‘You’re Screwed’: Jon Stewart Excoriates Obama’s Fundraising Efforts
- Posted on June 14, 2012 at 9:48am by
Erica Ritz
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Jon Stewart dedicated a portion of his show yesterday to the state of fundraising in the presidential campaign, both lambasting the president’s recent efforts, and offering his own suggestions.
He began in a somber tone: “[As] you know the presidential election [is] less than five months away. It’s a time when the American people reflect on the state of the nation and the needs of its citizenry, and examine which presidential candidate’s policy and temperament would best address these urgent and critical times…So that’s our job.”
“Their job is to raise as much f**king money as they can get their hands on, and it appears that is going to come down to the wire,” he continued, before announcing the “Cash of the Titans” segment with a bang.
Stewart soon flashed to a clip that said the president has already attended more than double the fundraisers President Bush attended during his entire first term, before sarcastically saying: “Yeah, I mean maybe if Obama was running against this cat [John Kerry], he could phone it in, too.”
He continued: “Just yesterday, President Obama attended six separate fundraisers…would have been seven but,” he laughed, “that would have been a bit much, don’t you think? I mean come on, he’s the president. He does need some down time to…plan tomorrow’s fundraisers.”
Watch the entire clip, via Comedy Central, below:
| The Daily Show with Jon Stewart | Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| Democalypse 2012 – Cash of the Titans | ||||
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From there, Stewart specifically ripped into the president’s fundraising initiative with Vogue’s editor-in-chief Anna Wintour, the woman who loosely inspired the book The Devil Wears Prada.
“I’m glad the president is going to be with Anna Wintour,” Stewart remarked in an ironic tone, “because if there’s two things the American people relate to, it’s the devil, and Prada.”
He then briefly analyzed the relative numbers thus far, noting, “All Obama [has] to do is six fundraisers a day for the next 22 to 23 days and he matches you!” before relating the news that billionaire casino magnate would also be giving $10 million to Romney.
“Mr. President, you’re screwed…You need to think bigger,” Stewart said dramatically, panning to a new camera.
“You need to monetize this presidency,” he declared, not referring to quantitative easing, but to advertising major products from the presidential platform.
As an example, he began: “There’s no reason the next joint session can’t be monetized. Boom,” inserting a giant Coca Cola into the recognized image.
Stewart likely didn’t think about how Michelle Obama or Mayor Bloomberg would feel about the president drinking more than 16 ounces of of the sugary beverage from the podium, before adding “Fellow Americans! The next State of the Union is surprisingly refreshing.”
“And don’t stop there,” he continued. “Remember when you oversaw the killing of Osama bin Laden? You must have known this photo would go viral. You had to think of it as an “assas-itunity.”
Other ideas included $20 per “get out of class free” note, referring to the little boy who received an excused absence after seeing the president speak, and a soundtrack of short clips of Obama singing.
“Hey, is that Obama rock?” a girl asks in a mock commercial voice. “It sure is!” her companion responds, flashing to the two popular clips of Obama singing “Let’s Stay Together“ and ”Sweet Home Chicago” over and over.
“Those two song fragments can be yours for just $2,500!”
Stewart concluded: “Mr. President you’re a likable guy with a lot of talents…And if you want to remain president, you’re going to have to exploit all of them.”
(H/T: Mediaite)






















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LeeR47
Posted on June 15, 2012 at 4:23pmMs. Wintour said people in Minnesota were so fat they were like “little houses”. Well, here in Minnesota we at least know that a grown woman should not wear a page-boy haircut EVER. Plus, where the hell is she from with that ridiculous accent? Obama, she is definitely one of your supporters: fake and whiney.
Report Post »obrien871
Posted on June 15, 2012 at 2:32pmHope Obama raises $3 billion dollars. Love to watch liberals throw their money down Barry’s Marxist rat hole. He’s going to lose in a “57” state landslide no matter how much he spends.
Democrats are going to be decimated in the house (further) and republicans are going to get a super majority in the senate for the first time ever.
The democrats will be so furious at what Obama’s done to them and their party that those remaining will gladly work with republicans to get our country back on track.
By being an America hating president Obama is going to finally be a “uniter”… after he’s gone.
Report Post »obrien871
Posted on June 15, 2012 at 2:23pmPs. That being said still think Barry is going to lose in a “56” state landslide… he’ll probably win Hawaii. LOL
Report Post »obrien871
Posted on June 15, 2012 at 2:04pmI despise the “do as I say not as I do” elitists in our White House… oops sorry Barry calls it “his” White House… and the military fights for “him”… not us.
Our dear leader is losing so he’s just going to legalize another couple million votes… by executive fiat. If this man steals this election we’ll have a dictator for life.
Oops sorry again… forgot… that’s why we have the second amendment. What was it Jefferson or was it Franklin said? The beauty of the second amendment is the only time you really need it is when the govt tries to take it away.
Why is it always liberals and democrats that want to take our guns away? Just sayin.
Report Post »routnom23
Posted on June 15, 2012 at 8:57amI love the pic of the situation room.
Report Post »sallyredneck
Posted on June 15, 2012 at 8:24amA person who hates rich capitalist sure does love there money.
Report Post »Central washington
Posted on June 14, 2012 at 10:30pmSeems like the only thing this president does is go to campaign raising events and then plays golf now and then. I remember Carter, Nixon, Kennedy, LBJ at least worked 12-15 hour days. You knew that by how they aged. Seems this pres just loves to be adored and has an extra thin skin to go with it.
Report Post »Its Gonna Getcha
Posted on June 14, 2012 at 6:55pmHave to thank Jon Stewart for putting it on the line.
Report Post »Its Gonna Getcha
Posted on June 14, 2012 at 7:00pmBy the way Jon, can you please check into whether it’s true this administration is trying to “edit” or “amend” the 1st Amendment so they can declare who can speak & when? Tha
Report Post »BlessedONE333
Posted on June 14, 2012 at 5:33pmhahahahahaha
joh stewart’s WIFE Tracy had to close her business and try and re-open it recently.
Why did she close?
because like all stupid liberals – she didn’t actually know anything about business, is lazy [she says so her self] and has not idea what it takes to be a capitalist!
http://www.thedailymeal.com/tracey-stewart-reopens-moomah-parents-and-kids?%3A+TheDailyMeal+%28The+Daily+Meal%29&Source=Taboola
she says: “Before I had kids I really loved eating out and I loved going to cafés, and I’m a terrible cook and I’m really lazy. Once I had kids, my choices of where I could go got really limited, so I wanted to create a space where I could go with my kids.”
when asked why she closed in the first place she said,
“Originally, when we first opened we wanted to have great coffee, great food, healthy things, things for kids, so our menu was very diverse and very complicated and it was fantastic, but it was also labor intensive. It was really hard for us to stay on top of all of that with labor costs and food costs with such abundance. We were getting a little defeated.”
hahahahaahahha
Report Post »liberals = idiots
sndrman
Posted on June 14, 2012 at 5:50pmdon’t serve what people want,serve what you want people to eat…..ask any bloomberg,moose-chelle,any liberal who’s willing to dictate….tell everyone what’s good for them….just because a liberal does or does not….liberals think that they have the right to tell everyone else what to do or not to do…..only if the biased media would stand up to these commies power hungry…..
Report Post »majasdad
Posted on June 15, 2012 at 2:25amHahahah…
Report Post »Yeah right, and I guess conservatives never close shop do they?
Hahahah…
Mike N
Posted on June 14, 2012 at 5:16pm.
Fool us once, shame on you. Fool us twice, shame on us.
Obama got elected playing on the ignorance of the American people the first time around. He made the majority believe he had good intentions, and that he would be able to follow through on them.
Now that America recognizes his real vision, and his inability to govern, he’s given up on hiding the truth. Instead, in an effort to convince people that his vision is right, he is traveling the entire nation trying to hammer stupidity into the American electorate.
November can’t come soon enough.
Report Post ».
Guerrino_P
Posted on June 14, 2012 at 5:00pm@GONZO
Report Post »Your losing your touch buddy. No crack about me getting my ass back over the Rio Grande this time? You’re a real piece of work dude.
Tri-ox
Posted on June 14, 2012 at 4:41pmIs Stewart counting all of the donations that he has given obama?
Report Post »GERATMO
Posted on June 14, 2012 at 3:35pmIm surprised he doesnt just print his campaign money.
Report Post »hialtitude
Posted on June 14, 2012 at 3:14pmWow, Stewart came out of his kool-aid induced fog to speak some truth for a few minutes. Big whoop. He’ll take another swig then go back to his Obama bum-licking ways. Not impressed. It still gobsmacks that millions of American idiots get their “news” from this clown.
Report Post »Inlightofthings
Posted on June 14, 2012 at 2:51pmAmazing that the idiot proposes product positioning by non other than the big money companies they castigate.
Report Post »Want our country back
Posted on June 14, 2012 at 3:11pmand yet they still support this dope!!!!
Report Post »BlackCrow
Posted on June 14, 2012 at 2:25pmYou going to ask for your million back Jon?
Report Post »jrmhrpr78
Posted on June 14, 2012 at 4:13pmThat was Bill Maher…
Report Post »RAGEAGAINSTTHEMACHINE
Posted on June 14, 2012 at 2:11pmFunny…but maybe he’s on to something here. If we commercialize all these things, maybe we could pay off the debt?? It’s OUR circus show, We the People are the rightful beneficiaries of said profits and should easily agree on where the funds should be applied. We the People doing the job government WON’T :)
Report Post »deeberj
Posted on June 14, 2012 at 1:50pmI’m just happy to see the lib comedians finally making fun of Obama. And the press finally asking a few hard questions of Obama’s people.
Report Post »Truthmonster
Posted on June 14, 2012 at 1:35pmIs this not bizarre. Little Jack Horner pulled out a plum 4 years ago. He now is letting his bizarro team take it to a whole new level. Sucking up to the elite and them sucking back. Here is the class he wants to make middle class and they think OK! Maybe they think Obama will give his friends a waiver from the taxes he wants to raise and the rich and middle class. Like he did for liberals on Obama care. Not going to happen rich liberal elite. Parker hasn’t had a hit since Sex in the City. She is living off capital gains from that money. That what Obama is going after. These are silly people.
Report Post »Workingthedirt
Posted on June 14, 2012 at 2:25pmYup, all those idiots who think Obama wants us all to live as well as our richest neighbor won‘t be so happy when they find out it’s their poorest neighbor he thinks we should all emulate.
Report Post »Gonzo
Posted on June 14, 2012 at 12:37pmLiberal’s favorite news source by a mile, Comedy Central.
Report Post »Publius Duo
Posted on June 14, 2012 at 1:33pmToo true, Too true.
Report Post »Guerrino_P
Posted on June 14, 2012 at 3:01pmGONSO speaks! And again says nothing! Yay, GONZO!!!!
Report Post »Workingthedirt
Posted on June 14, 2012 at 3:18pmWell when you think of what a joke this president and his administration has been at home and abroad, doesn’t it seem fitting?
Report Post »Gonzo
Posted on June 14, 2012 at 4:25pmWhat have you EVER said of consequence Guerrino_P? In your entire time on here you never originate a comment, you just snipe from the sidelines without ever stating an opinion. Of course it does take an IQ in triple digits to form opinions and original thoughts. So perhaps that’s all you can do.
Report Post »majasdad
Posted on June 15, 2012 at 7:41amMaybe, but even as a comedy program it has infinitely more credibility news-wise than the Blaze or Foxnews.
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