User Profile: Albear

Member Since: May 19, 2011


  • October 26, 2013 at 12:08pm

    “Say, Mr. President, isn’t that Joe Biden standing out there?”
    “Who’s Joe Biden?”

  • October 26, 2013 at 12:07pm

    “And if you call now, I’ll thrown in this glassy eyed disciple absolutely free!”

  • October 26, 2013 at 12:05pm

    “My fetus is stuck with HOW MUCH of the National Debt?!”

  • October 26, 2013 at 11:57am

    “Wow. He made that girl faint! He’s like the Kenyan Justin Bieber!”

  • February 19, 2013 at 2:13am

    PG County says the ban is “temporary.” Translation: It’ll last until CPAC decides that moving its convention to the Gaylord in National Harbor (in PG County) isn’t such a great idea, and perhaps it’d be better held in a county more respectful of the 2nd Amendment.

  • October 12, 2012 at 9:02pm

    “So, toots. Whataya say we leave junior here with a babysitter and let papa show you a good time?”

  • October 12, 2012 at 8:57pm

    “Truly, do we want funny-face over there with his finger on the nuclear button?”

  • September 14, 2012 at 8:32pm

    “I may not be able to run a marathon under 3 hours, but when it comes to lasagna racing I’m the MAN!”

    In reply to the post Caption that photo!: Paul Ryan

  • September 14, 2012 at 8:30pm

    When Mitt asked me to help serve Americans I didn’t think he meant serving dinner.

    In reply to the post Caption that photo!: Paul Ryan

  • September 14, 2012 at 8:29pm

    “Uh, Mr. Obama. Seems you left behind more of your b-s.”

    In reply to the post Caption that photo!: Paul Ryan

  • September 14, 2012 at 8:28pm

    “If I stare at it long enough maybe it’ll turn into a celery stick.”

    In reply to the post Caption that photo!: Paul Ryan

  • September 14, 2012 at 8:26pm

    “Let’s see…30 extra minutes of Px90 and I can eat this puppy.”

    In reply to the post Caption that photo!: Paul Ryan

  • September 14, 2012 at 1:59pm

    Carney was right. Absolutely. I know a little Arabic and I can tell you they were all shouting, “Death to Obscure Video Makers!”
    Let’s be simple about this: On the anniversary of 9/11 we suffered coordinated terrorist attacks at two of our embassies. On this president’s watch. In locations he helped destabilize. Attacks his appointed people then apologized for. Repeatedly.
    On the plus side, the Commander-in-Chief did get enough beauty sleep for his campaign trip to Vegas. And he certainly is not going to want to look worn when he’s partying with Jay-Z and Beyonce next week. I mean, a man’s got to have his priorities.
    Seriously, this Administration is operating in the realm of fantasy. America’s driving 150 miles an hour straight into the flames and Amanda Bynes is behind the wheel.

  • September 7, 2012 at 2:59am

    The decision to go after Bin Laden was probably the easiest decision a President gets to make. “Mr President, we’re reasonably certain we know where he is.” “Then get the SOB.” Where he does get credit is deciding to send in the SEALS rather than leveling the place. Now, here’s the problem. He made an unbelievably foolish, stupendously dangerous, and selfish decision to share the news as soon as he could find a suit to put on and someone awake enough to operate the camera. You don’t tell anybody what you’ve done until you’ve squeeze all advantage out of the intelligence found and the witnesses and watching to see what lines light up when word starts spreading. And you certainly don’t leak information that will lead your foes straight to whoever helped you. Burning that doctor was both immoral and makes it that much more unlikely the next person in a position to help us stop a terror attack will keep his trap shut. It’s also incredibly tacky to have taken so much personal credit and continuing to do so. He acts as if he parachuted in and personally pushed the bullets into Osama’s skull with his fingers.

  • September 6, 2012 at 11:30pm

    Actually, Senator Kerry, I think the answer would be “Yes.” 72 Virgins in heaven probably beats a gaggle of fighting wives in Pakistan.

  • September 5, 2012 at 3:06am

    “I love that for Barack, there is no such thing as ‘us’ and ‘them’…”

    True. There is only “I” and “me.”

  • September 2, 2012 at 11:41am

    Obama said in that speech that the Republican ideas are “from the last century.” Uh, wouldn’t that be the century dubbed “The American century”? Just sayin’.

  • September 2, 2012 at 11:29am

    We can play the game all morning. Ryan misstates during a radio interview a marathon time (and subsequently corrects). Obama lies 37 times in his own carefully crafted autobiography and there’s silence. However, what is most amazing about the story is the source: The L-A Times. The same L-A Times that has refused to release 2003 videotape of Barack Obama singing the high praises of terrorist supporter and Arafat mouthpiece Rashid Kalidi at a party stocked to the rafters with other radicals and anti-Semites including Bill Ayers and Bernadine Dorn. Misstating a marathon time from decades ago=BIG NEWS. Loving on a terrorist a couple years before an election=NOTHING TO SEE HERE.

  • September 1, 2012 at 3:24pm

    “Well, if I can’t be president anymore, i can at least be a prop in Eastwood’s next movie.”

  • September 1, 2012 at 3:16pm

    “Uh-oh. Voters are finally seeing right through me.”

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