4th Grader Pens Epic Letter to Local Meteorologist: ‘Unicorn Servants Will Feed You Doughnuts Off Their Horns’
- Posted on March 16, 2012 at 9:36am by
Billy Hallowell
- Print »
- Email »
Most children have the ability to exercise their imaginations to a more profound degree than their adult counterparts. Take, for instance, Flint, a fourth-grade student from Texas who was so impressed with a local weatherman who came to visit his school that he wrote an insanely-descriptive “thank you” letter. In it, he mentioned bacon, a tuxedo-wearing monkey, a cyborg unicorn and plenty more.
“You’re more awesome than a monkey wearing a tuxedo made out [of] bacon riding a cyborg unicorn,” the young boy wrote to KVUE’s Albert Ramon. “Some day when I become supreme ultra-Lord of the universe, I will not make you a slave, you will live in my 200 story castle where unicorn servants will feed you doughnuts off their horns.”
Pretty descriptive for a fourth-grader, no? Here’s a picture of the note:
See, Flint was apparently so captivated by Ramon and the lesson the Austin-based meteorologist gave at his school that he even drew pictures to accompany his note. Here’s an image of Ramon sitting on a throne and being offered doughnuts by — you guessed it — a unicorn:
On his Twitter account, Ramon confirmed that the letter is real and that it did, indeed, come from Flint. He was apparently so impressed with the accolades showed upon him, that the meteorologist posted the letter on his Facebook page. Now, it’s making its way around the blogosphere:
Considering the note‘s descriptive nature and Flint’s ability to exercise his imagination, the child could one day find himself with a career in creative writing.
(H/T: Huffington Post)
Popular Stories
Does Misstated Marathon Claim Prove Paul Ryan Is Dishonest? (POLL) 690 Comments
Paper Details Obama Admin’s Alleged Secret Note Sent to Iran: If Israel Attacks, We Won’t Get Involved 482 Comments
Obama: RNC Like Watching ‘Black-and-White TV’ Because Romney ‘Did Not Offer a Single New Idea’ 375 Comments
Roseanne Barr: Most Billionaires ‘Violent Pedophiles’ & ‘Heartless’ Cocaine Addicts 336 Comments
‘Made Up Religion’: TV Historian Enrages Muslims, Receives Threats After Producing UK Documentary Questioning Islam’s Beginnings 323 Comments
Faith
This Is the Creationists‘ Response to Scientist Bill Nye’s Viral Pro-Evolution Video Claiming They Harm Children 310 Comments- Pakistani Muslim Cleric Accused of Framing Disabled Christian Girl in Koran-Burning Case Read More
- ‘Made Up Religion’: TV Historian Enrages Muslims, Receives Threats After Producing UK Documentary Questioning Islam’s Beginnings 323 Comments
Meet the Controversial German Imam Accused of Brutally Beating His Wife & Pushing Sharia Law Read More
‘Self-Proclaimed Messiah’ & Unification Church Leader the Rev. Sun Myung Moon Has Died — Here’s His Life Story Read More
Business
President Obama Issues Major ‘Green Energy’ Executive Order 221 Comments- Germany’s Upcoming Court Ruling Will be Huge for the EU Read More
Ford Looks to Beat Toyota for Best-Selling Car in 2012 With This Model 148 Comments
Bernanke & QE3: Here’s What You Need to Know Read More- ‘Extortion’: Why Did the Labor Department ‘Drop the Hammer’ on Oregon Farmers? 302 Comments
Technology
- This Is the Creationists‘ Response to Scientist Bill Nye’s Viral Pro-Evolution Video Claiming They Harm Children 310 Comments
‘TaserDrone’: Hackers Weaponize Quadcopter With Actual ‘Shocking’ Technology Read More
Ever Heard of the Wild ‘Burning Man’ Festival in the Middle of the Nev. Desert? Here’s Your Primer Read More
Stanford Develops Technology ‘Better Than Steroids’ for Athlete Recovery Read More
Have You Pretended to Know What ‘the Cloud’ Is? You’re Not Alone Read More
Submitting your tip... please wait!
Comments (200)
Duckhead
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 10:38amThat is not written by a child.
Report Post »Stoic one
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 10:53amTo that I would say: Mozart is a fictional construct of history? Any and all gifted children are frauds prostituted by the parents?
Your disbelief without facts to back it up astounds me sir/madam.
Report Post »Itsjusttim
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 10:54amWell who was it written by then hmm?
Report Post »Alastair
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 11:06amWritten by a child who watches too much TV outside of his content range (lookin at you, Tosh.0)
Report Post »randy
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 11:13am@STOIC ONE
And your belief, without facts to back it up, astounds me sir/madam.
The day that kid takes out a clean pice of paper and writes something similar,
will be the day I believe it.
“We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid.”
Report Post »Onowicit
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 11:18amDo not underestimate the powers of our future ultra-lord. Dear Ultra-lord, I like chocolate with sprinkles.
Report Post »Stoic one
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 11:22amRandy,
Report Post »So the above article is complete fiction?
IF that’s the case then what are we doing here? OH I know “the thirteenth floor”.
colt6920
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 11:23amIm sure it was written by Obama as part of some socialist pacification ploy….you can’t leave that man alone for even a second. Geez people get a sense of humor..I have a nephew that age and that is the EXACT thing he would make up.
Report Post »The Gooch
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 11:27amThis is 100% Greg Gutfekd (The Five, Red Eye). Yeah, it’s funny… and stolen material. But Gutfeld is a good guy and will probably be flattered by this little nimrod’s homage.
Report Post »How the hell could anyone who watches either of those shows not see Gutfeld’s fingerprints all over this? The unicorn reference is a dead give away.
dragon1969
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 11:31amIts not that creative people…. It came from Planet Sheen on Nickelodeon.. spinoff of Jimmy Neutron ….dont you people watch stupid cartoons anymore.
Report Post »The Gooch
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 11:31amThis kid is ripping off a Greg Gutfeld rant. The unicorn reference is a dead give away. Gutfeld’s diatribes are insane… and funny as hell. I cannot be the only Gutfeld fan on this forum.
Report Post »alishamommyof5
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 11:48amAnyone who thinks a kid didn’t write this, must have children with no imaginations. Or, no children at all.
Report Post »randy
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 11:52amLike I said, I don’t believe anything coming out of Austin.
Report Post »In this day and age of doing anything to get your 15 minutes of fame,
I would not rule out the teacher looking over the kids shoulder helping him with this.
Like I said. Prove it by having him write another one in a room alone oh stoic one.
isur5ed
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 11:59amThe thought of a doughnut on a unicorn horn is not monopolized by Greg Gutfekd, silly. Hasn’t it ever crossed your mind. Sounds like a perfectly childlike pretend. My 4th grader is equally as off the wall and eccentric in his stories. This story is not a fraud, just and invitation to enjoy the genius of childhood. Perhaps Gutfekd’s success come from never growing up.
Report Post »Trebuchet
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 12:09pmsounds like another Philp K. Dick in the making.
Report Post »Cemetery
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 12:15pmHold the damn phone, did someone just compare this **** to Mozart? Actually, this kid’s writing is sadly better than what most full grown adults come up with.
Report Post »TheSoundOf Truth
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 12:51pmIt was actually written by Barney Frank
Report Post »SerikFox
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 1:37pmAll people have natural talents for some things, and others for another thing. Kids are no different.
Report Post »CyberJocky
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 1:47pmI think you’re right, it was obviously written by Grege Gutfeld. Man that guy gets around!
Report Post »red1
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 1:54pmGutfeld could easily pass for a fourth-grader. I think he is this kid.
Report Post »ChiefGeorge
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 2:02pmSounds like we’ve found our young anti-christ in waiting…very charismatic indeed. Just kidding! If he wrote it, its very amusing!
Report Post »TomFerrari
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 2:07pmHe had me at “BACON!” !!
Report Post »Master_and_Commander
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 2:16pmoh good lord, you people are already going down the path of conspiracy theories…
Report Post »WeekendAtBernankes
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 2:25pmCould’ve easily been written by a child who reads a lot of books above his age level, plays video/computer games, has parents that encourage and challenge him to learn, etc. You’d be amazed at the learning ability of 10 year-olds, given the proper environment and a little bit of born talent.
Report Post »Aidan MacAnBhaird
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 2:36pm@Duckhead: You apparently have never worked with children for any length of time. This young man sounds eerily similar to the same age-group of boys. . . way up here in OhioLand! Children and sponges have a lot in common; they mutually have an incredibly porous nature to both simultaneously suck up that in their surroundings and to seep out such nonsense as, “please clean your room,“ or ”your only chore today is to take out the garbage.”
The show to which this young lad refers takes imagination to glorious heights. He has absorbed his surroundings and utilized them brilliantly! That you would think this is an impossible feet for an average 4th grader is sad, indeed. Go volunteer at the church sunday school, a Scout Troop, or the school’s reading mentor program. They will teach you a thing or two about the joys of life. Give it a try, I dare you. Prove yourself wrong and have a blast in the process!
Report Post »The-Monk
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 2:45pmMe thinks he reads/watches too much Harry Potter.
Report Post »AffirmationChick
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 3:28pmAt the very least, he had a lot of help from Mom or Dad. My doubt mostly comes from his perfect uses of “you’re“ and ”their.”
Report Post »Guttersmack
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 3:40pmI’m with you Gooch. (nice handle, btw)
Report Post »I enjoy The Five b/c I can listen to Gutfield, and watch Guilfoyle….. (most of the time)
Jaycen
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 4:49pmI read Animal Farm and 1984 in 4th grade. Some children at that age are certainly capable of writing at that level.
Report Post »freethinking
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 5:29pmAssuming the hate and vitriole that sometimes appears on places like here comes from “adults” , I’m not so sure. Kids are ‘tape recorders’, what goes in get played back. Sounds like cool parents.
Report Post »Zer0
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 5:54pmObama’s manifesto.
Report Post »Look4DBigPicture
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 7:07pmI used to be a cub scout leader and some of the boys in my den were that creative – especially if they read Harry Potter books or played a lot of video games.
Report Post »spamwitch
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 7:32pmI believe it fits the handwriting and style of a child his age, and I also believe I would have been as impressed as to post it on my FB as well. The hatred is out of control, take the blue pill next time.
Report Post »silentwatcher
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 10:51pmthe kid spells better than half the adults….too well?
Report Post »mauijonny
Posted on March 17, 2012 at 2:59amThat was too cute! This kid’s a future Greg Gutfeld.
Report Post »Pacman116
Posted on March 17, 2012 at 4:43amDear Ultra-lord, I like chocolate covered doughnuts please.
Report Post »ChevalierdeJohnstone
Posted on March 17, 2012 at 6:53amIn fourth grade I wrote a book.
Report Post »Didn’t publish it though – the publishing industry had a surplus of magic unicorns at the time.
Still, those of you who think that letter couldn’t have been written by a fourth-grader have some pretty dumb children.
That’s about a 2nd-grade writing level where I come from. Flint’s teachers need to stop bringing the weatherman to school and teach him how to spell.
Clare Clare
Posted on March 17, 2012 at 8:18amAs a former teacher, I can assure you that it is entirely possible that it was!
Report Post »AllAmericanGirl22
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 10:38amSo adorable!! Kids are so funny :D lol
Report Post »Itsjusttim
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 10:56amOh yeah, they are just funny and cute, but nothing to learn from them huh? Like the Good Book says: people will plant vineyards and not drink the wine thereof.
Report Post »MoreCowbell
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 1:15pm@ITSJUSTTIM geez, man, chill out! @allamericangirll22 was just commenting on how funny a kid was. Don’t get all fire and brimstone up in here.
Report Post »AllAmericanGirl22
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 4:51pm@ITSJUSTTIM Okay..I didn’t say there was nothing to learn from them. I was just saying its cute. chill out.
Report Post »@MORECOWBELL thank you.
HUGGINGMYBABIES
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 10:30amAll I can say is WOW 4th grade and he spells like that?!?!? Clearly they should be spending more time on punctuation, grammar and spelling and not on the weather. With that said, I see a bright future in Hollywood for this little goober!
Report Post »tricia
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 10:28amExaggerated grandeur for himself and those he admire. Very strange for a 9 or 10 year old I think.
Report Post »MF3500
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 10:26amSounds like the meteorologist has done a great job in his presentation…to excite kids these days to this point takes a special person. Maybe HE needs to become a teacher.
Report Post »randy
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 10:26amI don’t believe it was a 4th grader writing this……
Report Post »I believe it was one of his looney parents.
Come on people, the kid is from Austin, TX
where their motto is “Keep it Weird in Austin”
Spelling, grammar and punctuation is just too correct for a 4th grader.
Even the drawing of the unicorn looks like an adult trying to pass as a child.
Bottom line, I’m not buying this.
piper60
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 10:28amWhy could it not be from a child? Are all children bereft of their imaginations?
Report Post »MoreCowbell
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 10:35amThis looks like something my 5th grader would write. I definitely believe it was from a 4th grader. Some of you people just don’t give kids the credit they deserve. Rock on, Flint.
Report Post »randy
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 10:39amDid I say anything about “imagination”
Report Post »“Believe none of what you hear and half of what you see.”
SovereignSoul
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 12:00pmSpelling and grammar are too good? Read it again. There are at least a dozen errors that should be corrected by anyone with an average fourth grade writing ability.
Report Post »jbcTX
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 12:21pmThe correct motto is “Keep Austin Weird”
Report Post »NOITUloveR
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 12:28pmSorry, but my 2nd grader writes as well as this and has the imagination to go with it. Fess up and confirm you have not had any young children this century.
Report Post »Master_and_Commander
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 2:23pmall you conspiracy theorist nut jobs are just complete morons. You can’t even believe a story like this without dissecting it and questioning the truth of the story… fyi, I remember back many many years ago when my younger brother was in 1st grade, and he wrote something very similar to this (although there were more spelling mistakes of course). So what is so hard about believing that a 4th grader can do this?
Report Post »Nathen
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 3:46pmWOW! Where did you go to school???? You think this was good grammar???? It is HORRIBLE! When I was a 4th grader I wrote WAY better than this and I was just in a small town school. This is something I could have easily written in second or third grade. It is kinda funny but isn’t that great. Nothing about this shows it’s from an adult though. But you probably think the earth is flat, we never landed on the moon, and you were abducted and anal-probed as a child. Crazies like you aren’t worth contributing to conversations like this one.
Have a good day :)
Report Post »1moreOutnumbered
Posted on March 17, 2012 at 5:05am@Randy You’re a jacka$$. I live just outside of Austin and my 4th grader writes stuff like this all the time. Just a few months ago he showed me a story he wrote about a ninja that rescues a princess from a castle. Any kid that age with an active imagination that reads at or above their level could have written that. Some people need to chill out and just enjoy children being children.
Report Post »Also, the correct motto is “Keep Austin Weird.” Before you jump on that train as well, no I’m not a fan of living in the most liberal city in the state, it just happens to be where a lot of the hi-tech jobs are at.
hauschild
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 10:26am“Marvelis”
:)
Report Post »Mapache
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 10:25amThat does not look like the meanderings of a fourth grader…..it would seem to me to out of the warped and twisted mind of Gregg Guttfield….nobody loves Unicorns more the Gregg and he COULD tell you how many donuts fit on a unicorns horn.
Report Post »ph2691
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 11:18amLOL,,,funny I thought the same thing.. and he would know how many donuts would fit on a unicorn’s horn… weird…lol
Report Post »alina.bolero
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 10:25amEpic-ness has become such a tired and exaggerated claim. But … yes … this is EPIC!
Report Post »barncats
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 10:24amI am surprised the school did not do some co-parenting and call DSS on the parents… this kid is obviously troubled (insert sarcasm here).
“You are more awesome then a monkey wearing a tuxedo of bacon” That has to be the greatest line ever written!
Report Post »NeoFan
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 10:22amThats the kids response to being taught about Global Warming.
Report Post »Marine25
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 11:39amor Christianity perhaps?
Report Post »HuskerDave
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 10:21amThis kid correctly identified that any meteorologist who believes in man-made ‘climate change’ will also likely believe in the existence of unicorns… ;)
Honestly though, pretty great imagination on this kid!
Report Post »SpankDaMonkey
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 10:18am.
Report Post »I bet his Grandma’s name is Moonbean, or something kinda 60′s…….
Drum Man
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 10:15amLOL! Too funny. Nice job kid!
Report Post »Warphead
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 10:04amIt could be that the kid is even smarter than we think. This could very well be sarcasm. The kid could be comparing a wild fairyland with unicorns with that of the average meteoroligists ability to actually predict the weather.
Report Post »Rick494
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 10:02amI look forward to reading the books this kid writes in the future.
Report Post »smithclar3nc3
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 10:07amI actual thought the kid was being sarcastic using mythical beast and fantasy idea to make fun of a profession that can‘t predict tuesday much less tuesday’s weather.
Report Post »SistaTriscuit
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 10:01amHaha! Flint is TOTALLY channeling Napoleon Dynamite. ;-)
Report Post »biohazard23
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 10:14amVote for Pedro!
Report Post »SistaTriscuit
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 11:24amMake all your wildest dreams come true!
Report Post »biohazard23
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 12:06pmGosh!
Report Post »littlefish
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 10:01amThis will probably show up in one of Husseins upcoming speeches as expert testimony for
Report Post »Global Warming
hi
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 9:58amThe teachers will put him on ADD meds and it will destroy all of his creativeness. (by telling parents he needs it) He is probably a day-dreamer, which they hate, or very active and cannot sit still, which they hate.
Report Post »littlefish
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 10:02amHe should be called to testify to congress . . . .his world view isn‘t any more imaginary than Hussein’s
Report Post »Grasshopper42
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 9:55amI wouldn‘t be surprised if the youngster doesn’t get suspended for making racist remarks.
Report Post »Itsjusttim
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 9:49amHaha. This child has a better grip on reality than most adults. I suppose that’s why children belong to the Lord, because they haven’t been polluted yet.
Report Post »RonmeyPaulBotsrOdd
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 9:56amReally? You think he has not been polluted…referring to himself as “supreme ultra-lord of the universe” aka GOD. Enslavement fantasies? It may seem cute to you, but I have to wonder if the kid worships video games or understands there is God. Whatever – seems pretty strange within many tangents.
Report Post »MidWestMom
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 10:06amThat “ultra-lord“ and ”enslavement” stuff was kinda creepy.
Report Post »SistaTriscuit
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 10:08amSeriously, Ronmeyspaulbotsrodd? He is a 4th grader with an active imagination – I’d predict that this child also happens to be the class clown & is very outgoing. I went to school with a young man that, from Flint’s letter, was very much like Flint is… from 3rd grade all the way through high school. He got his degree from MIT & is a very successful entrepreneur today…. and no, no “God complexes”. Sheesh. He is in 4th grade – let him have a childhood devoid of being creatively squelched without making assumptions that he somehow has something “wrong” with him. What’s “wrong” with most kids today is that they are being assimilated into the fold all-too easily. I‘d suspect that Flint will be a young man who doesn’t assimilate so easily.
Report Post »Itsjusttim
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 10:38amRonmeyPaulBotsrOdd,
Report Post »KJ, John 1:1 [ In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.]
Moreover, in the beginning the Lord believed in and had a Lord.
Itsjusttim
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 10:47amThat’s why I keep telling people in the Kingdom of Heaven it is a Representative Republic.
Report Post »GotLead
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 12:44pm@itsjusttim The Word is Jesus Christ. Read your bible a little bit better.
Report Post »Tucci78
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 2:57pmThe “supreme ultralord” stuff is a trope from the TV cartoon show Planet Sheen, a spin-off from the earlier Nickelodeon program Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius.
Haven‘t any of you religious wastoids got any experience with the average American kid’s favorite cable television programs?
Report Post »Jenny Lind
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 9:48amThere is a kid with a future- he can imagine and dream. Pray the school system doesn’t destroy it. I would love to have a conversation with Flint-kudos to his parents.
Report Post »Itsjusttim
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 10:00amHaving children is the easy part, but not wrecking them through lifting the tools of men to them is the hard part.
Report Post »RJJinGadsden
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 9:47amThat wasn’t a 4th grader, it was Gregg Gutfeld!
Report Post »cemerius
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 9:49amha ha ha ha……yeah I can only imagine that!!
Report Post »biohazard23
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 10:27amHe wrote it with the help of the ferret, Captain Sprinkles. :)
Report Post »cemerius
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 9:45amWow! The “meteoroligist” must be a climate change believer? Neat story by this kid and their imagination will soon be crushed by the Teacher’s Union thugs…..imagination promotes free thought and we can’t have that! A school child should sit, shut up and enjoy their “pink slime”!!!
Report Post »TurboCat
Posted on March 17, 2012 at 4:15amExactly right. Can’ have a little individual running around starting up trouble!
Report Post »SpeckledPup
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 9:39amLOVED it. and he will not make the meteorologist a slave!
Report Post »Jackoniell123
Posted on March 16, 2012 at 7:56pmNow the kids considered racist…
Report Post »