Technology

Check Out These 7 Outrageous Toys You’ll Probably Never Buy But Still Want

Have you ever heard or been to the Hammacher Schlemmer website? It’s a product site with the slogan “offering the best, the only, and unexpected for 164 years.” Boy, do they ever.

The site is full of plenty of affordable and useful items, but it’s its lust-worthy but exorbitantly expensive toys that make it fun to poke around. Specifically, in its “unexpected” section, which one might imagine as like a pricier version of the “beyond” section at Bed Bath and Beyond, a few dozen toys that you’ve probably never even conceived of are there for the taking. That is, if you’re willing to pay the price.

There are a slew of items to choose from, but here are seven of our favorites.

  • The Aquapod Suite: For $91,000, the world’s only aquapod could be yours. Described as a “flying saucer” design that rests on the water with five feet submerged, the suite has AC, a desalination unit, mini-bar, king-size bed and more. It even has an “inflatable terrace” so you can fit all your friends for sunning. If you‘re worried about how you’ll get this vessel around from one island to another, it can be towed by a boat.
The Blaze Picks Top 7 From the Hammacher Schlemmers Most Unexpected List

(Photo: Hammacher Schlemmer)

  • The Flying Hovercraft: A 130-hp twin-cylinder, liquid-cooled gasoline engine is perfect for those wanting to “hop over water- or land-based obstacles” on their travels. Going up to 70, miles per hour, the hovercraft has a 160-mile range and can support a pilot and passengers up to 600 total pounds. It costs $191,000.
The Blaze Picks Top 7 From the Hammacher Schlemmers Most Unexpected List

(Photo: Hammacher Schlemmer)

  • The Genuine PT Boat: Own a functioning slice of WWII history — with all weapons present but deactivated — with one of only 12 patrol torpedo boats left in the world. Special limitations apply with this $1 million purchase.
The Blaze Picks Top 7 From the Hammacher Schlemmers Most Unexpected List

(Photo: Hammacher Schlemmer)

  • The Oenophile’s Personal Winery: You may never need to purchase another box of wine again. This $6,000 machine “vinifies” up to four cases of vino at a time. You won’t even need a vineyard to make this happen. According to the posting, Napa Valley grapes will be crushed, frozen and sent to you.
The Blaze Picks Top 7 From the Hammacher Schlemmers Most Unexpected List

(Photo: Hammacher and Schlemmer)

  • The Barbecue Dining Boat: BBQ in the round — and on the water (literally) — with this floating contraption that seats 10 adults. Making the perfect use of space, it stores all your sides and extra supplies under the seats. Given that you’re right on the water, the fact that the grill is charcoal heated shouldn’t be a problem. It will also only set you back $50,000.
The Blaze Picks Top 7 From the Hammacher Schlemmers Most Unexpected List

(Photo: Hammacher Schlemmer)

  • The Electric Skates: Are you ready to pony up $699.95 for this Christmas list topper? Kids won’t even have to lift up their feet with these babies that go up to eight miles per hour. The ideal use for the skates, as said by Hammacher Schlemmer, is “travel across a school campus, to a local cafe, or while roaming a neighborhood festival.”
The Blaze Picks Top 7 From the Hammacher Schlemmers Most Unexpected List

(Photo: Hammacher Schlemmer)

  • The 20 Foot Animatronic Triceratops: Who wouldn’t want to bring Jurassic Park into their very own backyard? Believe it or not, this animatronic creature has facial recognition technology that tracks subject’s movements to signal it to perform certain actions, such as sway its head or stomp its feat. The Triceratops not only looks realistic but has vocals of what the beast may have sounded like.
The Blaze Picks Top 7 From the Hammacher Schlemmers Most Unexpected List

(Photo: Hammacher Schlemmer)

If you liked this list, check out The Blaze’s top 10 picks of most expensive, outrageous and nerdy grill tools here.

This story has been updated to correct a photo. 

(H/T: Daily Mail)

Comments (50)

1 2
  • blair152
    Posted on July 26, 2012 at 2:01pm

    I wish I had the jack to afford them.

    Report Post »  
  • Dangerous Freedom
    Posted on July 26, 2012 at 12:50pm

    Oh, I’d like that PT boat. But I’d like the weaponry functioning… Now THAT would be a fun toy.

    Report Post »  
    • Dismayed Veteran
      Posted on July 26, 2012 at 2:50pm

      There is a provision for a naval militia. Buy it and become the next John Paul Jones.

      Report Post » Dismayed Veteran  
    • Chet Hempstead
      Posted on July 27, 2012 at 2:57pm

      “Special limitations apply with this $1 million purchase”

      I haven’t looked into what those are, but I’m guessing that means you aren’t allowed to rearm it and sink other boats.

      Report Post »  
  • LeadNotFollow
    Posted on July 26, 2012 at 11:50am

    …
    If I won a huge lottery, I might would spring for the 20 Foot Animatronics Triceratops.
    Until then, I would settle for the electric skates.

    Report Post »  
  • Wringeaux
    Posted on July 26, 2012 at 10:24am

    Article says:
    The site is full of plenty of affordable and useful items, but it’s its lust-worthy but exorbitantly expensive toys that make it fun to poke around.

    What?

    Report Post » Wringeaux  
  • NOTALOTTAYITTAYADDA
    Posted on July 26, 2012 at 9:20am

    I’v had the blueprints for the ground effect hovercraft for 15yrs. Never got the funds together to build it, but hey I still took that one step. Using a Subaru engine, it’s top speed is just over 70mph. The wings call for a canvas made of spectra (one of the highest strength to weight ratio of man made materias).

    Report Post »  
  • battles
    Posted on July 26, 2012 at 8:55am

    The 20 Foot Animatronic Triceratops – A great way to terrify your young children.

    Report Post » battles  
  • wisehiney
    Posted on July 26, 2012 at 8:17am

    Layabout deadbeat democrat weasel toys.

    Report Post »  
  • mjazzguitar
    Posted on July 26, 2012 at 8:08am

    You’re out on the water real classy, four or five couples, having a BBQ with drinks, and nature calls…

    Report Post »  
  • Heisrisenindeed
    Posted on July 26, 2012 at 8:03am

    Massively boring stuff for a lot of money. The last one is hilarious in that triceratops more than like likely never existed in the form shown.

    Report Post »  
  • BOMUSTGO
    Posted on July 26, 2012 at 5:02am

    That was not a hover craft.That was a W.I.G. aircraft (Wing in Ground effect craft).It can fly only aboutten feetoff the water.

    Report Post » BOMUSTGO  
  • JACKTHETOAD
    Posted on July 26, 2012 at 2:16am

    I knew a guy once that was so rich, he had a toy that played with itself. (Ba-dump-dump.)

    Report Post » JACKTHETOAD  
  • mharry860
    Posted on July 26, 2012 at 1:04am

    I want that Triceratops, I have so many good ideas for that one. I expect moving it around might be a problem though.

    Report Post » mharry860  
    • Josh2007
      Posted on July 26, 2012 at 2:46am

      On my computer it is two pictures of the automatic skates. Anyone else have this problem?
      I see typos daily, yet another Blaze spoof to me; I love The Blaze but it is a bit odd…

      Dear The Blaze,

      Will you please hire me as a proofreader/editor? I would not charge much, but rather would love the opportunity to work for you. I can even do this job from home and on the go, via a smartphone.

      Thank you for your time, you have my contact information.

      Respectfully,

      Josh

      Report Post »  
  • SCREW-WINDOWS
    Posted on July 26, 2012 at 1:01am

    That PT Boat might be fun as I live on the bay and I could harass those pesky Canadians.

    Report Post » SCREW-WINDOWS  
  • Stoic one
    Posted on July 26, 2012 at 12:43am

    The Room Tidying Pickup Robot
    http://www.hammacher.com/Product/Default.aspx?sku=78568&refsku=11907&xsp=3&promo=xsells

    this will be great for the grand sons

    Report Post » Stoic one  
    • inblack
      Posted on July 26, 2012 at 12:57am

      It won’t work.

      Report Post »  
    • Stoic one
      Posted on July 26, 2012 at 1:33am

      (Ha Haa!)

      Then the two boys will have hours of frustration trying to make it work. (evil grin)

      Report Post » Stoic one  
  • JUSTANOTHEROPINION
    Posted on July 25, 2012 at 11:54pm

    I told my wife I wanted one of the Barbecue Dining Boats and she said “tell you what, Wish in your right hand and pee in your left, then to get back to her next week and let her know how it turned out”. I took that as forget about it and moved on.

    Report Post »  
  • Wool-Free Vision
    Posted on July 25, 2012 at 11:48pm

    It is uncanny how much the animatronic triceratops resembles a pair of electric skates. Could it be that the animatronic triceratops is the end product of the evolution of electric skates? Or maybe the animatronic triceratops is the “missing link” between an actual triceratops and electric skates… SCIENCE!

    Report Post » Wool-Free Vision  
    • lylejk
      Posted on July 26, 2012 at 12:01am

      lol; noticed that too. Hopefuly they will correct the picture soon, but then only a few will know what you were talking about. ;)

      :)

      Report Post » lylejk  
    • FugMan
      Posted on July 26, 2012 at 12:37am

      I noticed that too. Its a great idea actually and I have already realized how to improve them. Patent pending.

      Report Post » FugMan  
  • RightThinking1
    Posted on July 25, 2012 at 11:35pm

    I had in mind a Lexus LFA. Checked with my wife…, she’s still laughing.

    Report Post »  
    • Stoic one
      Posted on July 26, 2012 at 1:26am

      My wife would not even laugh… (roll her eyes) just say:
      ” can I use the computer? you go use the laptop”

      Report Post » Stoic one  
  • searching for the Truth
    Posted on July 25, 2012 at 11:20pm

    You know . If people with lots of money would just help out some poor family in need , their dollar would go a lot longer way – and they would practically have a loyal friend for life – or, just buy junk !

    Report Post »  
    • Guitarcarl
      Posted on July 25, 2012 at 11:47pm

      People with lot’s of money in America are some of the most generous and charitable people on Earth. They are heavily taxed to provide for ever increasing numbers of people who refuse to provide for themselves. In Obama’s America they are judged and vilified just for being successful. Maybe you should mind your own business and allow free people to spend their money on whatever they want!

      Report Post »  
    • Matt
      Posted on July 25, 2012 at 11:58pm

      You do realize that these toys are not grown on trees right? That by buying any one of those toys they have in effect created jobs because someone had to be employed to make the toy. And since its a very expensive toy, its unlikely that it was built in China, more likely, those are american jobs baby!

      Report Post »  
    • inblack
      Posted on July 26, 2012 at 1:03am

      Sorry, giving money away usually creates contempt not gratitude and has lots of negative effects on the person.

      If you have spare cash the best thing you can do is start a business and employ people.

      A job is more valuable to a person than a handout, it brings greater dignity, it is more socially just and it allows the employee to either invest in themselves, another business or give their money away.

      A job is paying someone to produce, charity is paying someone to not produce. The only moral charity is disaster relief or true short term help.

      Report Post »  
    • semplar
      Posted on July 26, 2012 at 1:31am

      I definitely agree with doing more than just tossing a few dollars at the guy on the street corner.

      If you honestly feel bad about the poor, then consider paying more for higher quality goods. Go shop at your local grocer instead of Walmart, Fred Meyer or w/e. Yes, of course those inexpensive goods at the mega stores help some Americans too but if you’ve got the extra cash, why not help your neighborhood entrepreneurs and his employees by buying their goods instead. You’ll often find that the goods are of a higher quality and the customer service is often excellent. The cashier may even get to know your name.

      Farmers often have trouble making ends meet so consider buying your produce from them directly at the farmer’s market. If you find a good one, then you’ll be able to get your food fresher and with fewer pesticides than you can find at any grocery store.

      Donate your money AND time to local charities. There is probably a free adult education school in your nearby urban neighborhood–go volunteer to teach there.

      There is so much more that you can do to have a lasting impact than simply giving someone a few dollars to grab a meal to last through the day. You can give a man a fish…

      Report Post »  
    • Wool-Free Vision
      Posted on July 26, 2012 at 3:39am

      Thank you, GuitarCarl, Matt, InBlack, and Semplar. Four of the wisest comments I have read all week. Kudos to all four of you. Comments like these give me hope for this once-great nation.

      Report Post » Wool-Free Vision  
    • searching for the Truth
      Posted on July 26, 2012 at 7:37am

      Ha ! You guy’s are funny – greedy too – but funny.

      Report Post »  
    • DIR
      Posted on July 26, 2012 at 4:14pm

      @SEARCHING ….. : “Ha ! You guy’s are funny – greedy too – but funny”

      Greedy, how so? These ‘guys’ gave their openions, and wise ones at that! How does that qualify them as greedy? Just curious.

      By the way they don’t diminish your original ideas, to which they responded, in the least, which are also valid.

      Report Post »  
    • searching for the Truth
      Posted on July 27, 2012 at 7:05am

      Wisdom only comes from God – wouldn’t want to bring Him into the matter.

      Report Post »  
  • RedNeckMormon
    Posted on July 25, 2012 at 11:04pm

    They didn’t build those things…..

    Report Post » RedNeckMormon  
    • Matt
      Posted on July 25, 2012 at 11:59pm

      Little known fact, all those toys were actually created when a government made road had sex with a government made highway. Thats right, they had TEN babies. Suck on that Octomom! And suck on that business owners, cuz you didn’t build ANY of that!

      Report Post »  
  • stanstureezon
    Posted on July 25, 2012 at 11:03pm

    I did not get to see the picture of the Triceratops in my Firefox browser.
    Did people with other browsers see the picture? I saw the picture of the
    electric skates again instead. And hey, who proofs these? Should not “stomp
    its feat“ be ”stomp its feet”?

    Report Post »  
    • Matt
      Posted on July 26, 2012 at 12:00am

      Its not your browser, whoever wrote the article put the wrong link in for the triceratops. Its skates for everyone.

      Report Post »  
    • Chet Hempstead
      Posted on July 26, 2012 at 1:04am

      Click on the link in the description and it will take you to the catalog to see what it looks like. It’s pretty cool, but it costs 350 grand. For a mere 50,000, however, you can have the 8 foot tall animatronic Robbie the Robot that looks just like the one in Forbidden Planet.

      Report Post »  
  • Anamah
    Posted on July 25, 2012 at 11:03pm

    I’m sure someone else built it…

    Report Post »  
  • LowIQGenius
    Posted on July 25, 2012 at 10:54pm

    I’m digging the flying hovercraft!

    Report Post »  
  • Paul
    Posted on July 25, 2012 at 10:36pm

    Junk….

    Report Post » Paul  
  • TelepromoterNChief
    Posted on July 25, 2012 at 10:33pm

    I wonder who built the roads to take credit for these businesses?

    Report Post »  
  • right-wing-waco
    Posted on July 25, 2012 at 10:31pm

    Wow, everything I never wanted.

    Report Post »  
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