‘Here it Is. I’m Dead, and This Is My Last Post to My Blog.’
- Posted on May 9, 2011 at 9:05pm by
Emily Esfahani Smith
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TORONTO (AP) — A Canadian man who blogged about his battle with colorectal cancer left a final post before he died last week, a message that drew millions of hits.
A day after Derek Miller, 41, died in Burnaby, British Columbia, of complications from cancer, a message entitled “The Last Post” was posted on his site penmachine.com.
“Here it is. I’m dead, and this is my last post to my blog. In advance, I asked that once my body finally shut down from the punishments of my cancer, then my family and friends publish this prepared message I wrote the first part of the process of turning this from an active website to an archive,” read the post.
Miller, who been blogging for 10 years, had been one of the best known bloggers in British Columbia. He was diagnosed with stage four metastatic colorectal cancer in 2007.
“It turns out that no one can imagine what’s really coming in our lives. We can plan, and do what we enjoy, but we can’t expect our plans to work out,” he wrote in his final post.
“I think and hope that’s what my daughters can take from my disease and death. And that my wonderful, amazing wife Airdrie can see too. Not that they could die any day, but that they should pursue what they enjoy, and what stimulates their minds, as much as possible they can be ready for opportunities, as well as not disappointed when things go sideways, as they inevitably do.”
Miller’s post-mortem message May 4 went viral, drawing 143 comments and causing the site to crash and forcing a friend of Miller’s to move the site to another server.
His wife, Airdrie Miller, said she believed the site had about 3 million hits after his last post. Alistair Calder, the friend who moved the site to a larger server after it crashed, said it could have been as high as 8 million hits, but it was hard to pin down the number because of the crash.
Airdrie Miller told The Associated Press that her daughter updated her Facebook status shortly after saying her dad’s blog went viral because he was such a great guy.
“I thought that was very sweet, touching and true,” said Airdrie Miller, adding that though she knew he would succumb to the cancer, it’s just now setting in that her partner of 16 years is really gone.
Airdrie Miller, who also blogged about her experience dealing with his cancer at talkingtoair.com, said her husband had lost his voice for the past two months and his blog helped her cope, knowing that though he couldn’t speak, his mind was still active.
“When he lost his voice is when I really started reading his blog so I could know what was going on in his head. We used text messaging, twitter, all forms of social media to connect,” she said. “And even now, when my daughter is finding it hard to cope, she’ll text me in the middle of the night and sometimes I wake up to 43 texts from her. All these modes have allowed us all to communicate while going through such a difficult time. His blog will become a memorial for me.”
Friend and fellow blogger Mark Blevis said Miller’s death caught him off guard.
“I didn’t expect his decline in health over the last few months to be so fast. More importantly, you realize how small the world has become and how close we’ve all become through our online relationships, which become real world relationships,” said Blevis.
Miller wore many hats in his lifetime. He had a marine biologist degree, but had worked as a writer and editor since the 1980s. He was also a musician and photographer.
In his blog’s bio section, he wrote that he discovered his cancer was terminal late in 2010 and that he expected it to kill him sometime in 2011 or early 2012.
The father of two tween girls blogged about everything from getting his voice back to sipping cherry cola at 3 a.m. in his hospital bed to his realization that death is impending.
In a post entitled “A wondrous place” Miller wrote, “The world, indeed the whole universe, is a beautiful, astonishing, wondrous place. There is always more to find out. I don’t look back and regret anything, and I hope my family can find a way to do the same.”
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Comments (89)
Marylou7
Posted on May 10, 2011 at 5:14amIt is always sad to lose a dad, husband, brother, son. God be with his family.
Report Post »Hmschlmom
Posted on May 10, 2011 at 1:05pmAmen!
Report Post »madmemere
Posted on May 10, 2011 at 3:44amMy most sincere condolences to the Miller Family; do not despair, celebrate his great life and know that Derek is now in a far better place, where there is no pain!
Report Post »Getten
Posted on May 10, 2011 at 12:39amGuys, don’t be afraid or ashamed of a colonoscopy. Colon cancer is one of the most preventable and treatable forms of cancer. Aside from a possible genetic predisposition to the disease, this guy didn’t have to die.
Report Post »HorseCrazy
Posted on May 10, 2011 at 12:27am@MOMPRAYIN Love that link thanks for sharing!
Report Post »prayers going out for his family
Lt_Taz
Posted on May 9, 2011 at 11:27pmMay the Lord comfort his family and friends. and may his soul and the souls of all the faithfully departed Rest in Peace amen
Report Post »beverlee
Posted on May 9, 2011 at 11:24pmMy prayers . . .
Report Post »SHASTADIANE1
Posted on May 9, 2011 at 11:12pmI feel bad for his family AND for him, and why someone has to try to make this political other than the Canadian Health care stuff is beyond me? God Bless this family who has to deal with their loss. This man is out of this world and his suffering..My brother, 52 years old passed on May 3rd. A lot of it, he brought on himself, but someone like this man did nothing that I can see to deserve what happened to him. So many of my family and friends have died of cancer. My heart goes out to them.
Report Post »imreddog
Posted on May 9, 2011 at 11:07pmThere are a number of cures for cancer but they are being suppressed by the American Cancer Society and the drug manufacturers. It should be noted that none of the cures work 100% of the time. I cured a tumor on my forehead with an herbal formula… no chemo therapy and no radiation. If Obama has his way, he will be responsible for the destruction of the best health care that the world has ever known, even though it would be a lot better than it is if it weren’t for the drug manufacturers.
Report Post »In regular medicine, there was a study on breast cancer that my poodle participated in. Before they removed the tumors, they injected the cell wall of the Tuberculous Bacilli (sp) in and around the tumors. A few days later they removed the tumors. My poodle was one of the first dogs in the study.. she drowned two weeks before her 18th birthday… cancer free! The survival rate went from 10% to 90%. I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF THEM USING THIS TREATMENT ON WOMEN!… WHICH WAS WHAT THEY SAID WAS THEIR INTENDED GOAL… TO SAVE THE LIVES OF WOMEN. NO RADIATION AND NO CHEMO THERAPY.
analogiafidei
Posted on May 9, 2011 at 10:41pmIt is sad that he died w/o apparently coming to Christ; since Jesus said that He was the only way to the Father (Jn 14.6). I pray for his family!
Report Post »lindap1667
Posted on May 9, 2011 at 10:28pmWith God’s grace, I will stay healthy for now as I do not have insurance. I have been working a parttime job with full time hours. The job offers insurance but cant afford the 6oo a month, now the job is closing so it will be aleast another 3 months for insurance (thats if I find another job). So now I dont totally disagree with goverment insurance, its better than nothing
Report Post »Enough of my whinning, and pray for the family of the cancer victum.
teachermitch32
Posted on May 10, 2011 at 11:10amIt is better than nothing, however, it took me almost a year to get an appointment with a cardiologist for next June 2nd. Since then I have been on Isosorbide and Nitro. Living each day to it’s fullest with my wife of 31 years and 15 year old daughter, and Christ by my side, has been wonderful. Not sure how much longer it will last but it does not matter because life is so full with God and His Word as my hope and guide. He might even make a way for us to get off the system we have paid into all these years. I pray that is so for so many Americans, and that we keep fighting for less Gov’nt and more freedom for the “pursuit” of happiness. May God bless this man’s family with the openess to at least see the light sooner than later.
Report Post »olddog
Posted on May 9, 2011 at 10:14pmI lost my wife to cancer at 47 and have seen so many of my friends go the same way.A lot of prayers made it much easier on my wife and she lived much longer than Dr’s said. I could not imagine being an atheist and having cancer there would be no hope for anyone involved.
Report Post »Cedi
Posted on May 9, 2011 at 10:29pmThat is just way too young olddog, my mom died last year at 78 and I felt it was too young.
Report Post »DaveOregon
Posted on May 9, 2011 at 10:13pmRests in Peace. He did nothing to deserve hell – so don‘t state this man’s in hell. The mind of God is beyond your fathoming – and His love knows no bounds. Do you not love your child even though they may have gone astray of your beliefs? I think not – or you would not get angry or sad – it’s because you still care.
Report Post »Cedi
Posted on May 9, 2011 at 10:28pmActually we have all done something that deserves hell. I dont know this mans fate, but I suspect it is just as he stated it was……………..very sad indeed.
Report Post »mygunsweetness
Posted on May 9, 2011 at 9:45pmRest in peace,God be with him and his family
Report Post »duvexy
Posted on May 9, 2011 at 9:42pmThis is so sad. Almost not fair. But, my condonlences to his family and friends.
Report Post »mickrussom
Posted on May 9, 2011 at 9:41pmsad to see him reject christ. its sad to see good people turned soul less by false idols such as obama, he took hope from the rat vermin liberal left but reject christs love and christ everlasting.
i pray his daughters and his wife have faith and hope in heave and the eternal love of christ. its sad to see someone say the soul is gone after life and shrug it all off like it doenst matter.
Report Post »momprayn
Posted on May 9, 2011 at 10:01pmMore than sad….I didn‘t know who he was at all and checked out his site where he does say he wasn’t afraid of death bc he just believed when that happened, he was just “nothing” – going nowhere – meaning he wasn’t a Christian. Not to be mean or anything, but I saw this here after reading a testimony of a man who was an unbeliever & “died”, went to hell but came back – after being in a coma for about a month. Yes, I know it could be all made up or whatever but for those interested:
Report Post »http://www.christianpost.com/news/former-non-christian-my-time-in-hell-50071/
Catharsis
Posted on May 9, 2011 at 10:31pmHe did not “shrug it off,” carelessly. It was brave and knew what was coming (or not). He didn’t bend in the end, and just because you find that outlook hopeless doesn’t imply that there exists an afterlife.
Report Post »carnifex
Posted on May 10, 2011 at 1:19amTo reject the orthydoxy of a regulated church I can understand. But my dad, who I related above as being just found cancerous, also rejects even God as a concept. Once while arguing with him about it, I asked him “Who hurt you so bad that you would limit the universe?” He had no answer like most atheist. I pray he comes to his senses before it becomes too late.
CHIVALRY–NOT ALL GIRLS LIKE IT. JUST THE ONES WORTH DYING FOR.
Report Post »Shane the Golden
Posted on May 9, 2011 at 9:30pmJust goes to show you, you live til you die, so LIVE IT UP!! Like Mr. Miller said, do what stimulates your mind and gives you enjoyment. Life is too short to be spent worrying, fussing and fighting and just generally fretting.
Report Post »May God rest his soul and bring peace to his daughters and widow.
BurntHills
Posted on May 9, 2011 at 9:27pmdear man. God bless him.
Report Post »Lucent
Posted on May 9, 2011 at 9:24pmThe suffering of others serve to remind us of our blessings.
Report Post »adouglass1
Posted on May 9, 2011 at 9:23pmHow sad!!
Report Post »biohazard23
Posted on May 9, 2011 at 9:20pmR.I.P. Sincere condolences to his family, friends, and loved ones.
Report Post »Showtime
Posted on May 9, 2011 at 9:18pmHe put more into life and people’s lives than he took out of it. Remarkable, and a sad loss for those who knew him and for his family.
Report Post »Rob
Posted on May 9, 2011 at 9:17pmCancer sucks.
Report Post »BetterDays
Posted on May 9, 2011 at 9:31pmAnd how, I’m a 3x survivor in remission for two plus years thank GOD!
Report Post »Professional Infidel
Posted on May 9, 2011 at 10:51pmwonder of wonders betterdays, congratulations and keep fighting
Report Post »MrCommonSense
Posted on May 9, 2011 at 9:13pmFor the Grace of God go I………
Report Post »Showtime
Posted on May 9, 2011 at 10:45pmI think we say, “But for the grace of God go I…”
Report Post »Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra
Posted on May 9, 2011 at 11:46pmHey Showtime.
Report Post »How is My Sacred Honor, I havent heard from him and no response on Facebook. Is everything OK?
VIKINGDAWG88
Posted on May 9, 2011 at 9:10pmSad.
Report Post »VIKINGDAWG88
Posted on May 9, 2011 at 9:12pmDear Blaze,
Please change the comments so it shows the most recent at the top. Nobody wants to scroll through 1,000 comments to see the most recent one.
BetterDays
Posted on May 9, 2011 at 9:30pmThat’s been requested 1,317,998 times now, yes I’m counting. Sadly you can easily observe how much the staff at the Blaze cares about doing so.
Report Post »Dustyluv
Posted on May 9, 2011 at 9:38pmUpset that you arent first? Get over it…
Report Post »Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra
Posted on May 9, 2011 at 9:46pmJust keep reporting those comments above you, you will soon rise to the top.
Report Post »sing it out
Posted on May 9, 2011 at 9:50pmI think it should be a youtube-style comment section, with most recent at the top and it should also be easier to reply to a specific post, rather than weeding through all the post attached to the first post where everyone tries to pile on! And have an email notification when someone replies to your post… again, like on youtube.
Report Post »Professional Infidel
Posted on May 9, 2011 at 10:11pmBetterdays, they don’t read the blaze, they write it!!
Report Post »TheGreyPiper
Posted on May 9, 2011 at 10:27pmSome blogs I know have it as an option, whether to list oldest first or newest first.
Report Post »And yes, get rid of the pop-out. I know how to find the next story.
Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra
Posted on May 9, 2011 at 9:08pmSad. He did unfriend Obama before he died though.
Report Post »banjarmon
Posted on May 9, 2011 at 9:17pmGod Be with his family for he is with God.
Report Post »grandmaof5
Posted on May 9, 2011 at 9:27pmIt does beg one to wonder how treatment in the US might have prolonged his life wilth early diagnosis. How very very sad for his family. The US has the greatest medical facilities and treatments in the world and Obamacare is doing its best to turn us into Derek K Miller. God bless the US and save us from this administration.
Report Post »sissykatz
Posted on May 9, 2011 at 9:28pmVery sad indeed. May the Good Lord Be with his Family and friends during this time. I pray we will find a cure for cancer soon. I have lost so many family and friends to this horrible disease. May he rest in peace finally.
Report Post »Snowleopard {gallery of cat folks}
Posted on May 9, 2011 at 10:06pmHe now rests in peace; God keep his soul in your hands, and comfort his family and friends in this time of trial ahead; let their tears be outshown by the joy he brought into their lives, and the love of him and from him stay in their hearts to replace the sorrow and grief of the moment.
Grandmaof5:
You are right, this will be the future of the greatest medical system the world knows of under the insane laws of Obamacare. I just got back a hour ago from the ER with a massive athsma attack from a pesticide someone sprayed in the area, and the fact is, without the doc’s to help, it could have been end game for me as well.
Report Post »Professional Infidel
Posted on May 9, 2011 at 10:07pmIt’s in the cards for us all. Interesting, I wonder if this is to make me feel bad, (bad way to die) or good, (cause he is at peace now) nobody promised us we would die in our sleep!! Get your mind right like he did!!
Report Post »Svt4Him
Posted on May 9, 2011 at 10:08pmMy father went to the States after finding out he had cancer and learned that our cancer treatment in Vancouver is amazing. I will know Wed if I have to use it.
Report Post »moriarty70
Posted on May 9, 2011 at 10:16pm@SVT4HIM
Report Post »Careful, anytime a Canadian defends the health care system they get piled on. As much as I feel the need to defend the system that’s taken care of me my whole life, I’ve just chalked it up to partisan BS.
sbeejustsaying
Posted on May 9, 2011 at 10:27pmto Darmak and Jalad @ Tanagra
Stop it already.
Report Post »Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra
Posted on May 9, 2011 at 10:40pmThat’s alright, someone keeps reporting this post, probably just someone who is wanting to raise his post to number one.
Report Post »MEESHEL
Posted on May 9, 2011 at 10:46pmI’m always torn between being able to have the time to prepare for death or simply die. There are times when many many days go by before I remember to look around and appreciate what life has offered me. My heart goes out to this man and to his family.
@Darmok
Report Post »He defriended Obama? Then he truly did see — and follow — the light…
D0ntTread0nMe
Posted on May 9, 2011 at 10:56pmGod speed young man. You were taken too soon.
Report Post »zteater
Posted on May 9, 2011 at 11:21pmGRANDMAOF5/DARMOK AND JALAD AT TANAGRA
Really guys? Using the tragic death of a husband and father to propagate dissent for Obamacare?
This is neither place nor medium for such things. Come on guys, use your heads…
WWJD
Report Post »silentwatcher
Posted on May 10, 2011 at 12:10amWe all start dying the day we are born,,,,,but it’s a sad thing to have it come early….farewell brother.
Report Post »Miami
Posted on May 10, 2011 at 12:24amSad is the lose a human being at the height of his life, had he had access to the crappy American healthcare system he’d still be alive…and yet the liberal morons want to bring this slow, overworked, inefficient bureaucracy to our world. Numbers don’t lie, when it comes to saving lives we have the best medical system in the world. It’s expensive because it works…!
If money is the bottom line we can turn to a system that kills everyone over 41? Just think how poor the world would be, how many inventions and creations would not exist.
Sooner or later we all get older and a lot of my best thinking has come the wiser and older I’ve become.
Report Post »Miami
Posted on May 10, 2011 at 12:27amzteaterReally
guys? Using the tragic death of a husband and father to propagate dissent for Obamacare?
———————————————————————
The tragedy is that the Canadian medical system let him die…
Report Post »KingArthurUp
Posted on May 10, 2011 at 12:33amwho is Odumba?
Report Post »carnifex
Posted on May 10, 2011 at 1:02amMy father was just recently diagnosed with lung cancer. He got his first chemo treatment last week, and he gets his first radiation today. I myself had a tumor several years ago that almost killed me. It turned out to be non-cancerous, but it was the longest week in my life, laying in the hospital, waiting for the biopsy results. Cancer is a scourge. My condolences for his family, and hopefully they’ll find some cure, somehow. Not gonna bash Obama or the Muslims in this post. Cancer touches too many people and is too serious to politicize.
CHIVALRY–NOT ALL GIRLS LIKE IT. JUST THE ONES WORTH DYING FOR.
Report Post »AzDebi
Posted on May 10, 2011 at 1:15am@Snowleopard:
Report Post »“…I just got back a hour ago from the ER with a massive athsma attack from a pesticide someone sprayed in the area, and the fact is, without the doc’s to help, it could have been end game for me as well.”
__________________
God speed my friend…Hope you are feeling better…I too have those kinds of reactions to certain pesticides…very similar to anaphylaxis…frightening…I NEVER stray without a rescue inhaler! Feel better!
grandmaof5
Posted on May 10, 2011 at 7:10amSNOW, so sorry to hear that!!!!! It has been a rough spring for respiatory problems as I have used my rescue inhaler more this year than in the past. I hope things will get better for you (and SISSYKATZ) soon. Any new art? Hope kitty is good.
Report Post »SISSYKATZ, hope all is well up there with you and the critters.
grandmaof5
Posted on May 10, 2011 at 7:34amSVT4HIM, will pray for you. Have a few friends in various stages of treatment and two waiting for a diagnosis too. Insipid disease. Keep us posted, pls, on how you are doing. Spent 10 days in BC and my son lived there for 10 yrs. – God’s country, for sure.
Report Post »grandmaof5
Posted on May 10, 2011 at 7:43amZTEATER, I guess it all depends on whether the glass is half full, or half empty. Apparently you are a ‘half empty’ kind of person, because I was praising the existing healthcare as the best in the world, not pitching dissidence for Obamacare – I am sure DARMOK was doing the same as that is the kind of person he/she is, too. Apparently you don‘t know us very well or you wouldn’t get so huffy.
Report Post »DIOS BENDIGA AMERICA ... JESUCRISTO ES EL SEÑOR!
Posted on May 10, 2011 at 8:33amMay his family be blessed of God.
Report Post »Guerrino_P
Posted on May 10, 2011 at 9:12am@GRANDMAOF5
Report Post »It‘s funny how the the US health system hasn’t diagnosed your early stages of dementia. You know absolutely nothing about the Canadian healthcare system.
grandmaof5
Posted on May 10, 2011 at 9:21amGUERRINO, never said it was bad, just said ours was the best. My son lived in BC for almost 12 years so I do know about their healthcare system, so thanks for your invalid assumption. I wonder if Natasha Richardson’s family feels the same?
Report Post »Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra
Posted on May 10, 2011 at 9:48am@Grandmaof5
Report Post »I do believe it is sad and you hit my feelings spot on, I was simply saying before he went, he seen the light and defriended Obama. Just a joke, so come on people, lighten up or you will get an ulcer.
I am a He by the way.
grandmaof5
Posted on May 10, 2011 at 10:22amDARMOK, I thought SHOWTIME told me that in one of her emails but couldn’t remember for sure. No ulcers here, or dementia for that matter…..altho, some days…..
Report Post »Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra
Posted on May 10, 2011 at 12:13pm@@Grandmaof5
Report Post »and I wasn’t directing the Ulcer comment to you, that is for the others that were a little bent about the comment. Cheers.
Sinista MACE
Posted on May 10, 2011 at 12:19pmMorbid.
And to think, all he had to do is eat 50 grams of primo hash oil and his cancer would have gone into autophagy, eating itself from the munchies.
Report Post »Hmschlmom
Posted on May 10, 2011 at 1:02pm@snowleopard…
I feel your pain on the asthma. Nebulizing as I type. I was hospitalized 2 days last week for this mess. Glad you are feeling better now!
Asthma reeks.
Report Post »grandmaof5
Posted on May 10, 2011 at 2:06pmIVANK, isn’t that a coincidence. On the off-line poll taken by daily Blazers, you were the one voted most likely to spend your pathetic life on the government dole, held down by a public education that has told you you will never be the best you can be, because only the government can fulfill your every need. So run along now and let the independent, common sense thinkers handle the problems. You, as always, can reap the benefits of our hard work and wealth, very similar to a parasite.
Report Post »