God to Release Memoir in 2011
- Posted on December 1, 2010 at 10:23am by
Jonathon M. Seidl
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God is preparing to speak to you in another, hopefully, best-seller. According to publisher Simon and Schuester, the Almighty is looking to follow up his all-time number one book The Bible with a memoir.
But you‘ll never guess who will be God’s (Holy) ghost writer. According to Entertainment Weekly, Jon Stewart’s former* “The Daily Show” head writer and executive producer David Javerbaum will be serving in that capacity.
“God is represented by a burning bush, the Greek letters a and ‡, and, in this case, the Levine Greenberg Literary Agency, the same agency that represents David Javerbaum,” the publisher said in a meant-to-be funny press release.
“We feel like we are the Chosen Publisher,” Simon & Schuster’s Executive Vice President and Publisher Jonathan Karp told Entertainment Weekly. “A lot of writers are creative, but this writer is really creative. And we think He can produce the manuscript quickly: More than seven days, but less than a year.”
The yet-to-be-titled tell-all memoir is due out in 2011.
*“Former” was added post publication.
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Comments (108)
Star Spangled
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 11:48amGod’s gonna get ya for that !
Report Post »Tinylittletealeaf
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 11:40amThe patience of the Lord blows my mind!
Report Post »ChiefGeorge
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 6:14pmYes indeed!!
I believe God is pouring out his grace in extra measure. Jesus asked his father to forgive us for we knew not what we were doing. Same applies here. God does not want any to perish apart from him and has given us 6 thousand years of man implemented rule so at the end of the age we could see the failure and folly because we will have had the full historical record of mans epic failures. All we have to do his try what he has offered and it is free but we mock instead who he is and what he has offered. But we will not so therefore our fate is in our hands. In his time God will usher in his rule over this world. I can’t wait!!!
Report Post »dirtypolitics
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 11:34amYeah, Stewart, easy for you to make fun of the Christian religion. How about other religions…I dare you try.
Report Post »krugwaffle
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 11:33amA quick note to all the nihilistic new-age nazi know-it-alls out there of Javerbaum’s ilk and beyond:
Mocking God is ALWAYS a GOOD thing to do. It gives you instant political power points with all your friends and shows the world how much better you are than stupid Christians. Since He doesn’t really exist, who’s going to stop you?
Signed~
Your Master “Big Mammon”
P.S.> I’ll be p r e y i n g for you.
Report Post »ChiefGeorge
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 11:31amFor those who do not believe in God at all they sure spend a lot of time trying to disprove his existence. One of the greatest sins I believe is when others attempt to stumble the innocent. God is watching to be sure. “Do not take the name of the Lord in vain”. Book Fail!
Report Post »SlimnRanger
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 11:30amThe end is near
Report Post »JN
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 11:21amGod is that which none greater can conceive. For someone to have the audacity to think they can even comprehend a percent of what God truly is shows how absolutely arrogant and prideful people in this country are.
Report Post »Disabledvet
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 11:08amRemember Noahs Ark and the flood, make him mad and see what happens next. On with God is a Majority and I say the majority should not buy this book and let it fail.
Report Post »sedigive
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 11:06amIf Javerbaum had any balls he’d do an update on the Koran with humorous excahanges between Mohammed and Allah. Think that will happen? Nah.
Atheist leftists are nuttin if not cowards.
Report Post »Bluestraveler
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 11:46am“Humorous” as in… hey, how many little girls did you rape today? Or which females are we gonna stone today?
Report Post »Max jones
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 11:03amIt comes down to this, huh? Father, forgive them for they know not what they do….or do they?
Report Post »Reality will NOT be nice for these people when their eyes are opened. They should all move to colorado where there are many mountains to hide under.
raisin4kids
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 11:01amthis is a prime example of why we are so morally bankrupt. God will soon cast his judgement upon this nation and there will be no one to blame but ourselves. Let’s hope he has mercy on those who call upon his name. God help us!
Report Post »2gether
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 10:54amI guess this goes hand in hand with the ant covered Crucifix insinuating that Chritianity is dead and there is no place in our lives for Christ or God….I am glad that there are still believers…me being one of them. I will do my best to keep the Creator in the center of everything. I don’t need a government to turn to, I need my Creator.
Report Post »cece959
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 12:22pmMe too.
Report Post »chickenlittle
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 10:52amDoes anybody else that posts here feel that the moderator of this site should ask his boss for a bunch of faster servers and more bandwidth and change the format so that the most recent posts come out first in the list? The time lag and navigation problems with this forum are very much a turnoff when keeping up with the posts and comments.
Report Post »Flagwaver
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 10:50amCan you say blasphemy? I knew you could.
Report Post »chickenlittle
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 10:44amI believe they call it blasphemy. I’m waiting for this same smartmouth to dare release a supposed memoir from Muhammed… Would Simon and Schuster be so willing to promote that? Anything to make money and pander to the Anti-Christians. I don’t care how funny they think this thing is going to be… you can bet it’s not going to be in vein of the “God” movies with Jim Carey. Doesn’t bother me either way, really… it’s supposed to be a free country (for a while anyway).
Report Post »chickenlittle
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 10:58amCome to think of it… I doubt a similar book on Islam would ever make it past the “promotional” stage before Simon and Schuster was bombed and the spokesperson and author was killed.
Report Post »moriarty70
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 11:38amFor a site full of readers who keep saying that the States is a “Christian Nation” it should be self evident why books and other works like this focus on the Christan God.
The funny in comedy relies on a base knowledge, something that the teller and listener both know. Since in North America people are raised with exposure to Christianity, both overtly and subtly that becomes the religious base that people understand.
Basically, Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, etc have too small an install base to be funny for a mass market.
Report Post »chickenlittle
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 12:01pm@Moriarty… Sorry, but if that were true, they would have “funny” movies and books about Islam in many places around the world… they don’t, and not because of any “install base” (whatever that is). The fact is writers and movie makers are terrorized into avoiding the subject. If we were still the land of the free and home of the brave they would have funny parodies in this country of many more such subjects. They would have plenty of profit making from a multitude of viewers/readers… no matter their faith. There is a difference between funny and mocking.
Report Post »moriarty70
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 12:18pmIt is beginning to happen with movies like Four Lions and shows like South Park. The only problem is South Park’s distrubutor caved to threats and as a result they ruined a great episoide and the writters phoned in the last half of the season.
And there are in fact Muslim comedians who do shows in the Middle East and aren’t killed for it, and have followings over there. We don‘t hear about it too often because it doesn’t make exciting news stories.
The trick most people use is that they don’t focus on the idols of the belief they joke about, but the practices and dogma of it. And I suspect, having read some similarly done books before, that’s what this book will do. Personally I hope it will be on par with “Mr. Deity” a smart look at some of the more bizare concepts.
My main point was that since Christianity reigns supreme in the States that’s why it becomes the goto target for religious humour.
As an aside, using the term install base was me falling back on my technical background. It’s a term for someone who already has a piece of technology (iPod, computer, cell phone) of a particular brand.
Report Post »chickenlittle
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 1:01pmI get what you’re saying… but the “trick,” as you refer to it, of not referring to an idol of a particular religion, but rather to the practices and dogma (read stereotypes), does not cut it either. You seem to have much more knowledge than I of foreign comedians and movies… that I will grant you… but really, where in the supposed free world can an “infidel” even joke about those practices of Islam? If Jim Carey had been portraying Mohamed he would be in hiding or dead by now… and I thought that movie was funny. Ask Salman Rushdie exactly how he denigrated Islam… I don’t think that was his intent, but then, I never was interested in reading the novel anyway. My only point is that aside from the obvious rule of never publishing even a picture of the Prophet, one never even risks too much into such comedy for fear of offending. Jewish and Christian jokes have long been a mainstay without fear of retribution… can’t recall the Pope issuing worldwide death sentences or Mossad going after Jack Benny. I don’t think most people took them as insults, and can’t think of any that resulted in death threats.
As far as South Park… I personally think the show is overall trash, but my only objection to it is that there are too many kids watching it in “family time” that are too immature to appreciate satire. I also don’t think it is anywhere close to being LOL funny… but then again, that’s just me, and I can change the channel any time I want. Most comedy I see now on any channel is a bunch of sophomoric cheap shots and bathroom jokes presented as a script.
I appreciate the clarification of what I think you meant to be “market” base.
Report Post »fancydancy
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 10:40amOur Savior died for our sins and the church and Pharisees keep telling us we have to do more. He said before dying on the cross for us, “It is finished” and sat down. No wonder so many people are turned off…we are only getting part of the message. None of us can keep the law. If so, Jesus wouldn’t have had to come and die in our place.
“Destined to Reign” by Joseph Prince reveals truth in a way I had never heard before in all my fundamental upbringing. It will set you free from all the rules, etc. (Check out the summaries on Amazon.com) Unfortunately, many think if they teach forgiveness, it will be license to sin. Well, it seems no one needs a license to DO that anyway.
Report Post »Country
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 10:37amWhy are people wanting to use the burning bush? Glenn uses it in his logo of the Blaze after mentioning Mosses and the burning bush several times on his show and now these folks are using it to sell books. God is a Consuming Fire, not a burning bush. The Chosen Publisher, how silly.
Report Post »Surveillance squirrel
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 1:34pmthey just like it becouse they can urinate on a buning bush and extiguish it, only a moron would attenpt to urinate on an all-consuming fire. lol.
Report Post »Country
Posted on December 6, 2010 at 10:31pmSo it seems I was right about Glenn naming this site after the burning bush. I just heard him say so. I would respect Glenn on a biblical view if his did not follow Joseph Smith.
Report Post »CommonSense101
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 10:37amPretty Ironic… the church service this weekend was on recognizing that God was the ultimate creator- and the only one who was completely creative, and the importance of recognizing that… I guess the other side of the spectrum of this thought is David Javerbaum? Lets here it for a moral code and respect for others beliefs. I’m sure if it was someone writing the follow up to the Koran (etc), it’d be hate speech.
Report Post »the Life Of Reilly
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 10:34amWhom does God point at for finishing the book? Will he/she get a fifteen yard penalty for pointing at himself?
Report Post »casseopea42
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 10:33amSigh, really? There are so many things to write about, and if you are so creative then can’t you pick another subject? God’s judgement on this country is well deserved.
Report Post »Max jones
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 10:52amAmen
Report Post »cece959
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 12:19pmThat goes double for me… Amen.
Report Post »Gonzo
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 10:31amHow about an Allah memoir Stewart? Coward.
Report Post »Josh
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 11:48amI agree with you. Why does David Javerbaum not write a memor on Allah??
David Javerbaum Its true you are a coward. I feel for those that mock God thinking that nothing will happen to them. Everyone finds out sooner or later.
Report Post »BocaBaby
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 12:19pmexactly, they are HUGE cowards……..interesting though, the bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbig giveaway, is what DUSTYLUV said above……they give themselves away, because they have no fear of the one and only, true and living GOD.
They obviously never read the Bible, where it states that anyone who adds to it will be cursed. ONLY A FOOL WOULD MOCK GOD……..but we already knew they were fools……..would HATE to be in their shoes………for they will pay a price……and the ending we will all get to see.
Also interesting, the time we live in…..people are mocking God left and right, only to elevate the question, that we will all get to answer….”.Choose you this day who you will serve”…..The battle lines are being drawn, and the false gods are trying to take center stage……example allah, etc etc..pretty soon we will be honored to see our God elevated and His presence will bring both blessing and judgment…..like I said, would HATE to be in their shoes….what arrogency……just like obummer.
Report Post »@leftfighter
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 10:31amI though God already released one, called the Bible…
Huh.
Report Post »NeoFan
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 12:19pmThey are not happy with the original because it does not endorse their behavior. So they are claiming to speak for God and make up their own rules.
Report Post »pamela kay
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 2:17pmAmen. When their day of reckoning comes they might change their attitudes. BURN BABY BURN!
Report Post »Bob Dole
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 3:00pmI really liked God’s last book. I really hope this one has more violence, incest, plagues, homosexuality, and slavery in it than the last one.
mrlogan3
Posted on December 2, 2010 at 1:49pmActually, most of the Bible isn‘t really God’s book. It’s an accepted fact among Christians that it is not directly from God and that certain books have been omitted.
Report Post »mrlogan3
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 10:30amThis is really stupid. That’s coming from a guy who wants a comedic movie to be made that explains the whole Bible.
Report Post »KenInIL
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 1:01pmHe ought to be writing Mohamed next book! It would make him a ghost writer for sure!!
Report Post »TrueGrit
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 1:28pmKENINIL…
Funny. Made me chuckle.
Thanks.
Wolverine
Report Post »sissykatz
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 1:47pm@keninil That is so funny, I just laughed out loud, ha;ha;ha
Report Post »KingArthurUp
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 10:30amderrrrr… now we are going to see 10 books released next year by God….
they let the cat out of the bag
Report Post »Konservative PUNK
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 10:37amWill Wikileaks release it first?
Report Post »Konservative PUNK
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 10:38amWikileaks got a source in heaven?
Report Post »john seven eighteen
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 10:40amThat’s exactly what I thought. After seeing the ants crawling on Jesus and all the other vile garbage we’ve seen lately I can only imagine what kind of book we might see.
Report Post »untameable-kate
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 11:35amGod forbid.
Report Post »->Click For Brain Enema<-
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 10:28amWhat they couldn’t Bill Maher
Report Post »El Paco
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 10:31am(couldn’t type… El Paco’s laughing too hard)
Report Post »@leftfighter
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 10:37amCareful, Mr. Javerbaum.
I assume you know that Jews and Christians share the same base beliefs because we’re from the same root religion. Yours.
That said, I assume you should also know what I learned from reading the Old Testament, what happens to the mocking tongue. May I suggest you don’t mock the Almighty?
Report Post »Dustyluv
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 11:16amGo ahead and release it. Unless you are one of God’s Prohets, I wouldn’t want to be YOU…
Report Post »snowleopard3200 {mix art}
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 2:14pmJauverbaum meets George Bush at the pearly gates:
“Mr. Jauverbaum, God is wanting to talk about the book you wrote – and just so you know, he already had an unabridged copy ready several millenia ago to compare notes with.”
Report Post »P C BE DAMNED
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 4:03pmNotice how Satan protects his books like the Koran with violence here and now and our God gives each one of His creation freedom of choice and faith wheather they will or will not serve Him. The faith part also comes in when we believe he also deals with sin eventually. Islam, your God is not only a coward but is dead. We christians will win and we have already won. And I appologize as I am not as good as most Christians. God I love America and where we are going!
Bearfoot
Posted on December 1, 2010 at 5:24pmDon’t worry folks, Nobody is going to take the book as actually coming from God. We all know what fiction is, and that is where you will find it, it the fiction section of the book store.
Uhhh, I hope everyone is aware of its real author, a stupid man named David Javerbaum.
Report Post »SemperCivis4Ever
Posted on December 2, 2010 at 12:11pmActually, Noah has been found. Read “Finding Noah” at http://www.marcrubin.com/noah-index.ivnu where artist Marc Rubin lays out the archeology/art history/bible research he did for a painting exhibition he created for Holocaust survivors at their request.. Marc found history has been revised and rewritten since 3000 BCE. Radio Interview: http://www.marcrubin.com/judean-eve.ivnu
Marc had to answer questions like “what did Abraham and Noah’s clothing look like” in order to paint them. Online exhibition: http://www.marcrubin.com/or.ivnu
Report Post »S G Applebee
Posted on December 2, 2010 at 7:58pmOf course this guy isn’t speaking for God, but neither is anyone else. At least we know this guy is simply attempting to be humorous, whereas the MEN who wrote the Bible, Quran, Bhagavad-Gita…etc, were EGOMANIACS wanting us to believe what came out of THEIR OWN MINDS actually came from God. Grow up people and THINK for yourself. Start with this short video and begin to learn the truth:
Report Post »http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5IyCPEBN79M