Does Having Children Make You Unhappy?
- Posted on May 23, 2011 at 5:07pm by
Billy Hallowell
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Do your kids make you unhappy?
According to some researchers, the answer is “yes.” The commonly-held belief that having children is a sure-fire key to emotional fulfillment is being turned on its head, as recent studies show that children do anything but increase levels of personal happiness. Coinciding with this research is the reality that more women than ever exit their childbearing years without having kids. And, the more educated women are, the less likely they are to have children. According to CNN:
Nearly one in five American women now ends her childbearing years without having a child, compared with one in ten in the 1970s, according to recently released U.S. Census data.
Robin Simon, a sociology professor, claims that “depression and emotional distress” are more common in American adults who have children:
“As a group, parents of all types and all socioeconomic levels in the United States report more symptoms of depression and emotional distress than their childless adult counterparts.”
CNN highlights another professor — Harvard’s Daniel Gilbert — who has found similar results. According to Gilbert’s analysis, psychologists have noted that parents are more happy eating, enjoying television and exercising than they are “interacting with their kids.” In examining a number of studies, he found “…that children give adults many things, but an “increase in daily happiness is probably not among them.”
Anyone who has children knows that they’re a joy. That being said, there are certainly challenges to parenting. Mothers (and sometimes fathers) often lose flexibility in terms of jobs and work schedules. And, let’s not forget the expense of having a child. Both of these elements can certainly lead to stress.
Another piece of research, though, finds that the more children an individual over the age of 40 has, the happier he or she will be. This essentially points to the fact that kids become less of a stress factor, generally speaking, as they age.
It should be noted that lifestyle likely plays a key role in stress and unhappiness. Each culture embraces various trends, traditions and roles that impact children and adults, alike. Thus, one would assume that the level of unhappiness varies with time, location and emerging cultural patterns.
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Comments (185)
christianUSA
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 6:11pmRaise kids the liberal way and ideas brings grief disappointment less like to have grandchildren.
Report Post »ADNIL
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 6:09pmWe learn how to parent from our parents. My mother told me several times when I was VERY young “I love you honey, but if I had it to do over again, I’d have never had you.” (WTF??????) As a result, I refused to play with baby dolls and by the time I was 12 years old, decided that I would never procreate. Teach your children well.
Report Post »TexasArmyMomx2
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 6:21pmAdnil, that is horrible. I’m sorry you had to hear that!
Report Post »adouglass1
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 6:24pmYou are right and your mother was wrong God bless her but she was very wrong for saying that to you!! Do not follow or fall for this because of that kids are a blessing i.e you seem to have turned out fine even with a crazy mother dont get upset please but she was wrong!! Oftentimes as people parents say and do things that they could wish they would take back. I love my kids and know that im just human but I dont use that as an excuse either.
Report Post »MOLLYPITCHER
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 6:39pm@adnil
Report Post »Sorry that happened. No parent should treat their child that way.
ADNIL
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 7:32pmThank you all for your kind words. My mother did recant and apologize, many years later, for that an other things when I was caring for her while she was dying from cancer. But by then I was in my 50′s. We did manage to become close at the end of her life but all the while growing up I never felt wanted. OH well……such is life. At least we finally connected.
Report Post »UlyssesP
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 6:07pmMaybe, if you’re Casey Anthony.
Report Post »HTuttle
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 6:05pmSure seems to make folks talk about nothing else.
Report Post »Amy
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 6:04pmThis must be the ‘overpopulation’ group trying to influence the young folks from having kids. The one thing missing from life now is those ‘terrible’ little grand-kids. (Sigh) I selected my daughter’s name during Christian confirmation at the age of 14. Less than 20 years later – there she was kicking and screaming :)
Report Post »SlimnRanger
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 5:58pmI am a Father of 3 and they are the joy of my life,they are grown now and on their own,but when they were little those were the happiest times in my life,yes a pain at times but it was worth it,they are good citizens and attend Church regularly,I am sooooo proud
Report Post »miles from nowhere
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 5:49pmIf it bothers you —- do not have children>
Report Post »Sinista MACE
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 5:45pmNo.
Report Post »Sky0bserv3r
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 5:43pmAll my ups and downs come from my wife and 6 kids. I would not have it any other way. My 7 happies times of my life are when I marred my wife, and when my kids were born. I have so maney more happy times with my family that forget the bad times.
Report Post »papa2thdoc
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 5:36pmThe kid was great but the wife made me miserable!
Report Post »adouglass1
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 5:40pmI agree but would you say that is you for making the choice her?
Report Post »EddardinWinter
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 5:35pmInteresting question. I can only speak for my experience with my four sons. They do make me crazy at times, but without any doubt, they bring much more joy and meaning to my life than any other thing I spend my time on.
Parents are under unbelievable pressure today, but much of it is a self imposed condition. Unreasonable expectations and self projection are easy traps to fall into (including this writer).
Report Post »calamitykate
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 5:34pmI wonder if the higher rate of child-less women is infulenced by the increase of women in the work place and the womens rights movement? Sad, children are treated more like an STD and less like the purpose of life (if you think about it in a purely biological way, we are truly only here to pass on our DNA) every day.
I LOVE MY BABY!
Report Post »sacrificeforkids
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 5:31pmNo,,, how do i cancel my AOL,,, it already is now a Left Propaganda tool… facebook too,,
Report Post »poverty.sucks
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 5:30pmThe fruit I bear makes me happy. They’re a Gift from God, I intend to take care of them and prepare them for what he has planned.
Herman Cain states you can’t change anybody to do anything, yet happy people are self motivated. 3 traits of a happy person is having someone to love, something to do, goals to accomplish. Get to know people of those 3 things, and you have an easier opportunity to motivate them to work on your level.
Report Post »timej31
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 6:43pmThe 3 most important things in my life are breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Report Post »Rollo2
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 11:40pmBreakfast, lunch, and dinner? That’s some strange names for your kids!!
Report Post »hawk_shaw_shank
Posted on May 25, 2011 at 3:18pmTIMEJ31 must be an actor or musician. A few examples: Moon Unit Zappa, Apple, Seven, Sailor Lee, Pilot Inspektor, Bluebell Madonna, Tabooger, God’iss Love Stone, Bronx Mowgli.
Report Post »Just goes to show you that not everyone should have kids.
adouglass1
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 5:29pmYes sure they get on your nerves sometimes but I see and hear stuff from them that I would no longer think about being an adult. I would not change anything about having kids. To those old maids and lonely people that decide against having kids to pursue work and whatnot. Well I hope nothing ever happens to you that you will need someone to look after you like oh getting old!! good luck getting abused in the old folks home by someone else’s kids….lol. God gave us commands and guess what if your parents hadnt obeyed you would not be here!! This is just some more ******* progressive Marxist etc etc way to get people to stop having babies!! lol if you fall for it than shame on you!!
Report Post »adouglass1
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 5:38pmTry raising them being involved turn off the tv put down the Xbox etc.. If not they will turn out like Critical atheist and all the other trolls!! lol.. get involved find joy and your own happiness!! They say funny very important things if you as a parent just take the time to look. What ever happened about the old hag that was worried she didnt have kids? Now its the other way? Why because some so called smart researchers think so please!! Im smart and educated but my word is not the gospel and you can quote me on that! Think for yourself I honestly would hope that if you feel that about not having kids then don’t!! Its better in a multitude of ways..your kids would feel that you didnt want them and that would mess them up more than anything..
Report Post »adouglass1
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 6:04pmI would add that its more of the intense pressure to provide just not the basics but a more well rounded experience for them these days. That is going places seeing things having experiences, not from the kids themselves but from all the outward pressure. Like before I opened up my business being told by my boss I dont care if your kids sick or hurt you cant have the day off, but just came from a week long vacation with his own family….hypocrite. You mean you cant get someone lese to install Directv( what I was doing at the time) for 6 customers all I was doing that day. I was a valued employee showed up all the time on time etc, never asked for much, bought some of my own supplied without a fuss which was ridicoulous!! I fired him and told him to shove something literally not I didnt but I wanted to!!
Report Post »spirited
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 5:28pmA new entitlement program based on combining the research in this article:
The uneducated young should bear children
so that
the educated over forty can raise them.
>Then everybody can be happy!
Report Post »Christabel
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 5:25pmThe parents that I know who are truely unhappy, don’t know how to handle themselves. Instead of enjoying their kids growing up, the simply go through the motions, throwing the same old birthday parties, or being around other parents who don’t enjoy their kids, or just doing whatever the TV tells them to do to raise their kids.
Report Post »But the parents I know that truely feel blessed are innovative, spontaneous, and make life work for them, thick and thin.
I understand the depression part, but it’s because some parents (not all) need to open up their lives a bit. Live a little. Their children will thank them for it.
dmforman
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 9:32pmThe parents that don’t enjoy their children, need to not be so selfish and look at their children as blessings instead of hindrances. These parents also need to stop trying to keep up with the Jones’. I don‘t care what other people do or don’t have. Raising a child who is a productive member of society, who can think, and solve problems is my goal and if I am able to do that, than I feel that I have done my job.
Report Post »GhostOfJefferson
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 5:23pmAh, nice. Good to see they’re starting the agitprop aimed at finally doing away with families as a concept. Want kids? You’ll not get to have 24/7 fun Me Time! Don’t do it! No, really, science says you’re, like, totally gonna, you know, like, hate it and stuff, like fo’ shuh…
What is happiness anyway? Last check the things that make me happy today at 43 are nothing like what made me happy at 20. Your happiness is dependent on your mindset, and if your mindset is based on narcissism then sure, you’d hate having kids. If you’re a compassionate decent human being, you’ll find joy in your children. They apparently interviewed 18 year olds and self absorbed hacks to get these results.
Are kids a full time job? In a way, yes. But they also supply a lot of wonderful returns.
But yeah, the agitprop is on the table now for the totally self-absorbed upcoming generation. Joy.
Report Post »rmberry
Posted on May 24, 2011 at 2:37amNot based on narcissism, no. What about just not liking kids? Everyone doesn’t like chocolate, and people don’t lose their minds over it and accuse them of being selfish bastards for not worshiping the cocoa bean.
Happiness is that state of consciousness which proceeds from the achievement of one’s values. Happiness is a state of non-contradictory joy—a joy without penalty or guilt, a joy that does not clash with any of your values and does not work for your own destruction. Just as I do not consider the pleasure of others as the goal of my life, so I do not consider my pleasure as the goal of the lives of others.
So yeah, my idea of happiness isn’t linked to what anyone else says it should be. And for those of you that would call me narcissistic or in-compassionate or indecent because it doesn’t involve me sacrificing to have rugrats, well, there’s an anatomical function that I suggest you all try to do to yourselves.
Report Post »ConservativeFTW
Posted on May 24, 2011 at 2:42amWell said…happiness is a state of mind and shouldn‘t be measured by what you physically have or don’t have. Seems to me, a lot of parents on this thread see themselves as better than those who do not have kids thereby equating their precious offspring to material items. And those who don’t have kids are the ones being labeled as selfish???
Report Post »Next2hvn
Posted on May 24, 2011 at 11:15amExactly! I don’t relate to kids .. that does not make me a bad person.
Report Post »Rowgue
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 5:23pmThe answer to that question is going to depend on who you are polling.
Some people just don’t like children to begin with, and have no semblance of family values. Of course having children is going to make them unhappy. Children complicate your life exponentially, and if the parents are incabable of seeing the joys of raising children then they are going to resent them.
Report Post »Showtime
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 5:21pmConditions under which raising children exist can be stressful, but the children themselves are a joy.
Being married to their father can be depressing, stressful, and frustrating. You just have to do your best to be supportive of the relationship, and don’t worry. After 21 years and his changing into a man I did not marry and thus could not trust, admire, and respect him — all ingredients necessary for me to love a person, I had to divorce him for my own sanity.
Report Post »adouglass1
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 6:37pmShowtime true and good point I feel that same way about my wife as you feel about your Ex!! Well i can say that I made a bad choice not the kids but who I decided to have them with, but if I hadnt with her they wouldnt be who they are!!
Report Post »ObamaBinLyin
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 7:12pmYes, I share your thoughts on that. Perhaps the next study will be entitled “does being married to your childrens’ father make you unhappy?” I predict there would be many more yesses than nos, IMO. (Sigh.)
Report Post »Steel Awesome
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 5:20pmMore psychological warfare from the Bilderbergers who are trying to reduce earth’s population through nefarious means.
Report Post »GODSAMERICA
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 5:20pmThe only reason that having children might make parents unhappy is because these days all the “parents” care about is being able to go out and party and run around and be able to take off and go anywhere they want to at a moments notice. It’s called self-centeredness.
Report Post »spirited
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 5:44pmWe are oh, …so progressive, so global, …we‘re so ’connected’,
….that we have disrupted the individual ‘family’ norms.
Leave It To Beaver & June Cleaver became an iconic white impossibility; rather than an inspiration –or, even calming or enjoyable entertainment based on a potential ideology.
Even many of the ‘poor’ have cell/i phones, electronic games, cable, the in-style footwear and clothing, eat fast-foods, etc…
>Keeping up with the Joneses used to be a subtle aspiration, –then, became the norm.
Report Post »chickenlittle
Posted on May 24, 2011 at 9:03am@ SPIRITED… You have the best sum-up of the problems creating unhappiness for parents, based on my personal experiences. I can truly say from experience that the constant battle with the progressive dissolving of American culture, especially in the schools and with the technology, has made it nearly impossible to raise kids to be responsible Americans… getting “shouted down” from your kids used to be a situation to be dealt with within the family. Now, the nanny-state promotes and rewards permissiveness and lack of ethics to such a level that parents of good upbringing themselves feel barraged from ALL sides.
Report Post »chris3
Posted on May 24, 2011 at 11:25pmno, my friend, it‘s the baby boomer grandparents who won’t stay married long enough to watch the kids for a sat. night,so mom&dad can go out,after cleansing their kids of the crap that’s thrown at them by said genneration
Report Post »TexasBlaze
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 5:19pmGreat. “…the more educated women are the less likely they are to have children…”
That means only the dumb-a$$ mouth-breatheing breeders and Octo-wannabes are left to bear the litters of illiterates who will feed on the government teats. We are doomed.
And that’s not racial: the teat-suckers are equal opportunity races, by the way.
Report Post »nzkiwi
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 7:08pmOr you will be out-bred by muslims, which is what is happening in Europe – as a deliberate strategy.
Report Post »grandma7
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 8:46pmNZ = exactly the plan – check out France – soon to be a Muslim nation!!
Report Post »grandma7
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 8:49pmSorry, I meant = NZKIWI
Report Post »dmforman
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 9:29pmThere are those of us that have the number of children that we can afford to raise and educate well.
I would love to bring all of the needy children home, but I realize that my husband and I are unable to deal with so many problems and we want a happy, stable home for us and our family. Yes, we are a family of one child, who waited until we were able to afford children and work hard to raise him as best we can. Hubby and I are both educated. Hubby has a PhD, and I have a masters plus credits. I stay home and raise my child.
Report Post »Rearden Steel
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 10:00pmHere’s the video version of what you just said (the opening scene to the movie Idiocracy):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSROlfR7WTo
Report Post »Anti.Intellectual.Counter.Clockwise
Posted on May 24, 2011 at 4:38amInteresting how this attitude and the one on acceptance of gay marriage (if both“studies” are reliable) are coming out about the same time. They eventually converge, as gay marriage is the surefire way to counter the Bible as well as prevent procreation at the same time. Who hates God enough to want the elimination of those created in His image?
Report Post »hawk_shaw_shank
Posted on May 25, 2011 at 1:06pmHey Psychosis,
My husband and I chose not to have children. It does not make us less caring or more selfish. Instead of children, we have had to help some of our friends who have children both financially and emotionally. One got divorced, lost his job and his car. We got him a job, paid some of his bills, and he lived with us for free for 6 months (meals, laundry, borrowed my car, etc.). He is now back on his feet and thanked us for saving his life. That’s what friends do for each other.
Report Post »hawk_shaw_shank
Posted on May 25, 2011 at 1:09pmTexasBlaze. Have you seen the movie Idiocracy?
Report Post »El Paco
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 5:19pmHaha. Yea, 90% of fufilment even though they do drive you nuts 100% of the time :P
Can’t wait to have kids!!
Report Post »Psychosis
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 5:18pmwhat they fail to mention is that those adults with children are less selfish and more caring than those without, have meaning in their life, and care more about others than those without
Report Post »Showtime
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 5:22pmDid you get an email from me this afternoon?
Report Post »EnoughBS
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 5:42pmmaybe they didn‘t mention it because it isn’t true.
Report Post »Libertarian
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 5:48pmThis study should have said – Is America happier without children, or is CNN introducing a spin on the liberal concept of population control through social-media engineering? If in fact people are not happier with children, and this study proves it – then it is evidence that we are in the Me, My and I generations.
I cannot imagine life without my two sons.
Report Post »CatB
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 6:21pmI get it .. abortion good .. babies and kids bad .. progressives strike again .
Perhaps if parents weren’t having to “deal” with the garbage going on in public schools they would be “happier” .. I know when I sent my son to a Christian school I was MUCH happier and so was he!
TEA!
Report Post »D0ntTread0nMe
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 6:29pmI can tell you with 100% certainty that my children are the best of me, and though they may make me crazy most days… this study forgets to ask… was it worth it…
Report Post »http://www.mythoughtsfromthemiddle.blogspot.com
booger71
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 6:58pmDoes Having Children Make You Unhappy?
Only if they turn into liberals
Report Post »nzkiwi
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 7:05pmWhat a load of politically spun drivel. All parents that I know – including ourselves, consider themselves blessed to have children. True, we would be able to go to the movies or dinner more often, and we would certainly have more money, but for what? Self indulgence? That is fun in the short term, but at the end of your days, not very satisfying.
I feel sorry for people that don’t have children. I thought that I was going to be one of them for a while, but then I got married – much to everyone’s surprise (including my own), had children, and am now one of the happiest people that I know. (This is not to say that our children aren’t occasionally for sale to the highest bidder, however!)
Report Post »Psychosis
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 7:46pm@ showtime
ya i got a few from you, looking into the information not quite sure whats going on but im sure it will be interesting
did jb release that information he you were talking about yet ?
Report Post »sooner12
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 7:47pmThis may be off topic a little, but……….the two things that came out of my marriage were my children and thirty years plus later they still give me joy.
Report Post »biohazard23
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 8:03pmAnother thing they forgot to mention is that kids will depress you not only if they become Liberals, but if they grow up believing that Odumbo really is the messiah.
Report Post »kindling
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 8:24pmThat describes my mother. She hated having children and never failed to tell us how much we ruined her llife. I have always felt sorry for her because I have children and could not be happier. The difference is she was very selfish and I believe she may have has a personality disorder so I can’t really get to mad at her.
Report Post »grandma7
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 8:42pmYet another plan to stop us from having children. Indoctrinate the adults. It worked in France & Europe and they keep pushing in the US, too. We must hold strong. Children are our future. If your experience with your children isn’t as you hoped, wait for the grandchildren. God talks to you through your grandchildren – - – Our Blessings for having children – - – Our Future. After they are grown, they will take over – - – do we want someone else’s children running Our country – - – those parents are working hard to see that Our children don’t run Our country.
Report Post »NeoFan
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 8:44pmHave you ever met older people that never had children? If happiness is measured by selfishness then yes they are the happiest people in the world.
Report Post »Celticelfyn
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 8:44pmThats not true!! And quit a horrible thing to say. Some of us figured on not having kids unless we were in a committed stable relationship. That not very selfish! Thats a smart thing to do!
Report Post »101
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 8:48pmChildren do increase levels of personal happiness : )
Who were they polling? Welfare recipients that have kids to boost their “entitlements checks”!
Report Post »RathlokSlam
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 8:49pmSoftening us up for a 1 child per family limit like China I am sure.. I read a story in Time months ago that gave me the same exact feeling
Report Post »NeoFan
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 9:02pmSorry Celticelfyn. I forgot about you.
Report Post »kippyb
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 9:30pm“what they fail to mention is that those adults with children are less selfish and more caring than those without, have meaning in their life, and care more about others than those without”
That’s not very nice… there‘s a lot of people that can’t have children, and you’ve basically just called them selfish and less caring, and accused them of not having meaning in their life. Not very nice…
Report Post »Meyvn
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 9:36pmNo. Far from it, unless you are way to self serving and self centered, which is much of our problem here in the USSA IMHO.
Report Post »AmericanStrega
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 9:36pmI beg to differ. I do not have children, by choice. But I will still give the shirt off my back to help another. I do this because I am an American – Human. My only hope is that when I am in need some other American-Human will help me.
Report Post »crazydaisy
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 9:56pmYou’ve obviously never met my sisters.
Report Post »Rearden Steel
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 9:59pmI try to only comment when I know I have something good to say, and this is one of those times. Watch this opening clip from the movie Idiocracy (or search for it on youtube if you are skeptical about clicking on links like I am):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSROlfR7WTo
Report Post »Citizen
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 10:01pmChrist did not have kids.
I dont view this world as a good place, I know who the prince of this world is and would not subject someone to it but I understand those who do.
Report Post »Captain Crunch
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 10:19pmObama’s parents must have been unhappy judging by how their offspring turned out.
Report Post »godlovinmom
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 10:25pmHaving four children of my own…DEFINETLY made my life happier…and grandchildren are a bonus…grandpa and I look at little grandbaby and think she is the most wonderful thing God created…ALOT of hard work though…Have to agree with Michelle Bachman on the fact that the family is very important to America…I say if you are gonna have kids…raise them yourself…and if you don’t..I wish I was you!!!! ;)
Report Post »revel222
Posted on May 23, 2011 at 10:45pmI disagree with this research. The next thing you know…the government will be telling us how many children to have so we don’t get depressed. Beware of ridiculous research!!!
Report Post »Suzee
Posted on May 24, 2011 at 12:13amThey always quote ‘according to a study’ but it is like relying on polls. Does any one examine what questions were asked, what demographic did the study incorporate, were the subjects of the study of a political influence, total subjects in the study…etc. etc. etc. The media grabs onto anything, especially of late, no research and no critical thinking before they publish it. We are a divided nation: Those who think critically, research, examine both sides, then analyze contrasted with who grasp on to any study that supports their agenda, This is why we are in such trouble in our great USA…we have allowed too many of these to be churned out of colleges, they have a degree, then are put in positions that influence the rest of us. Many just got through the college thing, knowing in their gut that something was wrong but were so berated that they thought their common sense thinking was in the minority. Now that we are all speaking out, some with college educations, some self taught, some just wanting to live a life without the formal education but all know that common sense heart/gut feeling when we know right and wrong. HE knows what will happen next, whether America stands or not, but HE gathered the Israelite and he will gather those of us grafted to HIS tree……hang on keep that heart/gut common sense knowledge & stand up in HIS NAME (then let the chips fall where they may) all is good. Let us enjoy the ride!
Report Post »Nico Santos
Posted on May 24, 2011 at 12:31amPsychosis wrote:”those adults with children are less selfish and more caring than those without, have meaning in their life, and care more about others than those without.”
Way to generalize there Psycho. I totally disagree. What about those people who have children just to check that off of their life’s to-do list. Graduate college-check, start a career-check, get married-check, buy a house-check, get a dog-check, have children-check. That isn’t selfish? Speaking for myslef, I‘m over 40 and I still simply can not imagine being someon’s dad. I have given it a lot of thought and soul searching, but I always arrive at the same place…no kids for me. I don‘t believe I’m any of the things you describe because I’ve chosen not to bring children into the world. This kind of attitude really ticks me the hell off!
Report Post »AWAKENEDAWARE
Posted on May 24, 2011 at 12:54amWe are less HAPPY because we fear that we have brought children into a SH#THOLE WORLD with upside down morals and facade after facade that requires a MK19 to penetrate a layer of…
of COURSE we with children are sad and disenfranchised. I mean, lets teach a few more 11 year olds how to use condoms, 8 year olds to use guns, and 10 year olds to deal drugs…oh yeah Amerikka, we ARE progressing…lets be HAPPY ABOUT BRINGING CHILDREN INTO THIS HOLE OF POO.
GOD it’s time to start over.
Report Post »father of 2 from NJ
Posted on May 24, 2011 at 1:01amPeople without children are children themselves. I was a professional with a wife and responsibilities but I was not truly a man until my beautiful daughters arrived in the world. I wake everyday with a purpose and try not only to improve myself but my community for them. I know sadness and worry that one without children can never understand and while I may not be able to walk through this world in a haze with a dopey smile on my face because I am ignorantly happy I live with a joy and purpose that comes from my girls.
Report Post »TruthLover
Posted on May 24, 2011 at 1:13amBoy you have a point there with the selfish vs selfless thing there. Also having children helps you understand God better because you finally can correlate Biblical analogies to parenthood to your life.
I think being a parent can make you very happy – IF you do it YOUR way, and not try to do all the things everyone else does, follow the societal norms, listen to your inlaws’ opinions, etc etc. There are days when I may be depressed or wonder what my life would be like without them, but my kids give me purpose and fulfill me in a way nothing else could. My depression usually comes about when I worry about how our lifestyle is judged by others. We homeschool – we don’t do a ton of activities – we don’t have cable or watch regular tv. It works for us.
Report Post »Susan Harkins
Posted on May 24, 2011 at 9:49amMakes sense — no wonder I kicked them out of the nest!
:-)
Report Post »cassiebaby95
Posted on May 24, 2011 at 9:54am“what they fail to mention is that those adults with children are less selfish and more caring than those without, have meaning in their life, and care more about others than those without”
Wow, you really believe that? I was diagnosed with uterine cancer and had to have a full hysterectomy at a young age so I am unable to have children. Does that mean I have less meaning in my life and that I am selfish? I don’t think so. If anything, after battling cancer I feel as though I have more meaning in my life than before and live each day to the fullest.
Do you have kids? If so, I think you proven my point that having kids doesn’t necessarily make you more caring of others. If so, you wouldn’t have made such a careless statement!
Report Post »NES
Posted on May 24, 2011 at 10:20amMy youngest child was to be born the final year I was finishing up my Ph.D. at MIT, and I was really concerned about meeting the needs of my new child while having the time necessary to finish my academic work. By the end, having a newborn baby really helped me keep perspective and a sense of joy in my life every evening when I came home to help care for her and looked into her beautiful eyes. It was the thoughts of my children that helped motivate and push me in the final days of writing and defending my dissertation. My children are my most valued treasure and greatest source of happiness. That being said, raising children is far more time consuming than anything else I have experienced, but it’s more than worth it.
Report Post »Valerius Poplicola
Posted on May 25, 2011 at 12:04amI don’t have children, but I don’t think I am more selfish because of it.
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