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Why Are Pop Tarts the New Frontier for Pro-Gun Legislators? Find Out Here

Mar. 10, 2013 9:15pm Mytheos Holt

The phrase, “First they came for X” might be used as shorthand for fear of insurgent totalitarianism, but until now, probably no one thought that the phrase “First they came for the Pop Tarts” would be one iteration.

Maryland second grader Josh Welch apparently had a love of the well-known toaster pastries, which his mother had packed as a lunch for him. He also may have had an active imagination, because while eating one of his Pop Tarts, he either consciously or unconsciously managed to eat the object such that it ended up being shaped to look like a gun by his bites. Then again, it may have been his teacher who had the overactive imagination, because the question of whether the pastry actually did look like a gun is an open one. The Daily Caller reports:

Josh Welch, a second-grader at Park Elementary School in Baltimore, Maryland, was suspended for two days because his teacher thought he shaped the strawberry, pre-baked toaster pastry into something resembling a gun. WBFF, the FOX affiliate in Baltimore, broke the story.

Josh Welch (Photo Credit: AP)

Welch, an arty kid who has reportedly been diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, said his goal was to turn it into a mountain, but that didn’t really materialize, reports Fox News.

“It was already a rectangle. I just kept on biting it and biting it and tore off the top of it and kind of looked like a gun,” he said.

“But it wasn’t,” the seven-year-old astutely added.[...]

According to the boy’s father, school officials say Welch also said “Bang, bang” while holding the breakfast pastry.

Maryland Legislator Introduces Bill Banning Suspension Over Minor Offenses Regarding Firearms

Josh Welch’s Pop Tart (Photo Credit: AP)

Reportedly, the sight of a Pop Tart was deemed so traumatic by the school that other children were offered counseling. Welch himself was subsequently suspended, to great public outcry — such great public outcry that a Maryland state legislator has proposed a bill called “The Reasonable School Discipline Act,” forbidding suspension in response to such trivial offenses. The Easton Star Democrat reports:

In light of recent headlines highlighting more incidents of administrators removing students from school for seemingly harmless acts of childish imagination, state Sen. J. B. Jennings, R-7-Baltimore and Harford counties, said he thought the time was right to introduce a bill he hopes will put a dent in “zero tolerance” discipline policies in Maryland public schools.

“We really need to reevaluate how kids are punished,” he said in an interview with The Star Democrat Friday.[...]

The bill, entitled “Education [-] The Reasonable School Discipline Act of 2013,” proposes what Jennings called in his press release clear, straightforward guidelines on what is and what is not acceptable when handling matters that amount to “children being children.” The bill describes appropriate discipline that must be adhered to during counseling students of all grade levels in any Maryland school that uses public funds, stated Jennings. The bill includes a counseling and disciplinary protocol for violations by school administrators.

According to Jennings, another of the bill’s provisions makes it impossible for minor incidents, such as those in the recent news, from being entered into the students’ permanent academic record, unless it involves an upper-school student intent on repeatedly violating school policies with regards to firearms and/or violence.

No opposition has been forthcoming yet, but Jennings reportedly expects it from school boards anxious to preserve their autonomy, and to keep their classrooms safe from the scourge of gun-shaped toaster pastries. Little Josh Welch’s father, however, may have comforting words for them.

“It’s a pastry, you know,” Welch’s father told WBFF, the local Fox affiliate.

–

In CONTROL, Glenn Beck presents a passionate, fact-based case for guns that reveals why gun control isn’t really about controlling guns at all; it’s about controlling us. Find out more HERE.

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Comments (79)

sligresda
Posted on March 10, 2013 at 10:32pm
im sorry but i am really offended that this article calls pop tarts a pastry. pastries are good, pop tarts good for nothin. yuck.

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- Ilivewayupthere
  Posted on March 10, 2013 at 11:01pm
  Bloomburg’s next victom. The pop tart.
  
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- oldguy49
  Posted on March 10, 2013 at 11:54pm
  is there something in the water up in yankee land……………..
  
  Report this comment
- Pontiaku
  Posted on March 11, 2013 at 12:39am
  I’d actually eat poptarts if they cut about 2/3rds the sugar out of them. Or more.
  
  Report this comment
- FieldJudge
  Posted on March 11, 2013 at 2:48am
  Ut oh… Looks like a B2 bomber kid.
  Off with his head!
  This is what ZERO tolerance morphs into and breeds like…
  Being adapted to control and indoctrinate our children and society.
  
  Hey! Who at Park Elementary Liberal Nut Farm left the gate open?
  
  Report this comment
- tajloc
  Posted on March 11, 2013 at 9:19am
  Sell the thing on ebay. A momento of when pop tart control begins. Beware of how you point your finger little kids. The thought police are out there.
  
  Report this comment
- ltb
  Posted on March 11, 2013 at 12:13pm
  Mmmmm, Pop Tarts. Taste really good with lion meat.
  
  Report this comment
justiceday
Posted on March 10, 2013 at 10:23pm
First of all there was a Roseanne episode where DJ did the same thing at home, he walked into a room and said I just made a gun out of my pop tart. Second if this traumatizes kids, seeing something that has a similar shape to a gun, which a lot of things can, then this country is in trouble. The atrocities kids have seen through the centuries, and a pop tart upset these kids?
And if people are worried about a Pop Tart they should be more worried about this http://www.theusmarinesrape.com/HideTheTruth.html

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zombieocracy
Posted on March 10, 2013 at 10:20pm
This just in: the Taliban has designed a new IED modeled on Skittles. Feinstein is getting behind. Maybe literally.

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- TurboCat
  Posted on March 11, 2013 at 2:39am
  I hope that in his Bill it DOES require these school employees to have mandatory counseling for their MASS HYSTERIA!!!!! And may it be seriously intensive therapy for their paranoia.
  
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OlefromMN
Posted on March 10, 2013 at 10:18pm
“an arty kid who has reportedly been diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder”

In other words an average 7 year old boy.

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- momrules
  Posted on March 10, 2013 at 10:31pm
  Exactly Olefrommn………….An average seven year old boy. That is what they used to be called before it was determined that drugs and a new label would help maintain order in the classroom and relieve parental stress at home.
  
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The-Monk
Posted on March 10, 2013 at 10:10pm
Good thing that Pop Tart didn’t have an image of Jesus or Mother Mary on it.

Otherwise the progressives would ban all Religions except Sharia Law which does not allow any images of their prophet Mo- whatever his name is- to be displayed. Ha-med? Mo-Ha-med? Moe Zark?

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maggiepie
Posted on March 10, 2013 at 10:07pm
All this is so stupid, I can’t even think of anything intelligent to say about it.
What kind of wimps is this country breeding?

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Oath-keeper
Posted on March 10, 2013 at 9:57pm
This just in from California, Feinstein just announced her new “assault tart ban” waiting for Gerbil Brown to sign it on Monday. I implore all of you to please write or call your representatives before this bill is signed into law. In other news 30,000 more illegals allowed to cross the border into California welcomed with the newly adopted dream package paid for by the tax payers, included in the dream package free healthcare, free food stamps, free retirement, free housing, free college tuition.. Related story Mexico’s president signed a bill making it a felony for American citizens to cross border w pop tarts punishable by life in Tijuana jail.

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Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra
Posted on March 10, 2013 at 9:54pm
I looks like a B-2. Oh the horror, it could Nuke the place and no one would see it coming.

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- marine249
  Posted on March 10, 2013 at 10:05pm
  that is does
  
  Report this comment
- SUNTZU
  Posted on March 10, 2013 at 10:26pm
  I was thinking the same
  or one of DHS drones
  
  Report this comment
- The-Monk
  Posted on March 10, 2013 at 11:16pm
  Hi Darmok,
  
  I’d like to see the pop-tart version of the P-51D…. a true fighter aircraft if there ever was one.
  
  “Is that Strawberry jam on your shirt or are you just freshly killed….”
  
  Report this comment
Melvin Spittle
Posted on March 10, 2013 at 9:51pm
I don’t see a gun. I see the state of Idaho on its side. It also looks a little remotely like a pop-tart with a few bites.

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Oath-keeper
Posted on March 10, 2013 at 9:49pm
Feinstein reportedly proposed new ” assault tart” bill waiting for Gerbal Brown to sign into law. Oath keepers.org

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- bigdaddyt46
  Posted on March 10, 2013 at 11:42pm
  the words feinstein and assult tart are redundant. LOL
  
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- term limits for congress
  Posted on March 11, 2013 at 2:23pm
  The “assault tart” ban includes a ban on high-capacity lunch boxes. (hat tip: Mark Stein)
  
  Report this comment
sharon144
Posted on March 10, 2013 at 9:44pm
I am 60 yrs old. My brother in his youth played with soldiers, he became a marine. The other kids in the neighborhood and I would play war in the woods with stick guns. I grew up never wanting to hurt anyone, and no desire to own a gun. When they make an issue of it, it becomes an issue.

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BigDadio
Posted on March 10, 2013 at 9:40pm
Pot Tarts-the feeders know…

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chips1
Posted on March 10, 2013 at 9:39pm
There’s more than one way to “pop a tart”.

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- Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra
  Posted on March 10, 2013 at 10:45pm
  Isn’t that engraved on the Clinton Library?
  
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mgh999
Posted on March 10, 2013 at 9:38pm
once pop tarts are outlawed only outlaws will have pop tarts.

A message to educators: “Lighten up, Francis”

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Impenitent
Posted on March 10, 2013 at 9:36pm
looks more like Idaho…

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- chips1
  Posted on March 10, 2013 at 9:46pm
  Ban Idaho and bring in the Counselors. Another danger for Americans to be afraid of.
  
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whitealaskan
Posted on March 10, 2013 at 9:34pm
That’s definitely a Walther ppk.

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momrules
Posted on March 10, 2013 at 9:34pm
What troubles me about this bill and this whole article is that there is a need for this bill.

Public schools are being run by Stupid now and you know what they say about Stupid.

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- timbepat
  Posted on March 10, 2013 at 11:25pm
  I was thinking the same thing, the fact that they think there is a need for this bill is just ridiculous. I guess only liberals need to legislate common sense.
  
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pepperlayne
Posted on March 10, 2013 at 9:34pm
It seriously looks like Idaho tipped over on its side. Get real, people.

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- electroencephalographic
  Posted on March 10, 2013 at 9:55pm
  It looks like a half eaten pop-tart. Get really serious, people.
  
  Report this comment
Rayblue
Posted on March 10, 2013 at 9:32pm
Pixie Sticks are kind of like bangalore torpedoes.
Catch some kid slipping one under an asparagus barricade and watch the intellectual fireworks.

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LOTO
Posted on March 10, 2013 at 9:31pm
I’ve been saying. Roger Hedgecock said it. Glenn Beck said it.
Get your kids out of public schools.

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- Heb4Seven
  Posted on March 11, 2013 at 12:15am
  Oh-oh-oh!….Having a vision….I see a New product line of snacks….”Bang-Tarts”…’A Taste that Explodes in Your Mouth!’….
  
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Dougral Supports Israel
Posted on March 10, 2013 at 9:31pm
Its truly sad that legislation has to be enacted to bring sanity back into the school disciplinary process.

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homeschooleducatorofsix
Posted on March 10, 2013 at 9:29pm
Kind of gives a whole new meaning to the term “POP” Tarts.

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tnman65
Posted on March 10, 2013 at 9:28pm
What if it had been a Toaster Strudel? Would we be having this conversation ?

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- Heb4Seven
  Posted on March 10, 2013 at 11:51pm
  Yeah…’Pop’ does sound a little threatening.
  
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civilwarcometh
Posted on March 10, 2013 at 9:25pm
End the DoE. Turn education back over to the states and make it illegal for teachers or any other government job to be unionized.

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banjarmon
Posted on March 10, 2013 at 9:22pm
If teachers are afraid of pop-tart guns, bubble guns, stick guns and finger guns, WHAT would they do if it were real?? RUN Hide and throw erasers?? GET real teachers!!! Let kids be kids as long as they don’t hurt each other in a serious manor!

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