Adam Carolla: ‘The Government F**ks Everything Up They Touch’
- Posted on February 11, 2012 at 1:49pm by
Madeleine Morgenstern
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Comedian Adam Carolla — who broke the Occupy movement down in an epic rant in November — went on a similar diatribe against big government Thursday during “The Adam Carolla Show” podcast, burned up over the announcement that Los Angeles County would be imposing a $1,000-fine on people caught throwing Frisbees at the beach:
“The beach is a great little microcosm of what is going on with this country. We’re going to save everybody because God forbid some kid could get hit with a Frisbee or someone could take in third-hand smoke or some dog could run across someone’s beach towel. Yes, it is true, we’ve eliminated any possibility of somebody being concussed by a Nerf football, but we’ve also eliminated all possibility of fun. So seriously, the beach, which used to be six pack, couple of cigarettes, a Frisbee and your dog and some tunes cranked up has now gone to turn the radio down, put the cigarette out, pour the beer out in the sand, put the dog back on the leash, put the Frisbee away and here’s a $1,000 fine.
Better or worse? By the way, I know we always think in our society, hey we’re moving along man, we’re marching toward the light. Is this f–king progress to you?”
[...]
“Who decided that it was the government’s job to protect us from ourselves? I understand the part where they protect us from Al Qaida, but the protection from the selves and they do everything for you — you guys don’t understand, the government f–ks everything up they touch. Please stop looking to them to help you.”
Content warning — very strong language:
Carolla‘s Occupy Wall Street made national headlines and was prominently featured on The Blaze and on Glenn Beck’s radio program. Carolla defended Beck when he was subsequently asked whether he thought Beck’s admiration of him was a liability, saying the media was “slanted toward the left.”
Related: Adam Carolla to Beck: ‘I Dug Ditches’ and ‘Know What It’s Like to Grow Up Poor’




















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Comments (190)
welovetheUSA
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 3:00pmAmen…..its true. And we have a country fully of dumb…dumb….robots.
Report Post »Naps
Posted on February 13, 2012 at 1:32pmI’ll drink to that Adam. The government does F+CK up everything they touch,including Muslim nations we love to invade for no reason. Our government is filled with puppets(Liberal or Conservative).
Report Post »Paul/Carolla 2012
inferno
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 2:56pmGovernment has reached the bottom of a dry hole, when it comes to taxes to fund their lame brained schemes. Even though taxes have taken a lot of freedoms from individuals, they are attempting to find their way around their drop in revenue, by taking away even more freedoms, with schemes like the beach fiasco. The problem, those who feel they are exempt, because they do not engage in frisbee play on the beach, say no big deal, it doesn,t effect me. Like those who don’t smoke, they feel the same way. Little do the know the government is headed down the road thet will lead to
Report Post »the limitations on eveyones freedom, including theirs.
jakartaman
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 2:54pmHe would be right – but he’d be stating the obvious.
Report Post »I only want the Federal government to keep this country secure from foreign invasion – kinda like on the southern border.
Other than that give all other bureaucratic BS to the states as our founders wanted.
but the most important thing is to STAY THE H-LL OUT OF MY LIFE!!!
GREENDOG
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 2:53pmGood stuff Adam, however ease up on the f bomb.
Report Post »lylee
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 3:22pmHe’s talking to his “F…ing” audiance. I believe it is the only way they will listen!
Report Post »hidden_lion
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 3:24pmF-bomb is appropriate when discussing the government, just as it is appropriate when you smash your finger or gouge your arm while working on your car. That is what curse words were meant for.
Report Post »chips1
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 5:32pm“OUCH” works just as well. “F-in ouch”, seems to work better.
Report Post »Patriot
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 2:51pmWell said, although the doctor has a point. Those of us at lower levels (the pawns) mostly have no idea how ‘off’ things are. We simply lack the frame of reference. Fortunately that doesn‘t stop us from realizing that ’bad’ is happening.
Report Post »ZeroOff4impact
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 2:43pmIn….
Report Post »rt elms
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 6:59pmThat the puritans and pilgrims were fleeing dominion theology is laughable on its face! They were in fact fleeing the authoritarian corruptness found in the Church of England. BTW: if they were fleeing dominion theology, they did a pretty good job of setting up their own version in right here. Salem witch trials ring any bells?
Report Post »Movinfr8
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 2:42pmHe surely is NOT Jon Stewart. I can stand to listen to Adam Corolla.
Report Post »mr molotov cocktail
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 2:41pmadam is done in he is losing jobs left and right soon he will have to live the regular american lifestyle lets see what he says-then
Report Post »he screwed himself thinking it would get people to like him
i am one of the rich-guys now ha ha ha
some people stick up for the status-quo when they become wealthy some people feel humbleness and compassion there is six billion people on earth and 89 percent lives off under five dollars a day
captialism is idol worship
evangelicals are satans children-they are followers of the anti-christ who do idol worship of capitalism and dont understand the laws of nature “of man” or god
evangelicals exalt rich people as walking gods-
evangelicals follow dominion theology and that is the doom of this nation
remember this you fool christians
when you stand before the lord-god in heaven you judge yourselves….. he already knows whats in your hearts~
OurFoundingFather
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 2:50pmwhat?
Report Post »TheObamanation
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 2:51pmEvangelicals are satans children ? I suppose the Jews are Nazi’s … by that logic.
Report Post »The_Jerk
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 2:58pmWelfare recipients are thieves… in that vein.
Report Post »mr molotov cocktail
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 3:13pmThe_Jerk you should start reading the about the puritans and pilgrims they were fleeing old conservative europe they were socialists….fleeing from dominion theology~
Report Post »dominion theology came back with the migrations of the 1900s
america was loved till the children of satan- the dominionist theologists sprouted up~they are satans lot
the rise of evangelica’s was the doom of america
hidden_lion
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 3:27pmMolotov-
Report Post »You haven’t been martyred in the street yet? I think you and your comrades are behind schedule
bikerr
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 3:45pm@mr molotov cocktail–By your misuse of the English written language I would love to be in class when you learn it . Then I would be able to know what the He!! you just posted!?
Report Post »RJJinGadsden
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 6:35pmMR MOLOTOV COCKTAIL,So Mommy and Daddy let you back on the internet and I can see that you looked up some new words. To agree with BIKERR above, you need to learn how to put them together to actually mean something coherent. How about working on another couple of years of grammer school developing your language and communications skills. Then feel free to post here in a manner so that we can understand at least a little of what you attempt to say. Shoot, we all make typos here and I am certainly no exception. But try phonetically pronouncing your words out loud, then engage the brain to attempt to type them. The technique might help. Oh yeah, one other thing….read some real history rather than that drivel you seem to make up. If somebody is teaching you that, you need to request a refund.
Report Post »Winedude
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 6:47pmDon’t worry Molotov…your critic in this string well understand what you’re trying to say but have nothing to combat it with beyond criticizing your grammar. You’re making a lot more sense than some of the things here written in perfect (redneck) English.
Report Post »RJJinGadsden
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 7:29pmWHINEDUDE, LOL and nice try. You apparently have not seen the other stupid drivel this kid has tried to spew here before. Skipping the language it’s nonsensical.
Report Post »hypnos
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 7:42pmCocktail boy your lithium level is waning.
Report Post »LIBS-ARE-DINGLEHEADS
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 9:53pmYou are one mentally disturbed person. Your comments are not only asinine, but deranged and idiotic. But that’s your role here; punishment for even questioning your liberal/socialist/Marxist “friend circle” – who got to your porous brain early, and stupid-lobotomized it into submission.
Bet you post, print and run to your handlers to show how much “progress” you make here.
Pathetic.
Report Post »qzak491
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 10:01pmMR MOLOTOV COCKTAIL
You been drinking to much of that gas.
Report Post »Therightsofbilly
Posted on February 12, 2012 at 1:28amYou want some cheese with that wine dude…..winedude?
Report Post »TheObamanation
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 2:39pmAdam Corolla would be happy to hear that.
Report Post »CatB
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 2:39pmLOL … No SH *T!
Report Post »auburn82
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 2:33pmtrue…unlike the perpetually smug self-righteous Stewart, Adam is exactly right about govt. Most things it gets into become far worse than they were originally.
Report Post »The Gooch
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 2:32pmBusybodies (R or D, left or right) f’ up everything they touch. And govt. is the realm of the “I know best” busybody.
Report Post »MS-GlenNBC
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 2:42pmhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zc19Fpe9kpQ
Report Post »The Gooch
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 2:56pmPretty good recording. Thanks for the laugh, but that was also sad. R or D, get the hell out of my fridge, home, and body. ‘Amen’ to Levin’s points. I have no doubt Romney is more of the same.
Report Post »“Vote for this guy because he’s rich and not the other guys.” Wow.
girlnurse
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 3:09pmSo who is Levin supporting? If it‘s not Ron Paul he’s a hypocrit.
Report Post »hidden_lion
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 3:29pmGirlNnurse-
Report Post »He is a hypocrite, he is a santorum control peoples life guy.
All because Mr Paul doesn’t believe we should be running around fighting everyone.
AB5r
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 2:29pmRemember that idiotic Cash for Clunkers program? All that did was shrink the used car market so now the prices of used cars are up and there are fewer available, and all that hurts the very people who really need a cheap old car. Government really does mess up everything it touches.
Report Post »Micmac
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 2:25pmI watch the CA govt channel several times a week and I can personally say that there isn‘t a bill they don’t like. They just did a guest speakers on global warming who were professors from universities around the bay area and everyone of them gave GW as a priori, ridiculed anyone who questions it, and every govt official agreed and ate it up. They were discussing how to create even more restrictive energy regulations. Any business that moves to CA is off its rocker. Shortly, even though CA is the highest taxed state, they are proposing several new substantial tax increases. From what I gather one tax alone is 1.25%.
NoBama 2012
Report Post »girlnurse
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 2:21pmWhat we need is a little fear of God and respect for people again! If the government butts out than peoples morals need to back up too. (Have u guys been to a beach in LA lately?)
Report Post »In other words if im laying on the beach and some drunk gangbangin punks kick sand and keep droppin F bombs around my young children and throwin a football at us my husband gets to ask them to please stop once and if they don’t my husband gets to have his way with them:)
I told you…we ask once nicely first….
auburn82
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 2:37pmI have less faith in some deity‘s ability to stop punks from acting stupid than I do in your hubby’s ability – with some likely help from a few equally-pissed others – to handle the situation. The allegiance to govt has stifled folks from taking care of things they should take care of themselves. When someone trashes your yard, you kick his ass, you don’t ask for govt to intervene.
Report Post »girlnurse
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 3:02pmRight! I agree! WE need to start taking care of what the government thinks is their role.
Report Post »God is not a wimp—yes we turn the other cheek and we “get along with all men, as much as we are able”……God is a lamb but he’s also a Lion. King David kicked butt and thats what we need to do if people don’t act appropriately. I like what you said about “with help from others equally piss**” RIGHT! “My diety” as you say, instructs people to live by the golden rule, which we all should and he knows our hearts but people need to stop misquoting scripture to make people think Jesus was a pacifist wimp because thats NOT Him!
dontbotherme
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 2:18pmOur current administration is purposely destroying every bastion of freedom that our Constitution established by “We the People”. The current government does destroy everything it touches because it’s sole purpose is the attainment of power and the leap towards socialism/communism with a dictator in control. That being said, I had to turn this guy off after a few seconds because I cannot stand the usage of foul language. It demeans the one using it & those listening. The message is lost. I exercised My freedom of choice not to subject myself to vulgarity. Thank God we still have the opportunity to choose not to listen to objectionable speech. How can one use the same lips which would utter such ugliness to pray to God? Ok. Getting off my high horse now.
Report Post »righthanddrive
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 2:12pmLooks like we are all racist now. But seriously, if anybody is really interest in knowing something about central planning by communist governments simply Google “Chairman Mao and sparrows”. Then ask yourself how that is different from what our president has done to our country – whether it be dissing the GM bondholders, $25 billion the mortgage settlement with the banks or Obamacare/contraceptives. Remember, the image of Mao graced the WH Xmas tree so it will not be a humongous stretch of imagination to make the connections.
Report Post »girlnurse
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 2:10pmInteresting! Where is Suzanne Somers to talk about the bs local government regulations making it impossible for her to rebuild? Dr. Drew sounded uncomfortable because he doesn’t want to say too much and risk his money train coming to a hault! Even tho I don’t like this guy or his filthy mouth I would fight for his right to speak AND everything he says is the truth!
Report Post »flatbroke
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 5:18pmVery true! Girlnurse, and where are these celebs who are conservatives, you really dont see them around anymore, Chuck Whoolery at CPAC, but look what happened to Paris Hilton, she disapeared, she had a stupied show on about rediculing people who work for a living, but in the end of the show her and her sidekick always ended up looking stupied. but she is reportedly a conservative, poof gone with every other conservative in hollyweird!
Report Post »beebacksoon
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 2:09pmWake up people. More and more of our freedoms are being removed from our lives, inch by inch.
Report Post »No praying; no playing; no saying. Just keep your mouth shut, and just follow the rules we make!
TheObamanation
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 2:07pmCalifornia deserves everything it gets … Pelosi … Feinstein … Boxer … Brown … because this is what they want
Report Post »taxed
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 2:15pmSo true. Liberals are totally the destruction of our society. Liberals know nothing about anything, and somehow end up getting elected and making laws.
Carolla is right on…
http://conservativepoliticalforum.com/political-discussion-1/
Report Post »Snowleopard {gallery of cat folks}
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 2:06pmWhat else is new? We have allowed the madness of governemnt to run roughshod over us for too long and need to regin it back in to where the people make the choices.
Report Post »ShyLow
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 2:04pmI don’t want a bunch of foul-mouthed drunks throwing horse-shoes over my head,while their jappin mutt craps in the sand
Report Post »Workforit
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 3:02pmMaybe we can get the big government buddies to print you a free sign that you can take to the beach that says
“This area reserved for Elite *******”
It is obvious that the beach is no place for a “Barbie” like you. You are aware that you can drown in your bathtub right… better get some big government after that foulness like right now!
The beach is dangerous!
Nobody should go!
Just wait.. it is coming!
Report Post »Itsjusttim
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 2:03pmWanna know why? Give me 12 billion smackers and I will say.
Report Post »Detroit paperboy
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 2:01pmYes Indeed…. Everything they touch, cut these lazy worthless leeches to the bone, and watch us boom……
Report Post »Detroit paperboy
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 9:49pmWhat branch of unnecessary lazy wothless parasitic innovation sucking innefficent bloated corrupt incompetent government do you work for MARY LIZ ???….
Report Post »marybethelizabeth
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 1:57pmThe government in fact provides services cheaper than private enterprise, because they are not required to show a profit. Besides being cheaper, because they are run at public expense they are much more accountable than private enterprise. A better deal for everyone.
Report Post »marhee9
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 2:02pmLol. Amazing that there are people like you out there. And I do mean “out there.” Wow!
Report Post »beebacksoon
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 2:07pmMARYBETHELIZABETH:
Report Post »True, govt says they can save money by outsourcing to private companies, but that is not true, because they will still keep the govt employees, just move them into the newly created, ever-growing govt positions! Not a penny is saved. And, god forbid, the company bidding is the ONLY vendor that can meet specifiations, then the sky’s the limit!
Rowgue
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 2:08pmThat’s BS. Everything the government does is done at twice the cost it can be done by the private sector. It’s been shown time and time again as various communities have decided to privatize various elements of their operations.
Besides that, the only reason the government isn‘t concerned about showing a profit is because it’s not their money. It‘s money they’ve collected from taxpayers. So the services you‘re getting aren’t cheap, you’re just paying for them without realizing it.
Report Post »colt6920
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 2:10pmYou are hilarious!!! For a second I thought you were serious….you really had me going there. Then I thought about it and realized that no one is that retarded….good one!!!!!
Report Post »GoodStuff
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 2:11pmFedEx is cheaper, faster and provides a higher quality service than the US Postal Service.
What are you talking about?
It’s takes me 60 seconds to buy my products from the cashier at Walmart. At the DMV I have to wait an hour. You = fail.
Report Post »JohnnyRaiden
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 2:11pmIs that why the USPS is how much in the red? lol. Or why the Gov. pays thousands for a toilet seat? Dude, you have no idea what your talking about, it is funny though :D
Report Post »girlnurse
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 2:14pmHaha are you serious! The government hires at least 30% more people than they need to do a job and pays them at least 30% more to do it (BTW taxpayers are paying) and MOST of the jobs government provide would fold because we do NOT need them. And I would submit from first hand experience that the workers are about 50% less productive than private workers because they know they cannot be fired or layed off.
Report Post »countryfirst
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 2:53pmMarybeth – government doesn’t earn any of the money it takes in, how can they have any conscious about spending it in a meaningless way.
Report Post »marybethelizabeth
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 2:53pmThe post office is no longer solely run by the government. It is underfunded and Congress has not allocated enough money for investment in new equipment to increase productivity. Nevertheless my business send all it’s merchandise via the post service because it is cheaper, faster, and more reliable.
No lie. All you businessmen should check it out.
Report Post »The Gooch
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 3:15pmFor every dollar the feds spend, they borrow ~ $0.43. That is only a model of efficiency & value if you live on Bizarra World. As smarter people than me have noted on this matter, there is not a revenue problem, there is a spending problem. And politicians & complicit constituents keep whistling past the graveyard by alleging debt does not matter. Tell that to the folks who are savagely defensive on Social Security, Medicaid & Medicare cuts &/or revisements. Tell that to people who want to have sweet pensions after putting 20 years in with the govt. Tell that to members of the military who don’t receive their pay because of politice gamesmanship.
Report Post »The USPS is in the crosshairs across the rural U.S. How can a concern that is allegedly the cat’s meow for its value & service be facing sweeping closures?
This logic assumes that if I eat more, I’ll weigh less. If I have pain in left arm, I should strike my right arm so it won’t hurt as bad. This is just delusional.
You’re defending an entity that bombed peasant huts in Vietnam while flying over ports where Soviets were unloading weapons & materials. Many pilots from that era still openly mock the idiocy of politicians making war policy. You’re extolling the virtues of a system that believes taking naked photos of citizens & frisking babies & old ladies is the proper manner in which to confront Islamic terrorism.
You are an enabler. Don’t challenge the junky; allow him more of what he wants. Brilliant.
The Gooch
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 3:32pmThe L.A. County Beach Ordinance is some 36 pages in length. Here are some highlights from:
http://blogs.laweekly.com/informer/2012/02/ball-throwing_la_beaches_1000.php
NO:
-Digging a hole deeper than 18 inches into the sand, or digging into any vertical sand embankment.
-”Disturb[ing] any rock” on a beach.
-Driving on the beach, or even parking outside a parking space.
-Using any “canopy, tent, lodge, shelter or structure” larger then 10 feet by 10 feet.
-Producing any “boisterous or unusual noise.”
-Cussing.
-Holding a wedding, “field trip,“ ”youth group event,“ yoga class or any ”gathering of 50 persons or more” without obtaining a permit beforehand.
-Operating a model airplane.
Have fun!
I can envision a sign the size of an IMAX screen… that should get about a third of the rules and regulations up. Thanks, lawyers, bureaucrats and sue-happy jerks!
Report Post »abbygirl1994
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 5:41pmAbsolutely no concept whats going on in this country, obviously doesn’t give a hoot either..God help the uneducated. Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Report Post »RJJinGadsden
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 7:07pmMARYBETHELIZABETH, Please, what have you been smoking? The USPS (notice the first two letters are US for United States) is completely a government operation. It is just supposed to be self supporting. While there are some vendors such as the rural delivery personnel who are most often not full time employees, everybody else is a government employee. The Postal Service is also in no way efficient with ridiculous union demands given into by part time bureaucrats who had no intellectual prowess or for that matter no skin in the game to deal with the unions during bargaining. They had all to often just given in to wild crazy demands we the tax payers are stuck with the decades of legacies.
Report Post »Another example. The welfare program. First, I am not knocking the recipients, so no need to get started there. During the Clinton Administration there were a number of studies of how efficient the government was at helping the needy. For each dollar allocated and as it filtered through the mass of government employees approximately $0.33 made it to the recipient. Hell, they can’t even give money away efficiently. Anyway, now to the recipient. Add to this the amount of welfare fraud is going on this exponentially multiplies even more in the hands of the government. We used to have bean counters who were careful with tax money. Now, we have massive fraud, waste, and abuse.
MBA
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 7:39pmHoly cr*p! There are really people this stupid in this country that really believe that bilge? Marybethelizabeth–how about going back to a real school and pay attention this time to economics, accounting, US history, and just to be sure you understand where your freedom to be stupid came from try a class on WWII history (that’s World War II to you).
Report Post »hypnos
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 7:55pmReally, Mary lizzy government has no constraints adleast a capitalistic free market has competition.
Report Post »hypnos
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 8:07pmHow much does the post office really cost it is payed for by us the tax payers and we still pay at the counter for this service is really cheaper after you take the subsidy away.
Report Post »LIBS-ARE-DINGLEHEADS
Posted on February 11, 2012 at 9:49pmName me one example. Then show this example to be better/faster/cheaper and ON BUDGET than it’s private “competitor”.
No?
Thought so.
Therefore, brilliantly absurd claptrap, brought to you by some liberal socialist “shared sacrifice” person who hasn’t a clue as to running a business, making a payroll, and delivering what they promised.
See, there’s a reason the government has no/wants no competition. The (main) reason is they cannot compete with the private sector. Ever. To provide this “cheaper” service that you absurdly claim, the government must over tax, over spend, and “create the atmosphere OF being ”cheaper.
But they have a ZERO track record of ever proving – over any decent length of time – that they can do it better and cheaper.
Report Post »jujubeebee
Posted on February 12, 2012 at 8:12amThe post office USPS is not cheaper than Fed Ex or UPS on packages that weigh anything. The cost of a letter is cheaper or a very light weight package….or maybe a very heavy package you can squeeze into a small flat rate box………but for the most part on alot of things the US Post Office is more costly to send a package. The Government run hospitals…VA hospitals are the bottom of the barrel. If you want Obamacare to stay you will not have the same healthcare you experience now …regardless of income….poor or rich, insured or not. They are dangling carrots in front of idiots with that and the idiots fall for the government run healthcare. All will suffer. Health and Human Service will decide who lives or gets a treatment based on age and cost with Obamacare. Doctors will opt out of medicare patients and companies will opt for cheaper fines versus covering employees and we will end up with a single payer system run by the government. The companies will proft and the little guy will get screwed with lousy government care. This is what will come to be if Obamacare is not repealed. I want to know how exactly these candidates are going to repeal it? Will they do away with Kathy Sebelius or the whole government department she runs?
Report Post »