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Funny or Gov’t Waste? Groundhog Officially Indicted by Prosecutor for Inaccurate Prediction of Early Spring

Mar. 22, 2013 8:59am

Those in northern regions of the United States were likely hopeful about Punxsutawney Phil’s prediction of an early spring. But the weather-gauge groundhog who wasn’t scared by his shadow on February 2 hasn’t made good on his  promise — and some groups want him to pay.

Punxsutawney Phil Indicted by Ohio County Prosecutor for False Early Spring Prediction

Groundhog co-handler John Griffiths holds Punxsutawney Phil after Phil did not see his shadow and predicting an early spring during the 127th Groundhog Day Celebration at Gobbler’s Knob on February 2, 2013 in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania. (Photo: Alex Wong/Getty Images)

An Ohio county prosecutor specifically is, albeit jokingly, seeking the death penalty for the famous, Pennsylvania-residing groundhog, after Old Man Winter has maintained his grasp on the region sending inches of snow their way within the past week. Michael Gmoser, the prosecuting attorney for Butler County, issued an official indictment for Punxsatawney Phil, which, although funny, is bound to have some critics questioning the use of government time.

Here’s a look at the indictment:

Punxsutawney Phil Indicted by Ohio County Prosecutor for False Early Spring Prediction

(Image: Butler County Prosecutor’s Office Indictment)

The satire publication The Onion took the idea a step further:

“Punxsutawney Phil must suffer the consequences of his erroneous and poorly conceived forecast,” said town councilman Kenneth Joachim as he held the rodent’s trembling body against the chopping block and lifted an ax high, bringing it down in a single, assured stroke that cleanly decapitated the animal, a tradition that stretches back to the town’s founding. “Let this gesture stand as a stark reminder to all future groundhogs who seek to presage winter’s end without evidence or merit.”

Gmoser told the Washington Post’s Capital Weather Gang that “something has to be done” for the betrayal of the people by the groundhog, adding though that he “[hopes] everyone understands it’s tongue-in-cheek…”

All we have to say is that if Phil is punished for his inaccurate weather prediction, meteorologists might want to start watching their backs as well. We also should note that Ohio’s own weather-predicting groundhog called for an early spring this year too — so let’s be fair here.

Punxsutawney Phil Indicted by Ohio County Prosecutor for False Early Spring Prediction

Here’s the mug of Marion, Ohio’s groundhog Buckeye Chuch who predicted an early spring and was clearly wrong, at least for the Ohio region. (Photo: AP/The Marion Star, Bill Sinden)

For those of you who might actually be so fed up with winter that you want to take it out on the furry animal, perhaps this video of a man using rifles and explosives to obliterate the season will satisfy you.

Let us know what you think about the prosecutor’s indictment by taking our poll:

(H/T: Weather.AOL.com)

In CONTROL, Glenn Beck presents a passionate, fact-based case for guns that reveals why gun control isn’t really about controlling guns at all; it’s about controlling us. Find out more HERE.

Comments (54)

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  • Soul Leister
    Posted on March 22, 2013 at 11:26am

    BEWARE of government incrementalism:

    …first its death to the weather groundhog du jour
    …then its death to the local weather man, woman, transgendered personality
    …followed by death to the national weather man, woman, transgendered personality
    …that leads to the state demanding the deaths of people on the street speculating on what the weather will be… just like the democrats are trying to do with banning guns (first some guns then some more then all the rest and that goes for pictures of them or models (even carved in ice)… it never ends with these parasites on the left… it never ends…

    Report this comment

    Soul Leister  
    • Soul Leister
      Posted on March 22, 2013 at 11:43am

      Democrats never solve any problem they pretend to champion.

      If a democrat was presented with the problem of crossing the street… it would spiral out of control to become something akin to the big dig:

      1. identify the problem and start throwing tax money at it (everywhere)
      2. take bids (favoring minority companies)
      3. drag out the project with impact fees
      4. repave the street and install cameras
      5. hire a company to monitor the cameras
      6. study traffic flow for two years
      7. buy property on other side of street to resell as the value goes up due to improvements
      8. kick themselves in the butt for not having bought the property sooner
      9. assess fines for delays (to increase kickbacks)
      10. take junkets to see how other streets are crossed around the world
      11. go half way across and return to demonstrate concept
      ….
      200. years later they still have not crossed the damn street.

      That is our democrat leadership on display… get a rope.

      Report this comment

      Soul Leister  
    • dmerwin
      Posted on March 23, 2013 at 3:56am

      22-250 and Punxsutawney Phil is out of the weather business! Does anyone really think that a rodent even cares if it sees it’s shadow, let alone predict weather? Media please find something more newsworthy.

      Report this comment

      dmerwin  
  • woodyee
    Posted on March 22, 2013 at 10:45am

    Top 11 Reasons to Celebrate Groundhog Day
    11. It’s on nearly every calendar.

    10. Helps relieve cabin fever.

    9. Spring or not, it’s six weeks till St Urho’s Day.

    8. Forecast is no less reliable than the National Weather Service.

    7. At least one of them critters is bound to see things your way.

    6. Valentine’s Day is too depressing for nerds.

    5. Unlike the Easter bunny, he keeps his dirty paws outside.

    4. As they used to say on radio: “The Shadow knows”.

    3. It’s fun to say “Punxsutawney”.

    2. If a rodent can bring us an early spring, more power to him.

    1. In Minnesota, either way they come out ahead.

    source – http://www.jokesaboutgroundhogday.com/groundhog_day_joke_one.html

    Report this comment

    woodyee  
  • Bonnieblue2A
    Posted on March 22, 2013 at 10:36am

    Shakespeare was right in what he wrote about lawyers.

    Report this comment

    Bonnieblue2A  
  • 19.5
    Posted on March 22, 2013 at 10:34am

    Yea good joke….now get back to work

    Report this comment

    19.5  
  • ltb
    Posted on March 22, 2013 at 10:15am

    Why hasn’t anyone prosecuted Al Gore for his global warming fraud?

    Report this comment

    ltb  
    • PilgrimStuckInBizarroWorld
      Posted on March 22, 2013 at 10:40am

      Amen!

      Report this comment

      PilgrimStuckInBizarroWorld  
    • Anonymous T. Irrelevant
      Posted on March 22, 2013 at 10:50am

      Excellent question!

      Report this comment

      Anonymous T. Irrelevant  
    • pap pap
      Posted on March 22, 2013 at 11:32am

      Good one. You know we all enjoyed Winter sooooo much that they came out with Winter II, The Sequel.

      Report this comment

      pap pap  
    • Slipstick
      Posted on March 22, 2013 at 1:19pm

      The groundhog listened to Al Gore and thought global warming was real…

      BTW, where I come from, groundhogs are varmints and make dandy target practice.

      Report this comment

      Slipstick  
    • JRook
      Posted on March 22, 2013 at 2:31pm

      Well if you actually read some of the information they hide in books and scientific journals you would know that there is an alarming number of hibernating species that are “waking” up as much as 28 days early than they did historically. Now perhaps it is too much Starbucks coffee in the fall or they can’t wait to switch off of dish network. Or perhaps it has something to do with climate change. But again, that is one of the science and data driven things that is clearly a conspiracy.

      Report this comment

      JRook  
    • 13th Imam
      Posted on March 22, 2013 at 3:15pm

      JCrook
      Back in the 70-80′s you’re paramours said GLOBAL COOLING (the next ice age) was coming. WTF. Can’t you idiots make up your minds.

      Report this comment

      13th Imam  
    • ltb
      Posted on March 23, 2013 at 11:46pm

      13TH IMAM, thank you for putting JROOK in his place. The fact that these Liberals are such morons is bad enough, but there is nothing worse than a condescending moron. As if a moron can condescend to anyone.

      Report this comment

      ltb  
  • moreteaplease
    Posted on March 22, 2013 at 9:54am

    ….”although funny, is bound to have some critics questioning the use of government time.”
    ———————————–
    I really have no problem with this.

    This doesn’t begin to compare to the waste of government time and taxpayer revenue going on in D.C….and there is nothing funny about that.

    Report this comment

    moreteaplease  
    • rickfromthecape
      Posted on March 22, 2013 at 10:05am

      I first saw the headline on Drudge, and I laughed my a$$ off! Mainly, because I live on Cape Cod and am looking at 2 inches of new snow that fell overnight on the second day of spring! OFF WITH HIS HEAD!

      Report this comment

      rickfromthecape  
  • woodyee
    Posted on March 22, 2013 at 9:52am

    Doesn’t the groundhog’s mugshot make him look like a Koala bear? So cute!

    Hmm…I wonder what Koala’s taste like…

    Report this comment

    woodyee  
    • Bonnieblue2A
      Posted on March 22, 2013 at 10:38am

      Woodchuck Stew

      1 woodchuck
      2 onions, sliced
      1/2 cup celery, sliced
      Flour
      Vinegar and water
      Salt and pepper
      Cloves

      Clean woodchuck; remove glands; cut into serving pieces. Soak overnight in a solution of equal parts of water and vinegar with addition of one sliced onion and a little salt. Drain, wash, and wipe. Parboil 20 minutes, drain, and cover with fresh boiling water. Add one sliced onion, celery, a few cloves, and salt and pepper to taste. Cook until tender; thicken gravy with flour

      Report this comment

      Bonnieblue2A  
    • Soul Leister
      Posted on March 22, 2013 at 11:33am

      PETA! PETA! Where is PETA on this… then again who cares what they think… groundhog probably tastes like chicken or rabbit or squirrel (a big squirrel)… just don’t smoke it (it has a harsh after taste).

      Report this comment

      Soul Leister  
  • Popp40
    Posted on March 22, 2013 at 9:38am

    I trust the groundhog more than any politicians.

    Report this comment

    Popp40  
  • woodyee
    Posted on March 22, 2013 at 9:36am

    Groundhog Recipes

    You can use woodchuck meat in virtually any recipe calling for small game and in many other dishes as well. My favorites, though, are pie (our traditional Groundhog Day fare) and stew. Here are the directions for making both.
    Woodchuck Pie

    1 woodchuck
    3 medium carrots
    3 potatoes
    1/4 cup of butter or margarine
    1 onion, diced
    2 tablespoons of flour and piecrust dough

    Quarter the woodchuck and place the pieces in a large pot with enough cold water to cover the meat. Boil it for 10 minutes, then discard the water, refill the pan, and bring the liquid to a boil again. Lower the heat and let the contents simmer for about 1 to 1 1/2 hours. Add the carrots and potatoes and continue cooking the stew for about another 30 minutes … until the meat is tender and separates easily from the bone. By this time, you should be able to pierce the vegetables readily with a fork.

    Now, strain the liquid and reserve 2 cups. The remaining pot liquor can be saved for soup stock, or discarded.

    Next, remove the cooked meat from the bones and cut it into bite-sized pieces. Melt the butter or margarine in a large, heavy skillet, add the diced onion, and cook it for 5 minutes. Then add the flour and stir the mixture until it bubbles … put in the reserved liquid and blend the brew some more until it thickens . . . and, when that happens, combine the vegetables and meat, mixing the whole concoction thoroughly.

    Finally, butter a large casserole and pour in the mea

    Report this comment

    woodyee  
  • LEFT_NY_4_GOOD
    Posted on March 22, 2013 at 9:34am

    The post on front page says”Prosector” What up wit da TIE POE yo! :)

    Report this comment

    LEFT_NY_4_GOOD  
  • Stoic one
    Posted on March 22, 2013 at 9:33am

    For once I do not mind winter. Nice 42″ plow blade on my lawn tractor; that 110″ driveway is a blast to clear.

    Report this comment

    Stoic one  
  • Grace1798
    Posted on March 22, 2013 at 9:29am

    Groundhog should never take money from GOV. NEVER! Bad Idea! Then these HATERS can take it all away from you at a whim.

    Report this comment

    Grace1798  
  • Granny67
    Posted on March 22, 2013 at 9:29am

    If this was the biggest waste of government time, we’d all be in better shape. The PA Senate should try it instead of working on garbage like S.B. 32.

    It’s funny stuff.

    Report this comment

    Granny67  
  • ArmedAndReallyPissed
    Posted on March 22, 2013 at 9:26am

    Unca Joe says : And i thought the Fuhrer and i were STUPID !!!! This idiot makes us both look like Gennyouses……Ginniousess…….uh, like real smart.

    Report this comment

    ArmedAndReallyPissed  
  • 13th Imam
    Posted on March 22, 2013 at 9:17am

    Should read

    On or about Nov 30 2008 at Wash DC Barry Obama did purposely and with prior design,cause the people to believe that he would halve the deficit to be cut in half, and unemployment to decline.

    The death penalty would be sufficient in my opinion.
    13th

    Report this comment

    13th Imam  
  • 4xeverything
    Posted on March 22, 2013 at 9:17am

    Very funny. We have cabin fever here in Ohio and need to have a little fun. Besides, a little lighthearted silliness in the news is necessary these days.

    Report this comment

    4xeverything  
  • Snowleopard {gallery of cat folks}
    Posted on March 22, 2013 at 9:15am

    more government waste.

    Report this comment

    Snowleopard {gallery of cat folks}  
  • media-bias-steals-elections
    Posted on March 22, 2013 at 9:13am

    You failed to motivate him before asking the question? Ask him, have you seen the price of dog food?

    Report this comment

    media-bias-steals-elections  
  • Xanderson
    Posted on March 22, 2013 at 9:12am

    Probably took him less than 3 minutes to write the indictment and gave some folks a laugh. Sounds like an okay use of 3 minutes. Also, now we’ve all read the name Michael T. Gmoser. Smart guy!

    Report this comment

    Xanderson  
  • progressiveslayer
    Posted on March 22, 2013 at 9:10am

    No it would be funny if the drugged up ground hog ripped the faces off of every one of those idiots on stage. It’s idiotic for grown men to stand around waiting for a weather forecast from a rodent.

    Report this comment

    progressiveslayer  
    • Irememberamerica
      Posted on March 22, 2013 at 12:58pm

      Every year I anticipate that he will do just that.
      I wait with bated breath each time they latch onto him.

      If you grabbed one of the “chucks” around here out of their winter
      abodes by a gloved hand, you would be visiting the nearest emergency care
      facility.

      Report this comment

      Irememberamerica  
  • DADDYWOREAWHITEHAT
    Posted on March 22, 2013 at 9:10am

    Calling for the death penalty? Making sure someone loses their job is no longer good enough for the critics? Wow. It might have been funny if they hadn’t gone that far.

    Report this comment

    DADDYWOREAWHITEHAT  
  • woodyee
    Posted on March 22, 2013 at 9:10am

    You want our opinion on the obvious?!?

    Report this comment

    woodyee  
  • Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra
    Posted on March 22, 2013 at 9:05am

    Just cook him up, that’s what they used to do anyway.

    Report this comment

    Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra  
  • RightUnite
    Posted on March 22, 2013 at 9:05am

    They obviously have too much time on their hands….

    Report this comment

    RightUnite  
  • Zipit
    Posted on March 22, 2013 at 9:04am

    DAMNED WHISTLE PIGS! LoL!!!! http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=pCibiJrk4_Q&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DpCibiJrk4_Q

    Report this comment

    Zipit  
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