A young woman who described herself as a “religious Jew” who is waiting until she’s married to have sex has a message for all of the “inevitable jerks” who think that she’s “some lonely, naive little girl” who is “stupid for believing in waiting.”
In a blog post published on relationship website YourTango and on the Huffington Post, Estee Kahn said that she has never seen herself as being “extreme” when it comes to her religion or values, but that many people somehow see her decision to abstain from sex in that light.
Noting that Jews, among many other religious adherents, believe in waiting until marriage to have sex, she said that some people have a hard time understanding why she believes that sex should be reserved for matrimony.
“When I explain my decision to people, they accept it — and some even praise it,” Kahn wrote. “But then there’s those inevitable jerks who think I’m some lonely, naive little girl and that I’m stupid for believing in waiting. I even get this from Jewish men, too.”
From there, she delivered a message for those who might not understand her very personal decision to wait.
“So let me clear some things up: I don’t regret my decision at all. In fact, even if I wasn’t Jewish, I would probably still wait,” she wrote. “For me — and maybe it’s because I’m a romantic — sex is meant to be something you do with the one you love so you can become one.”
Predicting some of the responses she will likely receive from critics, Kahn provided a rebuttal to questions and statements like “But what if he can’t satisfy you in bed?” and “You need to know if your chemistry is good in bed before you marry him” — the rationale that many use when stating that sex with more than one partner isn’t all that bad, saying that she believes none of that is important.
Kahn said that she wants her future husband to be the only person with whom she sleeps.
“When we’re together, I won’t be comparing him to previous lovers because I won’t have any,” she wrote. “And while I’ve never had sex, I know that it’s hard to enjoy it if you don’t feel even a small level of attraction to the person (be it their looks or their personality). I will be attracted to my husband so I don’t think that will be an issue.”
Read her entire post here.
Kahn’s bold blog post comes at a time when abstinence is a theme that appears to be lacking — at least in pop culture, where sex is seemingly rampant in entertainment and other social venues.
What do you think about what she had to say? Let us know in the comments section below.
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