Haunting Video of 13-Year-Old Bullying Victim
- Posted on March 31, 2011 at 6:43am by
Emily Esfahani Smith
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A 13-year old Connecticut girl who has been allegedly bullied by her peers for the past two years has taken her plight to YouTube, posting a haunting video expressing how the bullying has affected her. She uploaded the video on March 14 and already over 50,000 people have viewed it.
Alye Pollack, an eighth-grader at Bedford Middle School in Westport, doesn’t speak in the video, but just holds up a series of signs. One sign says that she only has three or four friends. “Why?” another sign she holds asks. “I am bullied,” she explains simply.
She says other girls have bullied her and that she has only three or four friends. One of her classmates confirmed this to Fox 5. That classmate said she wrote a secret note to Alye saying she supports her.
Bedford’s principal sent an email to parents on Friday saying the school was investigating a case of cyber bullying.
Alye‘s mother said the video was her daughter’s idea alone, according to a report.
Since Alye posted the video on Mach 14, support for Alye has grown and questions about what to do about bullying have been raised.
The superintendent of the school district said he could not comment about this specific case because of privacy reasons. But he did say the district has been agreesive in confronting bullies.
“We’ve been very rigid about being intolerant about bullying,” Dr. Elliott Landon told the Westport News. “If there‘s any sign that a kid’s in trouble, we act on that immediately.”
Alye’s message in the video clip was simple, but touching. “Think before you say things. It might save…lives,” she writes in a series of signs, which you can see below.
Alye says that not a day has gone by in the last couple of years that she hasn’t been called:
She admits that she’s not happy and that the bullying has driven her to despair:
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Comments (207)
Helldogger
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 8:26amFolks, don’t be fooled by this “bullying” BS. This is another underhanded attempt to hamper free speech. They will be using it just like they’re using racism, racism, racism.
Report Post »The remedy to bullying is a good ol’ fassion fist sandwich. Use it evertime you get bullied…..at school. When you grow up, use your God given right to speak freely……unless that got stolen from you by weak minded people.
Cerealface
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 12:32pmWhy should victims solve the problem? The bully causes it. Victim feels unwanted. The parents fix it with discipline. God given doesn’t mean make fun of other people nor haul off and punch some one. So try not to use it again.
Report Post »NC1
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 12:43pmI agree. Everytime I got bullied in school, the bully got a good fist to the gut. Didn’t bother me after that. And it does wonders for a kid’s self-esteem knowing that they stood up for themselves. Kids have been told too much to tell someone else when you got a problem instead of handling it themselves.
I say the girl should go take some Tae Kwon Do or something and when they bully her again she can hand them their a$$.
Report Post »publiuswarmac9999
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 8:24amThere was a time a few decades ago where the bullies were dealt with rather quietly by the gym coach and members of the football team.
Report Post »Ironeagle
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 9:47amIf this kid won’t defend herself, she should go to her parents to take action. Where is the kid’s father in all of this? Is there no man in the house that can interject himself into the situation and create a significant emotional event in the life of this bully?
Report Post »LadyIzShy
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 8:18amthe school may get involved but it will do no good it willonly make them get sneakier about how they bully her. I have seen this time and time again.. its too bad that kids think its OK to bully. we have raised a generation of kids who have no feelings for others they have NO empathy NO sympathy and no morals. we are the ones who did this..and we MUST correct it
Report Post »chiapet33
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 7:57pmYou are right. The schools turn a blind eye because they themselves use bully tactics
Report Post »Dr. Insane O
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 8:16amThe world loves you Alye. Don’t do something stupid.
Kudo’s to the parents of the bullies. How you learn to treat people usually starts at home.
They should be so proud
Report Post »searching for the Truth
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 8:15amJust embrace this, written in the Good Book – ” This too shall pass….”
Report Post »jedi.kep
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 8:12amKids are some of the cruelest people on the planet.
Report Post »searching for the Truth
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 8:09amIt’s even worst than that- they’ll threaten to kill you. And try!
Report Post »teddrunk
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 8:07amAlye, remember this, although the other girls bully YOU now, there’s a good chance some of those bullying girls will marry lowlife scum that will not only call them all those names, often in a drunken rage, but may physically abuse them. What goes around, comes around.
Report Post »CobiusMaximus
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 7:47pm“It’s alright. It’s okay. You’re gonna pump our gas one day”
-Bring It On
How many people do you think picked on Bill Gates as a kid?
Report Post »Speak without Fear
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 8:05amVery sad, I feel for this young girl. Jr. High is brutual time. Hormones are starting to rage, ALL kids are typically ackward and gangley at that time. Your body is changing. The peer pressure starts, they start seperating into cliques. Popularity contests start. You are transitioning from playing hopscotch/tag….to going to dances……from running from boys with cooties…..to running to them. Jr. High is a rough time and kids can be very brutual at time.
Most everyone has been a victim of a bully at sometime or another growing up. I hope that people around her will reach out to this young lady and reassure her that it will be ok and she is not alone.
I am glad that this young girl is getting therapy. Hope she able to work thru this difficult time in her life and start enjoying and making some of the best memories of her life as she enters high school.
Report Post »freedomwatcher
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 7:56amKids who bully are a DIRECT reflection on the parents who raise them. DIRECT!!!!!!
Report Post »redsred
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 7:55amI was bullied once by an older kid in elementary school. getting angered enough, my fist to his nose stopped that crap. once in a while, meeting violence with violence works
Report Post »CobiusMaximus
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 7:44pmThis is my story perfectly. I had a bully very young, around first grade. This kid would always hit me. My parents told me that next time he hit me, they wanted me to punch him as hard as i could in the face and they promised that I would not get into trouble for it from them. Sure enough, the next day they were called by my principal because I had badly beaten up this kid. He never touched me again.
The problem is this: when I was young (and I am only 24 now) we were taught that violence was the last resort, while children nowadays are taught that everything can be solved with words and violence in never the answer. People teach kids these days not to fight back because that would “just bring you down to their level”. Bullies WILL be in your life until the day you die. If these kids do not learn how to respond to bullies as kids, I am afraid of how they will respond to bullies in the future when there is no teacher to cry to.
Read Donald Trump’s “Think Big and Kick A$$ in Business and in Life”. There is an entire section on bullying. He reinforces that if someone purposefully wrongs you, hit them back ten times harder than they hit you. Not only will it stop the person from doing it again, it will also show everyone else that you are not a person to me fked with (and it feels awesome).
Report Post »alrunner58
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 7:50amWe have schools for everything why not a school on “How to Beat the Hell out of Bullies”,
Report Post »TennesseeConservative
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 10:15amThere is, it is called Karate. Not Tae Kwon Do, but a real karate school, that you actually have to fight. Then your kids will say to the bullies, Go outside and practice falling down, I will be there in 5 minutes. Do not coddle your kids, train them to fight. It also instils discipline, and self control.
Report Post »SpankDaMonkey
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 7:50am.
Report Post »The kid next door was bullied damn near to death, by a group of kids at school. We have a nephew in the USMC he came to visit showed up in his dress blues, the kid next door was in awe. Tyson spent some time with him during the week he stayed with us. The day before he left the kid next door came home from school black eye, fat lip skinned up one side and down the other. His mother made a beeline for our door when they got home. Not to yell but to thank Tyson for making her young son stand up for himself
Concerned1
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 7:46amWhere are the parents of these kids? Why aren’t THEY holding their kids accountable? When my daughter was in school, you better believe I knew all her teachers, all her friends, and what she was doing 24/7. That was my job. She never would have gotten away with such horrible abuse. This is not a school problem. This is a parent problem.
Report Post »Tigertame4
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 12:31pmI was bullied like that in school. My parents never knew because my mom was in a bad relationship and I did not want her to worry. You cannot know what happens 24/7 and if you think you do you are naive.
Report Post »pieman
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 1:20pmSometimes the parents are the reason for the bullying. They are bullies themselves.
Report Post »dsm
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 7:30am@blackjacx1
well said
Report Post »Deane
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 7:29amI hope her therapist helps her understand that bullies are really insecure and unhappy as well. Time for the parents to step in and move to another neighborhood where they are not known. Unfortunately with her video she is now known worldwide…..I fear it will only inspire more bullies to bring her to the brink. I hope we dont see her on the evening news as another hopeless teenage suicide
Report Post »Carol486
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 12:08pmI think she will be supported, not by all but by enough . She was very smart to ask for help in this way. How scary it must have been to do , but she knew she needed help. I know the corner they can be backed into through listening to my own children and listening to how the teachers can at times even be complicit. Kids usually do not want parents to step in and “save” them. It makes them even weaker to do that. All I have found to do is to continue to encourage them to be who they are and stand up to it best they can. Trouble is kids create such false realities to suite there needs and isolate those they either feel threatened by or just plain have it in for. I agree bullying begins at home. If empathy and compassion aren’t nurtured it quickly becomes an insignificant emotion in the pecking order of the schools and carries over into society.
Report Post »Texan Man
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 7:26amGod bless the young girl. I look forward to the day when the parents wake up from being so naive that they tell themselves, “My kid wouldn’t bully other kids like that.” As we say down here in Tx, that dog won’t hunt. Heck, that dog is a vegetarian. Face it, showing your kid this video is not doing your parenting job on bullies.
Report Post »BlackMan
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 7:25amVery Disturbing. I grew up in the inner city, and this happens daily. I hated it.
Report Post »i was a small young man, and couldnt defend myself.
when I became an adult
I joined the Marine Corps
guess what? I was bullied there too. That is part of TRAINING! all through boot camp, and my schools
It made me a better man, it taught me to stand up right, be honorable, treat people fairly,
and that sometimes…. U have to stand up for yourself, The world can be a cruel place, but those bullies make u stronger. Next time, someone calls this young girl a name. she should say. “Yo Momma ! ” and prepare to fight, and lose if need be. but fight.
America needs to realize we are not Europeans, all this coddling and softness and the Oprahfication of our society is desroying us
jeff.cooper
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 8:05amAgreed. Kids should be encouraged to stand up for themselves. I am not advocating fighting but running off to a playground supervisor or teacher doesn’t solve the problem. In fact, it sometimes increases the severity of the bullying. If the bullied can’t defend themselves, then someone in that school should stand up for the defenseless and become a hero or heroine.
I hope this young girl is getting the help she is asking for before it is too late.
Report Post »rambosharley
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 8:27amDitto! Stand up for yourself….Bullies don’t like that.
Report Post »minnierv
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 12:20pmThey need to be taught ways to stand up to this. Expecting someone to come to their assistance teaches them nothing. Life is just not that way. Don’t take me wrong, I sympathize with this young lady and others like her but at some point in your life you gotta find some inner strength to do what you gotta do and not cower off with your tail between your legs waiting for someone else to do what you should do for yourself. I am not saying to bring yourself down to their level but you gotta let them know that you have self respect and point out the immaturity of what they are doing. Their bullying is an outward act of a lack of self respect and an inferiority issue.
Report Post »Roxtar1968
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 7:23amSome kids are just evil! I try to have my daughter be kind to everyone. She says it hard sometimes because the “Heathers” in her school pile on those that are kind to the less popular along with the kids they are tormenting. Hold your children close and talk to them everyday. If you have a felling they are unhappy, you are probably right. Take the time to hug them every chance you get, even if they don’t act like they want a hug. My daughter has had her troubles and tried “cutting”. I can’t even comprehend the act let alone the need to do it. Maybe we need to bring God back to our schools. It seems when he was forced out, the trouble started!
Report Post »GayDem4Beck
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 7:23amI feel for this poor kid and may others like her. I went through the same issues, and it hasn’t changed. What happened to the lessons of love they neighbor ? I always hear about tolerance and love, but continuously told that I‘m going to hell and god hates me because I’m gay…. Where do you think allot of this division comes from ? Let them/us be judged by our Lord, not by fellow man.
Report Post »raspberrytea
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 8:20amI’m glad your here!
Report Post »nanchuan
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 11:53ami too am glad you are here. judging by your screen name, you see something in glenn that i think many who “despise/hate” him and his message miss. it’s a true love of God and an understanding of His love for us as the created. it’s hard to “know” that without being at the very bottom at one time or another.
as for this young lady, i know all too well where she is; how desperate she likely feels for some form of acceptance. i was there as many of us here on this site. a child’s sense of worth can all too often be influenced in such a negative way by these people. i was bullied (maybe less maybe more than she) for years upon years. i did stand up for myself eventually having learned martial arts but that only stopped some and you are ALL right we cannot legislate morality or common sense. i pray for this beautiful girl and hope that she finds hope by clinging to the friends she does have as well as to the Lord. it was not until i decided to focus almost exclusively on pursuing that which was positive in my life that i was able to accept myself and allow all the bs to role off my back (still hurt but like teflon it didn’t stick). stick with that i say and He will raise you up!
Report Post »Blackjacx1
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 7:14amBully‘s don’t just happen. They are generally a product of their environment, lack of attention, love, respect, self worth, and on and on.
Report Post »People need to give up the extra “goodies”, and go back to a simpler life style, where someone is always home and that person not just supervising but helping and teaching, giving encouragement, and an ear with pertinent advice.
It‘s sad so many people don’t see that this isn’t a administrative failing, but a globalized systemic failure, where it‘s accepted that it’s more important to have toys for you kids to play with alone, then someone(not a hired stranger) to be with.
koyettsu
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 7:03amThere is something drastically wrong with kids today, we all had these exact problems, the difference is I never once considered ending my life. I am personally glad I was teased because honestly it helped me become stronger and now nothing bothers me. I feel for her, I hope she realizes that school isn’t permanent and life gets great.
Report Post »Ellbee
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 7:25amMe too. I got picked on every day for months by the same girl-twice my size. One day I just snapped though, and flushed her head. Nobody picked on me again all through school. But cutting, killing myself? Over some loser? Please.
And now, the grammar in the article: Agreesive? That’s not even a word!
Report Post »“Alye’s message in the video clip was simply, but touching” COME ON Blaze. You can do better.
ShyLow
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 2:05pmAnother video of Casey getting Revenge…http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iSYlxzCHvKg In The Face…In The Face
Report Post »truthncharity
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 7:02amLord, comfort and protect this young lady….may she know You and gather strength from it….send her people to build her up and to shed Your love upon her. She already knows the truth that words have power…may she hear words of truth, love, and faith to empower and build her up.
Alot of us have dealt with this too in our youth. Some are strong and can take it, others are not. Those who are strong must stand up for those who are weak.
Report Post »HUGGINGMYBABIES
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 6:53amWant to stop cyber bullying? Dontvlet you kids on Facebook etc. Period! My step daughter in 5th grade was sent home with a cyber bullying contract………the have a case in her class……10 years old and on Facebook? What kind of parents…….
Report Post »quarter horseman
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 6:52amMy God does that bring back bad memories for me, I was call almost the same things, thought the same things, it sucks and I feel her pain. I wish I could be there for her and help her, this is scarry I know how she is feeling. I hope she keeps strong and doesnt do anything stupid, pray for her please.
Report Post »rdsxfn
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 6:58amPrayers said.
Report Post »grandmaof5
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 7:30amBullies should be expelled from schools and put the responsibility back on the parents. The mother in Australia, defending her son and calling for an apology, is part of the problem, not the solution. When it becomes her problem it will be dealt with. Kids that bully at this age have gotten away with it for years because of PC, the fear of a law suit, or schools that have little discipline. Touchy, feely needs to be replaced with clear consequences.
Report Post »Taxpayer550
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 7:30amI’m with you on that. And to top it all off, one of the people who bullied me the most when I was a kid is now the Mayor of my town.
Report Post »t00nces2
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 7:42amI think that many people would say they were bullied in school. I felt very bullied as a child. Looking back, I would say that I was bullied to a certain extent, but it also teaches you how to cope with life in the future. Don’t get me wrong, I am not condoning bullying, but I just think that everyone (or nearly) goes through it. There were times I felt the same way this poor girl feels, actually, much of the time I was in school. I’m not sure there is anything that can be done as a whole (you cannot legislate morality), other than bringing God back into childrens lives.
I have to say, I am not a deeply religious, but I was brought up having gone to some church and Sunday school. I would not be considered a Bible thumper at this point, but I can see what the abolishment of any bit of God in the classroom has done.
APatriotFirst
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 7:50amNot a word said out loud, and yet she spoke loudly for all to hear.
Words are very powerful.
This young lady will be ok.
Many have heard her words.
*ok, who emptied the kleenex box?*
Report Post »grandmaof5
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 8:09amTAXPAYER550, now that’s food for fodder. They will be claiming, “If you curb that agressive personality they might not become a politician when they grow up. See, he turned out okay.” Or did someone finally slap him down?
Report Post »Bornfree1948
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 8:24amWell said CREESTOF
Report Post »BarCalliyon
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 8:29amThis video will have more of an effect than anything the schools can do. My prayers are with her.
Report Post »mtnclimberjim
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 8:40amCREESTOF,
Very well said
Report Post »dealer@678
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 9:06amI pray that Alye can look in the mirror and see what WE see. A beautiful 13 year old girl with a pretty smile . Yea i saw that smile
Report Post »cessna152
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 9:07amI am sorry, but we have ALL been teased. You can look at it two ways… either fight back or cower! We are bringing up a society of kids who want parents and administrators to resolve their problems. I was an over weight geek as a kid. I got teased and picked on! However, I ignored them and it eventually stopped… I graduated school 25 years ago and that is in the past. Do people think that teasing and bullying only happen in schools? Nope!! I am a Tea partier, Conservative Christian and hear it all the time now…. at work and even from friends. Good thing I learned how to deal with teasing when I was younger to be able to “master” it NOW!! Parents take your time to teach your children they are loved and there are hateful people in the world… this too shall pass.
watchtheotherhand
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 9:12amThis kind of crap really P@#$$%@ me off !!!!! Where are the freakin’ teachers? Don‘t tell me that they don’t hear this crap. And the other parents? I would squash my kids I if found out they were saying these things about someone else. Kids are cruel and have no clue what kind of lasting damage they leave. And the ones that engages in this infantile crap are some of the most insecure little kids in the whole school, trying to build themselves up by tearing someone else down. It makes me sick!!! I was not bullied. But I told many kids in my school that tried to bully others to shut the h@#$ up or I would be kickin’ butt (even though I know that wasn’t good). I cannot stand for the strong to pick on the weak it literally goes all through me. My kids and their friends know I better NEVER hear of them doing anything like this ever. And if another kid tried to consistently bully my kid that kids parents and I would be having it out and the school would be my whipping boy if they didn’t do something about it. These kids are forming in many ways their identities and for them to be told these things constantly will stay with them the rest of their life in one way or another. Just look at the people here, one quick reminder and you can see the pain in the posts. It is not normal and it doesn’t make someone stronger or teach them to cope. I don‘t have to get beat up on to know that’s not how you treat people. Forgive my passion and mild language but like a fire in me I cannot contain the anger that this generates in me that this girl is being driven to therapists and cutting because some idiots are abusive with their mouth.
James 3:6
Report Post »The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.
watchtheotherhand
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 9:15am@ CESSNA…..that is great for you but not all kids can “master” handling that kind of abuse. Many come from broken backgrounds already and have no help or guidance through these issues and I would say that this stuff can be a bit more difficult for young girls than boys even. It needs to be stopped by kids, parents, and administrators. Adults can deal with it better I don’t look to anyone but the Lord for my worth but these kids are just trying to figure out who they are and their peers are very important to them. They all want to be liked, fit in, have friends. Instead all they get reinforced is your ugly, fat, stupid, etc etc……hear it enough and you begin to believe it.
Report Post »cessna152
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 9:37am@watchtheotherhand,
I understand what you are saying. I had a real tough dad and a mom that was off in another world. I was a messed up kid ,until I found Christ I was a total mess. This is a society breakdown problem and you are correct with the school system… the schools have a zero tolerance policy but are too PC to use it. Someone mentioned it earlier about private school or homeschooling because public schools are a waste. I for one have 3 kids in private school and we struggle with paying for it but after seeing what my oldest daughter went through in public school I don’t regret it all. Luckily she stood her ground when she was bullied at public school, but from what I hear is the public schools teach kids NOT to defend themselves… is that true? I know teachers made excuses for the bully and in the end she got lunch detention and that was it! My daughter was told she needs to just ignore it then we were asked if she needs to be on Ritalin??I was like “you’re kidding me…right”!?
Bottom line, we need to get back to morals, values and families spending time together again. that has been our prayer for quite some time. However, I think we need to lose all our “stuff” for that to happen.
Report Post »Uncle Crusty
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 10:13amMy dear young lady, open up your Bible, find words of encouragement there, ignore the taunts of bullies, you look very sad and I will pray for you every day, you remind me of my beautiful daughter, and tears came to my eyes seeing this! You are beautiful, you are smart, you are God’s child.
You see I was bullied too, but physically, I took a stand, a violent one, but you don’t have to, you can overcome these kids who haunt you through Jesus Christ. I just want you to know ‘I love you’ for you, just being you. Please be strong, find love, and follow your dreams, because those that hurt you will lose in the end, and you will win, with love in your heart!
May God Bless you and keep you under his wing, I pray to Jesus Christ to save you from your tormentors. Amen.
Go forward bravely young lady, and remember you are beautiful and smart, that is all you need, you don’t need these people in your life and one day you will see what I am saying, hang in there as I did, and it will turn around for you, I guarantee it. I hope these words find there way to you, I really do!
Report Post »watchtheotherhand
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 10:30amI believe Satan loves to use this stuff to make kids bitter, angry, and despondent. Without guidance and support they loose any sense of hope and even with encouraging words they still hear the damning words every day reinforced by the apathy of others who do nothing and stand for no one. At this point it is easy for misguided kids to grow resentful of a God that cares for them wondering where He was during their pain and why He let it happen to them. I hope God places a wise loving person in her life to answer these difficult questions and destroy the work of the Evil one as Jesus said in the Word.
Report Post »A Doctors Labor Is Not My Right
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 10:55amLearning how to respond to the bullies’ unsults is going to be key for her. Not so much because she’s concerned with how the bullies think – she likely doesn’t – but because of how the insults are perceived by others.
My suggestion to her would be to learn to love logic – find the forums for controversial debates and learn how and why people think the way they do – because the bullies’ insults will have increasingly less effect on others as she learns how to respond to their claims about her.
And she should start asking her parents about their opinions on all sorts of topics – they’ve been around for awhile, and they love her, so they’re likely to be safer to argue with.
A Doctors Labor Is Not My Right
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 11:06amIt can get worse in high school, especially if you have to deal with those same bullies, yes. But after high school, a lot of the bullies grow up and mellow out.
I hope she hangs in there.
Report Post »thetwilightzone
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 12:32pmWhile we educate our children against being a bully we also need to educate children on not being a victim of bullying.
When I was young name calling was also common. We were told “sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me”. I know it sounds simplistic but along with that we were taught the attitude that comes with it. That the name-calling bully does not have power over you. We were taught that it was our self esteem and our belief in ourselves that let us turn a deaf ear to the taunts. This should be included in our “bullying education”
We were also taught that if a bully hit you day after day and wasn’t going to stop, you needed to hit back and defend yourself (something we also don’t let our children do now). Now if someone defends themselves we give the victim the same punishment as the offender (suspension)
Tigertame4
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 12:34pmI was bullied like that through junior high and high school I DOES effect you. I went on to college, served in the military and am the mom of two great kids (grown now) I STILL have a hard time believing in myself or allowing others to be close. There is always that underlying feeling that people can’t really like you.
Report Post »VTDave
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 12:54pmDamn, this brought back memories of the crap that I used to go through in school. My heart hurts.
Report Post »watchtheotherhand
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 12:56pm@ TIGERTAME…………….Right on momma of 2……That saying sticks and stones is a farce. Words as this young lady pointed out do hurt they do carry weight and meaning and no matter how much you tell yourself to ignore it or “deal” with it this way or that it doesn’t undo or remove all the pain of being hated and rejected. This is just like trying to put a band-aid on a cancer. It is insufficient advice that leaves many children hopeless and withdrawn. The bullying needs to be addressed head on. Of course name calling is going to happen, but this is the same lame argument that schools use for handing out condoms. Kids are going to have sex so we have to accommodate that. Bull we need to bring them all to the proper standard, not lower it or make excuses for them. If the standard we give them is it is going to happen anyway then that’s exactly what we can expect. The standard is we don’t treat or talk to people that way PERIOD. And if you are caught doing it there are consequences based on the severity and circumstances involved in the situation. I am so tired of everyone excusing behavior like this, it’s part of life, it’s going to happen regardless, or it will make them stronger. Do we let kids just take drugs because others are going to do it? Do we let them sleep around because others are doing it? No we do not. Nor should we excuse or tolerate this behavior because it can have lasting and damaging effects on the children !!!!!! I hope TIGERTAME knows some people will always fight to protect the dignity that EVERY human being should be entitled to. I am sorry that you suffered in that manner.
dcwike
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 12:58pmDoes the same for me, too. Not only was I called names, I was attacked by a gang either with them throwing rocks at me or surrounding me to fight with me. There was “nothing we can do” according to the authorities (school administrators as well as legally unless I was seriously hurt.)
I‘m GLAD it’s much easier now to bring this kind of stuff out in the open.
Even though it’s “natural” for kids or groups of kids to “bully” those who just don’t “fit in,” it’s also dangerous AND very “hurtful” in those that are bullied, if not physically, emotionally.
Fortunately for me it stopped once the kids “matured” in High School, but, all in all, the scars of feeling unworthy and having a low self esteem lasted a very long time for me. Not to mention the lack of self confidence that resulted from it. I was not suicidal, but, there were many times I wondered why I was even alive when I was so unworthy to others that they shunned me the way they did.
It really NEEDS to be addressed by the authorities and parents. Such behavior should be punished. There WAS one teacher who DID that by making the name-caller (she heard in her class) SERVE me in home economics class when we were learning how to cook.
Report Post »1776_2012
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 1:00pmAmen. Prayers said.
Report Post »alvino
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 1:23pmI was beat up every year as a child until the 9th grade (when I learned to fight back). The 2nd agreement discussed in the book “The Four Agreements” is “don’t take anything personally.”.
“I am a rock, I am an island.” Simon and Garfunkel. Bullies have no power over me that I did not give to them before I learned these principles. Now, nobody gets to me unless I open the door to let them in.
Report Post »quarter horseman
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 1:44pmYes Alvino and that door is very hard to open.
Report Post »YellowFin
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 2:04pmI was bullied once, only once. I put a stop to it by my attitude. You see, I was just not going to allow it! Once the bully figured that out, it was over.
And by my attitude of self respect, anyone who was considering choosing me as a target just had to move on to someone else. It is not necessarily a matter of what you say or your willingness to defend yourself, it is your attitude, that you will not allow someone to abuse you. Bullies target the weak and those feeble in their self confidence. This poor girl needs someone to bolster up her self respect and then the rest is up to her.
Remember Casey the Punisher? His attitude changed and no longer is he a victim.
Report Post »jzs
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 3:48pmMaybe someone can explain to me why the concern, outrage and thoughtful posts on this thread are not found on this thread:
http://www.theblaze.com/stories/6th-grade-nyc-boy-charged-with-hate-crime-for-trying-to-rip-off-girls-hijab/
Report Post »watchtheotherhand
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 4:01pm@ JZS……eh hhmm Maybe because the boy is being punished as he should be and this girl still suffers with no apparent action toward the bullies. Nice try at a sly and subtle hint about being racist toward a Muslim but then why don’t you go and read the comments on this story !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
http://www.theblaze.com/stories/muslim-girl-14-lashed-to-death-for-alleged-adultery/
Report Post »techengineer11
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 5:22pmMy god. What has this nation been reduced to? Goodness who the hell has not been the victum of a bully? It makes us tougher.. It makes us stronger. People have got to grow some skin. No one has a right to be protected from Words in America!!!! lol But they sure want it. Don’t they GB and FOX news..
Report Post »You craftly push for it all while trying to retain your mantle of being the news outlet for Conservatives.. Just more Marxism. They want our freedom of Speech! Plain and simple. NO one has the right to be protected from Words.
Czar Casm
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 7:13pmI‘m probably wrong but what if this isn’t real. Teenage girls can be pretty dramatic. Bless her heart if it is but I need something more than a you-tube clip. Too many people looking for that 15 minutes of fame.
Report Post »O.K., let the shtuff hit the fan. Let’s hear it.
Dale
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 10:35pm@Doc;
Yes, remember Casey the Crusher (Punisher)’s words (paraphrasing): school doesn’t last forever.
Report Post »Dale
Posted on March 31, 2011 at 10:38pm@czar;
The article indicates that a friend confirms some of the story.
Report Post »takemout
Posted on April 1, 2011 at 2:30pmMaybe you were picked on because you spell so poorly.
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