Study: Ladies Who Live With Boyfriends Pre-Marriage Unhappier Than Married Women
- Posted on April 8, 2011 at 5:33pm by
Emily Esfahani Smith
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Men, on the other hand, were not affected…
Via The Daily Beast:
Even in this day and age, the pressure’s on for women to find a husband. A new study of 22,000 people from around the world found that British women who shacked up with their boyfriends before they were married were unhappier than married women because society disapproves of their arrangement. Women who lived with their boyfriends without a ring on their finger in countries with traditional views of marriage such as America, Bulgaria, Brazil and Mexico were found to have low-self esteem.
In countries with a more relaxed outlook on marriage such as the Netherlands, this was not the case. Men, on the other hand, were not affected by their society’s views on marriage, since they are traditionally considered to be “breadwinners.“ The German research team suggested that women are ”pitied and look down upon” for not being married and could improve their self-esteem by convincing their boyfriends to walk down the aisle.
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Comments (128)
Vunks
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 6:40pmThe reason men are uneffected is they are unhappy either way.
Report Post »kickagrandma
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 6:35pmMy dad preached the “cow” and “milk” adage to me so much, I‘m surprised I didn’t moo.
My first thought when reading the headline is “ladies” is a presumption. “Women” would have been more appropriate.
Report Post »UpstateNYConservative
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 6:46pmI was raised to believe there ARE genuine Ladies out there. I wise woman, and a better man, knows the difference.
I guess it’s all up to personal choices rather than presumptions.
Between you and me ( I know, too, this is public), the things I saw from my dad were these: He kissed my mom every time he came home from work. The second, when once at a party, a Lady approached our table and my dad stood, as would a gentleman. I did, too–following his lead.
there are whores and johns, but there are also Ladies and gentlemen.
Not to argue or make some kind of ‘statement’, mind you. Just the way I see things on this subject.
Report Post »UpstateNYConservative
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 6:33pmNotice the trolls aren’t jumping in on this one! ~LMBO~
As usual, they’re out of their (Pee-Wee) league!
Report Post »teddrunk
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 6:29pmWomen blew a good thing. Motherhood is devalued to the point that some stranger now raises their kids, until the state takes over in kindergarten. Why bother having them if you’re not going to raise them.
Report Post »1959
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 7:31pmCould not agree more! I can not understand women (who don’t HAVE to work to put food on the table) going back to work and leaving ther babies and children with strangers. Beyond sad. I am convinced this has a very detrimental effect on these children.
Report Post »crushynn
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 8:06pmGood point!
Report Post »ThatCatGirl
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 8:24pmmy opinion: during the sexual revolution, women were told that just bcuz they had a family did not mean they could not have a career and vise versa. The entire workforce changed to the point where, in many cases, a 1 income family just cannot cut it. Not only does it leave latch key kids and emasculated men, but we have government who was happy to step up and tell women that they did not need husbands or children need fathers. They convinced girls that it was marvelous for them to explore their sexuality no matter where it leads, nor how often – and there are no consequences. Women are overworked, underpaid and lacking in clear moral absolutes. Men are all but obsolete, except in the media where they are portrayed as weak, bumbling fools. Children are being raised by MTV and the marxists in schools while the government penalizes marriage and gives more welfare to those shacking up. Wheee…..
That’s my $0.02 – YMMV.
Report Post »teddrunk
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 6:25pmWomen are never happy anyhow. Something is always wrong, and bet it’s a guys fault.
Report Post »Islesfordian
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 6:29pmIf you’re the guy they may be right.
Report Post »UpstateNYConservative
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 6:36pmOh, it’s all comical!
If a woman is in a bad mood, and you ask if she‘s having her period when she’s not, you’re going to get hurt.
If you ask when she is having her ‘time’, you might get killed.
After being married for long as I was, I realized the less I say among women, the better for me.
Report Post »8jrts
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 6:39pmteddrunk
” Something is always wrong, and bet it’s a guys fault.”
WOW!! You get it!! As long as you remember that you can make any women happy!! LOL
Report Post »momprayn
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 6:18pmYep – they‘ll try to say and convince themselves they’re happy but no, deep down, they’re not. My theory is it’s just common sense re females anyway. I think we’re all born with this “insecurity” deal (albeit in different degrees) and generally, we all have this longing we’re born with to be loved & cherished, taken care of by a man – to feel like we’re “number 1”, secure. When you’re not married, you don’t have the same security. God made us this way. Men, on the other hand, don’t have these same needs & always have been sort of “expected” to mess around, etc. Double standard. Women have rebelled and society in general has rebelled against traditional “religion” & their “restrictions”/morals, thinking they’ll be happier…..but it usually doesn’t work & deep down, they’re not satisfied. Also, many are just afraid of getting married bc of the high divorce rate.
Report Post »UpstateNYConservative
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 6:17pmThis is the end result of the liberal version of feminism: explore your feminity and you will be free! More so if you thrill to a lesbian encounter, have three abortions, and vote Democrat.
Pfft!
Call me old-fashioned, but no woman of worth respects a man who won’t commit. And, realistically, living together is not a commitment.
Women, overall, like being courted. You know–the suitor arrives with flowers, sits on the porch with her talking of thing profound and inane. She speaks of family and children, and he tells how he can provide that.
Her daddy–like it or not–is the referee (No, you fracking libs–that’s not the same as Daddy being a Hitler).
When a man can’t stand up, the Lady is harmed. And she knows it.
When a woman is a liberal feminist, the woman is harmed because her politics outweigh everything else.
And you liberal trolls here say Christian men ‘abuse’ the women we love. If you reallt think that, outside your politics, take a look at Islam
Report Post »Islesfordian
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 6:29pmI have heard powerful African women say that Christian marriage has been the most liberating thing to women in Africa.
Report Post »UpstateNYConservative
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 6:52pmLiberals love saying Christian men ‘abuse’ our wives, keeping them barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen.
They never read the Bible: The wife is to be treated gently, like a treasured fragile urn more rare than purest gold (grossly paraphrasing).
Report Post »SUU_ARNG
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 6:16pmSo it‘s society’s fault for making women who don’t share the same cultural values as others depressed?
I’m sure pedophiles are depressed, too, for the amount of social disapproval they live with. Tear ;(
Report Post »Non-sequitur
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 9:51pmEquating independent women with pedophiles. Classy.
Report Post »streetrodder
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 6:14pmThats because when they break up, there’s no alomony.
Report Post »Grasshopper42
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 6:13pmThanks TexanPatriot. Been there, done that. They know better but choose the dark side of life. No surprise they’re on the Govt. dole as well.
Report Post »avenger
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 6:13pmyou bet…I told my daughter when she was 14 to keep her legs crossed and not to give it away on a whim.cheap sex is not valued,it is like taking a crap….she followed my advice because dad was always there.today she(age34) is in her 6th year of a great marriage,both college grads making over $250,000 annually.no waiting tables or bar tending careers….
Report Post »welovetheUSA
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 6:12pmOfcourse, their is no bond…….no trust, no security, no family responsibilities shared…there is only…me..me..me
Report Post »Non-sequitur
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 9:52pmSounds like most marriages to me.
Report Post »teddrunk
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 6:10pmAdd your comments
Report Post »kickagrandma
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 6:33pm@TEDDRUNK ~~~ See above reply about Glenn’s FRI. special being dumped by FOX. Since it was about ISRAEL, I find that extremely provocative, and will not be watching FOX any more.
Report Post »jeffyfreezone
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 6:00pmWhy was Beck’s TV show dumped tonight? I won’t be watching Brett tonight.
Report Post »kickagrandma
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 6:31pm@JEFFYFREEZONE ~~~ We don’t know why it was dumped, but I immediately fired off an email to FOX NEWS about it and that their timing could not have been worse, esp. due to the topic: ISRAEL. I copied that email to one of Glenn’s addresses.
Everyone needs to be on FOX about this.
We are done with FOX.
Report Post »texanpatriot
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 5:57pmEver heard of tough love? Are you willing?
Report Post »Don’t visit them but invite them over for a meal at your house.
If they are out of town and want to visit have them sleep in separate bedrooms. Don’t be afraid to take the lads, who do not believe in buying the cow, for a long walk.
At least once a quarter, in a neutral venue, bring up marriage.
Oh, and show this finding to your daughters. Remember you are the one who is on the right side of this one.
Believe in tough love to teach a lesson to those you love?
paulamadden
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 5:53pmNonsense. Most of the young women I know are less inclined to marry now because it’s less beneficial for them to do so. They often are more educated and make more money than their BFs.
Report Post »avenger
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 6:04pmyep..they are the ones supporting their favorite stud… a never ending dead series of relationships.
Report Post »Sam Brown
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 6:04pmTodays educated woman is more about money and less about heart. I was married to the finest woman in the world for 40 years till she died of cancer. I know something about heart.
Report Post »sissykatz
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 6:18pmSam
I hope my husband can say the same thing about me, when the time comes. That is such a sweet and nice thing to say. Sorry for your loss
Report Post »Islesfordian
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 6:26pmWomen deceive themselves about a lot of things these days. But the deception doesn’t make them much happier. When they bother to search their heart they know they are missing something.
Report Post »1959
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 7:19pm@ Sam Brown, yes indeed you must know something about heart. Bless you.
Report Post »nfbailey
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 5:49pmThis is old, but it still holds true…..”Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?”
Report Post »dinadp
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 5:54pmLOL! The cow & milk thing was the first thing that came to my mind too!
Report Post »SingerGuy
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 6:41pmI had one of these liberal women throw that back at me by saying, “why buy the pig when you can get the sausage for free?”
Report Post »Sam Brown
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 5:46pmGosh, so confusing. If they are “ladies” how can they be shackups? Is this like the new math or something being applied to English?
Sammy
Report Post »teddrunk
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 6:10pmTrue..if a woman is shackin’ up, she’s certainly no lady.
Report Post »West/Paul/Cain 2012
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 5:45pmI was really expecting this study to show the opposite. I’m kind of relieved that marriage still may be valued a little bit.
Report Post »NickDeringer
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 5:43pmIf he don’t love you enough to marry you, he don’t love. All else is a big steaming pile of BS.
Report Post »sissykatz
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 6:21pmI believe that too Nick.
Report Post »Canuck GB Fan
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 7:16pmAgree 100%!
Report Post »Bluebonnet
Posted on April 10, 2011 at 7:24pmDitto
Report Post »Lost in the Flyover
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 5:42pmHaha the Boyfriends are too!
Report Post »AZPSYGUY
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 5:38pmHow were countries determined to have a “more traditional view of marriage” vs. those with a “relaxed outlook?” The U.S. has an over 50% divorce rate, and multiple states have pro-gay marriage laws. That doesn’t sound very “traditional” to me.
Report Post »pajamash
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 5:46pm“How were countries determined to have a “more traditional view of marriage” vs. those with a “relaxed outlook?”
___________________________________________________________________________________
I think it is determined by the tax rate. The higher the tax rate the more“relaxed outlook” (“progressive”) the country is viewed. ; )
Report Post »avenger
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 6:05pmyou can thank the fkng liberal freaks…
Report Post »riseandshine
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 5:38pmno doubt
Report Post »Showtime
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 5:36pmI’ve heard that before, and I believe it.
Report Post »keaton
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 8:14pmanybody want to live with an unhappy woman
Report Post »and to the republic
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 5:34pmthey needed a study to verify this????
Report Post »avenger
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 6:01pmwhy buy the cow..when you can get it by the quart…momma is always right !
Report Post »Dustyluv
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 6:04pmMy wife and i did not live together nor have sex before marriage. We are as happy as anyone I know. I know plenty who went the other way and they all have ended in divorce. Keep it in your pants until you slip her the ring first…
Report Post »JeffersonSmith
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 6:05pmYou can pay me any time to ‘not do a study’ and come up with the same answer.
Report Post »cheezwhiz
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 6:08pmwomen ………………. could improve their self-esteem by convincing their boyfriends to walk down the aisle.
Report Post »—————-
So whats in it for the boyfriend ? Other than being vulnerable to part with half of his everything taken away by a woman with low self-esteem, in case she wants to hook up with another schmuck she friends on Facebook ?
bullcrapbuster
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 6:15pmWomens liberation smoke,booze,easy sex,abortion,stress filled jobs,unsupervised out of control kids,etc etc thanks a lot progressives.
Report Post »8jrts
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 6:19pmDustyluv
Glad it’s worked out for you, but living together first does work also. When I was 22 my boyfriend moved in with me…. 7 years later we were married. We spent another 18 years together before he passed away. We were very happy. I think it just depends on how hard a couple works on their relationship.
@avenger Yeah well sometimes the cow likes to test the milking machine before buying, they don’t always work as well as they say they do and who wants to get stuck with a dud.
Report Post »davisgarvey
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 6:31pmTo 8jrts
Glad it worked for you, point of study was that it doesn’t work for most
Report Post »Patrick in AZ
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 6:40pmBullcrap, they’re unhappy either way :-)
Report Post »Anti_Spock
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 6:43pmAw gee… you mean living in an open relationship doesn’t bring happiness? Where have I been all these years.
Report Post »KwikKarl
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 6:49pmSame here Dusty… 1 Corinthians 7:8-9
Report Post »Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 6:56pmBut the study did show Men were happier.
Report Post »Amica
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 6:59pm8JRTS: Regarding your response to avenger (not the rest of your post).
Report Post »That’s fine, if the relationship is all about the milking.
8jrts
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 7:23pmAmica
The post I replied to was all about the milk…. it was sarcasm!
davisgarvey
Report Post »I guess I don’t think the stats on the story are completely correct. Not by comparison to the couples I’ve known over the years. Of course it doesn’t state ages they surveyed, and I am from an older era where couples don‘t walk out because it’s easier, whether they lived together first or not. I should have been clearer.
Physicist_In_Training
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 7:41pmWhy is the picture on the main page a picture of the new royal lady in England?
Report Post »paperpushermj
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 8:19pmSome people are just clueless. Why would the males attitude change. They have all the benefits of marriage without the commitment. It is considered a win win. The ladies need to learn to say no playing house without a ring.
Report Post »maumau
Posted on April 8, 2011 at 8:47pm@bullcrapbuster
Womens liberation smoke,booze,easy sex,abortion,stress filled jobs,unsupervised out of control kids,etc etc thanks a lot progressives.
nail on the head brother, nail on the head….
(also selfish and body obsessed…. )
Report Post »Cobra Blue
Posted on April 9, 2011 at 1:10amNew Flash….and did you really think otherwise.
Report Post »WhiteFang
Posted on April 9, 2011 at 1:40amAaaa, has anyone considered how our God feels about it?
Report Post »foobear
Posted on April 9, 2011 at 5:29am@Whitefang: “Aaaa, has anyone considered how our God feels about it?”
Unmarried couples could shack up for at least a month.
Not the answer you were expecting, I imagine. But then again, most modern Christians have never actually read what the Bible says about sex, trusting their ministers and priests to give them an unbiased version.
Deut 21:10-14
Report Post »“When thou goest forth to war against thine enemies, and the LORD thy God hath delivered them into thine hands, and thou hast taken them captive, And seest among the captives a beautiful woman, and hast a desire unto her, that thou wouldest have her to thy wife; Then thou shalt bring her home to thine house, and she shall shave her head, and pare her nails; And she shall put the raiment of her captivity from off her, and shall remain in thine house, and bewail her father and her mother a full month: and after that thou shalt go in unto her, and be her husband, and she shall be thy wife.”
SassyJenn
Posted on April 9, 2011 at 7:41pm@avenger Why buy the whole pig when all you want is a little sausage?
Report Post »independentvoteril
Posted on April 10, 2011 at 3:31pmHummm.. I am unhappy??? I am the HAPPIEST I have ever been in my life.. Now what??? Am I suppose to suddenly become UNHAPPY to prove their point??
Report Post »Legs33
Posted on April 11, 2011 at 10:34amWhy buy the cow when you can get the sausage for free?
Report Post »