Media

Letterman Responds to Jihadist Threat With Hilarious ‘Who Hates Dave?’ List

On Monday night, “Late Show” host David Letterman made lemonade out of…jihadist lemons.

Responding to a slightly horrifying Islamist threat (our report last week covered radical Umar al-Basrawi‘s call for Letterman’s tongue to be cut out and, ultimately, for him to be murdered).

Rather than cowering in fear, the late night host decided to make light of the bizarre declaration. So, upon returning from his vacation, he unleashed his hilarious “Who hates Dave?” list. He quipped:

“Tonight, you people are…more than an audience. You’re more like a human shield.”

Then, he launched into a list of all of the people, in addition to this disgruntled jihadist, who simply can’t stand him:

Then, for his “Top 10” list, Letterman shared his first thoughts after hearing about the jihadist threat on his life. Here they are, in order:

10. Someone wants to silence me? Get in line.

9. Nothing says summer fun like a death threat.

8. Why is the staff in such a good mood?

7. Save me, Oprah.

6. Should I wear my Kevlar hairpiece?

5. And here I thought nobody watched the show.

4. How can someone be so angry at a time when Kim Kardashian is so happy?

3. Some people get Emmy nominations; some people get death threats.

2. This seems like (Jay) Leno’s handiwork.

1. Oh my God! They canceled the George Lopez Show

At least the comedian is laughing rather than panicking, right?

Comments (81)

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  • nelan72
    Posted on August 23, 2011 at 1:17pm

    Message to Dave: How do you know you do not have a Jihadist in the band? You might try canceling your show.

    Report Post »  
  • igetit
    Posted on August 23, 2011 at 1:15pm

    Can’t stand Dave but love that he is standing up to those bastards. Unfortunately no one cut out Mohammad’s tongue. Civilization would have been much better off. I understand Mo was illiterate, like so many of the radical islamists, so he couldn’t have written down all the crap these people believe.

    Report Post »  
    • SavingtheRepublic.com
      Posted on August 23, 2011 at 1:24pm

      ~~^^~~^^~~
      Same here I am no fan of Dave, use to be years ago before he got all miserable and out of the progressive closet, but I love how he is making joke of mooslum threats! He is taking the power away from them by directly confronting their threat and turning them into a big joke. Can you imagine how enraged those mooslum extremists are right now?! Nothing like taking the steam out of their childish cult rants. http://SavingtheRepublic.com

      Report Post » SavingtheRepublic.com  
    • db321
      Posted on August 23, 2011 at 2:10pm

      I agree expose these nut cases as how they are, but try not to upset Obama

      Report Post » db321  
    • FantaGirl
      Posted on August 23, 2011 at 5:27pm

      Please do not say such things. I am Islamic, and I am very conservative. Muhammad was a peaceful person who never fought once in his life. I do not see why you should discredit all Muslims for something power-hungry people in the Middle East are doing. These people for some reason believe that God will welcome them into the Golden Gates of Heaven by becoming a martyr. This is not what all Muslims believe. I myself am a conservative, and I know that I definitely do not believe in becoming a killer in order to go to heaven. In fact, If you took a peaceful Muslim and a Christian you would find that the religions are very similar. I study both. Now that you are informed, please do not make such comments when you are not.

      FantaGirl  
    • Sy Kosys
      Posted on August 23, 2011 at 6:08pm

      @fantagirl

      Respectfully, if those that hold your religious beliefs would *actually* stand up to these b@stards hijacking an entire religion, if the ‘peaceful Islamic world’ would actually take a damn stand and be vocal/outspoken against this bastardization, then maybe just maybe such insanity and vileness would be that much more quickly exposed and defeated for the fraud and violent nature it is.

      “Reasonable” people decry and defy this nonsense….why wont the BILLION-PLUS Muslims that *ARE* peaceful?

      Report Post » Sy Kosys  
    • commandojoe
      Posted on August 23, 2011 at 8:30pm

      @fantagirl… I hope you’re just ignorant, and not blatantly lying.

      Muhammad was most certainly not peaceful, reportedly taking both Medina and Mecca by force. Before attacking Mecca he and his tribesmen repeatedly attacked caravans for both prophet and intelligence. By multiple historical accounts he was actually a talented leader and tactician. Now opinions certainly vary on the Koran dictating the subjugation of Jews and Christians, but enough of your fellow Muslims seem to believe it. Because of that, we now have Muslim wars raging in Africa and Asia, and Muslim rioters on the streets of Europe (France and England in particular). Historically, Christianity certainly has its atrocities, but it pales in comparison to the atrocities committed in the name of Islam on an almost daily basis.

      So my friend, you might want to go somewhere else to chide people about their “ignorance” of Islam. Your own bias shows through. I know Islam well. I’ve seen it and fought it. And maybe that wasn’t the “true Islam,” but if not, the true Islam needs to get it’s crap together soon, because from here it looks like the radicals are running the show.

      Report Post »  
    • teddrunk
      Posted on August 23, 2011 at 9:19pm

      After this m aggot Dave attacked the Palin kids, I‘m not so sure who I’m rooting for in this time, the American hating deviant attacker of children, or the America hating deviant attacker of children.

      Report Post »  
    • shrinkwraped
      Posted on August 23, 2011 at 9:19pm

      To the Islamic guy defending the big MO. He preached hate: kill the infidels and all that. Kill anyone who leaves the religion. Beat women into submission. Oh yea, had sex with an 8 year old he “married.” Please excuse me for not being a big fan.

      Report Post »  
    • VastRightWingConspirator
      Posted on August 24, 2011 at 1:32am

      @fantagirl

      Sorry, but there are just way too many passages in the Quran that say otherwise. I wish I was versed enough to give you exact references, but it’s not necessary since Muslims will tell you themselves. But, if you can’t find any to tell you there are many places you can search for yourself just google it or actually read the book. From the multiple passages I have personally read I wonder how there could possibly be a peaceful Muslim unless of course they are non-practicing: kind of like Obama’s Christian beliefs. Actually, I‘m glad I’m not versed on the Quran or Koran or whichever is correct, it just seems too demented. If you are truly a Muslim I would have to think you are either not paying attention to the religion you claim to follow, once again like Obama, or you are using the verse that says it’s okay for Muslims to lie to infidels: yeah it’s in there. Some book. Oh, and I won’t ever be paying your infidel tax, you’ll have to use the verse that says to strike at my throat.

      Sorry, I just refuse to be one of the mindless that pretends the rediculously named (religion of peace) is not a giant puddle of hate.

      Report Post » VastRightWingConspirator  
    • FantaGirl
      Posted on August 24, 2011 at 7:44am

      First off, I would like to say thank you for serving our country. Secondly, if that is what you believe then I will let that be. I have no intention of a quarrel. I do not believe in the subjugation of any other people, nor do I agree that Muhammad took Mecca and Medina by force. The Qu’ran has never said anything about this, so I do not know where places like Wikipedia are getting their information. During the Hijra, He was fasting, and so were his followers, so I do not know how he or they would be able to fight.

      Report Post » FantaGirl  
  • Mustangdave
    Posted on August 23, 2011 at 1:15pm

    and…we care how much? Letterman isn’t even THAT funny…

    Report Post » Mustangdave  
    • Grace1798
      Posted on August 24, 2011 at 7:28am

      I agree with your post. He’s just a big mouthed adolescent.

      Report Post » Grace1798  
  • Attention2Detail
    Posted on August 23, 2011 at 1:11pm

    I used to watch Letterman defore he went to late night. He was very funny then. After the move he got lazy and went with the political cheap shot and was no longer funny. This was old style Letterman. I guess a death threat is easy humor.

    Report Post » Attention2Detail  
  • DiscoDave
    Posted on August 23, 2011 at 1:05pm

    I tuned out on Letterman years ago.

    Its also very good news that George Lopez has been cancelled.

    Dave did more for comedy and managed to entertain from time to time despite his political views. George’s show was pure leftist propaganda machine.

    -Dave

    Report Post »  
    • SavingtheRepublic.com
      Posted on August 23, 2011 at 1:28pm

      Ya know I like Lopez old ABC family show it was quite entertaining. I even tolerated some of his standup stuff but when he starts with the racial garbage I was done. He is a lot like Chris Rock throwing the racial bombs and always getting away with it. Then there was his praises of Emperor Obama and I couldnt take it. I never watched his talk show as a result of the racial and liberal bias that consumed him.

      Report Post » SavingtheRepublic.com  
    • Brad Wesselmann
      Posted on August 23, 2011 at 4:57pm

      Yeah, but Chris Rock is an equal opportunity comic…nobody is safe AND THAT is why he is funny!!

      Report Post » Brad Wesselmann  
    • mdb749
      Posted on August 23, 2011 at 6:46pm

      Who’s George Lopez????

      Report Post » mdb749  
  • JLGunner
    Posted on August 23, 2011 at 1:00pm

    This was actually a funny clip. It’s been a long time since I laughed about anything that has come out of Daves mouth.

    Report Post » JLGunner  
  • eat-more-bacon-USA
    Posted on August 23, 2011 at 12:59pm

    “HILARIOUS”? Uh, no. Would it not be simpler and quicker to list those who “LIKE” This idiot rather than listing those who “HATE” him? It is hard to believe that this sad excuse for entertainment is still on the air or that any thinking person could find him “HILARIOUS”.

    Report Post » eat-more-bacon-USA  
    • BobFromMontCo
      Posted on August 23, 2011 at 1:28pm

      Comedy is wasted on you my friend. Just because you hate his political views doesn‘t mean you can’t appreciate his humor, especially when it’s funny.

      Report Post »  
    • Chuck Stein
      Posted on August 23, 2011 at 4:18pm

      Sorry, dude, but it WAS funny. Not like I’m going to start watching his show again or anything like that, though.

      Report Post »  
  • mdlwoods
    Posted on August 23, 2011 at 12:57pm

    I don’t mind Dave and enjoy his humor, so long as he stays away from politics. He is a great host and conducts great, humerous interviews with celebrities so long as they stay away from politics!

    Report Post » mdlwoods  
    • AlansTigg
      Posted on August 23, 2011 at 2:51pm

      sooo….you’re saying politics are the problem?

      Report Post » AlansTigg  
  • Captain Crunch
    Posted on August 23, 2011 at 12:54pm

    You have to admit, he can offend anyone and somebody always laughs.
    He needs to pack some heat and use the psuedo name Pistol Packin Dave.

    Report Post »  
  • Anonymous T. Irrelevant
    Posted on August 23, 2011 at 12:50pm

    Add me to that list.

    Report Post » Anonymous T. Irrelevant  
  • BeyondFedup
    Posted on August 23, 2011 at 12:47pm

    Oh yes, the religion f peace.

    Report Post » BeyondFedup  
    • INOGAWD
      Posted on August 23, 2011 at 1:55pm

      Kudos to Dave, for standing up to these Jihad Pigs..
      Lock and Load with Bacon Bullets……………

      Report Post » INOGAWD  
  • Conservophiliac
    Posted on August 23, 2011 at 12:46pm

    Funny stuff. Dave is funny and always has been despite his ridiculous political views. The Bourne series of movie are also VERY good movies even though Matt Damon is a pseudo-intellectual moron.

    Report Post » Conservophiliac  
    • Fly Old Glory 24/7 365
      Posted on August 23, 2011 at 12:54pm

      I’ll agree with you on your post except for one thing, Dave is no longer funny….
      I watched this guy religiously from day one and have not been able to watch him for several years now. He is no longer funny. This particular list is funny. This is the old Dave.

      Report Post »  
    • inthedesert
      Posted on August 23, 2011 at 1:14pm

      I agree with Fly Old Glory, Dave used to be funny. I laughed at him when he did the weather in Indianapolis, but have never liked his show. My husband and I laughed at this. More people need to stand up to what is going on. Dave did.

      Report Post » inthedesert  
  • Stoic one
    Posted on August 23, 2011 at 12:45pm

    Well at least ONE liberal has a spine. Maybe the white house could make Letterman the spine czar. I am sure congress won’t mind.

    Report Post » Stoic one  
    • Newsy
      Posted on August 24, 2011 at 12:10am

      Stoic
      No, No, NO. We can’t afford another $100,000 a year dummy up there.

      Report Post »  
  • RETIREDOLDGUY
    Posted on August 23, 2011 at 12:44pm

    This world would be better off WITHOUT clowns like Letterman.

    Report Post »  
  • TRONINTHEMORNING
    Posted on August 23, 2011 at 12:43pm

    Nice to see some folks on this site admits when they can laugh at funny things. God made humour so enjoy it–it’s great medicine for the soul.

    Report Post »  
  • ofallon
    Posted on August 23, 2011 at 12:42pm

    Dave is a scream. He is courageous for sure. I might even watch his show.

    Report Post »  
  • samnjoeysgrama
    Posted on August 23, 2011 at 12:39pm

    So if the jihadists are successful, will this be Israel’s fault…somehow? I didn’t actually watch the clip or the show, since Letterman makes me nauseous, but I’m sure it was just as funny as he usually is.

    Report Post » samnjoeysgrama  
  • Rayblue
    Posted on August 23, 2011 at 12:37pm

    Humor escapes him.

    Report Post » Rayblue  
  • BlackCrow
    Posted on August 23, 2011 at 12:36pm

    Real funny Dave

    I have always believed it would be the liberal elite who would be the first to feel Islamic steel at their necks so don’t be suprised. As for me they will have a more difficult time.

    Report Post » BlackCrow  
  • exfire
    Posted on August 23, 2011 at 12:34pm

    I have the same respect of this moron as I do for the stuff I scrape off of the bottom of my shoe !

    Report Post »  
  • cmaczko
    Posted on August 23, 2011 at 12:33pm

    never watch letterman anymore, but this was entertaining! ;)

    Report Post »  
  • whatisay
    Posted on August 23, 2011 at 12:32pm

    I’ve never found Letterman to be funny, but his strategy is probably the best one. He, and all us, should be asking why Obama doesn’t step up the the pulpit he commands and condemn Muslim violence and threats of violence.

    Report Post »  
  • wewantchillywilly
    Posted on August 23, 2011 at 12:32pm

    i think that’s pretty good.

    Report Post »  
  • TRONINTHEMORNING
    Posted on August 23, 2011 at 12:31pm

    I found it very funny.

    Report Post »  
    • loriann12
      Posted on August 23, 2011 at 12:39pm

      I also found it funny. Either he’s handling it with a sense of humor (that’s the only way to handle life) or he‘s not worried because it’s a publicity stunt, or, he‘s just using it for more publicity and he’s already beefed up his security force.

      Report Post »  
  • randy
    Posted on August 23, 2011 at 12:23pm

    what a disgusting piece of crap……

    Report Post » randy  
    • hoopojoop
      Posted on August 23, 2011 at 1:06pm

      That’s not fair to any pieces of crap that might read this blog.

      Report Post »  
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