Crime
Man Robs Store With Tree Branch; Clerk Defends Himself With Hammer
- Posted on December 31, 2010 at 7:37am by
Jonathon M. Seidl
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Since this is the last day of the year, I’m going to go ahead and nominate this video for funniest robbery video of 2010. What you are about to see is nothing short of downright ridiculous. A robber storms into a convenience story wielding a large tree branch. The clerk pulls out a hammer to defend himself. The robber proceeds to try and poke said clerk with large tree branch. The footage shows the comical standoff between the two, and also features the robber wearing plastic bags on his feet:
(via Gawker)
The attack happened in Virginia:
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Comments (99)
Sergio Q
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 10:45amBaaaaa HaHa Haaaaaa Ha Ha Haa… wouldda been nice if the Clerk could have bashed the idiots skull in.
Report Post »~~SOMEBODY pleeeeease try and rob me with a branch!
patriotmcgee
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 10:39amThere is no way I’d be working at a place like that without a Springfield XD backing me up.
Report Post »Ronko
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 10:34amNow this is a new one using a tree branch to rob a store. I hope they catch the robber
Report Post »TRUTHSEEKINGAL
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 1:02pmHeadline’;Hammered Eco-terrorist bagged! Store owner plans to purchase a chipper for security.”
Report Post »Bluebonnet
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 2:34pmJust look for a guy running down the street with a tree branch and plastic bags over his shoes.
Report Post »Hefsmaster
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 9:52amI used a tree branch last summer to help guide my serpentine belt on while stuck at the auto parts store. But it was to small to rob anyone with.
Report Post »patchouli42
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 9:40amHe should have thrown the hammer.
Report Post »Speak without Fear
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 9:29amFor the safety of all………OUTLAW tree branches……….IMMEDIATELY. Also outlaw…stores…..if there wasn’t any stores…..it would prevent thugs from robbing, stealing, murdering.
It only makes sense……..to a liberal progressive IDIOT!
Report Post »Ialmostforgot
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 9:54amyes, outlaw tree branches. One fell in the road and wrecked my car once.
Report Post »psst
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 9:25amAt least the robber was a naturalist.
Report Post »It’s kinda nice that some people are moving away from all the man-made products.
Ever ate a tree branch? many parts are good for you. The late naturalist, Euell Gibbons used to say that about eating parts of Pine trees.
But what da hey. A tree is a tree is a tree.
AR485
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 9:22amHe obviously hasn’t learned to walk quietly yet.
Report Post »NancyBee
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 10:43amFunny……………..I kept trying to think of that quote….Walk softly and carry a big stick……..who said that?
Report Post »Bluebonnet
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 2:26pmI think it’s “Speak softly and carry a big stick” Teddy Roosevelt
Report Post »AR485
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 9:21amI wonder if they’ll try to outlaw trees now.
Report Post »Bluebonnet
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 2:10pmYes, when they outlaw trees, only outlaws will have trees. Bang, Bang
Report Post »stmike
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 9:05amWell I guess Einstein was wrong when he said we would use sticks and stones AFTER world war III because clearly WWIII hasn’t happened yet.
Report Post »koyettsu
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 9:00amAre you kidding me? Where was this guys gun, had he had a gun where the hammer was this would not have happened.
Report Post »byehlik
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 8:59amIf I were tending the store, with my trusty .45. My first action taken to the guy with the stick would be ask “Are-you-serious?“ My second action after getting a ”yes” response whould have been to put some well placed holes in the fool!
Report Post »Ialmostforgot
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 8:40amSticks and stones will break your bones……. but not this time.
Report Post »Ialmostforgot
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 8:41am…..or rob a store!
Report Post »byehlik
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 8:35amMaybe the guy with the stick should go to Canada and meet up with the musket guy. To freaking funny. They can start a gang called, inept crime inc, or ICI.
Report Post »WAR PIGS CRAWLING
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 8:27amNever bring a hammer to a tree branch fight….
Report Post »patriot4evah
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 9:46amHaha!
Report Post »Bluebonnet
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 2:38pmIt does seem a bit primitive like hunters from “Clan of the Cave Bears” Oh well, outlaw them.
Report Post »concealyour9mm
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 8:27amOne more reason to conceal your 9mm. Double tap and one to the few brains this idiot has. The only problem the store owner would have is clean up…a small price to pay to save your life.
Report Post »byehlik
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 8:25amUmmm???? Is this serious? Did this really happen? Everyone in this epesode is a few cans short of a six pack. A stick? My what an awsomely dangerous stick you have there! That is quite the offensive weapon isn’t it. LOL! The gene pool needs a serious clensing. Lookout, he is going to “poke” you if you don’t hand over the loot. Now big brother is going to have to have legislation for sweeping stick control. LOL We are in trouble here. Be Prepaired!
Report Post »Islesfordian
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 8:34amRight, because it’s impossible to harm anyone with a three inch wide six foot long wooden staff. Wood is as soft as playdough. Everyone knows that.
A disgusting post by Blaze, followed by stupid callous comments here.
Report Post »grandmaof5
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 8:46amISLESFORDIAN, aren’t we the rightous one. An amusing story since no one was maimed or killed for a change and there can’t be fun polked at it. You should really lighten up before you give yourself a stroke. Some of these comments are down right comical!
Report Post »Islesfordian
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 8:56amThe store owner was injured and robbed. That makes it less amusing to me.
But maybe I’m just wierd. Maybe we should be laughing at innocent people being assaulted because it happens it “funny” ways.
I’m sure if a man had a shorter stick and threatened to beat a young girl to death unless she lie still while he assaulted her that would be even funnier, because it would be a smaller stick. Ha ha.
Report Post »SlimnRanger
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 10:58amThe theif watched the movie Walking Tall,“speak softly and carry a big stick”
Report Post »NickDeringer
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 8:24amIn more Important news: man takes over America using nothing but an empty suit. MSM yawns in outrage.
Report Post »JimOhio
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 9:43amNow that is FUNNY! It could be also be stated that the empty suit commited a hate crime.
Report Post »psst
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 10:53amNick.
Report Post »That was funny.
And also true.
Islesfordian
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 8:22am“comical standoff”? Really Blaze? You find assault funny? I’m sure that store owner was thinking how funny it all was at the time.
Report Post »MAXIMUS_MARIUSZ
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 9:06amAgreed. Yes, no one was injured but the very fact that this man was put in this potentially life threatening situation is a severe shock to your body. Nothing funny about it. However, if the store owner pulls out a pistol and blows this guys head off, now THAT would be worth watching.
Report Post »Islesfordian
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 9:17amThe store owner WAS injured, just not seriously. I agree that if he had pulled out a gun that would have given the story an amusing quality.
What shocks and saddens me is that so few really seem capable of empathy here. Perhaps they have never been assaulted and don’t know how traumatic it can be. I looked at that video and saw an old man fighting in fear for his life.
I do wonder what Glenn is thinking about The Blaze. The subject and tenor of the stories has been relebtlessly and needlessly provacative and, now, cruel. It’s beginning to look like the Circus Maximus. Quite ironic, really.
Report Post »mtnclimberjim
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 9:38amISLES
Report Post »Stop being a mamby pamby little lib *****. Get over yourself and go save a tree or something. Geesh
Islesfordian
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 9:44amIt’s people like you who give conservatism a bad name. You probably think being a man is being able to beat people up rather than lay down your life defending others. Maybe you think Juses was a *****.
In my mind you are nothing but a blustering psuedo-conservative. Your heart is liberal. As soon as conservatism gets uncomfortable to you, starts to cost you something, you’ll bail. I know your kind.
Report Post »StMichelob
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 9:44amNo, I just look at this and think how pathetic people are that they don’t have the sack to defend themselves. Had I been the clerk…well, first I would have giggled in stunned disbelief, then I would have beaten that guy with his own stick until I got tired. THEN I would have called the cops. And that’s even IF I had a gun behind the counter…
Report Post »mtnclimberjim
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 10:00amISLES
Report Post »You are the problem. You will not survive. Get out of your own way. See, the problem with you whacked out libs is that you think you know. When in fact you are suffering from a mental retardation.. I would never have misspelled our Lord Jesus’s name ya creep.
StMichelob
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 10:51amIsles, you almost have me convinced. However, I HAVE been in his shoes, kinda, and I didn’t bow to the ones who were robbing me. I in fact took the first one down with a well-place shin-kick to his sciatic nerve.
Report Post »Also, I don’t believe in victimhood at all. If you allow something to happen because you believe you are being protected somehow, then whatever happens happens.
I will give you this, and maybe we can agree: this is funny because no one was hurt, Well, I’ll concede to not call it funny, just bizaar enough to make you laugh at it.HOWEVER, if the shop owner WAS hurt, then it ceases to be laughable at all, like your previous example of a man using a smaller stick on a girl. It’s all about the degree of the outcome, in any situation.
mtnclimberjim
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 11:00amThe reason Hajji didn‘t have a gun is because he’s here illegal.
Report Post »StMichelob
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 11:08amI’ll give you an example. I worked in a liquor store owned by an Idian guy who kept a gun behind the counter. The store was in a bad neighborhood surrounded by businesses being robbed all the time. Everyone KNEW he had the gun, because he would cooly pull it on shoplifters all the time. I would close at night and count out $2,000 or so behind the counter in the open, with the doors still open, and the pistol right beide the money. NOT ONCE in the 4 years it had been openned had even an ATTEMPT been made to rob the place.
Coincidence? I think not.
Semper Fi and God save the Second Amendment!
Report Post »Islesfordian
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 11:17amThe guy WAS defending himself. But he was clearly scared. I’m supposed to blame him for that? Look at the size difference between he and his attacker. And the guy was elderly. He suffered a minor injury, but at his age that could be more serious than it would be for you or me. I grew up believing that there are three classes of people that we should protect: children, women and the aged. I hope mtnclimberjim doesn‘t think that’s a ***** lib thing to think.
What bothers me is the coarsening of manners I see here. That is not what I coinsider manly or conservative. All my family and friends in active duty in the military show great gentleness and respect for others. It’s part of the discipline and morality of our soldiers. They would never laugh at others misfortune. they’ve seen enough of their own. Nor would they express the kind of nihilism that ridicules those who can’t defend themselves. That sounds to much like the fascist motto “the strong survive and the weak go to the wall”.
We will not survive as a nation if we do not do so with decency. Let the liberals deny decency and nobility. Let THEM wallow in hedonistic pleasure and self-centered greed. Let THEM debase themselves as human beings because they deny the will of God. As St. paul said “Their end is destruction for their god is their stomach”
I’m all for laughter at the absurd, and at fools getting their comeuppence. But I don’t laugh at evil inflicted on innocents. I saw that poor old man trying to fight off a bigger man who was threatening him bodily harm, and it made me mad. That it made others laugh makes me mad as well.
Report Post »Islesfordian
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 11:23am“The reason Hajji didn‘t have a gun is because he’s here illegal.”
Thanks mtnclimberjim, for confirming to me that I wasn’t just imagining things when I though there might be an element of douchebag racism in some of the reactions. We now know that there is in YOURS.
Report Post »davuf
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 12:28pmIf this had happened to me I would still be cracking jokes about it. You need to have a sense of humor in life. That being said thank god the criminal hadn’t chosen a knife; in which case the owner would be dead. For a violent assault this is a pretty good way for things to end up. It would be better if it had failed, good if they could catch the guy, but thank god there was no long term harm done. The owner should have put more thought into security ahead of time, but hindsight is 20/20 and he lived to learn the lesson.
Stop being so self righteous about the humor.
Report Post »davuf
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 12:35pm2 more notes.
If the criminal got shot it wouldn’t be funny it would be pathetically sad. I don’t generally find death funny; unless it is combat (because terrorists need to die) and then it depends…
2nd the illegal immigrant comment was out of line.
Report Post »mtnclimberjim
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 12:42pmFeels good to vent I guess. I must admit I love to push buttons and yank a few chains. I have been hardened as of late and I am sorry for venting on you. I also know that we really don’t know each other by what is said here. I tend to let my anger get the best of me and I say mean things. In reality we are on the same side. You obviously have far more compassion than I and I should work on that. It is folks like you that do help me see things in a more rational way. Lock and load pall, we’re in for a rough ride in the next few years and I will defend your rights to the death. Cheers
Report Post »Islesfordian
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 1:15pmAll’s forgiven. We all can fly off the handle some times and type from our spleens. I’ve done that before, abd I know that racist thoughts that I never had growing up seem to find a place in my skull these days. It‘s like it’s in the air waiting for someone to open up to it.
I’m sorry for striking back at you as well. You’re right. we don’t know each other. This medium I fear brings out the worst in people by robbing us of the personal contact that would remind us we are dealing with people rather than just obstacles. I find the same dynamic while driving.
And Davuf, I’m all for laughing at life, especially if it’s MY life. But I think it is respectful to wait until the victim laughs first and not presume to laugh at his injuries while he is still suffering. I apologize if that comes off self-righteous. I just saw that man and imagined if it were my father and I would not like people laughing off what was a traumatic thing for him
Report Post »SnapTie
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 8:21amThe guy was just living up to his family tree.
Report Post »lakemom
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 8:19amHmmm…time to ban trees since one was used in committing a crime. Oh, and hammers too, since one was used in defense from a crime.
Report Post »Hefsmaster
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 7:48amMust be mcgyver fans. Looks like a laurel and hardy skit.
Report Post »N37BU6
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 7:45amMan, everyone’s going green.
Report Post »grandmaof5
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 8:40amThat’s good! LOL
Report Post »RepubliCorp
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 9:16amThanks for the laugh!
Report Post »AR485
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 9:20amBahahaaa, the multi-layeringly funny!
Report Post »psst
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 9:28amAlso, the added benefit is the weapon is American made.
Report Post »Unless the criminal hauled that branch across the border.
Then again, I could be wrong. That branch could very well be communist Chinee made.
I heard they make tree branches much cheaper over there.
patriot4evah
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 9:47amLOL, seriously.. the post of the day!
Report Post »Xcori8r
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 10:10amThe only logical thing to do is ban branches.
Then the crazy right wingers will be saying things like “If branches are banned only criminals will have branches”, “Branches don’t kill, people kill“ and ”A limbed society is a polite society”.
Report Post »walkwithme1966
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 10:49amYeah – that was just too funny – http://maboulette.wordpress.com
Report Post »TexasCommonSense
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 7:45amBang! Problem solved, and the world is a better place with one less criminal.
Report Post »kreese
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 9:39amI agree—–he should call Smith & Wesson.
Report Post »grandmaof5
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 7:43amA gun would have done the trick and his shoulder would be just fine. May I suggest Appleseed Project to this store owner and soon he will be able to defend himself.
Report Post »guyperram
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 8:15amThe robber’s career will be short. This owner wasn’t able to defend himself. The next owner will pull out his pistol and put a couple of bullets into the idiot. I hope the next guy completes the job, no point in costing the taxpayers more money than is necessary.
Report Post »Cemoto78
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 9:11amToo bad the store owner couldn’t have dropped the hammer from a gun on this idiot and blow him right out of his shoes. Problem solved.
Report Post »MiketheTrucker
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 9:30amWhat an idiot, why would you bring a stick to a hammer fight?
Report Post »StMichelob
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 9:41amLMAO! at .35 the robber swings the stick and is stopped by the ceiling!
Report Post »Xcori8r
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 9:57amI keep thinking of the Raiders of the Lost Ark scene when Indy dispatched the big guy swinging a sword.
Report Post »Cobra Blue
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 10:04amOnly thing worse than a thief is a DUMB thief.
Report Post »Xcori8r
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 11:03amThis works a lot better if the wording is changed to a limb ban.
The only thing to do is to ban limbs. Then all the righties will be running around saying things like “If limbs are banned, only criminals will have limbs”, “Limbs don’t kill, people kill” and “A limbed society is a polite society”.
You will have to pry my limb from my cold dead branches.
It’s better to have a limb and not need it than to need a limb and not have it.”
Report Post »snowleopard3200 {cat folk art}
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 11:04amTree branch vs hot lead or hot steel (depending on the bullet type used)?
Hmm…”Give me the money, my tree branch is loaded and I…” (Blam, thud)
Yup pretty easy to see who the winner is.
Report Post »Creestof
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 11:25amFirst thing they need to do is take the hit on the advertising allowance they probably get for all the crap in their windows and tear it out. A more visible kill zone will give you more time to react and make robbing the location less desireable due to the possibility of being seen. Other than that, it seemed kinda kinky the way the robber popped some wood as he tree’d the employee behind the counter…but you have to hand it to the robber, he went out on a limb branching out like that…I‘d have been shaking like a leaf or bark’ing mad : )
Report Post »racialcoward
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 11:27amGUN, WHY DIDN’t HE HAVE A GUN?
Virginia is a gun state, that poor shop clerk should have had a gun.
Report Post »Bluebonnet
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 12:21pmThis assault just burns my backside. Folks, get a class for handling guns and get a permit if you
Report Post »work in a location or other likely place where assault could happen. Well, that could be anyplace, even your home (so don‘t open door until you know who’s there and keep doors locked.) Sad it has to be that way, but when they started banning guns, only criminals have guns, in this case, a tree trunk, so consider it all. I’m always aware and looking for anything suspicious or out of place. If you can’t carry a gun, carry a spray on key chain so it’s handy. Take defense classes. This poor store owner did a good job but needed a longer stick or throw things at him to distract him. Who knows?
docvet
Posted on December 31, 2010 at 4:11pmThe future with gun control. lllllllol
Report Post »Reagan/DeMint.deciple
Posted on January 1, 2011 at 9:21amWTF ?? I hate to laugh or anything but this IS funny… It looks like they invented an new kinda dance..
Report Post »Nut all jokes aside I‘m happy the man wasn’t seriously hurt and that business will go on as usual..