Faith

‘Good Dads Are Made, Not Born’: Author Challenges Fathers With Powerful & Convicting Message

Gregory M. Slayton Pens Book About Being a Better FatherFor years, Gregory M. Slayton, a former ambassador to Bermuda under President George W. Bush, has had a fascination with fatherhood — one that has led him across to globe to intensely study the ways in which fathers from different cultures interact with their children and families.

In his new book, “Be a Better Dad Today,” Slayton provides tools, tips and plenty more — all gathered from the author’s exploration of fatherhood on five continents over a span of 25 years.

Slayton’s reasons for focusing on the subject are best described through an official summary of the book, which reads, in part:

[The author] grew up in a difficult family environment even before his father abandoned his family. The last time he spoke with his father, Gregory was in the hospital and close to death. His dad cut short the conversation, promising to call back shortly. For 25 years, he never did. His father died in 2007, alone and in great pain. As Professor Slayton writes “he was the saddest man I have ever known.” This book seeks to help each of its readers to be the best Fathers they can be…and overcome whatever issues they may have inherited or grown up with.

He expounded upon his motivation for writing the book in an exclusive interview with The Blaze. His father, as stated, inadvertently fueled his passion for the subject. In addition to his dad’s role, he also mentioned his faith as a guiding factor. After becoming a Christian in college, Slayton realized that he wanted to build a family, but that his past examples didn’t offer him a viable blueprint to follow.

“I realized I wanted to try and have a family myself. I knew little about being a good dad,” Slayton said, going on to explain his foray into the academic examination of fatherhood. “I [then] studied fatherhood around the world on five continents.”

Years later, Slayton, with four kids of his own, has answered many of the questions he once had through “Be a Better Dad Today.” The book offers up lessons that anyone — a father to be or a parent with adult children — can use to better fulfill his role. With the current state of affairs concerning fatherhood in America, the book couldn’t come at a more perfect time.

“American Fathers the best and the worst in the world. There is a higher percentage of U.S. fathers who are more uninvolved with children than ever  before,” Stayton contends.

While he explained that about a quarter of American dads are either absent or ineffective in their children’s lives, the majority of fathers are actively involved with their children. Either way, Slayton believes that everyone can benefit from reading the book.

“Good dads are made, not born,” he told The Blaze, as he encouraged each and every father to examine their placement, leadership and effectiveness in their family structures.

One of the most fascinating elements of Slayton’s research is the continuity that exists among dads, regardless of culture and geographic location. It was on his international exploration that the author first starting thinking about 10 universal tools (called the “Ten Basic Fatherhood Tools” in his book) that can be used to help fathers improve.

“Everything wasn’t the same in every culture, but there were similarities between effective dads and ineffective dads,” he explained. “Similarities of ineffective dads were they were disconnected from their families either physically or emotionally or both…They weren’t close to them in any spiritual or emotional sense.”

Watch Slayton discuss the “tools of fatherhood”:

Slayton, a Christian, believes that faith is an important element in fatherhood — one that helps to sustain and guide men in the role. Since fatherhood is “the most important thing” one will ever do, the author says it is paramount men take the time to understand the role.

“Fatherhood is the only job that you have for your whole life — the only job that will impact people in the second and third generations,” Slayton said.

Slayton must be onto something, because he has captured some pretty impressive endorsements for the book. Here are just two of the many:

“Be a Better Dad Today is perhaps the most practical and down-to-earth manual you will find on how to be an effective father. No one will be able to read it without being both spiritually convicted and personally equipped.“ - Tim Keller, Redeemer Presbyterian Church, New York City

“Having been raised by a man that exemplified what it means to be a great father, I am blessed to have learned from one of the greatest. In ‘Be A Better Dad Today’, Gregory explains how to navigate the most important job in the world. This book is a great resource for today’s dads or those who plan to be a dad in the future.” - Jeb Bush, Governor of Florida from 1999-2007

Read more about Slayton’s book, “Be a Better Dad Today,” here.

Comments (35)

  • DannyM
    Posted on July 9, 2012 at 8:11pm

    How come you guys don’t print a story about “A Father’s Guide To Raising Conservative Gentlemen (And Saving America At The Same Time)? I have it, and if you want a book that tells you the real story about how to be a good father, you’ll get it too. The author, Peter Fusco pulls no punches. He says a lot of fathers today think that because of their own history they’re being hypocrites if they teach their sons to be gentlemen. He says they should try to become better men, but in the meantime teach their sons to be gentlemen by using the “Do as I say, not as I did” method. His book makes sense in the real world. He says it’s all about “respect, responsibility, righteousness and resolve.” I think it’s like $13 dollars or something on Amazon. It’s a small book, but I’ll bet it stacks up against all those namby-pamby new-wave, feel good books that tell you how to teach a good kid how to be better, but what about the other kids? That’s why I read it and put the four principles into action with my sons.

    Report Post » DannyM  
  • drusher
    Posted on June 18, 2012 at 8:03pm

    The author‘s claim of paternal abandonment after his father’s “difficult” marriage is questionable. Nine in ten divorces result in father-absence, even when men fight for their children and do everything possible to save their marriages. For too many fathers, the process is so painful, frightfully expensive, and legally dangerous that they walk away forever. Slayton would do far more good working for reform of no-fault divorce and feminist domestic violence laws that leave so many children fatherless.

    The Blaze should not tout authors practicing feminist beliefs about father-absence. It is one of the many consequences of marriage-absence, which is driven by anti-family federal and state laws.

    My cohort Stephen Baskerville has an excellent article proving that Slayton’s position is a grossly inaccurate representation of the general community sample. See: “The Failure of Fatherhood Policy” lewrockwell.com/orig2/baskerville5.html .

    If fatherhood is made, the Blaze should promote authors working to reform the laws destroying marriage and fatherhood, not those espousing feminist falsehoods about men and marriage.

    David R. Usher, President
    Center for Marriage Policy
    St. Louis 314 991-1959

    Report Post » drusher  
  • drusher
    Posted on June 18, 2012 at 9:47am

    David Blankenhorn’s 1995 book “Fatherless America” established a false and uncited belief that “paternal abandonment” is the primary driver of divorce, illegitimacy, and fatherlessness. Pat Fagan and Heritage played a major role in this totally false and unscientific adoption of feminist dicta. This was the ideological framework for 1995 welfare reforms, which failed to reverse or improve any of our social problems. There is not one peer-reviewed scientific journal study proving this belief is correct, yet Pat Fagan still firmly clings to it and refuses to modify his position.

    Feminist family law jurisprudence, centered around no-fault divorce and the ultra-radical “Violence Against Women” law, coupled with welfare law providing substantial buyouts of marriage to lower income women, are the formidable anti-marriage machine shaping marital decisions of women.

    In the middle-class, no fault divorce has made marriage the only civil contract before law that can unilaterally be terminated by one party over the objection of the other, for which the filing party siezes the bulk of family assets with assistance of government.

    Every scientific study indicates that father-absence is a consequence of federal and state policies driving marriage-absence. Conservatives practicing radical feminism are destroying all possibility of reforming welfare and balancing our budget and empowering radical liberal sociopolitical agenda

    David R. Usher, President
    The Center for

    Report Post » drusher  
  • nocomment
    Posted on June 18, 2012 at 3:18am

    Never felt so low as I do today, Father’s Day. My young son, whom I adore, doesn’t like his Dad much. For good reason. Dad has been angry, impatient, unhappy… for years. Dad’s three greatest tenets: God, Family, Country… have all proven false. God (I’ve lost virtually all faith), Family (Divorce and a heartbreaking 50% custody, my own father virtually absent throughout my young life), and Country (Freedom, Liberty, the Constitution, American Society… all in decline). Add financial difficulty… and yet have seemingly squandered my ‘Greatest Treasures’ my children… So sad.

    Report Post »  
  • TEARS FOR AMERICA
    Posted on June 17, 2012 at 9:41pm

    My wonderful Daddy was always a southern gentleman, even in anger…we have lost the art of civility, humility and replaced those with raw, disgusting self-grandizement paired with obnoxious odors-case in point-Family Guy.

    Report Post » TEARS FOR AMERICA  
  • HowardSternIsABigot
    Posted on June 17, 2012 at 9:01pm

    Funny, i dont remember all the bashing on mothers day. America gets what it deserves, you abandoned real fathers and did everything to crush the ones that did try. you created job preferences for everyone but dads, you made divorce a profitable affair for women and marriage a prison for men. A “mothyer ” can murder a baby in the womb without consent of the father but father must pay for life if you choose to keep it. You changed the culture to one that mocks men and wonder why they are alcoholics and workaholics and mean. Dads, ignore the idiots in the country and live your life as you see fit. Its the new world order, every dog for himself and every kids on their own. Enjoy your holiday.

    Report Post »  
  • garbagecanlogic
    Posted on June 17, 2012 at 5:13pm

    Sorry, I do not agree with the author. I am living proof of it.

    Praise Be To Obama. Psalm 109:8

    The U.S. Out Of The U.N.
    The U.N. Out Of The U.S.

    Report Post »  
  • conservativewoman
    Posted on June 17, 2012 at 4:01pm

    Happy Father’s day to my Step-Dad who is now in heaven. I didn’t have him in my life until I was an adult, but for the first time, I had a man in my life who really cared about me.
    When I moved into my first apartment, which was upstairs, he carried my furniture up those stairs by himself. He bought me my first refrigerator, when he found out I only had an ice chest. He listened to my fears, and reassured me that everything would be alright, and he was so much fun to be around.
    I finally had a real Dad for awhile, but then the Lord took him home. Thank you Lord for putting him in my life.

    Report Post » conservativewoman  
  • karenm
    Posted on June 17, 2012 at 2:24pm

    I don‘t celebrate Father’s Day because my dad was not so nice to my mother. Thanks for the memories…not.

    Report Post » karenm  
  • searching for the Truth
    Posted on June 17, 2012 at 2:17pm

    Happy Fathers day to Our Father in Heaven .

    Report Post »  
    • kickagrandma
      Posted on June 17, 2012 at 2:43pm

      Amen and to my dad who is there with HIM.

      Report Post »  
    • girlnurse
      Posted on June 17, 2012 at 2:52pm

      My earthly dad curses God all day long. BUT-I have a FATHER..in heaven–He knows my name!!
      He has it written on the palm of His hand…Hallelujah! Going to a Luis Palau festival today and celebrate HIM! Happy Fathers Day to ALL..I hope you come to know the BEST Father you could EVER have!

      Report Post » girlnurse  
  • watashbuddyfriend
    Posted on June 17, 2012 at 2:11pm

    A Lady in the house makes a Good DAD!

    Report Post »  
  • searching for the Truth
    Posted on June 17, 2012 at 2:00pm

    ” Train a child in the way they should go, and when they are old, they will not depart from it.” – King James.

    Report Post »  
    • ScienceIsNotEvil
      Posted on June 17, 2012 at 3:11pm

      And if they don’t do what you say kill them with stones – Deuteronomy 21:18-21

      Report Post »  
    • ShyMan
      Posted on June 17, 2012 at 3:57pm

      Amen, science.

      I think you are supposed to apply proverbs 23:13-14 first (that’s the chastening part) over the life of the child and then the Deuteronomy verse you mentioned comes into play.

      I‘m just sayin’…

      Report Post » ShyMan  
    • The_Cabrito_Goat
      Posted on June 17, 2012 at 5:59pm

      Yes, because everybody does that when their kids act out of line.

      Report Post » The_Cabrito_Goat  
  • searching for the Truth
    Posted on June 17, 2012 at 1:56pm

    Well, I kinda take that back – the Good Book !

    Report Post »  
  • theblazerunner
    Posted on June 17, 2012 at 1:55pm

    happy father’s day…

    Russia Announces It Will Send Warships to Syria
    http://www.infowars.com/russia-announces-it-will-send-warships-to-syria/

    Highway to Hell!
    http://www.infowars.com/highway-to-hell/
    The hacks at the State House are salivating at the prospect of charging you a penny for every mile you drive your car in Massachusetts.

    This is a tax increase so monstrous that it would make M. Stanley Dukakis blush. We’re talking $555 million — the first year.

    It’s an idea so terrible it can’t be killed. Like a vampire, it keeps coming back to life, and the stake hasn’t been invented that can be driven through its black heart.

    Report Post » theblazerunner  
    • mikem1969
      Posted on June 18, 2012 at 11:53am

      You see, that’s when you pull out the gps monitoring chip and smash the odometer.

      Report Post »  
  • searching for the Truth
    Posted on June 17, 2012 at 1:55pm

    They never come with instructions !

    Report Post »  
  • searching for the Truth
    Posted on June 17, 2012 at 1:52pm

    Seems like a very nice book – I’ll look for it.

    Report Post »  
  • LetsBeSmartAboutThis
    Posted on June 17, 2012 at 1:42pm

    Looks to be a great book and worth the price.

    My father is still married to my mom all these years later… coming up on 60 years. Sadly, he wasn’t much more than a sperm donor. When I hear guys who idolize their dad it amazes me. I can’t grasp it. He was selfish and mean and physical and an alcoholic (still drinks into his 80′s).

    The same-sex parent of any child is their most important role model. Unfortunately in this family my father had 4 sons… not much valuable father and son teachings there. I guess it could have been worse, but geez, it could have been A LOT BETTER too!

    For those who were lucky enough to be dealt a great dad, count your blessings, and enjoy this Father’s Day!

    Report Post »  
    • OlefromMN
      Posted on June 17, 2012 at 1:55pm

      That is your opportunity to take the opposite tack with your children. I often said if you looked up the definition of “dysfunctional family” you would find a picture of my family when I was young. We all have some level of dysfunction. Right the wrongs and keep striving to be better.

      Report Post » OlefromMN  
    • watashbuddyfriend
      Posted on June 17, 2012 at 2:20pm

      @LetsBeSmart, could it be because of his mother, or your mother? Just asking, because of what I know!

      Report Post »  
    • LetsBeSmartAboutThis
      Posted on June 17, 2012 at 2:54pm

      I appreciate your feedback, thank you.

      I personally think he thought getting married would be all fun and games, but then he suddenly had 4 additional mouths to feed and he got real bitter and angry about his situation. He felt we ruined his dreams and his life. The bitterness showed itself in many ways. Would’ve been better off if my mom divorced him in the early years, but that, of course, was problematic.

      We’re all dealt different hands. My brothers and I just didn’t luck out on this one. Crappy, but such is life. I never got married, but my 3 brothers did, and all have at least 1 divorce to show for it.

      Bottom line… don‘t have kids if you don’t want kids. And if you DO have them, show them you love them in any way you can, every day that you can. To me EVERY child is a miracle and a blessing.

      Report Post »  
  • OlefromMN
    Posted on June 17, 2012 at 1:31pm

    Father’s Day is not a day of relaxation and ease for me. It forces me to reflect on the father that I am. Have I done the right things? Have I taught them the correct morals? Am I being the most effective father I can be?

    Time will only tell. But let us fathers never quit striving to be the best even though we may receive fawning cards telling us we are the bestest dad ever.

    Report Post » OlefromMN  
  • rickc34
    Posted on June 17, 2012 at 1:25pm

    Always remind your kids how much you love them. Always take time to be with them. Always encourage them. Always bring them up in the Lord. Always pray with them and set a good example. Family before work and before friends .

    Report Post »  
  • LeadNotFollow
    Posted on June 17, 2012 at 1:10pm

    …
    Happy Father’s Day to all the GOOD DADS.
    God bless you.

    Report Post »  
  • lukerw
    Posted on June 17, 2012 at 1:08pm

    Leaders… Good Dads… Clergy… Men… are MADE, not born :) Well… maybe some are!

    Report Post » lukerw  
  • CatB
    Posted on June 17, 2012 at 1:03pm

    To all the great dad’s >>> Happy Father’s Day <<< (you know who you are!) .. for the others .. get busy and get great (buy this book and learn, your kids need YOU)

    Report Post »  
  • MAJORMINOR
    Posted on June 17, 2012 at 12:41pm

    Thanks Dad…for being there

    Report Post » MAJORMINOR  
  • The-Monk
    Posted on June 17, 2012 at 12:39pm

    Happy Fathers Day to all the Fathers. : )

    Report Post » The-Monk  

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