscated from them. It was unbelievable! So many smart and intelligent people letting their talents go to waste. My dad always said there are some bad people at work and some of them were they inmates. (lots of corruption)
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comforteagle
Feb. 25, 2013 at 2:21pmPretty soon this site is just going to be a subreddit /r/theblaze
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JimMadsen
Feb. 25, 2013 at 2:19pmI believe most of the stuff here except the “escape” and the butter. Butter and condiments are not usually handed out and lotion usually is available. As for the medical problems, yup I can believe that. I have picked people up in prisons, had family experience, and talked to former inmates. I believe what they have said. In prison, you are a forth class citizen and don’t you forget it.
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Welcome Black Carter
Feb. 25, 2013 at 9:15pmAs it should be.
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Disgusted_in_CT
Feb. 25, 2013 at 2:11pmOkay here is a real prison story from the horses mouth.
A gay inmate gets caught passing a love letter to another gay inmate in a common area outside the unit-(against the rules).
Upon reading the letter, the gist is the day before he pretended the guy was with him by using a summer sausage that is sold in comminssary -(yes that way)
The next day working in the unit the officer kept saying to the inmate snasausages every time he saw him -(he knew this inmate as the inmate had worked for the officer as a laundry worker in prison before and was joking with him)
Well the inmate food server and a inmate janitor overheard this and asked why the officer kept saying that.
When he explained why the two inmates got a sick look on their faces.
Seems the guy in question had left his cell door open the day before and the sausage was sitting on his table.
The two inmates quickly stole it and proceeded to eat it.
Yes the same sausage from the letter.
Sidenote, the officer didn’t write up the two inmates for theft as he felt they had been punished enough.
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huey6367
Feb. 25, 2013 at 1:49pmMy understanding is that they have all the time in the world and get very creative. MacGuyver-like. I guess when you have nothing else to do, the mind becomes a very powerful tool.
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wilbstal
Feb. 25, 2013 at 1:40pmif we dont shoot straighter we might be in there be sharp when they come kill them for sure
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huey6367
Feb. 25, 2013 at 1:54pmI think there are three sentences in that post. Could you use punctuation so your post can be understood?
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jackact
Feb. 25, 2013 at 1:31pmThings for Jesse Jackson Jr. to experience.
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