One woman’s very polite yet still scathing break-up letter is spreading across the Internet like wildfire and making men everywhere think twice before even thinking about cheating.
The letter, posted on Reddit Friday, has since gone viral and had been viewed more than 1.2 million times as of Monday afternoon. It should be noted that the letter has not been proven to be completely authentic. Either way, it’s worth the read.
“Guess who left his Facebook open on the computer and got a message from Kelsi? Yeah! You! :) But don’t worry, I didn’t break anything! Actually, I was nice enough to package your things! And I even invented a neat game, since I know you like looking for other things, (like other girls!),” the letter reads.
The letter goes on to provide several clues to the whereabouts of the alleged cheater’s belongings.
“Your clothes are where we first met,” one clue reads. “Your video games are where we first kissed.”
The writer then informs the letter’s recipient that “everything else…is at Kelsi’s house!”
She concluded with this: “Oh, and while I didn’t break or damage anything, I can’t guarantee anybody else won’t find it! Happy Hunting!”
The Yahoo! blog “Shine” has more examples of awesome break-up letters:
While the twisted genius of this revenge note is truly amazing, it’s by no means the only incredible break up, letter, for better or worse, to grace the Internet.
A couple of years ago, an email from one OKCupid user, OompaLoompa to another called Miss Lonelyhearts surfaced that read: “Thanks for an interesting 3 dates. I spent the weekend thinking about you and me and have decided that I’m not interested in pursuing ‘us’ any longer…I don’t think we’re a good match, and after looking at us on Cupid again, neither does Cupid…[We're] a 52% on lifestyles questions. And I think the lifestyle issue is the bigger one. I think Cupid’s matching system works best if the user answers more questions—so I’d recommend answering more. Cupid was founded by Harvard math majors, so I have confidence in their math algorithm.” It goes on and on and on to describe how much more energy and zest for life he has than his date, and encourages her to move to another city. The final kiss-off? Closing the letter with an obnoxious “Ciao.” Gawker calls the writer a “world class tool.” We think Miss Lonelyhearts dodged a bullet and should consider herself lucky.
Another such dirtbag-y email was picked up by the Washington Post and circulated widely. After meeting a guy dancing, a young woman wrote him an email to which he responded, “I don’t have time for twenty questions by email. I met five girls Saturday night, have already booked a first coffee with three of them, and meet more every time I go dancing.”
Not to be outdone by the boys, a jilted wife named Emily purchased a billboard to break-up with her cheating husband, and the picture of it went viral. “Hi Steven,” it reads, “Do I have your attention now? I know all about her, you dirty, sneaky, immoral, unfaithful, poorly-endowed slimeball. Everything’s caught on tape…p.s. I paid for this billboard from OUR joint bank account.”
Feel free to share any personal break-up letter stories in the comments section below.