SNL: Rick Santorum Promises to Visit Every County in the Nation
- Posted on January 8, 2012 at 9:27am by
Madeleine Morgenstern
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NBC
GOP presidential candidate Rick Santorum‘s rise in the poll’s guaranteed one thing in the first “Saturday Night Live” episode of 2012: His own cold open sketch.
Of his razor-thin loss to rival Mitt Romney in Tuesday’s Iowa caucuses, the former Pennsylvania senator declared, “had it not been for my opponent’s enormous financial advantage, and the usual Mormon trickery, we would surely have won outright.”
Santorum — played by cast member Andy Sandberg, of course outfitted in a sweater vest — recalled campaigning in each of Iowa’s 99 counties: From an event with 50 newly sworn-in American citizens, to one attended by just one person, to accidentally wandering into a 7-foot cornfield and screaming himself hoarse for hours until he was found.
“And now the campaign moves on,” Santorum said. “And what is this campaign about? Two things really. One, making the family once again the center of our nation’s public policy. And two, starting a war with Iran. As a favor to Israel. Whether Israel asks us to or not.”
He vowed to take his same Iowa campaigning strategy nationwide, visiting every county in the country — including Alaska’s Denali County with “the nation’s largest stock of grizzly bears and only five year-round residents” and Tennessee’s Monroe County that “was the inspiration for the film ‘Deliverance’ — I’ll be there too.”
He didn’t deny such a strategy could be dangerous — particularly San Francisco County in California — and acknowledged, “If the lesbians don’t get me, the Mormon death squads probably will.”
“But in the end, what happens to me isn’t important, this is about the country,” Santorum said, though he added: “Maybe one day, long after I’m gone, my grandchildren can look me up on Google and find something, you know, different from what’s there now.”
Watch the full clip below, via NBC:
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Comments (71)
Br@dley
Posted on January 8, 2012 at 12:49pmhilarious.
santorum is such a worthless tool. i can’t believe so many idiots actually fell for this guy.
no matter, his 15 minutes are about to expire.
Report Post »escape_from_socialism
Posted on January 8, 2012 at 1:18pmJust let zippie talk to bigger crowd, and he will destroy himself.
Report Post »GUNNSUP
Posted on January 8, 2012 at 2:18pmWhy is this news? SNL has shot their wad years ago. It used to be good back in the 70′s & early 80′s. They are now a bunch of lefty hacks attemping to indoctrinate the young braindead that will believe anything on TV coming from the government controlled media & shows like this…
Report Post »MeteoricLimbo
Posted on January 8, 2012 at 3:03pmI suppose, if one gets their news from SNL Brad
Report Post »recoveringneocon
Posted on January 8, 2012 at 3:14pmSantorum on the Tea Party
Report Post »http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3TVoVqvt74
13th Imam
Posted on January 8, 2012 at 3:15pmBrad gets his Snews from those vaunted paragons of journalism, John Stewart and Bill Mahr, Al Sharpton fills out the nitch and Ms Maddow cover two nitches.
Report Post »And SNL sucks.
Br@dley
Posted on January 8, 2012 at 5:11pmat 13th imam:
only morons make assumptions sir.
Report Post »i watch neither of the programs you listed, nor do i get my news from any cable “news” outlet.
stage9
Posted on January 8, 2012 at 10:14pm“Santorum brought his DEAD son home to show his other kids the body and slept with his DEAD son overnight.”
Are you insane???
Report Post »Locked
Posted on January 9, 2012 at 8:25am5 minute clip, chuckled maybe 3 times. Not SNL’s best.
However, it did bring up the important fact that Romney‘s campaign has much more money than Santorum’s. Face it: Santorum has no chance.
Report Post »ThemDemsLie2much
Posted on January 9, 2012 at 10:15amSaw it and thought it was very bad. The audience barely chuckled. I think SNL needs to look for material out of the political sector for once. It’s getting old and the actors suck at their impressions. I miss MAD TV! The Bachmann Blinking thing was funny at first but then it too got old after bringing it up every other word. SNL has a very bad cast right now. Probably the worst in the shows history. 2 thumbs down on this weeks show.
Report Post »NeoFan
Posted on January 9, 2012 at 6:11pmIs it any surprise that SNL can only find material on the right? That means that they see nothing funny about the freak show on the left. Ha. Thats what drugs will do to your mind.
Report Post »Tepeyac
Posted on January 10, 2012 at 7:12amYour comment only reinforces those of us who support Santorum! Keep up the motivational comments! You and your ilk are the reason Rick is running in the first place! God created the slugs also!
Report Post »Rational Man
Posted on January 8, 2012 at 12:32pmFailure of a career politician named Ron Paul
Paul, who has served 11 terms in three different stages dating back to 1976, didn’t get a single law passed until 2009, when he authored a bill that allowed for the sale of a customs house in Galveston, Texas. Failure is often the norm in Congress, where only 4 percent of proposed bills get a President’s signature, but Paul’s approach to lawmaking is particularly suited to not getting things done.
Of the 620 bills sponsored by Ron Paul during his long career in the House of Representatives, only four have ever made it to a vote on the House floor and only one of those became an actual law. An analysis by The Washington Post shows that Paul’s success rate of 0.2 percent falls far below that of most legislators, as Paul has chosen to stand up for his personal crusades, rather that build coalitions for more popular, but less ambitious, proposals.
http://www.theatlanticwire.com/politics/2011/12/ron-pauls-long-record-glorious-failures-congress/46661/
Report Post »Br@dley
Posted on January 8, 2012 at 12:47pmhard to get any support when you’re an honest statesman surrounded by crooks.
your screen name is quite the misnomer sir.
Report Post »Trenaway
Posted on January 8, 2012 at 2:39pm@Br@dleY That is so full of crap it is spilling all over the place. Paul honest in the same statement is like saying Clinton is not a player! Paul is a very dishonest politician, but you cultist freak jobs will continue to worship him. You go ahead and worship Paul and I will worship God Almighty!
Report Post »recoveringneocon
Posted on January 8, 2012 at 3:12pmLets compare Santorum’s Career to Paul’s
Santorum got a B.A. in political science from Pennsylvania State University, a
M.B.A. from the University of Pittsburgh and a Law degree from the Dickinson School of Law then
began practicing in Pittsburgh at the law firm Kirkpatrick & Lockhart, now known as K&L Gates. Representing the World Wrestling Federation while with K&L, Santorum argued that professional wrestling should be exempt from federal anabolic steroid regulations because it was not an actual sport, rather, entertainment.
At age 32 elected to the House of Representatives U.S. Senate (1995-2007) after his defeat in the Senate he became a Lobbyist.
Ron Paul, Doctor of Medicine getting his degree from Duke University’s School of Medicine, then doing his medical internship at the Henry Ford Hospital in Detroit, after that he served as a flight surgeon in the United States Air Force and then
in the United States Air National Guard. After his service he became a
obstetrics and gynecology, and then began his own private practice delivering over 4000 babies. In between this he has served as a Congress for the Texas’s 14th congressional district.
Lawyer / Career Politician / Lobbyist
VS.
Medical Doctor / Servicemen / OB/GYN, OBG / small business owner / Congressman
drattastic
Posted on January 8, 2012 at 3:58pmWhat you Paul fanatics don’t understand is this, DC is about making deals ,coalitions and relationships to get things done . I‘m not saying its right and I’m not saying it doesn‘t need major reform but that’s reality and how things get or don’t get done there . A President can‘t go in and wave a magic wand and make all that go away and a President who can’t get cooperation from not only the democrats but his own party gets NOTHING done no matter how high his ideals. Welcome to a Ron Paul Presidency.
Report Post »Br@dley
Posted on January 8, 2012 at 5:13pmyou obviously have no idea how much can be accomplished with a simple veto.
Report Post »robert9712000
Posted on January 8, 2012 at 9:09pmWell 2 things to your accusation that hes done nothing.First is,his main goal is to make Government smaller not bigger.So obviously he isnt going to try to get things passed that increase the size of government.So that takes away the easier way to get bills passed.The next thing to think about is he is almost a lone voice in the wilderness of a political system that strives to grow and assert ever increasing power over the people .So trying to pass bills that go completely against the establishment becomes rather difficult.To me if you want to try to determine his success,dont look at the bills but the fact that hes driving the discussion in modern politics and rallying people to push for smaller government..If you judge by how hes dictated the path this countries discussion is going id say hes doing well.
Report Post »beenaroundyaknow
Posted on January 8, 2012 at 12:32pmMy God, SNL has become an absolute waste, no talent, no creativity, no point. Time for this old whore to go away.
Report Post »Saved777
Posted on January 9, 2012 at 2:35amI’m always game for a good laugh, even if it’s against those I support, but I agree, this was absolutely boring, I didn’t even crack a smile… Now John Stewart… he’s funny
Report Post »Rayblue
Posted on January 8, 2012 at 12:22pmI was listening to Reeds “Metal Machine Music” about the time SNoozeL came on last night.
Report Post »Which one was more tightly packed with quality is up for debate. Both grind the thought particles like tiny piranhas on sore fingernail cuticles. Although “MMM” was more humorous.
Artist4Palin
Posted on January 8, 2012 at 12:16pmSkit was delightful…crazy Iowa had 99 counties while there are all toll only about 3000 counties in the whole nation. I told Palin people to get a worker in each of the three thousand counties. They were not listening to the likes of moi. lolThere are over 300,000 precincts in the USA that means three hundred thousand polling places. Get ready to work if you want to elect your “boy” for the GOP.
Report Post »SamIamTwo
Posted on January 8, 2012 at 12:13pmMeh, I go to bed before that crap comes on the boob tube. Gotta get at least 7 hrs of sleep to stay healthy. Soon Obama will institute a regulation for the number of hours required for sleeping. It is statistically tied to longevity and health. bwaahahahahahaha
Report Post »Patrick_Henry
Posted on January 8, 2012 at 12:08pmI watched this last night and thought it was one of the worst skits SNL has produced. No humor, no double entendre…nothing…time for SNL to retire…or was it s stealth hit peice in comedic clothing?… I miss the “Cone Heads” and “massive quantities of beer…”
Report Post »MR_ANDERSON
Posted on January 8, 2012 at 12:05pmnot bad on the look, if he could just get down the accent it would have been funnier.
I think he forgot which rick he was impersonating, and pulled out the Rick Perry in the beginning.
Report Post »TRONINTHEMORNING
Posted on January 8, 2012 at 12:09pmHe sounded like his other character, “Nick Cage.”
Report Post »Freedomtomakeupmyownmind
Posted on January 8, 2012 at 12:03pmHA HA HA HA HA HA LOVE IT!!!!!!! Spot on SNL.
Report Post »Dr. Joel Fleischman
Posted on January 10, 2012 at 1:42pmOf course you would think it’s funny. Now scram, HuffPo is missing one of their top morons.
Report Post »Plan B
Posted on January 8, 2012 at 12:00pmSNL is still on the air?
Report Post »RayOne
Posted on January 8, 2012 at 11:58amThe County system of government was organized to allow farmers and ranchers to conduct state business no more then one day travel to the capital. Things have changed, the bloated political class will not give up the power, redundancy, and elite status.
Report Post »Easily.
Emanuel Goldstein
Posted on January 8, 2012 at 11:38amIt is nice to see SNL is still able to fall back to the usual making fun of the Mormons and it is still as pathetic as it always has.
Report Post »RedStag
Posted on January 8, 2012 at 11:25amEven the audience didn’t think it was that funny or clever. The whole thing was peppered with courtesy laughs.
Report Post »THE TRUTH SHALL MAKE YOU FREE
Posted on January 8, 2012 at 11:17amA Suffolk University tracking poll released during the debate found Romney leading, at 35 percent, among likely GOP primary voters. But that marked an 8 point slide for Romney since last Tuesday, according to the pollsters.Romney was followed by Paul at 20 percent, Huntsman at 11 percent, Gingrich at 9 percent, Santorum at 8 percent and Texas Gov. Rick Perry at 1 percent.
Report Post »Mr.Truth
Posted on January 8, 2012 at 11:10amLOL!!! Sounds about right!!
Report Post »jorja
Posted on January 8, 2012 at 11:10amHeeHaw SNL isn’t so funny anymore. Obama has 57 or 1 or 2 more Countries covered. Did the doofus ever figure out how many were left?
Report Post »LeeroyJenkins
Posted on January 8, 2012 at 10:33amhe said pillow biters and donut buffers….Santorum 12 lmfao
Report Post »NOBALONEY
Posted on January 8, 2012 at 10:29amObama promises to visit all 57 states this time around.
Report Post »sallyredneck
Posted on January 9, 2012 at 3:31pmRick is a lot smarter than Obama he knows how many states there are in the USA . Thanks SNL for pointing that out.
Report Post »Tri-ox
Posted on January 8, 2012 at 10:24amYawn – more liberal dreck.
Report Post »qpwillie
Posted on January 8, 2012 at 10:23amI guess there’s supposed to be something funny there. I must have missed it.
Report Post »ModerationIsBest
Posted on January 8, 2012 at 11:11amThe only thing I thought was somewhat funny was, “If the lesbians don’t get me, the Mormon death squads sure will.”
Report Post »ares338
Posted on January 8, 2012 at 10:03amA non issue.
Report Post »Furrystoat
Posted on January 8, 2012 at 9:50amSNL’s inability to find humor in the Obama “Presidency” (doing so would be RACIST! , of course) must surely be causing nerves to fray among the ‘writers’ there. It‘s so much easier to just get back to the old familiar template of endlessly bashing conservatives and Christians as ’stupid theocratic hicks‘ as they’ve done for the past 30-odd years.
Report Post »Keep on keeping on, SNL. Your only viewers are humorless Lefties and they will be out of power AGAIN a year from now. You libs are like a crazy old man screaming at a cloud in the sky.
GeneTracy
Posted on January 8, 2012 at 10:23amVery well said.SNL use to be cutting edge,now it should be on the cutting floor.By the way,there are over 3000 counties in the U.S.Of course SNL doesn’t care about any kind of facts either.SNL,The Daily Show with Jon Stewart,and Bill Maher can’t go away fast enough IMO.
Report Post »ThePostman
Posted on January 8, 2012 at 9:42amBut at least the blaze has figured out how to link the video without the annoying commercials.
Report Post »ThePostman
Posted on January 8, 2012 at 9:41amSNL used to be funny. Now, eh, not so much.
Report Post »RedStag
Posted on January 8, 2012 at 11:28amYeah, 15 years ago. I wonder what their ratings are now.
Report Post »ddg7
Posted on January 8, 2012 at 9:28amYeah, all 57 of them! Oops, that‘s Barack’s line.
Report Post »