‘Confused’: Sheen’s Opening Night Lives Down To Expectations
- Posted on April 3, 2011 at 1:25am by
Mike Opelka
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Charlie Sheen fired off the first ‘torpedo of truth’ in Detroit tonight and based on early reports, those holding tickets for the remaining nineteen events scheduled around the country may want to cut their losses via Ebay. Then again, it may already be too late.
As of midnight Sunday, the internet auction site lists no fewer than 1346 offerings of various sizes in your choice of locations.
One report claimed that less than ten minutes into the program, people started walking out, demanding refunds;
The Fox affiliate in Detroit was on the scene, reporting from the show BEFORE it ended;
Sheen, the walking train-wreck that captivated many in the low status-consensus Snookysphere, arrived in an already bruised and battered Detroit apparently thinking this was going to be ‘easy pickens.’ However, based on the timeline/review provided by EW’s James Hibberd, Charlie had bad intel.
7:50 p.m. ET — Lovefest: Outside Fox Theater, Melissa Shovlin and Haley Clark — two young women wearing homemade “Winning!” T-shirts (see picture below) — are asked what they expected from the show. “We have no idea,” says Shovlin, “that’s part of the excitement.” Is she concerned about Sheen’s mental state, given his recent tendency towards multimedia outbursts? “Everybody is a little crazy,” she shrugs off. She also notes, “I think in this environment, he’ll be a little more free to jump around like a snake in a chair.”
Geoff Resek, an attendee from Connecticut, declares that Sheen will use his theatrical performance “to prove he’s completely sober, because he wants to win.” In general, the atmosphere outside is irony-free: People are here because they find Sheen hilarious, because they have always found Sheen hilarious, and because they are officially in support of his “winning” transformation. They are more devoted to Sheen than the media, but they simultaneously are taking him less seriously.
Inside the theater, the program for the evening (which cost $20) features a collection of Sheen’s radio quips — “I’m on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen.” — and pictures of the actor. The T-shirts are selling briskly. A popular one for $30 declares “F—ing Brilliant!”
7:59 — You cannot walk through the crowd without hearing someone say “Winning.” There are girls wearing tiger-striped pants, and assorted custom Sheen quips T-shirts. The Midwestern crowd has come from all over, devout followers of the Vatican’s most famous assassin.
8:13 — The show is supposed to start at 8 p.m. A geeky comedian who is decisively notCharlie Sheen comes onstage and begins a set. There is some booing from the audience, followed by chanting: “Charlie! Charlie!” The booing gets louder.
8:17 — The comedian starts a joke: “I found out exactly how I’m going to die–” Someone in the audience yells, “Yeah, onstage!” Note to comedians: If Charlie Sheen asks you to open for him, say “No.”
8:19 — Here is just a sample of this painful opening act: “Shouldn’t they call the defibrillator a difibra-now?” Sheen himself comes out to defend the comic, telling the audience to give him a chance. The actor receives a standing ovation. Sheen says that he’ll be right back out, and exits. The comedian continues his set. Problem: This is a rock concert atmosphere, and nobody wants a stand-up act. They’re here for the warlock.
8:30 – The comedian has been literally booed off the stage.
8:32 — That’s weird. The lights have come back up, and the audience is waiting again. Everyone is confused — it’s not clear why the show started and then stopped again. So far, this has the makings of a disaster, the Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark of celebrity stage acts.
8:53 — The show officially begins with a mock iPhone ad, advertising the “MaSheen.” This app will be used throughout the show to introduce each segment. Two attractive scantily clad women — contest winners Kelly Jean and Lisa Jaques — come onstage to sing the national anthem before a waving flag. They’re not exactly great singers. “Do it topless!” one audience member shouts.
8:58 — Film clips are playing onscreen. Die Hard, Midnight Express, Taxi Driver, Animal House, Sheen’s own Platoon, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, and (of course) Apocalypse Now. There’s no context, just the violent clips. One imagines it’s like being inside Sheen’s fever dream and the experience is taking on a Clockwork Orange quality.
9:00 — Two goddesses are now making out onstage. And finally, Charlie Sheen returns. He holds up a sports shirt of the style that’s worn by his Two and a Half Men character and puts it on. The audience gamely boos. The Two and a Half Men theme song plays and is intercut with a scene from a classic film of a man screaming “Turn it off!” Then, Sheen grabs a Detroit Tigers shirt instead. The crowd roars and gives him a standing ovation. Regarding the Men shirt, Sheen says, “Take that out and burn it.” On video, the girls burn the shirt backstage.
9:07 — Sheen steps behind a presidential-style podium that proclaims “Warlock States of Sheen.” Guitarist Robert Pattinson is playing onstage. Sheen begins a lengthy speech in his newfound semi-coherent metaphor-stuffed neo-Hunter S. Thompson style, talking about his “napalm dripping brain.” “I’m here to solve a portion of this grand mystery,” he says.
9:08 — Sheen: “I am finally here to identify and train the Vatican assassin locked inside each and every one of you.”
To read the rest of Hibberd’s timeline click here!
Paying to watch Charlie Sheen live tweeting on stage. Only in America.
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Comments (172)
quarter horseman
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 5:31amI love seeing a liberal slowly die! just like the women say on your show by Charlie.
Report Post »dcwu
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 5:26amSheen and Dean should swap drugs.
Report Post »MIBUGNU2
Posted on April 6, 2011 at 5:12pmBetween the two, the cartels will remain in business.
Report Post »dcwu
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 5:11amBummer man.
Report Post »Randyrocker
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 4:35amNot even winning ugly.
Report Post »alaskajohn
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 4:15amThis people are nothing more than rubberneckers slowing down to look at a disaster. They looked, and saw a disaster.
Report Post »Fight for America
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 4:07amThey paid to see a human train wreck and they got what they paid for. Enabling him to continue having his breakdown or continue to self-destruct on stage pretty much doesn’t mean the audience he attracted had his best interests or theirs in mind. He got their money so in a sick way he won this sad game.
It gets a little old trying to laugh at someone who is “unarmed”.
Report Post »Islesfordian
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 7:45amWhat they thought they would see was a train wreck. What they actually got was an out-of-sequence slide show of a train wreck narrated by the drunken conductor.
Report Post »mrmikejohnson
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 4:06amHow can you attend a Charlie Sheen show and ask for a refund? What were you expecting? You knew going in that it was going to suck.
Report Post »Jonny Quest
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 3:51amOperative word for those of us who yearn for the demise of the career of The Colossal Bore Named Charlie Sheen:
“WINNING!”
Report Post »tom
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 3:42amWonder if liberals like Sheen, O’ Donnell, all of Hollywood, Obama administration, would agree we’re now considering eating our murdered babies in the womb?
LARGO, Florida, March 29, 2011 (LifeSiteNews.com) – Pepsico, Kraft Foods, and Nestlé are among the corporations partnered with a biotech company found using aborted fetal cell lines to test food flavor enhancers, according to a pro-life watchdog group.
Pray for mankind, God will handle this!
Report Post »entropy
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 3:37amSheen’s father was a good man. A liberal, but at least he had some dignity. This kid Charlie is a fricking moron. A typical Hollywood dumbass.
Report Post »Diane TX
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 3:20am(rolling my eyes) I divorced my husband because he became a crack addict. Cocaine physically alters one’s brain. (Yes, it does.) It turns people into paranoids – “everyone is against them”. It’s amazing that anyone except drug and alcohol abusers would pay to see the paranoid mind of Charlie Sheen.
I‘m sorry that Sheen’s children will never have a loving father in their lives. Maybe their mothers will find grownup men to be fathers to them.
Report Post »biernd
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 2:24amI don‘t know what’s worse, the fact Sheen is putting on a show or the idots that actually bought tickets to support that wife beating, drug taking imbecile. I’d be embarrassed to be seen coming out of the show. What have we come to that people paid to see this idot. He’s an actor that made a living saying things other people wrote. What do you think he was going to say????? He’s no rocket scientist,
Report Post »Rob_M
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 2:24amHe‘s amusing when it’s for free on you tube. Who is going to pay for it?
Report Post »marine249
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 2:23amboom bomb whatever
Report Post »marine249
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 2:22amyou must have a lot of spare time any money to
Report Post »go see this dip or you wanted to see an ass boom
Red Max
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 2:20amWinning+Tiger Blood+Warlock=Lots of $$ extracted by Charlie Sheen from from the suckers who by now should know that he’s nothing but a loser.
Report Post »Showtime
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 1:49amCharlie Sheen Gives Washington a Lesson in Fiscal Responsibility
Posted on April 1, 2011 by Conservative Byte
Maybe the lawmakers in Congress can pick up tips from the Rockstar from Mars. Charlie Sheen doesn’t exactly epitomize responsibility, but even he knows how to live within his means.
Sheen earned about $30 million last year and spent just around half that sum, according to a new video by Bankrupting America. Congress, by comparison, brought in $2.3 trillion in taxes — but spent $3.6 trillion, one and a half times the amount received.
Report Post »Exrepublisheep
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 2:06amsorry for off topic but oprah made 315 Million last year.
Report Post »sissykatz
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 2:06amGood morning Show
Who would have thought Charlie could teach anyone anything? I cannot believe those people paid that much money to go see a train wreck. I bet in this economy that was a real stretch for some people.I can’t feel sorry for them though, I would not have paid that to spend the day with him. He really does need help, Personally I don’t like him straight or drunk. The “Winning” thing was funny but he just gets on my nerves. I do wonder if he is indeed that narcacistic. He is just pathetic to me
Report Post »maryslittlelamb
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 1:48pmA long time ago the late Roger Miller said of his cocaine experience (in retrospect) that he thought he was being brilliant when actually he was falling on his face. Probably why coke heads have a hair-trigger temper, the people around them don’t measure up to their own (supposed) brilliance.
Report Post »Showtime
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 1:44amSheen babbled on his computer webcam. He babbled on the stage. I cannot believe he has fans. I can’t believe there are people who would actually pay cash to see him.
I’d rather read The Blaze. I’d rather watch Glenn Beck, a rerun of Beck, Cavuto, Hannity, or even Bill O’Reilly.
Report Post »CatB
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 1:52amFor a lot less money and a much better time .. in that same theater I have seen Phantom of the Opera .. Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat (with Donnie Osmond) and quite a few other shows ….
Report Post »CatB
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 2:00amand that included transportation and dinner before the show! Those people were fools to pay this self-indulgent drug addict to feed his ego and bank account (which will most likely go right into more drugs)
Report Post »DaytonConserve
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 2:54amWatch Alan Colmes or Charlie Sheen. Difficult choice.
Report Post »Brasil2520
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 1:42amFor people to pay to watch a drug addict, it’s really a sad time in society
Report Post »RepubliCorp
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 6:17amA druggie that has never done stand-up………
Report Post »Chicago Ray
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 6:45amNope but he‘s done a lot of inebriated laying down trashed and smashed and that’s what they got last night, the standing up version… ;)
Report Post »CatB
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 1:37am“Sheen tells the audience, “You paid your hard-earned money without knowing what this show was about.” ”
Yes and that is why Detroit was a good place to start …. now hopefully this little “sideshow” will die a quick death.
Report Post »Showtime
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 1:45amWhat are you doing up this hour of the morning?
Report Post »CatB
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 1:47amListening to “BONES” and thinking I should go to bed … YOU?
Report Post »Showtime
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 1:54amBusted!
MarysLittleLamb asked me the same thing the other night when I asked her what she was doing up at 3:00 a.m.!
I’m fixing to eat a sandwich and put it to bed.
Report Post »Showtime
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 1:35amDidn’t he say that he paid $300 to see that show?
Report Post »Exrepublisheep
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 1:34amlost.
Report Post »CatB
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 1:46amLosing!
Report Post »Showtime
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 1:34amAt $300 a pop — What ALL I could have done with the price of one ticket!
Report Post »CatB
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 1:39amThey were spending some of that Obama money ….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19v5Kjmc8FI
Report Post »Hmschlmom
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 3:05amThey paid THREE HUNDRED BUCKS a ticket to see this nut?
What I could do with that…one ticket would JUST about cover core curriculum for one of my kids homeschool for next year.
Two would cover most of the cost of core curriculum for both of them.
Guess it must be nice to have money to flush down the toilet to watch a drug addled moron self destruct.
No, I think I could STILL find better things to do with it…
Report Post »Taquoshi
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 7:57amThat‘s a week’s take home for me, or a car payment.
As P.T. Barnum said, “There’s a sucker born every minute.”
Report Post »GIDEON612
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 10:44amWhat is not commonly reported here is that the ticket agents bought up the tickets in record numbers, not his worshipers. They thought that they were going to make a killing gouging the price and further tax the people around here. They in fact could not give away the tickets at showtime.
Boom, whining………..
Lord, I pray that you open Charlie’s eyes and make Yourself very, very real to him.
Report Post »In Jesus’ Mighty Name I pray, Amen.
poverty.sucks
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 1:31amShould have booked the Aussie Bully
Report Post »GIDEON612
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 9:11amAgreed, at least he stood for something. I am in the Detroit area and I am ashamed that he sold one ticket. But at least this state is turning away from the (D) side. No, not the democratic party, the demonic party.
I invite you all to look at what that party stands for on the same light as Glenn explained the Book of Revelation and the opposites therein. Every value they hold is contrary to The Truth and the Bible .
(D) – -as opposed to God
-Abortion-Sacrificing babies.
-Compassion for convicted murderers-Take a life lose your life.
-Gay marriage and sex-Men laying with a Men as a woman.
-Gays in the military-Effeminate removed from camp.
I can go on and on and on with this. Search the scriptures for yourself.
Report Post »“As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”
Robert-CA
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 2:06pmI wish that someone was giving the audience free T shirts I AM STUPID after the show @ the exit .
Report Post »cjherin
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 1:31amI feel no sympathy for the audience. They got what they deserved.
Report Post »CatB
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 1:37amNow they will have to fumigate the FOX Theater.
Report Post »thepatriotdave
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 1:40amTo : Mike Opelka
Not being rude… but I thought I would let you in on a little secret. Not many here really care about Charlie Sheen. just saying…
Our proof CNN Tea Party Poll is Bogus!
Report Post »http://www.americasteapartynews.com/cnnpoll.php
CatB
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 1:41amHe must have had some really good security .. to get out alive … it’s Detroit.
Report Post »Showtime
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 1:52am“10:20 — Sheen plays the track he recorded with Snopp Dogg. But Snoop, despite promises, is a no-show. Curtain closes. Fans angry.”
Report Post »~~~~~~~~~~~
Snopp Dog?
Snowleopard {gallery of cat folks}
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 2:04amSo the Sheens ‘Torpedo of Truth” did live up to one set of expectations; those being of just how utterly awful it truly is.
Report Post »joseph Fawcett
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 2:21amThis is what they get, wanting to see a person who has major problems! They all wanted to see Sheen do something crazy, and they have. Real “crazy” is not pretty, mental illness is not comedy. I am not surprised at this at all. However, I am surprised that his handlers and the producers of this show didn‘t get writers and professional people on board to make sure this didn’t happen. Maybe they will now. Sheen is very mentally ill, and hopefully he may get some serious help now, then again maybe not.
http://www.josephfawcettart.com western artist
Report Post »home_of_the_brave
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 2:32amSomehow it’s always more entertaining to watch a person having a meltdown from the comfort of your couch than on stage. I give the show three weeks tops!
Report Post »tierrah
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 2:50am@Show: Snoop Dog = Rapper
Report Post »spikebu
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 3:12amDid these people really expect to see something other than what they saw? Do they have brain tumors? Hey Dave? I don‘t give a rat’s a$$ about Charlie Sheen. He’s got his own family. They can worry about him. Not my job! Am I supposed to care about your extended family? Do you care about mine? What’s your point?
Report Post »spikebu
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 3:24amSorry, Dave. I just got your point (had to get through many layers of my brain).
Report Post »mrsmileyface
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 3:25amThere are 2 idiots in this scenero. 1 – Sheen and 2 the ones who paid to see. 1 idiot + many idiots = EPIC FAIL
Report Post »walkwithme1966
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 3:58amI am afraid that Charlie’s brain is fried – someone needs to get him into a real rehab situation and get him healthy again. http://maboulette.wordpress.com
Report Post »kuuk1
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 4:07amLet’s see, Sheen makes a lot off noise that he is doing a show, but don‘t tell anyone what it’s about…people lose their mind and buy tickets for hundreds of dollars…now they want a refund, they got what they paid for….nothing (stupid people). Just like Obama, made a some noise, nobody knew anything about him…people lost their minds and voted for him, they got what they voted for-a bunch of nothing (Again, stupid people). I will vote with the TEA party people at least they stop to evaluate then vote, now these are smart people no matter what there place in life is!
Report Post »Creestof
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 6:39amI don’t know what anyone could be surprsed about. He announced that he was going to do this idiocy less than 6 weeks ago. How do you decide on the act and write it in that little time? I mean…it is not like he has any talent…other than standing where he is told and reading what others have written.
Who was going to write the act for this stage show? The whore? The failed actress whose shining moment was to land on the cover of a magazine devoted to marijuana? The browm nosing black hanging around in hopes of being in Major League 3? The two hillbilly enabler friends who do not appear to be trustworthy enough to be left alone with sheep?
I’m sure his “tiger blood” would not allow him to hire writers…he is to much of a “winner” to need that.
In the end, this was another example of what our pathetic country has devolved into…people cheering on a drug addled, mentally disturbed loser…all for their own entertainment. Only turning on him when they actually PAID for the entertainment.
I’m actually surprised anyone walked out…isn’t this the end result they hoped for while standing in “Sheen’s Corner” all this time…in hopes he would sink deeper and deeper into this lunacy so they all could laugh at him and call people “trolls” and chant “winning”?
Report Post »Deb C
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 7:11amDavid vs Goliath = who really won ?
Report Post »Taquoshi
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 7:53amTo Mike Opelka,
I’m sorry you had to sit through that. Maybe you could ask for combat pay? Glad you got out safely, it sounds like it was starting to get ugly.
“I am finally here to identify and train the Vatican assassin locked inside each and every one of you.”
I understand that Charlie’s family is Roman Catholic, and he clearly hates the R.C. church, but not everyone in the United States is Roman Catholic. Sadly, it looks like the only person who will be assassinated is Charlie Sheen, and it may even be self inflicted. But then again, I’m a rational being and he is not.
Report Post »TxGold
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 8:24amExactly!
Report Post »Down2TheC
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 9:03amIt’s like watching YouTube, but you get to pay someone first. What a brilliant audience.
Report Post »JoeBtfsplk
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 9:33amFrom a quote by ME…
“You can’t ignore a Train-wreck” – made by myself over a week ago.
Not much to look at after the wreck – unless crumpled and mangled train-cars are your idea of “fascinating” !
Come see me perform at the FOX Theatre in Detroit – only $50. per ticket!
Report Post »mwhaley
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 9:37amCharlie is not stupid. He knew what city to go to scam. Any state that carried Obama can be sold anything. My bet is, if he came back next week the same people would buy front row tickets. Since he knows that someone was stupid enough to pay $300 online this will be starting price.
Report Post »TXPilot
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 10:25amPortrait of a person in a downward spiral…I wonder how long it will be til we get to read the story about him being found dead…face down in his own vomit.
Report Post »jhaydeng
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 10:47amThey paid for a train wreck and got one! Satisfied customers!
Report Post »mill
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 11:25amCharlie is in the process of his own personal train wreck..
and everybody loves a good wreck to rubber neck at..unfortunately for Charlie. He really should be ignored and pitied…left to go about healing
Report Post »Showtime
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 11:36am@tierrah
Report Post »Posted on April 3, 2011 at 2:50am
@Show: Snoop Dog = Rapper
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yes, but the story said “Snopp Dog.”
Secret Squirrel
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 12:11pm………….
Report Post »The crowd must have been the UAW guys spending the stimulus money.
Nobody else is left in Detroit.
banjarmon
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 12:42pmPeople throwing their money away…It could have helped pay for their obama-care….
Report Post »Anti_Spock
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 12:58pm“losing!”
Report Post »CatB
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 12:58pmwalkwithme1966
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 3:58am
I am afraid that Charlie’s brain is fried – someone needs to get him into a real rehab situation and get him healthy again
___________________________________________
Once the brain is fried .. it stays fried (I used to work for community mental health .. I have seen this more times than you can imagine– you don’t come back) .. .too bad for his kids .. he is one SORRY EXCUSE of a father.
Report Post »AnOregonian
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 1:25pmHis fans ruined it..lol, nuf said.
Report Post »TurnRight
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 1:32pmCharlie Sheen needs years of therapy…and the people who spend their hard earned money
Report Post »on this sick man are just Fools and deserved what they got. Absolutely nothing.
Gold Coin & Economic News
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 4:28pmThis will not end well and will identify Sheen for the loser he is.
Report Post »Sgt.Crust
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 5:32pmThe dud-thud you heard was all of his fans jaws dropping to the floor from boredom! Sheen is a loser, face it.
Report Post »joe conservative
Posted on April 3, 2011 at 5:57pmThey got exactly what they deserved. What did these people expect from Sheen?
Report Post »http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11eYGdOVnvc
jtorres1212
Posted on April 5, 2011 at 2:27amWithout having read any of the comments, I have only one response: They deserve to lose any money that they paid for tickets!! What idiots and losers that only want to watch the meltdown and bad karma stuff!!! Leave poor Charlie Sheen alone! Let’s pray that he and his family will find peace!
Report Post »