Parental Dilemma: Should You Spy on Your Kids?
- Posted on September 5, 2011 at 4:58pm by
Christopher Santarelli
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In the 21st century, parenthood and paranoia often walk hand in hand.
For some, the blessed event is followed by high-tech surveillance — a monitoring system tracks the baby’s breathing rhythms and relays infrared images from the nursery. The next investment might be a nanny cam, to keep watch on the child’s hired caregivers. Toddlers and grade schoolers can be equipped with GPS devices enabling a parent to know their location should something go awry.
To cope with the uncertainties of the teen years, some parents acquire spyware to monitor their children’s online and cell phone activity. Others resort to home drug-testing kits.
Added together, there’s a diverse, multi-billion-dollar industry seeking to capitalize on parents’ worst fears about their children — fears aggravated by occasional high-profile abductions and the dangers lurking in cyberspace. One mistake can put a child at risk or go viral online, quickly ruining a reputation.
“There’s a new set of challenges for parents, and all sorts of new tools that can help them do their job,” said David Walsh, a child psychologist in Minneapolis. “On the other hand, we have very powerful industries that create these products and want to sell as many as possible, so they try to convince parents they need them.”
Some parents need little convincing.
In New York City, a policeman-turned-politician recorded a video earlier this year offering tips to parents on how to search their children’s bedrooms and possessions for drugs and weapons.
In the video, State Sen. Eric Adams — who has a teenage son — insists that children have no constitutional right to privacy at home and shows how contraband could be hidden in backpacks, jewelry boxes, even under a doll’s dress.
“You have a duty and obligation to protect the members of your household,” he says.
Another parent who preaches proactive vigilance is Mary Kozakiewicz of Pittsburgh, whose daughter, Alicia, was abducted as a 13-year-old in 2002 by a man she met online. He chained, beat and raped her before she was rescued four days later.
In recent years, mother and daughter have both campaigned to raise awareness of Internet-related dangers.
Mary Kozakiewicz urges parents to monitor children’s computer and cell phone use, and says those who balk out of respect for privacy are being naive.
“It’s not about privacy — it’s about keeping them safe,” she said,
On a different part of the spectrum are parents such as Lenore Skenazy, a mother of two teens in New York City who wrote a book called “Free Range Kids: How To Raise Safe, Self-Reliant Children (Without Going Nuts with Worry).”
Skenazy, who let one of her sons ride the New York subway alone when he was 9, contends that many marketers exploit parents‘ ingrained worries about their children’s safety.
“The idea is that the only good parent is a parent who’s somehow watching over their child 24/7,” she said. “You feel nothing should take precedence over monitoring your child’s well-being every second of the day … from time they’re born to when they go off to college.”
Joe Kelly of St. Paul, Minn., helped his wife raise twin girls (they’re now adults) and founded a national advocacy group called Dads and Daughters. Like Skenazy, he bemoans commercial exploitation of parental anxiety.
“Markets play on this fear that something horrific is going to happen to your child, when the odds of that are minuscule,” he said. “It might happen, but to have their whole childhood predicated on this remote possibility is, in the aggregate, even more damaging.”
Psychologists who work with troubled adolescents and teens say parents often ask if they should be doing more surveillance.
“Ideally, parents establish good open communication and trust with their children, and they don’t need to do all these things,” said Neil Bernstein, a psychologist in Washington, D.C. “But if the child is doing something to create suspicion, you can’t expect parents to turn their back and not monitor.”
Bernstein, author of “How to Keep Your Teenager Out of Trouble and What to do if You Can’t,” says the best approach is a balanced one — neither overly zealous and paranoid nor uninvolved and neglectful.
A look at some of the monitoring tactics and products available to parents:
___
Baby monitors:
These devices — some limited to audio monitoring, others also with video capability — have developed a reputation as a mixed blessing. They can provide parents with peace of mind, freeing them to be elsewhere in the house while the baby naps, but sometimes they accentuate anxiety.
“Some parents are reassured by hearing and seeing every whimper and movement. Others find such close surveillance to be nerve-racking,” says Consumer Reports, which has tested many of the monitors.
Skenazy likened night-vision baby monitors to the surveillance cameras used by convenience stores and prisons.
“It‘s treating your child’s bedroom as if it’s the streets of Kandahar,” the battle-scarred Afghan city, she said.
The monitors operate within a selected radio frequency band to send sound from a baby’s room to a receiver in another room, a technology which can be vulnerable to interference from other electronic devices. Prices of models tested by Consumer Reports ranged from $30 for audio monitors to more than $200 for some with video.
“Overall, baby monitors can be as temperamental as a 2-year-old,” says Consumer Reports. “Interference is probably the biggest complaint, but parents also report such problems as low visibility, a shorter-than-expected reception range, and short battery life.”
Models at the high end of the price scale include the Dropcam Echo audio-video system, for $279. Its manufacturer says the system automatically detects motion and sound, and sends alerts to a parent’s smart phone or iPad.
Experts say baby monitors can provide a useful early warning if something is amiss, but caution that they should never substitute for adult supervision.
Parents are warned not to rely on monitors to prevent Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, and they should be sure that the monitors’ electrical cords are kept away from cribs. Earlier this year, about 1.7 million Summer Infant video monitors were recalled after being linked to the strangulation deaths of two infants.
___
Tracking devices:
Of the roughly 800,000 children reported missing in the U.S. each year, the vast majority are runaways or were abducted by a parent. But there are enough kidnappings by strangers — including a few each year that make national news — to fuel a large, evolving market for products catering to apprehensive parents.
The devices range from clip-on alarms to GPS locators that can be put in a backpack or stuffed in a doll, but they have limited range and can raise safety concerns of their own.
Ernie Allen, president of the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, says the devices can be helpful in some circumstances but worries about overreliance on them.
“Some of them encourage parents, perhaps unwittingly, to forget their basic responsibilities,” he said. “There are parents who think they can depend on the technology, not on themselves.”
He recounted the case of one little girl who activated her wristband alarm when she was abducted. The abductor cut off the device, left it behind and later killed the girl.
Allen said the child might have been better off yelling for help, rather than focusing on the alarm.
“Some of the new technology is extraordinary,” Allen said. “But these shouldn’t be used as substitutes for good old-fashioned parenting.”
Generally, the gadgets are in two parts — a main device carried by the parent and a small alarm attached to the child. If a child vanishes, the parent can activate the alarm.
Other gadgets use GPS technology, relying on satellite signals, that allows parents using a Web browser to track the location of an enabled device such as a cell phone.
One company, BrickHouse Security, offers a GPS child locater for $200 that functions as a digital watch and can be locked into the child’s wrist. If forcibly removed, an alert is sent to the parent’s cell phone and email.
Some anxious parents wonder if a satellite-enabled tracking device could be implanted in their child — a technology now expanding in Mexico among people rattled by a kidnapping epidemic there. But Allen says such implantation, for children, could have grim consequences — a child who ran away from home or a noncustodial parent who abducted a child might make a grisly attempt to extract the device.
___
Spyware:
For many parents, one of the toughest decisions is whether to spy on a child’s computer and cell phone activity. It’s common for some children to send more than 100 text messages a day, and a recent Associated Press-MTV poll found that about one-quarter of teens had shared sexually explicit photos, videos and chat by cell phone or online.
Walsh, the Minneapolis psychologist, says the best initial step for parents concerned about online risks is a heart-to-heart talk with the child, with monitoring used as a contingency measure only if there’s clear justification.
“If it does make sense to use some spyware, I would never do that in secret way,” said Walsh, whose own three children are now adults. “Tell your children you’ll check on them from time to time. Just that knowledge can be effective.”
Mary Kozakiewicz disagrees, saying deployment of spyware must be kept secret.
“You can‘t let them know it’s there, or they‘ll do it at a friend’s house,” she said.
Indeed, one of the challenges for some parents is a technology gap — their children may have more savvy about cyberspace and an ability to thwart various spyware tactics.
“Parents are trying to play catch up — and it’s a highly fragmented, confusing sector,” said Keith Jarrett of the AmberWatch Foundation, a nonprofit based in Seal Beach, Calif., dedicated to protecting children against abduction and “the dangers of the digital world.”
AmberWatch promotes various safety devices and technologies, including SafeText — a system enabling parents, for $5 a month, to monitor their children’s text-messaging. The system sends alerts when it detects potentially dangerous or inappropriate text messages, so the parents don’t have to review vast numbers of messages themselves.
Another enterprise, Software4Parents, reviews and sells a range of spyware products. Its Web site features a comment by Mary Kozakiewicz after her abducted daughter was rescued.
“No matter how you feel about your child or how trusting you are that what’s going on is innocent, check it, check it and double check it – or don’t have (the Internet) at all,” Kozakiewicz warns.
Among the site’s featured products are Spector PRO and eBlaster, for sale at $99, and touted as ways way to monitor online chats, instant messages and emails.
“Receive complete transcripts of the web sites they visit, keystrokes they type and more — all delivered right to your email inbox,” the site says.
Several spyware brands, including Mobile Spy and MobiStealth, now offer systems that work with Android, Google’s operating system for mobile phones, ranging in price from $100 to $150 per year.
The software “gives you complete control over your child’s cell phone,” says MobiStealth.
Dr. Henry Gault, who practices child and adolescent psychiatry in Deerfield, Ill., says parents who spy on their children “are walking down a slippery slope” and may end up causing worse problems than the ones that prompted the surveillance.
“That should be the course of last resort,” he said. “Essentially you‘re throwing in the towel and saying there’s no trust anymore.”
He suggested it’s normal for children try to keep some secrets from their family.
“Parents shouldn‘t feel guilty not knowing 100 percent of what’s going on,” he said. “It’s our job as parents to reduce risk, but you can never reduce the risk to zero.”
___
Home drug tests:
Compared to tracking and spyware gadgets, home drug testing kits are relatively low-tech and inexpensive. But they raise tricky issues for parents, who may be torn between alienating their child on the one hand and living with unresolved doubts about possible drug abuse on the other.
David Walsh directed an adolescent treatment program earlier in his career and says the at-home tests can be appropriate when parents have solid reason for suspicion.
“When a son or daughter is getting seriously into drugs, one dynamic of that is denial,” he said. “The stakes are so high. Parents can say, ‘We need to make sure you’re not doing serious damage to yourself. We might occasionally test you.’”
In Colorado Springs, Colo., single mother Amanda Beihl was among the first to carve out a business from Internet sales of test kits, starting in 1999.
Beihl created homedrugtestingkit.com, selling kits to test for illicit drugs and alcohol use. Individual kits testing for a single drug cost as little as $3; a 10-substance kit sells for $19.95.
It’s an ever-evolving field, Beihl says, as teens experiment with new hallucinogens or abuse a range of prescription drugs.
“A lot of parents say they’re afraid of ruining their relationship with their kid — they don’t want to be seen as the bad guy,” Beihl said. “I tell them, if you’re already worried about it, the relationship is probably not that great.”
Kim Hildreth, 52, of Dallas, tested both her daughters during their teens. They’re now in their 20s, and provide occasional assistance as she runs a company, drugtestyourteen.com, that sells testing kits online.
Hildreth has been in the business since 2003 and says she has many repeat customers — parents who used the tests on an older child and now worry about a younger sibling.
In Hildreth’s case, she opted for testing after concluding that her oldest daughter’s best friend was using methamphetamine.
“None of us wants to believe our kids are capable of that,” Hildreth said. “Denial is a much more comfortable place.”
She also later tested her younger daughter, to the point where resentment surfaced, but said both daughters are now staunch proponents of testing.
“We all think we know our kids, but they can change on a dime, and bad things can happen before you even figure it out,” Hildreth said. “They’re good at deceiving parents when they want to — that’s kind of their job.”
What do you think? Do you agree with Sen. Eric Adams that your children have no first amendment rights within your household, and parents have the right to intensely surveil their children for their own safety and the safety of the home? Or, is there a right to privacy that children have and loving parents should respect?
The Associated Press contributed to this article.
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Comments (99)
spirited
Posted on September 5, 2011 at 6:18pmA garden needs looking after.
The ‘fruits of labor’ do not materialize from rainfall alone; ‘watering’ is usually necessary as well.
Sleuth-like skills may be required to prevent, catch or eliminate invaders, intruders, thieves or killers.
>The “raise” in raising children includes a watchful eye.
Report Post »zymogene
Posted on September 5, 2011 at 6:26pmThat was wonderful!
Report Post »tower7femacamp
Posted on September 5, 2011 at 7:41pmGod No we should not spy on our kids…
Report Post »Do you want them to spy on you ????
jb.kibs
Posted on September 5, 2011 at 8:14pmyep… you should definately watch your children, by any means. you are 100% responsibile for them. they are under your “care” until 18.
Report Post »Rosemary416
Posted on September 5, 2011 at 8:25pmI don’t mind if my kids spy on me! I have nothing to hide and neither should they.
Report Post »tower7femacamp
Posted on September 5, 2011 at 8:45pmRosemary416 what if they made reading the Bible Illegal ???/
Report Post »and your kids reported you ?
you are not thinking forward.
Pigpen
Posted on September 5, 2011 at 9:23pmThe SWEET IRONY in all of this is that these “parents” are all BABY BOOMERS!!! You know, the generation that said: “Get off my back.”; “I am doin’ my own thing.”; “If it feels good, do it.”; and in general supported all sorts of theretofore unrecognized freedoms for the “children”, but now that the BABY BOOMERS are PARENTS, what do they do? They become UBER-FASCIST authoritarians who spy on their kids! Drugs and weapons searches? That’s a laugh! If the kid has a weapon it is only to defend himself in the “SOCIALIST UTOPIA” of a high school that his loser parents “reinvented” back in the sixties. And if he has drugs he probably stole them from his parents’ stash or used the same dealer to get the family discount! LMAO… SCREW YOU BOOMERS! You not only wrecked America like the huge locust swarm you are, but also you are TOTAL HYPOCRITES!!!
Report Post »UlyssesP
Posted on September 5, 2011 at 6:12pmWell, someone has to get them accustomed to the constant, 24/7 digital surveillance an ever increasing bloated progressive social-engineering government will bring in the coming years.
Report Post »ezeewhiz
Posted on September 5, 2011 at 6:09pmOf course not in the upside down world we live in today. The PC’s will tell you just hand over your check, car keys and the remote to your kids and go sit on the porch. Everything will be alright!!!
Report Post »Ruler4You
Posted on September 5, 2011 at 6:19pmIf you don’t spy on your kids, you are a bad parent. What is it that kids don’t have but always seem to assume they have? The ability to make the right decision, every time. What is a parent for? To make sure those kids grow up and have an innate ability for making the correct decision nearly every time. How would you know if that goal were progressing on schedule? The best way is when they aren‘t aware you are ’monitoring’ their choice(s).
Report Post »zymogene
Posted on September 5, 2011 at 6:32pmAmen RULER4U….otherwise we’d have a catch or whatever some animals have and our young could survive in this world without us! Breed, birth and be gone.
Report Post »wordweaver
Posted on September 5, 2011 at 6:05pmIf you can nurture a relationship with your child based on mutual respect, you don’t need high-tech spy gadgets. The strategy with my boy was to get him involved in wholesome activities like Scouting, church youth group, school drama troupe, and student government. In these things I supported him and participated with him frequently, especially in Scouting. He had his own computer since junior high and showed that he could use it responsibly. It is a delicate dance for a parent as the kids grow up – staying engaged, but giving them room to become responsible citizens and leaders. I have been blessed.
Report Post »zymogene
Posted on September 5, 2011 at 6:13pmYou are blessed the give and take worked as perfectly as books would say it should. The real test comes when that’s not the case.
Report Post »Mimi24
Posted on September 5, 2011 at 8:29pmI would say that your son has been blessed as well. So many parents these days seem to think we are supposed to be friends to our children rather than parents.
Report Post »patriot75
Posted on September 5, 2011 at 6:03pmsad that you think or trust your kids so little to go to such extremes to spy it is inportent to know what your kids are doing but there should be some trust also
Report Post »zymogene
Posted on September 5, 2011 at 6:28pmTrust is earned and like it or not, you “check” in one way or another.
Report Post »Profx72
Posted on September 5, 2011 at 5:57pmIt’s not spying: it’s taking RESPONSIBILITY, something that a lot of “Parents” have forgotten to do over the years. Until your children are actually ADULTS, you have to remember that they are CHILDREN, and that Children are not as mature as Adults, even when they act like they are. You can’t protect them from everything, but you should at least try. Your kids WILL eventually appreciate it.
Report Post »http://www.maverickvoice.com
zymogene
Posted on September 5, 2011 at 6:05pmAMEN. I’ve been baking cakes for nigh on to 5 decades, (lol)…I still do the tooth pick test to be sure. Sometimes checking is just normal reassurance.
Report Post »lonewolf57
Posted on September 5, 2011 at 5:53pmMy parents never needed ‘hi tech devices’ to spy on me.Trust when as a pre-teen and ‘you’ll get your ass whipped’ when you get home(as a teen) were enough for me.The local police picked me up one time.For a curfew violation of all things.Out on the street after 11:00pm at 15 yrs old.
Report Post »My step Dad picked me up at the station,after he was forced to leave work,asked me what I was doing.I told him I had a girl friend.My step Dad looked in my face sternly and told me,”you’ll have plenty of girl freinds,but you’ll only have MY trust one time,now lets go home and forget about this,okay?”.
I knew then what he was saying.I never broke that trust again.He was God to me,he nearly still is.
zymogene
Posted on September 5, 2011 at 6:07pmTrust….valuable thing to have…hard to earn easy to destroy. Never take it likely.
Report Post »jungle J
Posted on September 5, 2011 at 5:52pmonly stupid people ask stupid questions..it is your obligation.
Report Post »2ndAkeepsmefree
Posted on September 5, 2011 at 5:48pmI hate to agree with Eric Adams (a major NYC lowlife) but yes, yes and yes. I am responsible for my children’s safety and behavior in and out of the home. I have spied and will continue to spy until they are sovereign adults and on their own.
Report Post »swampbuck
Posted on September 5, 2011 at 5:47pmAs the father of three boys.. YES ….
Report Post »zymogene
Posted on September 5, 2011 at 5:40pmWith rights comes responsibility. Trust is earned. Maybe it’s just me, but I start with trust until you give me a reason not to trust. When they talk about monitors, all I can say is when, as a parent, you are held to standards that sometimes go beyond human possibilities and you are held accountable, even when you aren’t present…then it becomes a necessity. Lately, (last 20 yrs.) there’s no such thing as an accident….or personal responsibility or accountability, or simple common sense. Find someone or something else to blame, for ANYTHING negative that happens….as if this a perfect utopia and nothing bad ever happens. With trust comes faith and if you have to 100% monitor a teen then it’s not trust. Just like responsibility, isn’t responsibility, if I have to follow you and tell you something every step of they way. I need to know you will be, even when I’m not watching. Are you a responsible employee I can trust or a drone who mindlessly obeys? As a PARENT, your children are testing and failing or succeeding, and it is within your rights to check. I remember my daughter as a pre-teen complaining about basic things (get the heck out of my room and who are you to tell me not to put pizza under my bed!), when as an ADULT, I wasn’t allowed to go to work without a clear purse and locker checks, and receipts for a coke, etc. The day you are 100% responsible for what you do as a kid is the day I no longer monitor you…then the government will.
Report Post »CrazyTexan
Posted on September 5, 2011 at 5:35pmWhen you were trouble yourself, your kids can’t get away with much without you knowing about it.
Report Post »zymogene
Posted on September 5, 2011 at 5:49pmCan‘t con a con unless it’s a better con. lol
Report Post »biohazard23
Posted on September 5, 2011 at 6:28pmThere but for the grace of God, go I……
Report Post »mufassa
Posted on September 5, 2011 at 5:32pmParents have the best interests of the children, I understand that. However, if we electronically monitor everything our children do, it will become accepted as a way of life. The government monitoring the people electronically “in our best interests” will be the next step. Children will make mistakes, just as we did. Taking absolute electronic control of their life is a terrible method of parenting. Have a good relationship with the child and try to steer them in the correct direction. They will mess up. Love them, support them and focus on the positives.
Report Post »zymogene
Posted on September 5, 2011 at 6:02pmI agree….until it crossed the line when a parent drops their kid off at the school door, and the kid skips anyway and they want to put the parent in jail for it….or watch your kid get on the bus and “have faith” the bus driver is taking them to school and then they skip anyway, and you are at fault. That “letting go” of each phase is RISK…a test, a part of developing trust and such.
Report Post »neckcarjim
Posted on September 5, 2011 at 5:29pmYes you brought them into this world you sure can take them out.
Report Post »Zcat
Posted on September 5, 2011 at 5:25pmYou damn right you should. When they’re out on their own they can have all the privacy they want!
Report Post »Exrepublisheep
Posted on September 5, 2011 at 5:31pmAgreed
Report Post »zymogene
Posted on September 5, 2011 at 5:46pmLol, except for all the cams in every business and on the streets, and the good will neighbors and your bosses and loss control….on down the line. Sometimes I wonder if we are promoting trust and responsibility or getting used to being monitored.
Report Post »zymogene
Posted on September 5, 2011 at 5:51pmThat’s when they find out what true monitoring is. lol
Report Post »50stars13stripes
Posted on September 5, 2011 at 5:24pmCall it spying if you want, keeping track, tabs whatever, if I‘m responsible for raising them then yes I’ll “spy” all I want. My wife and I raised 2, And we “spied” on them all the time and still missed out on some of things they did. But they still turned out to be college graduating, good hard working, God believing, and proud of being an American. I am very proud of them and their accomlishments, so “spying” must of worked for them. I’m sure they did not like it when they wre growing up but that was not there call.
Report Post »zymogene
Posted on September 5, 2011 at 6:25pmMust have been a good spy, because you didn’t get caught. lol God I remember comming home and having tiny torn apart notes put together like a jigsaw puzzle that my Mom dug out of jean pockets…(we didn’t have computers or social networks etc.)…and the stern warning of “wait till your Father gets home and reads this!” For the HORRID information that I lied and went to a slumber party, via stopping a boys house, to listen to a garage band play. lol In the afternoon. Oh the shame!
Report Post »WhoIsTheCoon
Posted on September 5, 2011 at 5:20pmI was the worse kid in my town, possibly county or even state. If my parents would have known 1/1000 of the things I did they would be disgraced and possibly have killed me lol. I was TERRIBLE. My kid would not walk my path because I would whip them like I should have been.
Report Post »YepImaConservative
Posted on September 5, 2011 at 5:40pmIf you were THAT bad… I‘m thinking they weren’t paying much attention or catatonic, lol.
Report Post »searching for the Truth
Posted on September 5, 2011 at 5:19pmIf for no other reason than, other children will try to harm yours.
Report Post »searching for the Truth
Posted on September 5, 2011 at 5:17pmAbsolutely!
Report Post »YellowFin
Posted on September 5, 2011 at 5:17pmShould You Spy on Your Kids?
Oh, yes! And don’t apologize for it either.
Report Post »Gamaliel
Posted on September 5, 2011 at 5:15pm“Respecting my child’s privacy” has been quite the cop out for a lot of parents. This is often used by the same folks that allow total access to media and plenty of unsupervised time doing what everyone else is doing. Parents who do know what is going on are usually accused of being “over protective”.
Report Post »mikenleeds
Posted on September 5, 2011 at 5:13pmamen brother ,,, people let there kids run wild now days as long as they don t bother them . no wonder is youth acts like animals
Report Post »Rob
Posted on September 5, 2011 at 5:09pmI am a new father and I am going to be all OVER what my son does.
My mom and dad kept a pretty good eye and me and I STILL did things I shouldn’t have….If they hadn’t been looking as much as they did, I would have probably be dead.
Report Post »BooButtBrown
Posted on September 5, 2011 at 5:05pmI don’t need to “spy” on my son. I know where he is and what he is doing every second of the day…it’s called being a parent! Parents should care as much about their kids as they do their money, cars, and jobs and there wouldn’t be a problem.
Report Post »mikenleeds
Posted on September 5, 2011 at 5:14pmyou are a foolish person , a teenager moves there lips they are lying and they find ways to do what thye want too .. wake up stupid
Report Post »chfields62
Posted on September 5, 2011 at 5:39pmIf your not watching everywhere they go or what they say and who they talk to, especially online, your deluding yourself. You need to pay close attention to what they are doing. You should be searching their room randomly, have spyware programs on the pc, GPS on the phones and check thier phone for texts and downloads, etc. Kids that are given thier “privacy” usually end up in gangs or on drugs or in jail. Its our responsibilty to protect them from themselves, because teenagers brains are mush and they don’t comprehend the real dangers of life. The choice is yours, be responsible, or pay the the price…..
Report Post »zymogene
Posted on September 5, 2011 at 6:11pmHow do you know for sure? There’s tons out there screaming “not my baby, not my boy!” If you are POSITIVE….someones checking up….we’re humans ya know.
Report Post »Rosemary416
Posted on September 5, 2011 at 8:27pmMy advice? Trust but verify!
Report Post »BooButtBrown
Posted on September 6, 2011 at 12:04pmI am a stay-at-home Mom and have been since I found out I was going to have him. I home school him and spend everyday with him. I know him! That is why I trust him! He is a Christian and a good kid. My husband and I have given up a lot for me to stay home with him…but it has paid off! We also made the decision that we would have ONE so that we could invest in his life. I woulld bet that all of you who made negative comments about me don’t spend your time investing your life into your kids. Too many bills and too many kids? Don’t judge me…it makes you look like the idiot!
Report Post »TH30PH1LUS
Posted on September 5, 2011 at 5:03pmIf they are in your home, they are under your authority.
Report Post »FToth84
Posted on September 5, 2011 at 5:30pmYou got it TH3OPH1LUS! My house, My rules…
Report Post »Caerus
Posted on September 5, 2011 at 10:15pmExactly!
Personally, my parents didn’t spy on me (that I know of ;-) ), but they knew they didn’t have to, either. No drugs, drinking, sex, etc. I’ve just never been interested in possibly ruining my life for short-term gain.
My brother, on the hand, is probably going to be taking a home drug test soon, they track him with his phone’s GPS (openly), etc. He deserves the scrutiny. They have to keep closer tabs on him, because he is flouting the rules of their home.
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