President Barack Obama had several pages of cohesive one-liners during his White House Correspondents’ Dinner Speech Saturday night. He took aim at Rush Limbaugh and Republicans, as is his habit, but he (and many others) also singled out CNN and MSNBC.
Swaggering up to the podium to the sound of rap music, he began: “Rush Limbaugh warned you about this — second term baby, we’re changing things around here a little bit…”
He touched on how the second term, though, is somewhat more tiring. “I’m not the strapping young Muslim socialist that I used to be…” he joked.
The president said at one point he was so desperate to quell the never-ending controversy he decided to use one of “Michelle’s tricks.” At that point, a number of images of President Obama flashed on the screen, all with prominent bangs PhotoShopped onto the forehead.
Switching gears, Obama turned to the media. Of CNN, he said: “I admire their commitment to cover all sides of the story — just in case one of them happens to be accurate!”
He continued: “David Axelrod now works for MSNBC, which is a nice change of pace since MSNBC used to work for David Axelrod. The History channel is not here, I guess they were embarrassed about that whole, ‘Obama is a devil thing,’ of course that didn’t keep Fox News from showing up…”
After joking about how Buzzfeed used to be “something I did in college around 2 a.m,” Obama recognized the press’ preference for him over his competitors.
“My job is to be president, your job is to keep me humble — frankly I think I’m doing my job better,” he said.
After joking about the election and how Sheldon Adelson would’ve been better off offering him $100 million to drop out than spending it on attack ads, the president said he’s already planning his legacy.
In lieu of a library, he’s going to build another “edifice” next to the George W. Bush presidential library. A giant billboard pointing to it saying, “His Fault.”
President Obama closed on a more somber note, saying “these have been some very hard days for too many of our citizens…[but] even when the days seem darkest, we have seen humanity shine at its brightest. We have seen first respondents and national guardsmen who dashed into danger, law enforcement officers who served their oath to serve and protect, Americans opening their homes and their hearts to perfect strangers…”
He urged everyone in the room to do more for “all those folks who are counting on us.”
Watch the entire speech via the Washington Post, below: