Taiwanese Reporter Tests Out Slide, Freaks Out Big Time
- Posted on January 11, 2012 at 12:00am by
Becket Adams
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While a good deal of news from around the world is alarming and/or depressing, remember this: not all of it is. Some things are still hil-arious.
Seriously.
And this headline is not an exaggeration. This is one of the biggest (and best) freakouts we’ve seen in a long time.
Hilarity ensues:
“While offering viewers a glimpse into the basement of Taipei’s Grand Hotel,” explains Mediaite’s Alex Alvarez, the reporter “decided to showcase the hotel’s underground slide, hidden away behind a trompe l’oeil door.”
Wait. Why does this hotel have an underground slide?
According to the hotel’s website:
The underpasses have been mysterious in the eyes of many. Some believe them to be secret passageways that lead to the Presidential Office, while others insist they are connected to the Shilin Official Residence. In fact, when the hotel was refurbished, they were designed to be underpasses for evacuating guests in cases of emergency…The two underpasses are respectively located on the east and west side of the hotel. The east one…is 178 meters long…The west one [is] 180 meters in length…
Well, that clears that up.
“What looks like a fun little ride turns out to be a one-way ticket to whatever writhing mass of hair and teeth lies waiting at the bottom of darkest R’lyeh. Judging from her screams, at any rate,” Alvarez jokes.
Indeed, based on watching this video over and over and over again (trust us, we have), we’re starting to believe that she thought this would be waiting for her at the bottom:
We assume her expectations were shattered when she discovered that her feet-first descent into hell was nothing more than a quick trip to a dank hotel basement (as opposed to, you know, a “silent — waiting — abyss”).
Mildew!
(h/t Mediaite)
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Comments (116)
SLARTIBARTFAST
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 9:25amThat was pretty underwhelming! I love the lighter stuff, but I was expecting to hear her scream all the way to the bottom, or that they may have even set up cameras along the staircase at various points to catch the fun. Blaze, keep doing the occasional light hearted stuff, but choose better than this one.
Report Post »bpodlesnik
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 9:12amYou mad?
Report Post »jijmest
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 6:17pmAt the risk of being mean, to answer why women do not pass as much gas as men “IS” because they do not shut up long enough to build up pressure.
Report Post »cranberry
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 8:52amThanx Blaze for the funny, good start to my work day! The gal was so cute and brave, we still don’t know what is at the bottom of the slide….. did she survive? LOL
Report Post »crackerone
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 9:54amHalf way down, Howard Dean jumped out and ate her!
Report Post »ravinginfidel
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 12:47pmIts a shame there was no video of her face on the way down. Aren‘t we weird that this women’s fright would get a giggle out of us. I’m ashamed to say I chuckled for minutes.
Report Post »ketchsailor
Posted on January 12, 2012 at 12:31am“ Half way down the reporter was met by an Occupy China supporter soliciting for sex”
Report Post »Bobbie D
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 8:09amSome of the most beautiful women on the planet.
Report Post »RRFlyer
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 9:22amLive in Texas
Report Post »TSUNAMI-22
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 10:34am@ RRFlyer
Live in Texas
Report Post »~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Too many with hail damage. LOL
TexasHunter
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 1:08pmAmen to that!!
Report Post »Yeah_Buddy
Posted on January 12, 2012 at 12:33pmExcept those sqeeky voices are worse than nails on a chaulkboard. Epic vocal fail.
Report Post »bald stick
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 7:41amI have had her comments interpreted: Her exact quote before sliding was: “Stupid Americans, we are procreating at an alarming rate and will soon march on your country and destroy you economically and socially. I will now descend to the war room for procreation.” YEI YEOW YE YE YE YEEEEEeeeeee!!
Report Post »mwhaley
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 8:02amI do not see anything unusual about this video. This is the sound I hear when asians are driving.
Report Post »TomFerrari
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 8:13am@mwhaley – tisk tisk
Report Post »txn4justice
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 8:45amI like a woman who gets into her work! That’s a real go getter. Lots of enthusiasm.
Report Post »Tom K
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 9:58am@BALD STICK: The Taiwanese will NOT be marching on OUR country since they are our allies. They have to procreate at a high rate to have enough people to stave off a Red Chinese Attack ! Let’s brush up on our global knowlege. And of course, read the label and buy from Taiwan NOT Communist China !
Report Post »ozchambers
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 9:58amMaybe it’s just me, but I thought it was a multicultural kind of thing, cuz I thought she sounded like Speedy Gonzalez.
Report Post »Lgbpop
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 8:50pmTomferarri, you don’t live in Seatlle. The expression for that kind of driving – at least up on Capitol Hill and over in Freelard – is DWO, :driving while Oriental.” Pick a side street someday, pull up a lawnchair (well off the sidewalk so you don’t get run down) and get a bowl of popcorn and watch the action.
Report Post »Clegg72
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 10:47pmTaiwan has the lowest, or one of the lowest, birth rates in the world.
Report Post »Miyegombo Bayartsogt
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 7:29amIf this is a Taiwanese reporter why is she speaking Cantonese and not Mandarin Chinese or Taiwanese? Of course the scream is in the universal language of the Chinese girl.
Report Post »padraicohare
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 7:46amAre you really asking me?
Report Post »Tipdog
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 9:23amIt’s not Cantonese. Its Hakkanese. One of the many languages of Taiwan.
Report Post »Lgbpop
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 8:52pmWho cares?
Report Post »Tipdog
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 10:27pmEven if she was from Germany, it would have still been funny. So I guess your right, who cares…
Report Post »Clegg72
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 10:51pmYes, she is speaking Cantonese. She is not speaking Hakka.
Report Post »carlylauren
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 7:22am@4XEVERYTHING
I guess they’re just there for procreation and we ignore the everything else, then?
4xeverything
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 8:54amProcreation and protection ;)
No, but seriously, admonishing with nothing but words does nothing but fuel their vulgarity. It’s up to us to come up with more creative ways to, for lack of a better term, train them.
When my husband and I first moved in together, he never thought twice about bringing snacks, such ice cream, into bed at night. Totaly disgusting! Even more disgusting was that he would leave his bowl on the floor, half way under the bed. I decided then that I was not going to become “the nagging wife”. I took an entire week‘s worth of dirty dishes that had been left on the floor and put them on the driver’s seat of his work truck. A little surprise for him the next morning. Not a word was spoken and I no longer had to deal with the problem. So, no we don’t ignore them, we just outsmart them. It’s not really that hard.
TMGallagher
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 7:11amFreak out??? Hardly!
Report Post »jedi.kep
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 6:47amSounded like a war whoop to me…
Report Post »Salamander
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 6:39amClever, the helix design keeps the speed down to safe levels while providing an evacuation path that will handle a high volume of people without all the hazards of stairs. It would be interesting to see what happens when a bunch of panicked guests jump in faster than the safe queue pacing permits. Maybe there outght to be a ‘gate’ and sensors at the bottom to recognize a ‘pileup’ and slow things down a bit until it can be cleared.
Report Post »Salamander
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 6:44amGate at the top, sensors at the bottom! Sorry, fingers faster than the brain this morning!
Report Post »Jeopao
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 6:37amSlidezilla…….
Report Post »grannyrecipe
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 5:41amI don’t think she was scared, she was pretending to be an Injun going on a raid.
Report Post »Joseph28
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 4:48amawwww she’s adorable.
Report Post »Norm D. Plume
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 4:08amShe is outlandishly hawt.
Report Post »Christo_Redentor
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 3:43amI am getting really tired of these non important stories. I hope Beck is paying attention, this doesn’t seem like something he would be proud of.
Report Post »Sparhawk
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 3:55amThen stop coming to the site. We need some humorous or entertaining stories to break up the constant stories of political malfeasance. Take a break.
Report Post »philipzhao
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 7:10amThis was not newsy at all. The reporter speaks Hakka dialect very few Taiwanites could understand !
Report Post »Gypsy123
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 3:38amIt is 3:30 in the morning and I am laughing so hard I am crying and waking up the husband. What a great and funny story please give us more. You can’t make this stuff up.
Report Post »unpata
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 3:06amI believe she was speaking chinese and yelling help! What to do
Report Post »paperpushermj
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 2:40amBet She’s A Screamer.
Report Post »zman173rd
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 7:16amBetter than a SWEATER!
Report Post »Cat
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 11:27amShe’s not freaking out, she’s having a Taiwanese orgasm …
Report Post »paperpushermj
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 8:54pmHahahah
Report Post »bigdaddyt46
Posted on January 12, 2012 at 8:14ami got a sweater for Christmas. would have preferred a screamer, or a moaner, but a sweater’s nice.
Rodney dangerfield
Report Post »larrylarrylarry
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 1:43amThat’s the same sound the ladies make when I take off my underwear.
Report Post »TXPilot
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 2:11am@LARRYLARRYLARRY…….Ka Ching!!…lol…
Report Post »Gypsy123
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 3:34amI am laughing so hard I can’t get stopped that was a perfect comment lollllllll
Report Post »JJ Coolay
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 6:07amLaughing more at Larry than at the video clip!!
Report Post »NOT A CRAZY
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 1:37amI think she thought something much worse was at the bottom: The Imposter – Zero.
Report Post »Wool-Free Vision
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 1:22amHello, MLEBATES, and welcome to the internet, where we take humor VERY SERIOUSLY. There is no humor allowed here, only bitterness and hypersensitivity. Enjoy your stay.
Report Post »zwolfe12
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 9:42amWell said. And I mean that seriously… don’t laugh anyone… or…
Report Post »freedomofspeech
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 12:43amI want one
Report Post »Texas Tornado
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 12:09amtoo funny. Should stay away from that Aussie Lion cage.
Report Post »netmail
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 12:07amFor being so cute (looks-wise), Asian women make some VERY strange sounds sometimes.
Report Post »TXPilot
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 12:06amAs I was watching this clip, I was concerned for her…..and also a bit aroused…lol
Report Post »TXPilot
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 12:14amUm…..could she maybe do this scene again, only this time she should be dressed in a thong and talking into a banana?…….
Report Post »db321
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 12:18amWere the hell did she go – Isn’t somebody going to do something.
Report Post »LovingAmerica
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 1:18amTXPilot….. This girl is so cute and SO funny… then, the entire article was funny… and to top it off, your comments here actually made me laugh out loud! Oh, what a luxury to end my day laughing!
Report Post »TXPilot
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 1:23am@LOVINGAMERICA…..thanks for the compliment…..it’s nice to see some people have a sense of humor these days….
Report Post »carlylauren
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 3:49amWhy do men have to turn this into something erotic? If she were a guy, no women would be like ‘oooh, too bad he wasn‘t in black panties and a bow tie’. Ridiculous. The point of the story was her rather quick transition from calm reporter to completely freaked out by a superslide, not to turn it into some kind of sick fantasy.
Report Post »Salamander
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 6:41amHmmmm, a great addition to an employment office! If a candidate doesn’t make the cut, just dump the chair backwards and soon, his/her protests fade into the background! They can learn to yodel on the way down, which might add to their job skills for their next interview!
Report Post »superbyelich
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 8:57am@4XEVERYTHING
Report Post »What’s a ****-eating grin? Who would grin after eating fecal matter? That’s nasty…
TXPilot
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 11:53am@CARLYLAUREN…….what women think of as “erotic talk” by men, is referred to as talking about “relationships” when it comes to them. Ease up on the attitude a bit Carly, because going through life so up-tight isn’t good for your health. It also tends to foster attitudes of political correctness, and that‘s certainly something we don’t need more of in this country. Free speech is a good thing, especially if it is amusing.
Report Post »liberalescheisskopf
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 1:47pm@carlylauren: ‘oooh, too bad he wasn‘t in black panties’…..Men don’t wear black panties…and if they do they aren’t men.
Report Post »katiefrankie
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 1:51pmBWA ha ha! Txpilot, ease off! I almost spit juice into my computer reading your posts! Too funny. And 4XEverything, I hear ya. I think back to being courted by my husband, and the manners were so much better! And then we got married, and I swear I’ve been living in a cloud of gas ever since….
My husband grinned when I showed him this video, then spent most of it mimicking the cute little reporter as she spoke. Then his eyes got huge when she went caterwauling down the slide!
Report Post »TXPilot
Posted on January 11, 2012 at 2:38pm@KATIEFRANKIE……thanks for the compliment…and btw, if you need more things to interest your husband, bright lights, loud noises, anything sports related, barbeque, shiny cars, tv shows where farts are considered part of the dialog, and many other things of a similar intellectual nature, will entertain us men for hours upon end…. :D
Report Post »katiefrankie
Posted on January 12, 2012 at 12:43amTXPilot, I actually GAVE my husband permission to SPEED on the freeway today because he reported that a Corvette (the alleged “Ferrari Killer”) was in the next lane, and according to him, the hood has a clear window that lets you see the engine. Naturally, I wanted to see it up close, and it was ahead of us. As we passed it, I said, “Did they HAVE to paint it yellow?” He gave me an approving nod and grimace in agreement. I’m learning to speak “Guy.” Woo hoo!
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