Worst Resume Ever? Job-Seeker Declares He‘s Free of ’Venereal Diseases’
- Posted on September 14, 2011 at 8:30pm by
Jonathon M. Seidl
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I guess you can’t accuse Benedict Le Gauche of not being honest. The young U.K. man recently published the resume he’s been using for his job hunt, and it’s brutally honest. How honest? How about him saying that there’s a good chance, if hired, it’s “statistically improbable” he’ll enjoy the job. Or that his philosophy degree is “pointless.” Or best of all, he’s “free from all venereal diseases.”
ITN has the story, including his admission that he likes to close his eyes and pretend he’s Darth Vader:
ITN interviewed the 28-year-old Le Gauche, who admitted he’s only received two job offers (one for a “unicorn catcher), and that many people treat him like a “sociopath” as a result of the resume:
But the whole thing raises the question: Is the over-the-top resume really serving its purpose by getting Le Gauche the publicity a run-of-the-mill one couldn’t? Maybe. He’s certainly standing out.
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Comments (54)
LeGauche
Posted on September 15, 2011 at 9:03amThe offensive article itself;
http://curriculumvitiate.wordpress.com/the-cv/
Report Post »Smith29-2
Posted on September 15, 2011 at 9:02amPersonally I can only imagine Obama’s resume.
Nationality-Kenyan
Report Post »References-Bill Ayers
Goals for the Future-Spread the wealth around, tax the rich, send all the jobs overseas. Blame Bush, hire an idiot for the Vice Presidency, and kiss the backsides of every country that hates us all the while endorsing terrorism and treating Americans like they are the enemy. Make our kids and grandkids pay for it all. Ruin 200 years of wealth and prosperity in only four.
weeblewacker1
Posted on September 21, 2011 at 3:59pmwell,can you imagine good old G.W.Bush’s resume now? lets see: cheerleader,a.w.o.l. national guard,former drug user, former alcoholic, bankrupted companies,failed part owner of pro base-ball team,responsible for failing to stop the deadliest act of terrorism in the history of the U.S., 2 illegal wars started but not finished,failed to get osama bin laden,responsible for the destruction of the u.s.postal system,responsible for the greatest intrusion on American civil rights, responsible for the desecration of some of America’s and the worlds greatest natural wonders,failure to respond to natural disasters, direct cause of worlds fiscal melt-down and depression, squandering of budget surplus leading to 2/3rds of current budget deficit, outing of under cover government agent, compliance in war crimes-torture,complete loss of worlds respect, ummm,how much more do you want?
Report Post »ColoradoMaverick
Posted on September 15, 2011 at 7:52amSounds like he would make a great WH cabinet Czar.
Report Post »wampanoag
Posted on September 15, 2011 at 7:51amI saw a in a resume regarding questions about alcohol use:
Report Post »“ I drink religiously”
Marcia
Posted on September 15, 2011 at 6:18amI once knew a man who’s military fitness evaluation contrained the phrase “certified to be sane”….and he was PROUD of that!
Report Post »Enuff Zenuff
Posted on September 15, 2011 at 4:23amCorrection for TheBlaze:
THE WORST C.V. EVER was this applicant to be president of the USA:
Public Sector Experience: Chicago Community Organizer
Illinois Senator who voted ‘Present’
Private Sector Experience: None. Every job he’s held was on the public dole.
Education: Beyond his intelligence, but usually able to read a teleprompter pretty well.
Attended Muslims-only school in Indonesia
Mastered in Chicago-style Politics
Special Talent: Makes Conservatives refer to Carter’s & The Clintons’ terms as “The good old days”.
Awards: Rated the “Most Liberal Senator”.
Nobel Peace Prize (awarded post-humorously)
References available upon request from:
William Ayers & Bernardine Dorn (semi-retired terrorists now on the public dole)
Business associate = Tony Rezko (c/o Illinois Dept of Corrections)
Endorsements: Ultra-left Liberal Media.
Birth certificate: (See forgery attached)
‘Natural Born’ Citizen? (A constitutional requirement for this position): No
Social Security Number(s): Too numerous to list – (from almost all 57 states)
Health: Smoker, but no venereal diseases.
Recreational Activities/Hobbies: Golf, Golf, Basketball, Golf, Golf, Golf, Golf
Nice looking kids
Upbringing:
Mother = Hippie Slut Marxist
Father = Alcoholic Polygamist
Grandparents who raised him = Avowed Marxists
Spiritual Adviser = Rev. Wright
Motto: Don’t tell ME how to run
Report Post »Enuff Zenuff
Posted on September 15, 2011 at 4:26amFinal words were cut off:
MOTTO: Don’t tell ME how to run your life!
Report Post »weeblewacker1
Posted on September 21, 2011 at 4:02pmplease see the one i posted about your last “hero”
Report Post »Enuff Zenuff
Posted on September 22, 2011 at 1:10pm@weeblewhackeroffer
Yeah, that’s real original – you come a week later and copy my idea… The only astonishing thing about your posting is that you’re bragging about it!
& How can you defend someone who has injected steroids into all Bush’s worst mistakes? If Bush was the problem, Obama is definitely NOT the answer! The answer lies more in the direction of Palin’s approach to smaller government.
Report Post »sillyfreshness
Posted on September 15, 2011 at 1:07amI‘m guessing it’s so he can continue to get unemployment benefits by having a bad resume. Either that or he’s a flake.
Report Post »LeGauche
Posted on September 15, 2011 at 8:47amI’m not on the dole. I might be flake. What is a flake? Is it good?
Report Post »AvengerK
Posted on September 15, 2011 at 5:50pmLEGAUCHE…flake is that dry, white substance that you’ve noticed falling out of your hair when you shake that empty skull of yours. You should have gone for that unicorn catcher job offered to you it’s ideal for you. The pointlessness of your philosophy degree is exceeded only by the pointlessness of you.
Report Post »ProbIemSoIver
Posted on September 15, 2011 at 9:16pmWhy are you jerks giving this individual a hard time? Honesty is refreshing. He could be a Staunch conservative. LEGAUCHE, I am sure you will have an offer in no time. Sorry your economy is so bad,
Report Post »Ours is also. Please excuse these odious remarks from these obstreperous people !!!
Good Luck !!!
LeGauche
Posted on September 16, 2011 at 5:50amThanks PROBIEMSOLVER, nice to see you’re not all bats.
Report Post »dirtydog1776
Posted on September 15, 2011 at 12:16amAt least he is honest, a virtue in very short supply today.
Report Post »Zorro6821
Posted on September 15, 2011 at 8:49amI agree. Honesty is the best policy.
Report Post »AvengerK
Posted on September 15, 2011 at 6:04pmthe buffoon is a misguided fop and socially retarded. He’s not so much honest as he has trouble controlling his impulses..more accurately, doesn’t know which impulses to suppress. Luckily for him, he’s in the UK and can remain on the dole his whole life..well theoretically..in reality England is being forced to face some serious fiscal realities.
Report Post »I.Gaspar
Posted on September 14, 2011 at 11:27pmI was thinking he was a typical lib…until the no venereal disease part. That probably rules out most libs…
Report Post »Gypsy123
Posted on September 15, 2011 at 4:57amLove it lol
Report Post »Delaware Patriot
Posted on September 14, 2011 at 11:26pmThis moron wrote a resume where he’s assured that no one will hire him…Now why would anyone do that?
Report Post »Answer: In the UK Unemployment Benefits are FOREVER…there is no limit as to how long you can collect. So this guy solidifies his chances of never having to EVER work again AND STILL GET PAID…LOL. Ain’t that a pip?!!
LeGauche
Posted on September 15, 2011 at 8:50amI am not the recipient of benefits. I’m already employed as a caretaker. Why don’t you read the CV for yourself http://curriculumvitiate.wordpress.com/the-cv/
Report Post »AvengerK
Posted on September 15, 2011 at 5:54pmCaretaker LEGAUCHE? In other words, the government pays you to stay at home and pretend to look after someone. So yes…you’re on the government teat. Your name sounds French…no wonder there’s an air of obnoxiousness and bad personal hygiene about you.
Report Post »LeGauche
Posted on September 16, 2011 at 5:44amCaretaker like a ‘Janitor’, I think you people would have it. I push a mop around a building. If you’d read the CV (http://curriculumvitiate.wordpress.com/the-cv/) then you’d know. Is it unreasonable to ask you to read it before calling me names? Why you would think that caring for someone who needed care, at my house or someone else’s house, is an ignoble thing is beyond me. Dare I ask what you do AVENGERK?
Report Post »LibertyBrief
Posted on September 14, 2011 at 11:25pmThis guy is clearly trying to milk the Jobseekers’ Allowance (JSA) program by ensuring that no employer will hire him. Whenever you have entitlement programs like this, you will have people who try to get every penny of free money they think they deserve, even if it means doing senseless, idiotic things like creating a CV such as this.
Report Post »LeGauche
Posted on September 15, 2011 at 8:51amSigh. Not on JSA. Do not claim. Where have you got the idea that I do, by the way? Because it isn’t written anywhere. And I don’t.
Report Post »Tronix
Posted on September 14, 2011 at 11:15pmI’m just wondering what kind of lifestyle makes you think that being free of all venereal diseases is a unique and remarkable plus in a CV
Report Post »Ron_WA
Posted on September 14, 2011 at 11:12pmWhat a MO-ron!
Report Post »Oglethorpe1983
Posted on September 14, 2011 at 11:04pmComing from someone who has had similar trouble finding a job (My degree in History and Am. Poli Sci ha been pretty much worthless; and despite have experience in both contract research and office management/staff accounting…) I’m having no luck at all finding any real employment offers….
I found this to be an absolutely amazing strategy… If I was in a position to hire someone I would hire him just for the ingenuity of it all…
And if anyone wants to hire me…Im ready and willing to work…lol
Report Post »RA0725
Posted on September 14, 2011 at 10:02pmWhat does one do with a degree in philosophy, other than teach philosophy? I don’t think the job for unicorn catcher was a serious offer. They didn’t even mention benefits.
Report Post »TXPilot
Posted on September 14, 2011 at 10:11pmThat‘s what the UK get’s for allowing several generations of peopleto be “on the dole”, instead of making them learn to be self-sufficient. So now they have thousands of idiots wandering about with no skills and no motivation to improve themselves.
Report Post »loriann12
Posted on September 14, 2011 at 10:21pmOnce again, I’m reminded of the line from Ghost busters: Beakman, you’ve never worked in the private sector, they demand results.
Report Post »DeannaRae
Posted on September 14, 2011 at 10:23pmOne writes a philosphical resume, also worthless.
Report Post »HuckleberryFriend
Posted on September 14, 2011 at 10:00pmEh, I have probably seen worse. My favorite is when I receive applications for a job requiring X qualifications and the people applying not only do not have X, but don’t even know what X would be if it bit them squarely on the bum.
Report Post »Rayblue
Posted on September 14, 2011 at 9:38pmWhat ? Did Lady Gaga lose his day job ?
Report Post »Exrepublisheep
Posted on September 14, 2011 at 9:46pmL. Not out loud, but still laugh.
Report Post »Salamander
Posted on September 14, 2011 at 9:21pmYes, he is certainly standing out–like one of Rep Weiner’s photo-tweets!
Report Post »GBMBulletsSKNRD
Posted on September 14, 2011 at 9:46pmCome on the guy is a freak show.
Report Post »Bill Burns
Posted on September 14, 2011 at 9:17pmOborrow may have an opening for this dude as his
Report Post »VD czar,,,
KangarooJack
Posted on September 14, 2011 at 8:47pmJust got a call to attend {live} a Town Hall meeting via my Congressional Rep. One of the callers was quite upset regarding ‘Temp Services’ and how they get you a job but you’re not paid like the others, and you aren’t guaranteed a job in the end…
Contrary to our POTUS’ thoughts….ever consider that you don’t have a job because other people are more qualified for a position vs. you don’t have a venereal disease???? Gee, we DEMAND a mandate to have that as a question on an app for employment. {or do we?}
Report Post »Dustyluv
Posted on September 14, 2011 at 8:44pmHow many weeks of Unemployment do they get in the UK? I guarantee this guy will use every week…What a doofus.
Report Post »LeGauche
Posted on September 15, 2011 at 8:58amI do hope you’ve not put too much collateral behind that guarantee.
Report Post »N37BU6
Posted on September 14, 2011 at 8:41pmWow, this has been done over 9000 times on craigslist… next.
Report Post »1casawizard
Posted on September 14, 2011 at 8:40pmHe might have two brain cells to rub together. If he wants to come across the pond, he could get a job as spokesperson for the Democratic Party. He’d fit in just fine.
Report Post »Exrepublisheep
Posted on September 14, 2011 at 8:45pmCould Perry pass the V.D. test? Being bi I don’t think so…
Report Post »Salamander
Posted on September 14, 2011 at 9:18pmMaybe he has two brain cells to rub together in ‘the little head’; but, I‘m willing to wager that he couldn’t have more than one brain cell in ‘the big head’!
Report Post »chipmunk
Posted on September 15, 2011 at 3:11am@EXREPUBLISHEEP
I know you are, but what is Perry????????
JK. But ONLY a bi can recognize another bi. Didn’t you know that?
You better hurry & run over to that new article posted about gay marriage. I know that’s an important issue to you guys.
Report Post »chipmunk
Posted on September 14, 2011 at 8:40pmOr change the headline on this one to “A Liberal Looks for a Job in the UK”.
What????? Sounds right to me.
Report Post »Quagaar Warrior
Posted on September 14, 2011 at 8:39pm~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Report Post »At least his resume beats the heck out of Obama’s.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Salamander
Posted on September 14, 2011 at 9:19pmI’ll bet his birth certificate does too! And, his draft card!
Report Post »