Health

Study: Men‘s Sex Drive Plummets if Their Wives Hang Out With the Husband’s Male Friends

Wives Innocent Friendships with Husbands Friends Can Diminish Sex Drive“Partner betweenness.”

Yes, this is a scientific term researchers at the University of Chicago and Cornell University have coined to describe how men feel when their partners come between them and their friends.

You may think a man’s wife getting along with his buddies would make his life much easier, but research by scientists at Cornell and Chicago show the opposite. It concludes that men’s sex drives actually decrease significantly when their wives are close with their friends, especially in middle-aged and older men.

What‘s good for Monday night football and the obligatory dinner party can be terrible for a couple’s intimate life, the study says. Scientists looked into the health records and details of social activities of 3,000 men aged between 57 and 85. They found that men who reported problems in their sex lives were much more likely to have the same circle of friends as their wives.

“In effect, the romantic partner comes between the man and his friends,” says a report from the American Journal of Sociology. “Partner betweenness undermines men’s feelings of autonomy and privacy, which are central to traditional concepts of masculinity….This can lead to overt conflict or problems with partner satisfaction and attraction.”

Experts believe that a husband or wife’s low libido is one of the main reasons why marriages break down. A report from The Daily Mail says partner betweenness as well as factors of age, illness and even not enough sleep can contribute to an unhappy union.

Comments (45)

  • ying
    Posted on August 12, 2011 at 5:20pm

    Not ALL men! The “bulls” keep the drive. Naturally, all mammals have “bulls” who compete with other males. These are the strong ones, and frankly, the only ones who should be breeding anyway.

    Report Post » ying  
  • bkfirvine
    Posted on August 12, 2011 at 1:29am

    This study doesn’t matter to me: I don’t have a wife, I don’t have male friends (or any friends, for that matter), and I don’t have a sex drive.

    Report Post » bkfirvine  
  • GABOB
    Posted on August 12, 2011 at 12:51am

    It is the people you know you have to worry about.

    Report Post »  
  • nightmar
    Posted on August 11, 2011 at 10:20pm

    men and women are friends only after they have sex, nothing more or less before that, unless they are gay. period, no debate. get over it.

    Report Post »  
  • Caerus
    Posted on August 11, 2011 at 7:51pm

    Why not study anyone under 57? I would be interested to see if this trend holds up for younger people, we do have somewhat different social mores than the generation before us.

    Personally, I’m good friends with “my husband’s friends”. They were my friends too, all through high school. Hubby and I started hanging out because we had mutual friends. They aren’t “his friends”, they are our friends. And you know what? A bad sex life is not a problem we have.

    Report Post »  
  • uncensoredTalmud
    Posted on August 11, 2011 at 7:17pm

    We jews get paid $millions by your govt to sit around and study this stuff in think-tank institutions. And we sure do have a lot of fun doing it!

    Report Post » uncensoredTalmud  
  • moreteaplease
    Posted on August 11, 2011 at 3:53pm

    georgeisn6
    Posted on August 11, 2011 at 11:46am

    If your friends hang wit your wife, they are no longer friends; MY FRIENDS

    blazer809

    Well put

    I grew up in a military town and my neighborhood was only 2 miles from the amphibious base so there were a lot military guys living in the apartment complexes that where everywhere and every so often one would come home from a 6 month cruise and find out that his supposed friends were keeping the home fires burning with his wife or girlfriend while he was gone.

    Report Post » moreteaplease  
    • dr_funk
      Posted on August 11, 2011 at 5:28pm

      I find it irritating when my girlfriend tries to invite herself along to hang out with my friends…cuz then I have to behave myself, and she gets to make fun of me, and I don’t get to escape and talk about the s*** I wanna talk about. Instead I get to listen to re-hashed stories about myself, while my friends laugh or awkwardly pretend like they care.

      Let’s face it…most women aren’t very good storytellers, and they botch most jokes…

      Report Post »  
    • Valerius Poplicola
      Posted on August 11, 2011 at 10:31pm

      I am friends with my husband’s friends, it has had no effect on his libido. He still wants sex all the time. At the same token I don’t crowd him, and I don’t dishonor or embarass him in front of his friends. That is probably the real issue that causes the decrease in sex drive. Some women just don’t get it that a man NEEDS respect like a woman NEEDS love. If you as his wife embarass him with his friends, there goes the respect and with it, his affection for you. Don’t nag either. It doesn’t work and it just makes him want to avoid you.

      Report Post » Valerius Poplicola  
  • teddrunk
    Posted on August 11, 2011 at 3:28pm

    Why would a group of guys allow a wife from the group to hang out with them? Men having fun, shooting the breeze with a beer, or at a sports event, or working on a car, or anything like that, certainly don’t want women around. Heck, later in life, who wants them around when you’re alone.

    Report Post »  
  • Burlington Bill
    Posted on August 11, 2011 at 3:07pm

    Best insights I‘m ever seen or heard are contained in John Gray’s “Why Venus & Mars Collide.” Reading it myself — then a second time, with my wife (over her mild resistance) and then internalizing just a few of the concepts, has made a HUGE difference for us…and it has ZERO to do with any of my friends :-)

    Report Post »  
  • Centralsville
    Posted on August 11, 2011 at 3:05pm

    I have few friends therefore I have a great marriage and love life with my wife. My friends are my grown children, my son-in-laws, my wife and my grandchildren. There isn’t room for anyone else. I would rather spend time with my family than with anyone else. I did tell my daughter’s when they got married not to allow their husbands to have female friends that they hang around with and my son that his wife should not have male friends she runs around alone with. I have seen too many marriages destroyed by that. Like the movie “When Harry Met Sally”.

    Report Post »  
  • minorityconservative2
    Posted on August 11, 2011 at 2:53pm

    Shouldn’t it be that the friends came between the husband and wife? The man has a low sex drive not a hard time being friends with his friends. How did it turn out to be the woman messing up his relationship with his friends? I think that it is a little weird to be friends with your husband’s friends. And a husband that does not mind his friends being friends with his wife is weird too. My husband would not appreciate it if I called up one of the dudes he knows and started chatting.

    Report Post »  
    • REBELWITHACAUSE
      Posted on August 11, 2011 at 4:47pm

      THANK YOU… while I am good friends with all my husbands good friends, I certainly don‘t call ’em up and say, “Hey, let’s go have a beer“ or ”Hey, wanna come over and watch TV with me?”… my husband, I am SURE, would not appreciate that, and the guys are good enough friends to my husband that they wouldn’t dare step over that line even if I wanted them to. So… if there are problems with all this ‘friends being friends with friends’ malarky, well… I can’t imagine it taking a lot of figuring and polling and what-not to see that this could certainly become a problem with a marriage… I mean, DUH!!! YES… all very weird!!! That’s not normal behavior … not in the least. However, if all this happens a lot ‘out there’… and everyone is cool with it, and no one doing the nasty behind each others’ backs, then so be it… more power to ‘em… just not happening in my neighborhood. Our mama‘s didn’t raise no fools.

      Report Post » REBELWITHACAUSE  
    • dr_funk
      Posted on August 11, 2011 at 5:30pm

      You misunderstand the subject of the article. This is about wives tagging along and imposing themselves on gatherings with the husband’s friends.

      Which is very irritating, and does indeed compromise relationships.

      Report Post »  
  • Vic Tory
    Posted on August 11, 2011 at 2:34pm

    I got news for you…
    Marriage is what kills your sex drive.

    Report Post » Vic Tory  
    • timb58
      Posted on August 11, 2011 at 3:18pm

      That and when she gains 50 pounds

      Report Post »  
    • WesG
      Posted on August 11, 2011 at 3:31pm

      To funny and true. Jiggling is for jello. Slapping your wife‘s butt shouldn’t create a body wave.

      Report Post »  
    • teddrunk
      Posted on August 11, 2011 at 4:09pm

      “I got news for you…
      Marriage is what kills your sex drive.”
      That’s what I used to think until I realized someone already gave up the biggest part of their life being with me. That isn’t easy to do. It made me a whole lot more appreciative of my wife.

      Report Post »  
  • affinnity
    Posted on August 11, 2011 at 2:31pm

    I think more marriages fail because the wife hangs out with her male or female friends. Men don’t lose their sex drive until their dying or dead.

    Report Post » affinnity  
  • abbygirl1994
    Posted on August 11, 2011 at 2:27pm

    Gee, I wonder how much the tax payer paid for this bit of horse caca… what a waste of time and money!!!

    Report Post » abbygirl1994  
  • Cesium
    Posted on August 11, 2011 at 2:16pm

    haha…i call BS on this… it’s called your wife got old and fat sitting around eating bon bons in your middle age… our male minds don’t change… no middle age guy would have a libido problem if his wife kept it tight like michelle pfieffer.

    Report Post »  
  • Dustyluv
    Posted on August 11, 2011 at 1:58pm

    If she hangs out with his female friends the sex drive goes up!

    Report Post »  
  • Stoic one
    Posted on August 11, 2011 at 1:34pm

    And the VALUE of this study IS????????????????????

    I personally AM for research that is answering questions.

    what is this? the case against Viagra? you need Viagra? fine; pay for it out of your OWN pocket.

    Report Post » Stoic one  
    • bkfirvine
      Posted on August 12, 2011 at 1:33am

      No, dude – YOU pay for my Viagra! Haven’t you ever heard of the old adage, “It takes a village to raise a *****”?

      Report Post » bkfirvine  
  • AlansTigg
    Posted on August 11, 2011 at 12:36pm

    the things people spend time and money on….maybe men who share the same circle of friends with their wife lose their sex drive because they are smothered by her…spending time apart is pretty important, gives you things to talk about when you get back together…time to enjoy activities the other may not be into…and well it actually makes you more attractive to your wife when you are capable of a thought she didn’t put in your head. Damn society is killing us by convincing us we should be contrary to our nature

    Report Post » AlansTigg  
    • robert
      Posted on August 11, 2011 at 12:52pm

      “Study: Men‘s Sex Drive Plummets if Their Wives Hang Out With the Husband’s Male Friends”

      Yeah, especially if she goes along on trips to Vegas and hangs out with them at the local motel bar shooting pool every nigh, while he stays home and watches the kids..

      Report Post »  
  • LOJ
    Posted on August 11, 2011 at 12:32pm

    If you are jealous of your wife and your friend talking, you may have an insecurity problem, if talking is all they’re doing that is…

    Report Post »  
  • Mike N
    Posted on August 11, 2011 at 12:20pm

    I think the academic’s postulation is all wrong.

    I think that, in order to preserve the friendship, the husband suppresses what would be a normal competitive response, and suffers physical symptoms as the result of keeping the stress in.

    Report Post »  
    • HisNameWasRobertPaulson
      Posted on August 11, 2011 at 12:49pm

      What?

      Report Post »  
    • BonnieBlueFlag
      Posted on August 11, 2011 at 2:14pm

      @Mike N

      Correlation does not equal causation and without a control group this is anything but a scientific conclusion. That being said, your hypothesis seems more likely than the universities’. This “study” is more like a Readers Digest survey.

      Objective, imperical science RIP.

      Report Post » BonnieBlueFlag  
    • Valerius Poplicola
      Posted on August 11, 2011 at 10:33pm

      HISNAMEWASROBERTPAULSON: “What?”

      I just lol’d.

      Report Post » Valerius Poplicola  
  • jkendal
    Posted on August 11, 2011 at 12:06pm

    I can only see this study being true if the husband is insecure in his relationship with his wife.

    Report Post »  
    • jkendal
      Posted on August 11, 2011 at 12:15pm

      Not to mention his friends…..

      Report Post »  
    • apbt55
      Posted on August 11, 2011 at 12:39pm

      It is not insecurity, it is about dominance and hierarchy within male circles.

      Your female counterpart should not be buddy buddy with your friends. That is not good. IF your friends hanging out with your wife does not upset it is showing the inferiority of your genetics.

      Maybe in a completely castrated society where men do not have testicles or sex characteristics this is true, but not here. At least not yet, the liberals haven’t turned us into complete asexuals yet.

      Report Post »  
    • jkendal
      Posted on August 11, 2011 at 3:50pm

      “… it is showing the inferiority of your genetics.”

      Outside of what the stupid leftists are saying, that‘s the most absurd thing I’ve heard all day.

      Report Post »  
    • dr_funk
      Posted on August 11, 2011 at 5:34pm

      Its not about jealousy. Its about not being able to enjoy your friends’ company because your wife/girlfriend is there smothering everything.

      Report Post »  
  • harumph
    Posted on August 11, 2011 at 11:57am

    Hint: Send your friends home, first.

    Report Post » harumph  
  • georgeisn6
    Posted on August 11, 2011 at 11:46am

    If your friends hang wit your wife, they are no longer friends; MY FRIENDS

    Report Post »  
  • georgeisn6
    Posted on August 11, 2011 at 11:41am

    JOHN ADAMS> The Jews the Greeks the Romans Swiss and Dutch all lost their public spirit, their republican principles and habits and republican form of goverment, when they lost the modesty and domestic virtues of their women. < There my fellow americans went our country.

    Report Post »  
  • SamIamTwo
    Posted on August 11, 2011 at 11:21am

    Ok.

    Report Post » SamIamTwo  

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