Meet the Presidential Hopeful Promising Free Ponies For All, Mandatory Toothbrushing

Armed with a giant toothbrush and helmeted in an enormous rubber fishing boot, Vermin Supreme is running for president again this year. According to his own estimation, his campaign is going very well indeed.

The candidate, raised on the Eastern shore of Massachusetts, is engaged in his fourth run for the White House, having received a smattering of votes, but not quite enough, in 2004, 2008, and 2012. This time he’s pulling no punches.

“I think I have a better chance than Martin O’Mally at this point,” he told TheBlaze. “I think I have a better chance than Rick Santorum and Mike Huckabee combined.”

Vermin said he wears the boot because it symbolizes “all that is great with America.”

The giant toothbrush he carries symbolize his “committment to mandatory toothbrushing laws.”

America is in “a great moral and oral decay,” he told TheBlaze. “A country’s future depends on its ability to bite back…We can no long be indentured.”

Vermin and his aides made for quite a spectacle at the GOP town hall in in Nashua, N.H., over the weekend, attracting a great deal of attention, and seemingly much more than some of his GOP rivals, including former Gov. Jim Gilmore and former Sen. Rick Santorum.

Vermin was banned from the New Hampshire Institute of Politics Debate late last year, due to “property damage” that allegedly occurred when he glitter-bombed rival and pro-life activist Randal Terry in 2011.

Supreme filed for his candidacy with the FEC, in November, paying the $1000 entry fee with $50 bill stamped to say it’s “not to be used for bribing politicians,” according to The Concord Monitor.

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