Glenn Beck opened his weekday television program Tuesday pretending to be a local news anchor reporting on the bitterly cold weather sweeping the country.
“Well, hello local residents of this local metropolitan area! Welcome,” he said in a mocking tone. “This is the day we all in the newsroom have been waiting for … I’ll give you a hint. Don’t forget your booties!”
“That’s right local citizen,” he continued. “It is cold out there today. How cold? Try polar vortex cold! A lot of people have never heard of this effect — don’t think it’s made-up. Some strict weather fundamentalists out there now are calling this a natural phenomenon known as ‘winter,’ but where is the fun in that in the news biz?”
Beck proceeded to highlight all the “reports” they’ve received on Facebook and Twitter of Sharknado-like instances resulting from the polar vortex and climate change — including an in-studio demonstration of “indoor snowing” — before checking in with local “action team action weatherman” Stu Burguiere.
“There are millions of people suffering from frostbite-like symptoms today,” Burguiere remarked assertively, sitting outside in shorts and a lei. “The cold is the least of their worries! They really need to worry about heat. But don’t take it from me. Take it from the nation’s leading climate expert, who said excessively high temperatures are already harming public health nationwide.”
“That’s Barack Obama in his executive order,” Burguiere concluded triumphantly, “and he must be feeling vindicated today as record low temperatures sweep the country.”
Returning to his own persona, Beck summarized that “common sense in this country and honesty on the TV is dead.”
“You want to talk about deniers? The so-called climate experts have been moving the goalposts with each failed prediction. So why are they so stubborn? Because this has nothing to do with reality. This has nothing to do with climate. This has everything to do with fear,” Beck asserted. “It is a power grab. Another chance for the government to control industry and more of your money.”
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