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Biden Is ‘Dumb as an Ashtray’: The Best Parts From the ‘Vanity Fair’ Preview of the New Roger Ailes Biography

Mar. 6, 2013 10:17am Eddie Scarry

Fox News Chairman and CEO Roger Ailes visits the studio of Fox Business Morning during its debut on Monday, Oct. 15, 2007 in New York. Two years in the making, Fox Business Channel will challenge General Electric Co.’s highly profitable CNBC network as it seeks to redefine business news for average Americans faced with increasingly complex decisions about their financial futures. (AP Photo/Mark Lennihan)

Vanity Fair published a three-page (online) excerpt from a new, extensive biography on Fox News CEO Roger Ailes by Zev Chafets. Chafets is well-known for a biography he wrote on conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh.

The Ailes bio, “Roger Ailes: Off Camera,” is due out in book stores Mar. 19. TheBlaze pulled some of the highlights from the VF preview.

Roger Ailes and his boss Rupert Murdoch are close friends “to a point.”: “Murdoch often drops by Ailes’s office to joke and gossip about politics. ‘Roger and I have a close personal friendship,’ he told me. Ailes agrees—up to a point.

“‘Does Rupert like me? I think so, but it doesn’t matter. When I go up to the magic room in the sky every three months, if my numbers are right, I get to live. If not, I’m killed. Our relationship isn’t about love—it’s about arithmetic. Survival means hitting your numbers. I’ve met or exceeded mine in 56 straight quarters. The reason is: I treat Rupert’s money like it is mine.’”

“A Prick”: What Ailes thinks of former House Speaker Newt Gingrich: “One day during the 2012 primary season, Newt Gingrich complained that Fox News’s support for Mitt Romney was responsible for Gingrich’s poor showing. Rick Santorum had made a similar claim when he dropped out of the race. Gingrich and Santorum had been Fox commentators before getting into the race, and Ailes found their complaints self-serving and disloyal. Brian Lewis, his spokesman, asked Ailes for guidance on how to respond to Newt. ‘Brush him back,’ Ailes said. ‘He’s a sore loser and if he had won he would have been a sore winner.’ Lewis nodded.

“Ailes was silent for a moment and then added, ‘Newt’s a prick.’”

Ailes has a “soft spot” for the vice president: “‘I like Marco Rubio,’ Ailes told a staff meeting of Fox News Latino when talk about the Florida senator being Mitt Romney’s vice-presidential pick was at fever pitch. ‘But I don’t know about as a vice-presidential candidate. He’s a nice guy, and that role requires kicking the crap out of your opponents.’ He paused, thinking about vice presidents he had known. ‘I have a soft spot for Joe Biden,’ he said. ‘I like him. But he’s dumb as an ashtray.’”

As for President Obama, he’s “lazy”: “‘Obama’s the one who never worked a day in his life. He never earned a penny that wasn’t public money. How many fund-raisers does he attend every week? How often does he play basketball and golf? I wish I had that kind of time. He’s lazy, but the media won’t report that.’ He noticed my arched eyebrows and added, ‘I didn’t come up with that. Obama said that, to Barbara Walters.’ (What Obama said was that he feels a laziness in himself that he attributes to his laid-back upbringing in Hawaii.)”

Ailes once met with Obama, who had complaints specifically about Sean Hannity: “After some pleasantries, [then-Sen.] Obama got to the point. He was concerned about the way he was being portrayed on Fox, and his real issue wasn’t the news; it was Sean Hannity, who had been battering him every night at nine (and on his radio show, which Fox doesn’t own or control). Ailes didn’t deny that Hannity was anti-Obama. He simply told the candidate not to worry about it. ‘Nobody who watches Sean’s going to vote for you anyway,’ he said.

He considers himself “a bad ass”: “Ailes revels in his image as a tough-guy. He is fond of recalling rougher times, like the night he punched a hole in the wall of an NBC control room where he was producing The Tomorrow Show. ‘It was just a drywall, and luckily I didn’t hit any beams. But somebody put a frame around the hole and wrote, “don’t mess with roger ailes.” If you have a reputation as a badass, you don’t need to fight.’”

On the after life: “‘Because of my hemophilia, I’ve been prepared to face death all of my life. As a boy I spent a lot of time in hospitals. My parents had to leave at the end of visiting hours, and I spent a lot of time just lying there in the dark, thinking about the fact that any accident could be dangerous or even fatal. So I’m ready. Everybody fears the unknown. But I have a strong feeling there’s something bigger than us. I don’t think all this exists because some rocks happened to collide. I’m at peace. When it comes, I’ll be fine, calm. I’ll miss life, though. Especially my family.’ …

“‘I’m pretty sure that God’s got a sense of humor,’ he said. ‘I think he gets a laugh out of me from time to time, so I suppose things will be all right.’

‘”What if you get there and it turns out that God is a liberal?’ I asked.

“‘Ailes paused. It was something that evidently hadn’t occurred to him. ‘Well, hell, if God’s a liberal, that’s his business,’ he said. He paused again, imagining it. ‘But I doubt very much that he is. He’s got a good heart.’”

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Comments (87)

pap pap
Posted on March 6, 2013 at 1:38pm
Biden is a very entertaining idiot. I’m glad he’s on their side.

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- Chinishque
  Posted on March 6, 2013 at 3:49pm
  He is not funny or entertaining anymore…he is just a buffoon and distraction that is in office to distract people like a court jester so that the king can look regal and intelligent in comparison. He is part of the three card monti team where the dealer runs the cards while the rube is distracted by an idiot and another person picks his pocket.
  
  YES PEOPLE, WE ARE THE RUBES!
  
  Report this comment
- Armed Patriot
  Posted on March 6, 2013 at 10:38pm
  My quote is still… “Dumber than a box of rocks”!!!! And he is only one breath away??? God has surely turned his back on us for turning our back on him… 50M+ abortions since Roe v. Wade, God out of schools… Allah is in. Homosexuality and bestiality is ok??? Confiscation of 60+% in taxes to the govt is ok, when God only asks for 10%??? Gays in the military, death in video games, being paid for not working??? Galatians 6:5, For each will have to bear his own load, 2 Thessalonians 3:10, Even while we were with you, we gave you this command: Those unwilling to work will not get to eat.
  
  Revelation 6:6 Then I heard what sounded like a voice among the four living creatures, saying, “A quart of wheat for a day’s wages, and three quarts of barley for a day’s wages, and do not damage the oil and the wine!” Ive been trying to figure out who HE is… I thought the Third Horseman, NO, Beelzebub, variously understood to mean lord of the flies or Ba’al. In the Testament of Solomon, Beelzebub appears as prince of the demons and says (6.2) that he was formerly a leading heavenly angel . Beelzebub claims to cause destruction through tyrants, to cause demons to be worshiped among men, to excite priests to lust, to cause jealousies in cities and murders, and to bring on war.
  
  “Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter..”
  -Isaiah 5:20
  
  Report this comment
- Armed Patriot
  Posted on March 6, 2013 at 10:41pm
  My quote is still… “Dumber than a box of rocks”!!!! And he is only one breath away??? God has surely turned his back on us for turning our back on him… 50M+ abortions since Roe v. Wade, God out of schools… Allah is in. Homosexuality and bestiality is ok??? Confiscation of 60+% in taxes to the govt is ok, when God only asks for 10%??? Gays in the military, death in video games, being paid for not working??? Galatians 6:5, For each will have to bear his own load, 2 Thessalonians 3:10, Even while we were with you, we gave you this command: Those unwilling to work will not get to eat.
  
  Revelation 6:6 Then I heard what sounded like a voice among the four living creatures, saying, “A quart of wheat for a day’s wages, and three quarts of barley for a day’s wages, and do not damage the oil and the wine!” Ive been trying to figure out who HE is… I thought the Third Horseman, NO, Beelzebub, variously understood to mean lord of the flies or Ba’al. In the Testament of Solomon, Beelzebub appears as prince of the demons and says (6.2) that he was formerly a leading heavenly angel . Beelzebub claims to cause destruction through tyrants, to cause demons to be worshiped among men, to excite priests to lust, to cause jealousies in cities and murders, and to bring on war.
  
  “Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter..”
  -Isaiah 5:20
  
  Report this comment
- Armed Patriot
  Posted on March 6, 2013 at 10:53pm
  For those in Rio Linda… HE is the Anointed one. B.H. MMM MMM MMM Nobama. The TRAITOR In Chief.
  
  Report this comment
Uechi
Posted on March 6, 2013 at 12:16pm
That’s an insult to all the sefl respecting ash trays in the world.

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- turnabout
  Posted on March 6, 2013 at 3:49pm
  But the non-self-respecting ones have gladly made him their god.
  
  Report this comment
does this burka make me look fat?
Posted on March 6, 2013 at 12:01pm
Biden Is ‘Dumb as an Ashtray’….wouldn’t “Asstray” be more appropriate?

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- RJJinGadsden
  Posted on March 6, 2013 at 12:11pm
  Yeah, LOL!
  
  Report this comment
- mollymmmo
  Posted on March 6, 2013 at 1:45pm
  ‘ASSTRAY’ good one !
  
  Report this comment
jocko
Posted on March 6, 2013 at 11:47am
Americans die, Obama/Biden/Clinton lie

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shorelineliz
Posted on March 6, 2013 at 11:45am
I just HATE to see ashtrays insulted that way!

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LukeAppling
Posted on March 6, 2013 at 11:13am
Ailes is giving the ashtray more respect than it deserves, Biden is simply dumb and Delaware should be ashamed at what their citizens have kept in office.

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- JRook
  Posted on March 6, 2013 at 11:26am
  “But he’s dumb as an ashtray.’” Geez this doesn’t leave much room for M. Bachmann, Christine O’donnell and Sharon Angle.
  
  Report this comment
- RJJinGadsden
  Posted on March 6, 2013 at 12:13pm
  JCROOK, Yep, they must also have said something like just fire the shotgun through the door. Intellectualism prevails in your camp, doesn’t it?
  
  Report this comment
- JRook
  Posted on March 6, 2013 at 4:10pm
  @RJJinGadsden Good point I stand corrected have to leave room for the morons who voted for Bachmann, O’donnell and Angle. Please tell me your not going to put any of them up as being intelligent.
  
  Report this comment
- AvengerK
  Posted on March 6, 2013 at 4:16pm
  Yes JCROOK after all…they’re the ones that don’t know the phrase in the Austrian Language right? Do you remember who said that gem?
  
  Report this comment
- AvengerK
  Posted on March 6, 2013 at 4:32pm
  Well let’s see JCROOK….Bachmann was for the troop surge in Iraq. Biden worked against it. Biden wanted to carve Iraq up into three parts.
  You really want to go with this do you?
  You know who else is dumb as an ashtray JCROOK? You.
  
  Report this comment
Inform
Posted on March 6, 2013 at 11:07am
If the debates showed anything…

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RedDirtTexas
Posted on March 6, 2013 at 11:07am
Not a damn thing here we didn’t already know. Non-news is good news?

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ArmedAndReallyPissed
Posted on March 6, 2013 at 11:02am
Biden Is ‘Dumb as an Ashtray’:……………………………………………………………………………………….

Too much credit. WAY TOO MUCH. But he sure knows how to “Smoke Pole” well.

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- Pat Houseworth
  Posted on March 6, 2013 at 12:44pm
  We know his boss is a Pole Smoker…Biden is just a Gawd Damn Fool….
  
  Report this comment
Verceofreason
Posted on March 6, 2013 at 11:00am
The poor dear is confusing Obama with Paul Ryan and his wife.

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- AvengerK
  Posted on March 6, 2013 at 4:45pm
  It hurts knowing Obama never earned a single paycheck from the private sector doesn’t it VERCEOFDORAGASBAG? He’s been on the government teat thoughout his adult life. Even as a lawyer he represented non-profits.
  As a senator he voted “present” 130 times in his short tenure. Even his “memoir” Dreams from my Father was ghost written by Bill Ayers. He was a do-nothing Senator and now he’s a do-nothing president.
  
  Report this comment
Verceofreason
Posted on March 6, 2013 at 10:59am
From the man who hired Sarah Palin.
If Biden’s an ashtray, Palin’s a saggy ****.

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- Gonzo
  Posted on March 6, 2013 at 11:15am
  Thanks for your continued input. It always assures me I’m on the right side.
  
  Report this comment
- BARRYS_BEARD
  Posted on March 6, 2013 at 12:10pm
  I’m with GONZO.
  
  Dora, your intellect in only slightly higher than Mr. Plugs. And in case you’re wondering, that’s not a compliment to either one of you.
  
  Report this comment
- RJJinGadsden
  Posted on March 6, 2013 at 12:17pm
  GONZO, Damn, makes me think of my response yesterday about that sex activist instructor at Columbia. After responding to VERCEOFREASON do you also feel the need to take a shower?
  
  Report this comment
- rosegrower
  Posted on March 6, 2013 at 12:25pm
  Barrys_Beard
  I think you’re being much to generous to Verse. He never comes across as anything short of imbecilic and certainly half-witted. Biden occasionally trips into sounding lucid, which for an ashtray, is just plain good luck.
  
  Report this comment
- marvlus
  Posted on March 6, 2013 at 2:42pm
  Wow. Your name is Dora? No wonder you call yourself verce.
  
  Report this comment
- YOURSENSEI
  Posted on March 6, 2013 at 4:17pm
  Mr or MS VERCEOFREASON,
  
  This is what you must know:
  
  Ah yes, that reminds me of a time decades ago when I was doing something really important in a far away land. I recall planes and clouds and a wall and if I’m not mistaken there were doors on the front of buildings. This was back when I was confusing to some with me but they came around when I told them how smart I was. Ah yes, those were heady times. Then there was another time I’m reminded of, decades ago, when I was doing something even more important (and more than a little manly) in a place far from these American shores. Yes, I recall horses and some uniforms of some sort. And warm beer. That reminds me of another time decades ago before I came to live strictly in the past when I had a real life and not just fading memories and unfulfilled dreams. Wait, was that me talking?
  
  It is so.
  
  Report this comment
- AvengerK
  Posted on March 6, 2013 at 4:42pm
  Really VERCEOFDORAGASBAG? You’re choosing to ignore Joe’s horrendous plugs?
  
  Report this comment
The Big Mick
Posted on March 6, 2013 at 10:47am
I thought some really good General got fired for saying “Joe Biteme”?

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- Gonzo
  Posted on March 6, 2013 at 10:55am
  Another one just got canned for telling POTUS his exit strategy from Afghanistan is FUBAR.
  
  Report this comment
- YOURSENSEI
  Posted on March 6, 2013 at 5:03pm
  This is what you must know:
  
  Nothing compares to Shinseki.
  
  It is so.
  
  Report this comment
PurrrpleMtnMajesty
Posted on March 6, 2013 at 10:46am
Power hungry people, and those who wish to be noticed will always choose people who are “inferior” in many ways. That’s what make them stand out. THey don’t wish to be outdone, out shined, or out smarted. Have you ever known a dictator with an exceptionally bright right hand man? (Or one who is especially charismatic?) VPs typically are choesn to bolster their leader in agreement, then disappear behind the scenes while making the other group perceive them as someone formidable. That’s my take on it any way.

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- searcher619
  Posted on March 6, 2013 at 11:10am
  VP really doesn’t have a job. They just hang around and do PR for the sitting president. This is why I don’t get why so many people put so much importance on VP. BFD Beiden is VP. He has zero say on anything. The only plus to his being VP is the constant stream of comedic gold he provides.
  
  Report this comment
SpankDaMonkey
Posted on March 6, 2013 at 10:45am
.
I wish Roger would have told us how he really feels…………

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huey6367
Posted on March 6, 2013 at 10:43am
This is insulting to ash trays everywhere.

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paulwbrown
Posted on March 6, 2013 at 10:43am
The caption is insulting to ashtrays everywhere!

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Mainer forever
Posted on March 6, 2013 at 10:39am
Biden is as dumb as an ash tray for sure…and Obama is Lazy!!! I too hope GOD has a sense of humor.

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- huey6367
  Posted on March 6, 2013 at 10:55am
  I hope God can help us make things right by 2017 or before.
  
  Report this comment
- Salamander
  Posted on March 6, 2013 at 11:16am
  Obama IS the realization of God’s sense of humor–and a warning to us all! Do your civic duty or suffer the consequences! Please read Booker T. Washington’s book “Up from Slavery”! It is so ‘on point’, a guide for ALL citizens as to the qualities we need to work our way out of this current mess!
  
  Report this comment
ltb
Posted on March 6, 2013 at 10:37am
Biden is dumb as an ashtray, but sadly he’s the second smartest liberal in America.

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- Mainer forever
  Posted on March 6, 2013 at 11:16am
  Now that comment was funny!!! Thanks for the laugh!!
  
  Report this comment
thegreatcarnac
Posted on March 6, 2013 at 10:36am
Roger Ailes is right…,biden is as ‘dumb as an ashtray’. In fact…I thought he was an ashtray the first time I saw him on TV. I saw obama put his cigarette ashes in biden’s ****.

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JJohnGalt2
Posted on March 6, 2013 at 10:36am
“…..Ailes didn’t deny that Hannity was anti-Obama. He simply told the candidate not to worry about it. ‘Nobody who watches Sean’s going to vote for you anyway,’ he said.”
That is the most truthful fact of all. Hannity is hurting the GOP a lot more than you think.
Hannity should get another line of work.

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- PurrrpleMtnMajesty
  Posted on March 6, 2013 at 10:49am
  I disagree.
  Besides,Sean doesn’t represent the GOP, he represents the Conservative point of view.
  
  Report this comment
- 13th Imam
  Posted on March 6, 2013 at 10:49am
  Hannity has NOT created one LAW, added any TAXES, ignored any existing law to affect our country.
  
  Barry on the other hand, has , by EVERYTHING he does.
  
  Report this comment
- kadster01
  Posted on March 6, 2013 at 11:10am
  Hannity is not part of the GOP. He is not a politician. He is a conservative TALK SHOW HOST. The GOP does more harm to itself than anyone outside it could possibly do.
  
  Report this comment
- The Big Mick
  Posted on March 6, 2013 at 11:11am
  Ahhh, VREAR’s “P”alin envy is showing again.
  
  Report this comment
- JJohnGalt2
  Posted on March 6, 2013 at 3:05pm
  Hannity “conservative” my azz. He just talks the talk, but can’t walk the walk, furthermore he does not have the intellectual capacity to articulate it correctly. He is one of those talk show hosts that exploits the GOP and other so-called “conservatives”. In other words he is an act supported by a bunch of know-nothings.
  
  Report this comment
elosogrande
Posted on March 6, 2013 at 10:35am
Biden may be “as dumb as an ashtray, but an ashtray at least has a purpose in this great country of ours.

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Gonzo
Posted on March 6, 2013 at 10:34am
“Obama’s the one who never worked a day in his life.” Which explains his enthusiasm to enable others who wish to pursue the same lifestyle.

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- SREGN
  Posted on March 6, 2013 at 10:48am
  47% now and rising.
  
  Report this comment
13th Imam
Posted on March 6, 2013 at 10:33am
Roger is a guy I’d like to have a few cocktails with. The conversation would be interesting. At least to me.

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- Gonzo
  Posted on March 6, 2013 at 10:44am
  I’m guessing hemophiliacs can’t drink. Thinning the blood is probably not a good idea.
  
  Report this comment
Blivit
Posted on March 6, 2013 at 10:32am
i think he insulted the ash tray.

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- objectivetruth
  Posted on March 6, 2013 at 10:44am
  It is.The ash tray has a purpose.
  
  Report this comment
- BARRYS_BEARD
  Posted on March 6, 2013 at 12:22pm
  Joe Plugs Biden has a purpose – to keep the Kenyan Maggot alive. He is Barry’s life insurance.
  
  Report this comment
Zipit
Posted on March 6, 2013 at 10:28am
“‘Obama’s the one who never worked a day in his life. He never earned a penny that wasn’t public money.”

Biden, ” I like him. But he’s dumb as an ashtray”

Pretty much sums it up! Don’t ya think?

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- YOURSENSEI
  Posted on March 6, 2013 at 5:28pm
  Mr or Ms ZIPIT,
  
  This is what you must know:
  
  Not quite. Here, this will sum it up even better;
  
  “May 17, 1986. A moment I’ve been dreading. George brought his ne’er-do-well son around this morning and asked me to find the kid a job. Not the political one who lives in Florida. The one who hangs around here all the time looking shiftless. This so-called kid is already almost 40 and has never had a real job. Maybe I’ll call Kinsley over at The New Republic and see if they’ll hire him as a contributing editor or something. That looks like easy work.” – Ronald Reagan diary entry about his vice president’s son, George W Bush.
  
  It is so.
  
  Report this comment
- Zipit
  Posted on March 7, 2013 at 9:18am
  WANG! I’ve read that before and got a good chuckle, as Reagan, a man with a great sense of humor did when he penned it! Na’er-do-well and shiftless is much better than “dumb as an ashtray”,
  
  Report this comment
- YOURSENSEI
  Posted on March 7, 2013 at 10:36am
  Mr or Ms ZIPIT,
  
  This is what you must know:
  
  Yeah, that Reagan, what a joker. Know what made me laugh? When Reagan went on national TV, stared every American right in the eye and said:
  
  “The charge has been made that the United Staes shipped weapons to Iran as ransom payment for the release of American hostages in Lebanon, that the United States undercut its allies and secretly violated American policy against trafficking with terrorists. Those charges are utterly false.”
  
  What a joker that guy was, eh? Forming a secret government, him and his henchmen organizing, and profiting from, the sale of weapons to Iranian terrorists. Makes me giggle just thinking about it.
  
  It is so.
  
  Report this comment
- Zipit
  Posted on March 7, 2013 at 6:45pm
  Nice try Wang! Baseless speculation now as it was then! I bet you really get your panties stuck up your crack when someone mentions Ollie North!!!!
  
  Report this comment
- YOURSENSEI
  Posted on March 8, 2013 at 10:35am
  Mr or Ms ZIPIT,
  
  This is what you must know:
  
  baseless speculation? Let me clear that up for you:
  
  “A few months ago I told the American people I did not trade arms for hostages. My heart and my best intentions still tell me that’s true, but the facts and the evidence tell me it is not. As the Tower board reported, what began as a strategic opening into Iran deteriorated in its implementation into trading arms for hostages . . . As personally distasteful as I find secret bank accounts and diverted funds, this happened on my watch.” – Ronald Reagan
  
  Seems Reagan agrees with me and not you. And yes, Ollie North is a joke.
  
  But please, try again. There are near infinite examples of your misdirected allegiance to discuss.
  
  It is so.
  
  Report this comment

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