Faith

Blaze Poll: Have You Ever Been Hurt By Your Church?

Be sure to take our poll about your church own experience at the end of the story:

Have You Ever Been Hurt By Your Church? | ChristianityChurches are known for being collective localities where worshippers can come together to observe the Almighty, while serving as a support system for people in need.

In practice, this ideal offers those facing seemingly insurmountable challenges with a framework comprised of fellow believers willing to pray for them and assist them in their hours of greatest need. But what happens when churches fail in this area?

While millions of Americans enjoy their church experiences, some have had less-than-favorable encounters with fellow parishioners. These people have been so hurt by their pastors and others in their churches that they’ve abandoned houses of worship all together. This week, Lifetree Cafe, the Christian event series, is exploring this tragic phenomenon in an effort to ignite discussion about this important subject.

Here‘s a recap of this week’s Lifetree Cafe discussion:

In an exclusive clip provided to The Blaze, one woman shares the story that led her to abandon her church. She describes her pastor‘s alleged reaction to her first son’s (Seth) birth defects. The faith leader blamed the boy’s special needs (he was born with Down Syndrome and other complications) on the woman’s sins. Here’s how she explains her dialogue with him:

“[My pastor said] ‘you need to ask forgiveness.‘ I said ’for what?’ because I thought he knew that I was frustrated with God and was anxious. And he said, ’cause Seth has this abnormality because of something you did.‘ And being taught that forgiveness is complete and it’s washed away…what could I have done? And I kept running through everything.”

This assertion — that she was responsible for her son’s Down Syndrome — caused her so much angst and pain that she decided to leave the church.

“I completely stopped going to church,” she explains. “The only way to get through that was to get out.”

Watch her share her story, below:

Lifetree is a weekly, coffee shop-like environment and event series in which individuals come together to explore issues related to God and culture. These events are planned at locations — mainly churches — around the nation and sometimes feature pre-taped videos. Here’s more about this unique program:

Have you had a similar experience? Take our poll, below:


Have you been hurt by church?

Comments (215)

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  • rt elms
    Posted on March 28, 2012 at 6:21pm

    Been hurt by a church or it’s leadership? Read “The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse” by Johnson & VanVonderen. I found it a great help in dealing with a particular situation with my church.

    Report Post » rt elms  
    • P C BE DAMNED
      Posted on March 28, 2012 at 6:53pm

      I had a spouse who tried to kill me often, even getting others to try to kill me. The pastor of our organization taught that if you would just wait and pray and show a good christian example the spouse would finally be brought to Jesus and be so sorry for the way they treated you. FOOLS! I have several bullet wounds and multiple knife wounds, one machete wound, been ran over by a car and sucker punched so many times I should be punch drunk, so damn people who teach such trash. I won’t attend church as the next person to preach this nonsense to me will probably think a demon has got a hold of them.

      Report Post » P C BE DAMNED  
    • ChiefGeorge
      Posted on March 28, 2012 at 7:03pm

      Nope never hurt by the church! But hurt by my local theatre while viewing Monumental last night. The film started with Kirk doing the prescreening party and once the Jesus song began to play the screen went black for about ten minutes while we sat in silence….no one complained. They finally got the thing running again and then almost rewinded it to the beginning. There was one more hiccup after that but the movie was great.

      Report Post » ChiefGeorge  
    • Female
      Posted on March 28, 2012 at 11:27pm

      PCBDND,

      I am really sorry to hear of the Church? adding to the abusive and painful homelife. Perhaps in your case; the advice should of been more like, “Pray at a distance!” Unfortunately, many religious systems have grieved the Holy Spirit right out of their sanctuaries, where the leaders themselves are controlling and abusive to their wives, congregations, and supportive others who do the same. They bind a woman to death and sometimes it is literal. I am glad you are physically safe, but I pray the LORD, whom took the time, compassion, and healing to so many in need of healing, faith, and His glorious love would overflow you with blessings and the beautiful contenance of a blushing bride.

      Blessings in Christ,
      Your Sister

      Report Post »  
    • nzkiwi
      Posted on March 29, 2012 at 5:16am

      Friends of my parents were staunch catholics who attended church and tithed even when they were short of money.

      The husband died suddenly and left his wife and three young children in serious financial difficulties. In desperation she went to her monsigneur for help.

      After all the time and money that her family had given the church, she was abruptly shown the door.

      Report Post »  
    • grudgywoof
      Posted on March 29, 2012 at 6:07am

      A church is a family of believers and they are afflicted with many of the same issues found in sibling disagreements. I left a church we helped start when the pastor we chose was just not our cup of tea. He was a Vanderbuilt University grad with a doctorate in theology and was very smart but bored us to tears. Other issues that were occuring made it clear to us that we needed to find a new church home (which took years because of our slacking off and using being hurt as an excuse) which was our mistake. We have been at our present church for almost 20 years now and have wanted to leave at some points but God has not showed us it was time yet. Remember it‘s a family of Gods people and all family’s have difficult times but we all seem to come back together.

      Report Post » grudgywoof  
    • nikki4girls
      Posted on March 29, 2012 at 8:11am

      I attended a church from 1983 til 2011.Was a family church full of love until a young pastor who grew up in my church and i supported took over.I was married,raised 4 daughters and had them dedicaited in my church so my roots ran deep.I fell out several years ago nothing to do with the church but the enemy had ahold of my life in the worst way.As i continued down a slippery slope of a lifestyle terriable things began to take place,that are to this day hard to talk about.I have repented and been set free Glory Be to God!I had a affair with a cousins husband in 2005(not in church at this time) and it bout distroyed me and my family.The worst was yet to come,after the affair was discovered and God reached down and began a work like ive never known before in me,the enemy went to work!I stayed isolated for 3yrs.seeking God and working on my marriage of 23years.I decided it was time for me to return to the house of God in which we all have attended sense childhood,went great for about 5 months until my cousin went to the pastor and said i needed to go.You must remember I have been forgiven by God at this piont an am doing well.I was asked about my motive and i gladly shared what God had begun to do for me through all this.That seem to make my pastor happy,until one day after chuch I was called without warning into the pastors study and ask to leave the church,me and my children.Devastation is the only word!Two weeks later my senior pastor who warned against this died suddenly:(

      Report Post »  
    • nikki4girls
      Posted on March 29, 2012 at 8:21am

      The rest of my story…So to some up my experience in 4 years time i bout lost my marriage,my family,my mother died in her sleep unexpectently at age 55,and was ask to leave the only place that made me feel safe (My church).When my senior pastor died unexpectently 2 weeks later i was so lost because he was against this action.The scarest part is my new minister says he shared my story with other local ministers and they all agreed id need to find a different place to worship,and my adult daughters would need to also.Through it all God has helped me grow by the leaps and the bounds,I dont have a church yet but study Gods word everyday.He has shown me so much through all this and I forgive those who hurt me.I still have my children and my husband and God is so good! Please if you have a simular story stay strong and let God take the wheel.He can and will turn your bad into good if you let Him:)

      Report Post »  
    • PALucier
      Posted on March 29, 2012 at 8:22am

      Jef Van Vonderren’s book is an excellent resource, along with “Spiritual Burnout” by Malcom Smith.

      Report Post »  
    • Belzar
      Posted on March 29, 2012 at 9:59am

      The leaders of the church are human but the teachings are divine. The decisions of some humans in our local church have injured me but I agree with the origin and the teaching of Christianity. I don’t attend mass like I should but I do support my church financially.

      Report Post »  
    • SgtB
      Posted on March 29, 2012 at 10:29am

      Well, my personal story goes like this…

      While my wife and I were living together for the 6 months prior to our marriage after having been dating since 9th grade, my wife’s uncle (a pastor) walked up to her while she was at her job and told her that she was evil and going to go to Hell for living with a man before being married.

      Also, when my wife was attending a church during high school, after more than 2 years with the church, she still had people who she’d met on several occasions asking her how her first day was.

      Lastly, my whole family on one side is hardcore Baptist. They have more problems than anyone I’ve ever met. Having kids in before they are 18, drug abuse, you name it. Yet my immediate family that never attended church and instead chose to just raise their children with some rules and expectations has done quite well. I personally think that church is just a support group for the worst society has to offer.

      Report Post » SgtB  
    • sWampy
      Posted on March 29, 2012 at 10:34am

      The money changers have corrupted most churches these days.

      Report Post »  
    • VerySeniorCitizen
      Posted on March 29, 2012 at 10:46am

      Have I ever been hurt by my church?
      YES! When I was three (3) years old, and my sister was five (5) the Bishop came to see my parents and explain WHY we children could not ever – NEVER – be accepted into the Catholic Church and receive communion. He explained that even while my dad still attended mass and tythed his promise, he had committed the unpardonable sin of marrying a ‘non-Catholic’ – civilly, after the church had refused to marry them because my mom wasn’t a Catholic. Therefore he had fathered TWO BASTARD CHILDREN (Yes, he told my parents that we children were ‘bastards’). So, according to the Catholic Church I am STILL a bastard – some 75 years later. So much for Newt‘s claim of ’redemption’!!

      And you wonder why so many of us turn to Atheism! NO God would lay the ‘sins’(?) of the parents onto the children. And exactly WHAT sin did my parents commit? They married until death – 62 years later, and I DARE ANYONE WHO CHALLENGES ME to try, just TRY, to get married in church – ANY church – without first applying for, and receiving, a permit from the State! Go ahead, try it!

      Report Post »  
    • Bluebonnet
      Posted on March 29, 2012 at 2:20pm

      One day, a man went to visit a church. He got there, parked his car and another car pulled up and the driver said, “I always park there, you took my place.”
      The visitor went inside for Sunday School and sat down. A young woman said, “that’s my seat, you took my place.”
      After Sunday school, the visitor went into the sanctuary and sat down. Another member walked up and said, :That’s where I always sit, you took my place.”
      Later as the congregation was praying for Christ to dwell among them, the visitor stood up and his appearance began to change. Horrible scars on his hands and feet.
      Another person noticed and asked, “what happened to you?” The visitor replied as his hat became a crown of thorns, and a tear fell from his eye, said, “I took YOUR place.”

      Have any of you been to a church where this has happened? I have.

      Report Post »  
    • GdHUs
      Posted on April 6, 2012 at 2:55am

      It pains me to read these sad posts of people dissatisfied with their church for one reason or another. Mine has been the center of my family’s life for 30 years now and has been the source of spiritual fulfillment and happiness. Sure, over the years I’ve been offended by a careless words spoken without thought here or there. But I came to the conclusion a long time ago that church is first and foremost a place to go to worship the living God and seek His kingdom. God‘s Holy Spirit fills me with such love that when I look around church I don’t see any liars, hypocrites, back biters, or sinners. I only see imperfect people like me who are sanctified only by the mercy of God through the Holy Ghost.

      Report Post » GdHUs  
  • Countrygirl1362
    Posted on March 28, 2012 at 6:20pm

    When my grandma die, I called the church that we were both members of. I was told by the person that answered the phone that the minister was to busy to be bothered. Needless to say, never called them again or went back.

    Report Post »  
    • AvengerK
      Posted on March 28, 2012 at 6:29pm

      Had a similar experience, we just contacted another church of our denomination in the area and the priest was not only accomodating but conducted a very respectful service as per the rites of the church. Needless to say…my family is now part of his congregation.

      Report Post »  
    • commonsensefreethinker1
      Posted on March 29, 2012 at 12:54pm

      Church is death stay far far away!!!!! RUN FORREST RUN!!!

      Report Post » commonsensefreethinker1  
    • Heb4Seven
      Posted on March 29, 2012 at 2:21pm

      I hope you were 100% confident the Minister was aware of the call you made? Sometimes volunteer office help, (who are just human beings) are not the best at taking messages or dealing with callers. Yet, some churches have to take what they can get if they are desperate for help.

      Report Post »  
  • Ginger Taylor
    Posted on March 28, 2012 at 6:17pm

    We were driven out of a church after we found that it was mishandling disabled children. We made the mistake of believing that the church would want to know and correct the problem. Instead they told us that we had to sign a gag order not to tell anyone what we had witnessed. We refused, they threw our kids out of school, us out of leadership, lied in a state investigation and smeared us in the community. We left the church, our family, the state and moved to the other side of the country.

    The church in America is so broken and corrupted.

    http://adventuresinautism.blogspot.com/2007/06/open-letter-of-rebuke-to-mark-brewer-of.html

    Report Post »  
    • lala76
      Posted on March 28, 2012 at 6:23pm

      The believer’s build the church, therefore those believer’s are broken. That’s much different than the church!

      Report Post »  
    • Bluebonnet
      Posted on March 29, 2012 at 2:12pm

      Pray

      Report Post »  
    • oneshiner
      Posted on March 29, 2012 at 5:10pm

      Years ago my elderly mother, who had severe allergic reaction to everything, had a big problem with perfumes. She’d go to church, find a seat away from people. When someone would come sit near her with loads of perfume on, she’d have to move and the people would act offended and hateful toward her. She asked the pastor if he could find a place for her away from smells. He acted non-caring and shrugged his shoulders. To this day, I won’t step foot in that church. My mom even tithed to that church and that’s all the help she got, nothing!.
      He didn’t understand, but could have designated a location away from others because there were several who had same problem with perfumes. It makes you sick smelling more than a whiff and some of those religious women bathe in it rather than take a bath. They could have put fold up chairs in the very back, and roped it off for those in need of clean air. She stays home and watches church programs on TV, prays and reads the bible. So much for caring church folks.
      Sometimes I find the more hateful than average people.

      Report Post »  
  • Jezreel
    Posted on March 28, 2012 at 6:14pm

    Organized religion is where Jesus separates the sheep from the goats. Usually, the sheep are beaten and driven away. The term “going to church” or “church” is a word that the translaters mistranslated and it makes no sense. It should have been translated “The Body”. Pastors are only mentioned once in the New Testament and are NOT leaders of the church. People who love to go to church to socialize and be entertained, well, so be it. To me, it is a waste of time and Jesus is abundant in the lives and hearts of those who are truly HIS. I never new what I was missing until I come out of the garbage of the system of religion. Since we have turned our backs upon organized religion, our lives are filled will the abundance of his prescence and blessings and answers to prayer constantly. He is able to do abundantly and exceedlingly above all we ask or think according to the power that works in us. You don’t have to go that building on Sundays to be prayed for if you are sick. You are supposed to get ahold of God for yourself and not depend upon man any longer. The system of religion is a snake pit. It is not the assemblying of the saints, they are gatherings programed by man where the flesh is exaulted in worldy entertainment and people who love to show off their voices and singing. God is not in it. God appears to the humble. We don’t serve the golden calf in our house. On Sundays, people are worshipping the golden calf, a false image of God that religion has taught them to b

    Report Post »  
    • REPUB1
      Posted on March 28, 2012 at 6:31pm

      OH BOY!!! Real Fellow Christians very well put.. been saying to people around me, where i moved to Virginia and those among my fellow workers keep asking me if i had found a church yet, and i reply No and why Not they Ask? and i reply to them hearing the things you say to me about your church and what you learned i dont need to hear or learn.. they dont understand me when i tell them a man or worman need nothing but Jesus Christ. Christ IS THE CHURCH Praise the Lord. and Bless you. for it was NOT flesh nor man that told you these things but GOD>

      Report Post »  
    • TomFerrari
      Posted on March 28, 2012 at 8:14pm

      Churches are made up of people. Nobody is perfect, except one, and he got crucified.
      If a church’s leaders are not leading a church correctly, it is our duty to stand up and make it known.
      Best to try to handle it privately, if possible. If that fails, or is not possible, then stand up in church and speak up publicly.
      My fiancée’s dad and my dad were on opposite sides of a rift in our church. (my Dad was a conservative). The church split over the doctrinal disagreement and as a result, I never got married.
      Still taking applications! LOL

      Report Post » TomFerrari  
    • Texas.7
      Posted on March 29, 2012 at 12:49am

      Agreeing with you is so very tempting, as I have been to my share of churches and usually don’t quite feel like I totally fit in. This is for a variety of reasons, and it isn’t their fault.

      My problem is that Charismatic churches appear to me too theatrical, with pressure to show manifestations of the Holy Spirit which may or may not be there. Theologically (maybe intellectually), I am more drawn towards Bible Churches. But they get into these exacting doctrines that sometimes make no sense to me, drawing from dispensationalists more than the Spirit of God. I have heard it all- “God doesn’t speak like that anymore”. “The gifts were taken once the Bible was complete” What?!? Is God dead? Not my God!

      Every belief is prescribed by teachers, who know no more than seekers asking God for the answers. I once had a Baptist preacher tell me that I was “reading too much into the Bible”.

      Churches have fallen asleep, taken on the baggage of tradition, orthodoxy and the very ceremony and regulations that angered Christ. In many, it feels that the Spirit isn’t welcome at all, and where the Spirit is welcome, we are subject to theatrics and pressures to display. Either the voice of God is shunned and experience is frowned upon, or everything hinges on the experience of the moment. I sometimes feel that if we could dump out all of the churches, and let the people gather together, we would have real church.

      But- here is the paradox…

      Report Post »  
    • Texas.7
      Posted on March 29, 2012 at 1:00am

      cont..
      Just before getting saved, God told me in a dream to participate in the building of the Church. I didn’t fully get it at first, but then I began to understand. It wasn’t about denomination, but it was about participating.

      I began to go to church, and soon found a wonderful church we were at for many years, with an extraordinary minister (who thought well outside of the denominations parameters in his views of God). To him, God was quite large, and denomination was small. He baptised me the very first time we met (without an examinations, just a couple of simple questions about my faith) because he was having a baptismal service, and God spoke to me through him- and he invited anyone else who wanted to get baptised to come forward. As it should be. The Ethiopian in Acts ch 8 asked what prevents me from being Baptised, to which Philip answers, that if you believe with all your heart, you may. Jesus said not to keep the children away, and we are to have the willing heart of children. But we have filled our churches with rules and committees, because we fear abuses of the faith that we have witnessed over time. We fear to release God fully (as if we can contain Him- but we can dampen the Spirit within the Body).

      The dilemma is that Church isn’t God- it is the joining of God with believers, and believers with others, as we too are joined in Christ, as it will be for eternity. That is why we are known by loving eachother.

      Report Post »  
    • Texas.7
      Posted on March 29, 2012 at 1:17am

      And I have had wonderful fellowship with believers in all denominations and as well as non-attenders. They are everywhere, and churches are only the way we organise ourselves.

      I have no answers, but wanted to share that my dilemma is that we need the organization, as well as the freedom in Christ. Organised religion gives us the ability to more easily join with others than living in our own little world (as I am to a large extent now, if I am to be honest). Churches provide the community, and do keep order (as we know, anarchy among mankind is not productive). And God is well pleased with so many believers of every denomination. If they are the part of the Body of Christ (and they are), why do I not fit in better?

      I have never been to a church where I didn‘t see the evidences of God’s hand at work in the lives of the members. I certainly don’t want to insult those churches, (though I may appear to have done just that with these observations.) But I am trying to describe my struggle.

      How do I belong and just keep my mouth shut for fear of insulting someone, without myself feeling alienated? I may be perpetually between churches, but I gladly embrace fellow believers in sincere love. And they are all around, and within almost every Church. They are my brothers and sisters, and I am not trying to complain. I should just keep looking, or find fellowship in multi-denominational settings instead.

      Report Post »  
    • nikki4girls
      Posted on March 29, 2012 at 8:32am

      Love this and it is sooo true Jesus is coming after a people not a building of sticks and stones and corrupt behavior.He lives in hearts and behavior not in a building that we only attend once a week.
      God Bless ,Thanks for posting:)

      Report Post »  
    • focalpoint
      Posted on March 29, 2012 at 10:28am

      There is a lot of truth in what you say in your comment: there are many churches that have become houses of entertainment. However, it is wrong for you to judge all churches to be the same. There are many congregations that still hold to principles of truth. Will every church be absolutely perfect? Not hardly. We will attain that perfect status when we figure out a way to keep all the humans out; until then, we‘ll just have to work with what we’ve got. That said, there are at least a couple of serious errors in your comment. 1). “Pastors are only mentioned once in the New Testament and are NOT leaders of the church” While the word pastor may be rarely used, the concept of having leaders in the church is a cornerstone of any group of believers. “Pastor” is another term for shepherd. Is the office misused? Absolutely. Is that a reson to abandon scriptural leadership principles? Of course not. One scripture actually says that we should “obey” them that watch for our souls. Today’s independent societal culture will reject that concept, but the idea is that there are those who have knowledge and wisdom (and these can be Gifts of the Spirit), and we should respect their advice. 2) “You don’t have to go that building on Sundays to be prayed for if you are sick”. Scripture says that if any is sick among you, let him call for the elders of the church, they shall anoint him with oil, and the prayer of faith shall save the sick. Mindless robots, no. Careful followers, yes.

      Report Post »  
  • dixiedown
    Posted on March 28, 2012 at 6:12pm

    All churches are “perfect” until I walk in the door. I am a flawed sinner. Churches are filled with people and as long as there are people in church there will be problems.God uses people we may not get a long with to smooth out our spiritual rough edges. It’s up to us as believers to show some grace and mercy while interacting with each other. Our Lord embodied that grace and mercy perfectly. Pastors are just people too, although ultimately they are held to a higher standard by God we should not expect perfection from them. Love covers a multitude of sins. So love people well. All people.

    Report Post » dixiedown  
  • REPUB1
    Posted on March 28, 2012 at 6:12pm

    @Trance

    quote “I didn’t lose my faith until many years later, though”

    How Can A Person Loose Something He or She Never Had In The 1st Place???.

    Report Post »  
    • alphaartist
      Posted on March 29, 2012 at 2:58am

      you cannot lose your salvation, however i do believe it may be possible to walk away from Yahoshua Ha Mashiach as is evidenced in Revelation 3:5 and in the fact that many disciples walked with Him no more (John 6:66)

      Report Post »  
    • P C BE DAMNED
      Posted on March 29, 2012 at 10:05am

      Alpha

      Are you saying that if I was saved and decided I did not want to be saved that I would be forced to be saved. So you are saying God would force me to be saved. I don’t believe this is the true God.

      Report Post » P C BE DAMNED  
  • Conservative Atheist
    Posted on March 28, 2012 at 6:07pm

    Everyone is hurt by church’s. The More brainwashed, manipulated sheep people walking around there are the worse off the world is

     
    • AvengerK
      Posted on March 28, 2012 at 6:37pm

      I’m always amused by so called “free thinkers” who attempt to paint the faithful as ignorant yet can’t even spell at an acceptable adult level. Try “Churches”..that’s plural. Funny….we wouldn‘t have the modern concept of hospitals if it weren’t for the christian church. Look up the Knights of St John champ. And we’ll just overlook the endless array of charities, institutions and help the christian church provides around the world. Yeah…we’re so worse off because of the church. By the way..we’ve already tried it your way sport. We got Stalin’s Russia, Maoist China, Khmer Rouge, Hiter’s Germany and a host of other “secular” regimes for our trouble. All of them vehemently secular and “humanist” regimes of the twentieth century..and responsible for countless hundreds of millions of deaths and incarcerations between them. Heck..China still has gulags. Yeah..we’re so worse off with churches around..that’s CHURCHES sport.

      Report Post »  
    • P C BE DAMNED
      Posted on March 28, 2012 at 6:56pm

      avenge

      I don’t give a damn for a man who can spell a word only one way. FOOOL

      Report Post » P C BE DAMNED  
    • mycomet123
      Posted on March 29, 2012 at 7:39am

      @AVENGERK, Well said! I’m sure you will agree with me on Psalm 53:1 The fool says in his heart, “There is no God.” They are corrupt, and their ways are vile: there is no one who does good.

      Report Post »  
    • Taquoshi
      Posted on March 29, 2012 at 9:40am

      Conservative Atheist – People are hurt by other people. Many of them happen to be church members, some happen to be pastors. This does not make churches inherently “bad”, it makes people have “bad experiences”, which are a part of life. For every time I’ve been hurt by a church, I can easily find a time when I was hurt by an employer, or a friend or relative. Doubt me? Read any edition of any newspaper.

      The bottom line is how do you handle it? Some people nurse their grievances, others try to learn from it and move on. Still others paint everyone with the broad strokes of revenge against the institution that hurt them. Jesus was also betrayed by one of his close friends and denied by another.

      Have I left churches? Yes, I’ve left three of them. Did I have reason to? Most certainly. Do I hate the members of those denominations? No. Do I currently attend a church? Yes.

      Report Post » Taquoshi  
    • Heb4Seven
      Posted on March 29, 2012 at 2:08pm

      @Avengerk, Well Said!!!

      Report Post »  
    • oneshiner
      Posted on March 29, 2012 at 6:31pm

      I went to a church for 10 years and never felt comfortable. To narrow it down the music was great, the rest was so-so. After a few things I found to be reprehensible I had problems going. I tithed, help out where I could, went to church at every service each week

      The straw that really broke my back was: One night the pastor asked those who could help with $1,000 each for a project, with eyes closed, put up your hand. I slipped up my hand with eyes closed. Then, he talked a bit and asked all those with hands raises to come down front. Is that kinda like letting the left hand know what the right hand was doing? I wasn’t about to go down to flaunt what I though was private contribution.
      I began to pull away from that church and stopped going. Was surprised to learn several years later that many also left. This church did too many skits, plays, corny things like riding a motorcycle on stage etc. All show and and no play, not enough bible reading with explaining the meaning, prayer and fellowship and seeking God.

      Report Post »  
  • wingnut1955
    Posted on March 28, 2012 at 6:03pm

    Never forget that Church are people and people are not perfect. The pastor who told the woman that her son’s birth defect was because of her sin, never read the Bible. Remember when Jesus healed the lame man and his Disciples asked who had sinned this man or his parents to make this man lame? Jesus’ answer would fit here as well. “Neither this man or his parents sinned, but so God should receive glory was this man born lame.” Until Jesus returns to the earth to reign the church will not be perfect. Even then there will be imperfect people in the church. People are hurt by their church only when they let themselves be hurt.

    Report Post » wingnut1955  
    • teamarcheson
      Posted on March 28, 2012 at 6:09pm

      My own Government has hurt me and nearly got me killed several times. If a pro-Constitution army begins forming I will offer my services. I took an oath to God to defend the US Constitution and I am bound to that oath. Besides the US Congress has already declared war on the American people.

      Report Post »  
    • princesssdaw25
      Posted on March 30, 2012 at 2:39am

      Nothing personal, but When I was molested by a church board member I don’t think that I let myself be hurt. My Dad was a pastor, so I did not just have the luxury of leaving when people lied, made up stories, passed out a false paper stating earnings we did not make, put a threat on our lives when I was a baby..Um there are a lot of twisted people in the church. This is the version of the church I grew up with..People playing a part including pastors. It’s rare in the church to meet real loving people who love God, I have only a few of those though:)

      Report Post »  
  • toomuchgovt
    Posted on March 28, 2012 at 5:58pm

    I miss hearing to gospel. I don’t miss attending church. I’ve never found any fellowship, I’ve never found anyone that welcomed me, my husband is a different faith and we have no children. So I guess people feel no need to “welcome” me. But I’ve never felt alone in church, I know God, Jesus and all the saints are with me. But the rumors these people can say about people, drive people away. One woman hit me, and started screaming lies about me. I guess if they see a woman sitting alone in church, they have nothing better to do but to make up a “story”. I’ve thought about changing religions.

    Report Post » toomuchgovt  
    • RaptorEP
      Posted on March 28, 2012 at 7:10pm

      What was done to you and others are wrong, but God gave us a choice and the right to choose if we follow His teachings. You were wronged by HUMANS and GOD still loves you. I suggest you try a Four-Square or Calvary church I never been in one that does what you describe, and check out http://www.pastorjerry.com and hear a message on the love of God he stays strictly of the Gospel and doesn’t pander to the hypocrites who want a “feel-good” experience.

      Report Post »  
  • Just_Us
    Posted on March 28, 2012 at 5:57pm

    I have attended church for a few decades. My experience has been that churches are full of sinners and sinners are likely to hurt you. The more one invests emotionally the more likely they are to get hurt. Too often we have higher expectations of those around us than we do of ourselves. Humility also seems to be in short supply as well. In a family, you can argue, fight, yell, eat together, clean up after one another, take care of each other and at the end of the day we are family. Family hurts one another….but they don’t go out of their way to HARM one another. If you are being harmed by a church, leave because that is not family. If you are being hurt, work it out, that’s just family.

    Report Post »  
    • dixiedown
      Posted on March 28, 2012 at 6:17pm

      Well said Just_Us. Great perspective.

      Report Post » dixiedown  
    • JQCitizen
      Posted on March 28, 2012 at 6:50pm

      Hear, Hear!!!

      Report Post »  
    • Jezreel
      Posted on March 28, 2012 at 7:22pm

      It is possible that you get along so well in organized religion because you don’t take a stand for the truth or speak up when you see sheep get abused. You may possibly be a happy follower of the pastor and pat him on the back and pay tithes and because of that, you get patted on the back back. Pastors often do not care and allow mistreatment of those who are not regular tithers because if the tithers leave, he don’t get a good paycheck. Benchwarmers enjoy the social function of the church on Sundays and love the potlucks and are often overweight. As long as they play the religious politics and get along, they do not care about the suffering of others. The people of God just don’t fit into organized religion. God will chasten them if they do. God makes life uncomfortable for those who are His. People who are comfortable in churches are most likely not saved and are unbelievers. The people of God are like the wind, they stir up and uncover and don’t realize for a long time why that always happens to them.

      Report Post »  
  • ZAP
    Posted on March 28, 2012 at 5:55pm

    Christ Church is spiritual,not a physical building.Worship in spirit and truth

    Report Post » ZAP  
  • team1blazer
    Posted on March 28, 2012 at 5:55pm

    The “church” belongs to Jesus Christ and as such, should reflect His Perfection. Unfortunately, the “church” is made up of flawed humans, who can never reach Perfection. We should all realize that the church is a mirror for us all to look at ourselves through, and TRY with Gods help to come closer to Him. I feel badly for all who have been “hurt by the church”…the sad fact is that they have been hurt by other humans….don’t let this get in the way with your relationship with your Creator.

    Report Post » team1blazer  
    • Texas.7
      Posted on March 29, 2012 at 1:32am

      And, our dilemma is that we are specifically called to participate with others in the gathering and edifying of other believers. That is why we are designed to need others, and why each of us is insufficient, given varying strengths and weaknesses. Separating from believers is opposite the entire message- we are to gather. We are a flock, and a connected Body.

      Report Post »  
  • SpeckledPup
    Posted on March 28, 2012 at 5:54pm

    does Sister BoomBoom Bernadine’s wicked chalkboard eraser-throwing skill and accidentally hitting ME as I bent over to pick up a pencil —instead of Stinky John in back of me — count??

    Report Post »  
  • FANGS
    Posted on March 28, 2012 at 5:51pm

    St Killians in Hartford Wi, Has the most Marxist Priest on the planet. He voted for Obama He supports Abortion, He hates Farmers and Small businesses and He signed the Walker recall petition. He constantly talks about Social justice and the 99% and 1% . The Parish has lost 1/3 of it’s members and more People walk out of mass every week. St Killians will go Bankrupt because of Him and only Him.

    Report Post »  
    • REPUB1
      Posted on March 28, 2012 at 6:04pm

      what do want from catholics???? sounds like a made up saints name to me

      Report Post »  
    • edmundburk
      Posted on March 28, 2012 at 9:37pm

      hate to tell you stupid but the catholic church is trhe only church who can cannonize saints.

      Report Post » edmundburk  
    • Attila_the_Hunney
      Posted on March 29, 2012 at 10:40pm

      I am a Catholic, a REAL Catholic. Not like the Marxist priests and a congregation full of obsequious, hypocritical sheeple afraid of their own shadows. It is a disgrace what has happened to the Catholic Church. I will not go back until these communist priests are gone and I see some spine from the congregation. Besides, I have nothing in common with people 72% of whom voted for obummer. Shame, shame on the Catholics. SHAME.

      Report Post »  
  • Trance
    Posted on March 28, 2012 at 5:47pm

    I used to go to school at a Lutheran church when I was a kid. There was a teacher there that used to beat the crap out of the kids. I remember my first week at school he grabbed one of the 8th graders, lifted him off the ground, and slammed him against the wall. At the time I thought maybe he was an out of control kid and deserved it. I found out different when the same thing happened to me on 2 different occasions. He was finally kicked out of the job when he grabbed my brother, and threw him into the desks because he thought he had done something when walking behind him. He hadn’t, but he was actually about to do something (like give him rabbit ears, or something like that). Luckily one of the girls complained to her parents, who were elders of the church. He was just moved to a different school though. Kinda like how the Catholics move around the child molesters. The teacher that replaced him was cool, though. I didn’t lose my faith until many years later, though.

    Report Post » Trance  
  • jungle J
    Posted on March 28, 2012 at 5:45pm

    Churches have become infected by the people that come there to get help…they then take over without becoming born again. Many churches are filled with people that hop from church to church ..creating chaos and then leaving to do it again at another.

    Report Post »  
  • Gonzo
    Posted on March 28, 2012 at 5:43pm

    I think I got my but smacked in Sunday school when I was 6…does that count?

    Report Post » Gonzo  
    • AvengerK
      Posted on March 28, 2012 at 6:30pm

      When I was a kid some wax dripped on my hand during an Easter service..that hurt.

      Report Post »  
  • TH30PH1LUS
    Posted on March 28, 2012 at 5:40pm

    “Hurt” is a very open and subjective term. Has anyone ever felt “hurt” by something a family member said or did?

    There is no such thing as a perfect church. On the other hand, there ARE real abuses by bad pastors and/or wacky teachings that can really damage people.

    Use the brains God gave you. If your church isn‘t teaching God’s Word, and is off on some strange doctrine – GET OUT.

    If someone said something that hurt your feelings, seek restoration. SO MANY people just soak in their offenses and allow that to define their spirituality. PLEASE read this book http://www.amazon.com/The-Bait-Satan-Anniversary-Devotional/dp/159185413X

    and find how God’s Word can free you from the trap of offenses.

    Report Post » TH30PH1LUS  
  • Nickmark59
    Posted on March 28, 2012 at 5:38pm

    The current church my wife attends and I will not needs not only an exorcism but an enema as well
    so many churches out there filed with nothing but members with venomous hate oh the story’s I could tell . That’s why I no longer attend church too many Hippocrates , losers and pathetic fools who think its Ok to insult others and act like in breeds because there a christian and there right and they will be saved. Really you need to take an inner look .

    Report Post »  
  • SpankDaMonkey
    Posted on March 28, 2012 at 5:37pm

    .
    I got hurt when I prayed for a Gazillion Dollars and didn’t get it……………..

    Report Post » SpankDaMonkey  
    • godhatesacoward
      Posted on March 28, 2012 at 5:45pm

      Of course you did Spanky. A “gazillion” come on bro, you greedy turd. What’s wrong with just a quadrillion? lol!

      Report Post » godhatesacoward  
    • godhatesacoward
      Posted on March 28, 2012 at 6:30pm

      BTW Spanky I think you and I have the same sense of humor. I know you are good for at least 1 or 2 good belly laughs daily!

      Report Post » godhatesacoward  
  • LouC57
    Posted on March 28, 2012 at 5:32pm

    I’ve been very fortunate to have been involved in 2 excellent churches, where the folks walked the walk…not a bunch of phonies. However, I didn’t feel like I did, no one ever made me feel bad about that.

    Report Post »  
    • Gonzo
      Posted on March 28, 2012 at 5:51pm

      Sounds like you made your self feel bad about it, keep going, it sounds like you’re in the right place.

      Report Post » Gonzo  
  • ZAP
    Posted on March 28, 2012 at 5:28pm

    Lifetree,where you can leave your bibles at home

    Report Post » ZAP  
    • ZAP
      Posted on March 28, 2012 at 5:34pm

      Don’t forget your thermos

      Report Post » ZAP  
  • godhatesacoward
    Posted on March 28, 2012 at 5:27pm

    Does falling asleep and smashing my forehead on the pew in front of me count?

    Report Post » godhatesacoward  
  • scuba13
    Posted on March 28, 2012 at 5:24pm

    The day I fell asleep in church and my mother slapped me on the side of my head. That hurt quite a bit.

    Report Post » scuba13  
  • ChildofJesus
    Posted on March 28, 2012 at 5:24pm

    yes. i’ve always felt like an outsider not just because my family and i believe a certain way but also for my disability. everyone had their group of friends I couldn’t really fit in much. and by the end our old church had segregated one side believed this and the other believed that and it was my way or the highway for one and live by grace for the other,it was a mess. luckily us kids had hightailed it to another church where we felt more alive and accepted, and my folks then decided to split as it was getting to be too much for them emotionally and spiritually. Not sure how it’s doing now, but thank God for telling us to leave before it got too bad.

    Report Post »  
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